Chapter Four

Belonging

Buffy hated to admit it, even to herself, but she was actually nervous. It was impossible of course, after all, she was a slayer. And slayers didn't get nervous. She had fought a hell goddess, the first evil and the master of Aurellius, Darla and Drusilla, the mayor of Sunnydale and a psycho killing machine and a dark slayer. She had been bought back to life so many times she'd lost count and fought with so many ex boy friends she'd also lost count of that to. She'd had to train a whole army of potential slayers and give thousands of pep talk speeches. She'd even had to council the students of Sunnydale High. So really, if she could do all of that, this should be easy in comparison.

That's what she kept telling herself, but she still managed to have butterflies in her stomach when she entered the hall of the Citadel. If the city had impressed her, it was nothing compared to the beauty and luxury of the Seventh Circle and the Citadel itself.

Her nerves already stretched to the limit, reached breaking point when the queen of Gondor entered the room. The sudden whispers and quiet exclamations from the other women around her alerted her to Arwens presence. Future queen, she had to remind herself. But from all that she'd learned in the last couple of days, Arwen was queen to these people in everything but name and title, no mater that she and Aragorn weren't married yet.

Arwen was dressed in a beautiful dress of red and gold silk that went perfectly with her long dark hair and blue eyes. A jewelled necklace hung about her neck, sparkling in the sunshine that shone through the windows, giving a golden light to everything in the room. Buffy suddenly felt like the ugly duckling of the group as she looked down at her simple attire. Typical, she thought, feeling strangely jealous of the elven maiden. She was just glad that Aragorn wasn't anywhere to be seen, otherwise she felt sure she'd flee the room.

She knew she was in trouble though. She hadn't even met the guy yet and he could make her feel this way, just from a vision? Angel was the only one who had had that kind of effect on her, and she wasn't used to it.

Come on pull it together Summers, she told herself sternly. You've got to face him sometime right? Although she actually felt a little bit better that he hadn't come with Arwen and decided to just relax and be herself. No matter what trouble that got her into!

As Arwen looked at the small group in front of her, Buffy got the feeling that she'd rather be anywhere else. "Greetings everyone," she began, and Buffy fought to roll her eyes. She had always hated these formal things, not that anyone in her world that she knew of ever used the word greetings! She glanced across the room and saw Tara standing there quietly. Tara caught her eye and seemed to know what Buffy was thinking, because she shook her head quickly and mouthed the word no. Buffy remembered her friends little talk that morning. "Remember to act like a lady!"

Buffy had laughed at this. "I always act like a lady!" she'd protested. "I mean come on, you told me all I need to know, when really, all I have to remember is to say please and thank you and I'll be fine. You've got nothing to worry about!"

Buffy was beginning to regret having said this, because she suddenly didn't feel so cocky.

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"Don't do this Legolas," Aragorn warned the prince of Mirkwood sternly. "It is folly to even think about it!"

Legolas glanced up at him and answered gravely, "It's all right Estel. I can reach it."

"That's not the point!" Aragorn tried again desperately. "You have to…"

But the elf looked away, raised his golden bow and arrow, and fired. The arrow flew through the air at a high speed, had you blinked you would have missed it and hit the target area before them with perfect aim.

"Didn't I tell you Estel?" he said smugly. "It has been weeks since the war, I am perfectly heeled. I told you I would be up to this!"

Aragorn sighed in defeat. "It was not your aim I was worried about," he said. "This is a time to celebrate. Have you ever heard of the term relaxation? You should try looking it up and then try to use it. I'm sure it would do you good."

Legolas ignored him and went to retrieve the arrow that now sparkled in the sunlight.

"It isn't wise to ignore your king," Aragorn tried again, knowing his attempt would fail once more.

"My father is my king, and someday I will be one to," his friend replied calmly. "Do not try that one with me. You could never threaten me estel, don't start trying now!" he paused and then said seriously, "But you know my kingdom still has those monsters roaming around to be dealt with. They won't go away overnight. I have to keep in shape."

"I see then I can't change your mind. But you know I could never beat you. I'll sit this round out," Aragorn grinned then and turned to their audience, who had remained unusually silent. Gimli glanced up at the sudden silence and shook his head firmly. "Oh no," he told them both. "I know those looks. Don't even think about it!"

"But it would be fun!" Aragorn protested. "And if we must do this, lets do it right! Gimli, take a turn!"

Grumblinng, the dwarf rose to his feet. "I guess I'm outnumbered two to one," he muttered. "By an ex ranger and an elf no less. Fine, have it your way lads! But I must warn you…no dwarf has ever been known to use the weapons made for an elf's use!"

Legolas grinned. "Weren't you the one who once said, high cause of death, what are we waiting for? And there is a first time for everything," he said, handing the dwarf the bow, which was nearly twice his size.

"This is ridiculous!" Gimli told them. He was hardly able to handle the weapon, but he tried to take aim anyway. The arrow missed the target by a fair distance. Aragorn nodded, trying to act seriously. "Pretty good for a dwarf!" he commented.

"I'll get you back for this one day Aragorn," Gimli said good naturedly, before returning to his seat, and then he continued to smoke his pipe, like nothing had happened.

After one more shot from Aragorn, legolas suddenly turned towards his friends and took a seat with them. "Maybe it is us who should be telling you to relax, Aragorn," he said sounding concerned.

Aragorn pretended to look shocked at this remark. "What are you on about?" he asked in surprise. "I have been perfectly calm all week, more so then you. Considering it is I who is getting married this week…" his voice trailed off.

"Actually laddy," confirmed Gimli. "To quote your words, this is a time for celebration. And yet, since we first returned to Gondor, this is the first time we've seen you so…light hearted. We've both noticed a…" he hesitated. "Legolas continue. Dwarves aren't known for this kind of thing!"

Legolas sighed. "He's right. We've noticed something between you and Lady Arwen. Are things ok with you both?"

Aragorn avoided their gaze, sadness suddenly in his eyes. "The truth is I honestly couldn't tell you. Because she tells me nothing. I can see trouble in her eyes, something worries her. Doubt lingers…..that can't be a good thing. But if she won't even try to talk to me….how can I help change things?"

"Maybe by using a thing called subtlety?" Legolas suggested. "Try to stop pushing her so badly and she will soon answer your questions. Be kind and patient with her."

"I am as patient as any man could be. It is days before our wedding."

Legolas sighed, troubled. "Then…I'm afraid it is a woman's advice you need my friend."

Aragorn grimaced. "I was afraid you were going to say something like that!"

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Buffy had had a busy couple of days getting used to finding her way around the castle. It was almost as big as the city outside. One thing she found though, that Arwen was always kind and a very sweet person. She always made time to talk to Buffy and the other women who now worked there. And she always helped Buffy find her way if she ran into her. But Buffy still hadn't run into Aragorn yet.

There was a bigmeal to be held in the great hall tonight for the arrival of king Thranduil, Legolas's father. Buffy had learned he was an elf, like the lady Arwen. But she still didn't have a clue who all these people were. Maybe she would find out then.

She mostly kept to herself when she went about her chores…..such as cleaning the bed chambers, helping Lady Arwen and Eowyn, sometimes even Lothiriel. She even sometimes snuck into the kitchens and helped out there, having gotten quite friendly with the chefs. She was lucky not to be caught. Not that anything bad would happen, but she had a feeling in this time, men were in charge of the food. As well as various other jobs that she wanted to try, because doing the same thing over and over got boring fast, but she didn't want to shock anyone too much….not yet anyway.

There were moments when she spied on members of the fellowship, and felt a pang of jealousy at all of their camaraderie. She had only been gone a few days, and already she missed her friends. She didn't know about how the time difference would affect them, but she knew they would soon be getting on with their lives without her.

Then, when they all caught her staring atthem for to long, she'd hurry away, shaking herself out of it. After all, this had been her choice. But so far, it didn't seem to be worth it. She wasn't helping anyone, at least, not in a save the world kind of way.

The day dragged by seeming to go on endlessly. When it was finally time for a break, she gratefully sipped at some water. Then she decided to do some more exploring, and found herself in the upper corridors. She hadn't gone very far though, when she heard the sound of arguing. The disturbing part was though, it sounded so….polite. Like a debate or something. She could tell they didn't want to be overheard, but she could hear the hurt in their voices.

"Arwen, how can you be saying all of this to me now?" someone…she assumed was Aragorn was whispering. "I thought…I thought we were happy?"

Arwen sounded like she was crying softly, and Buffy leaned in closer to hear. "I'm so sorry. But that is my choice!"

Buffy couldn't believe it. She was breaking it off with him now? Talk about bad timing…but no time soon was going to be good.

"There is nothing I can say to change your mind?" The king asked coolly.

Arwen stifled a sob. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I…hope you will understand and forgive me one day Estel."

The door opened so fast, Buffy barely had time to jump back. Arwen rushed past so quickly, she didn't spot the nervous slayer. But Aragorn did.

He turned his grey eyes on her, and they reminded her of a storm. Not a great first meeting.

"How much did you hear?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly.

She shook her head. "Hear what my lord?" she answered as politely as she could.

He smiled sadly but gratefully at her. "Thank you."

Well, that evening would certainly be interesting, she thought as he walked away.