Alchemy At Hogwarts
By: Solar Hawk
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of its characters. Nor do I own Harry Potter and its characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this now would I?
Chapter 2 : What Alley?
"What alley?" Ed asked for the millionth time. They had been on the train for an hour to get to London. Ed had been so excited and now he was totally bored. He was slumped boredly in his seat and was staring at a fly with great interest. Besides, his blackened eye hurt an awful lot.
"Diagon Alley, for heaven's sake! Gosh, Ed!" Reina was in a terrible mood today. Why? Al and Ed couldn't say exactly, but it may have had something to do with this morning...
"Sh..." Ed whispered to Al. He slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door to Reina's room.
"Brother," Al said unsurely. "Do you really think this is a very good idea?" He protested desperately in an attempt to make Ed change his mind about this little scheme.
Ed shook his head quickly and an evil grin crept on his face. "No way, Al!" he snickered. "This is my chance to get back at her for dying my hair pink! I was the laughingstock of the military for weeks," Ed sighed, wishing he could've just waked up five minutes earlier that day. "Besides, don't you wanna get back at her for scribbling all over your armor with Elysia and her crayons?"
Al pretended to not care and luckily, he could show no facial expressions. "No! She's my sister, and she's yours too!" He crossed his arms, although seventy-five percent of him wanted to go along with Ed. The other twenty-five percent thought it was immoral and mean and spiteful. The seventy-five percent won. "All right!" he said with a (emotional) grin. "Let's do it!"
They snuck into her room and found their sister snoring on the bed, rather content. Ed and Al pulled out a new pack of markers. "Let's do it," they agreed and started to turn Reina's face into that of a circus clown's. They had half of her face marked when she awoke with a start. First her face was confused, but then was enraged as she saw her reflection in Al's armor.
"You!-" she hissed at her brothers. "AAACK! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She sprang up and stuck her face inches away from Ed's. Reina glared knives, daggers, swords, and ninja throwing stars at her two brothers.
Both of them tried to hold it in, but they both ended up laughing. Their sister's normally creamy skin was now half hilarious. There was a green crescent moon and a red star in the curve of the moon on her cheek. Then underneath her eye was a gold triangle and above her golden eye was a purple triangle. And to finish it all off, her eyebrow was a rainbow. They were rolling on the floor in laughter but stopped when they saw she was truly going to kill them.
"Meep," they meeped and ran out the door, down the halls and into Jean Havoc. "Help us!" they whined.
"Why?" he asked quizzically. They pointed to the charging Reina, but instead of helping them, he helped her by holding down Ed and Al. Then the beating came...Poor Ed.
Reina slouched grumpily in her seat with her hair all over one side of her face. She had managed to wash none of the marker off. Kudos to Ed and Al for choosing the permanent kind. She was also muttering curses under her breath. Curses that we shouldn't repeat. Curses that made Al and Ed snicker silently.
"Are we there yet?" Alphonse asked hopefully. He hated it when Ed and Rei fought, mostly because he had to choose sides. And neither side was really good in most cases. And also because they fought over his support constantly, very constantly.
Roy Mustang was in an equally terrible mood. He just found out that he had he had to teach! Defense Against the Dark Arts? What did Dumbledore want from him? Next he was going to ask him to ask him to teach the mamba to first years! Well at least now he could keep an eye on the Elrics, hopefully. "No, Alphonse," Mustang growled while trying to keep his temper, "We are not there yet."
Ed put his head in his hands, thinking. Rei turned to face her brother, trying to strike up a conversation. "Whatcha thinking about?" He looked up, almost lazily.
"Oh?" he answered with a small sigh.
"You looked like you were thinking about something important," she explained.
Ed shrugged and sat back nonchalantly. "I dunno. I guess I'm nervous. We haven't been to school for a really long time," he sighed and stood up. "I guess I really wish that mom-We're here." The train lurched to a stop and Ed cut off.
"What were you going to say?" Al asked curiously. He, too, was interested in his sibling's intense focus.
"Nothing," he said flatly and stepped off the train. I wish that mom could be here shopping with us, and not Colonel Mustang.. Ed thought sadly. Al shrugged to Rei and followed. Then she and Mustang stepped off.
They had a very wide berth as they followed Mustang. The reason being that no one really wanted to mess with the strange group of people walking by. A black haired man and two blond teenagers were no big deal, but a huge man in a suit of armor? Strange and a problem that just wasn't worth it.
"Here we are." Mustang had stopped them in front of a grubby building. The paint was peeling, it was dirty and it smelled something awful. But the worst part yet was the way that everyone seemed to pass it right by. Almost as if it didn't exist.
"And where is here, exactly?" Ed groaned while raising his eyebrow, bad mood re-found. He crossed his arms in a grumpy manner and scowled darkly at his sister. She scowled right back, the many colors leaking through her hair. Ed quickly turned around and started to laugh silently.
"The Leaky Cauldron," Mustang answered flatly and walked in. The Elrics didn't notice him moving until he was already inside.
"Hey wait!" They ran in after him. The interior looked just as dirty as the exterior. They looked around for the Colonel, then Reina pointed to him seated at the bar talking to an old man.
As they got closer the man suddenly shouted, "Roy? Roy Mustang? Is that you?" Suddenly Mustang was surrounded by people, mostly ladies. Mostly very lovely ladies.
"Roy! By golly, it's been a while! A very long while," a blond woman exclaimed and gave him a big hug.
"How's life treating you?" a brunette asked while twirling her curly locks.
"Oh, Roy! You look just as good as you did in our school days!" a black-haired woman said shyly and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. The worst part was that Mustang seemed to actually enjoy it. Ed started to make retching noises and doubled over as if throwing up. This caused laughter among the Elrics, even Al. But they decided to take it a step further, well, at least the twins did.
"Oh Roy Mustang!" Ed exclaimed in a southern belle accent. "Why I do declah! My, my, my! Aren't you handsome as ever?" He then slapped Mustang lightly on the shoulder while pretending to fan himself.
"Roy!" Rei said in a more authentic-sounding southern belle accent. "Ooh! Aren't we the most de-lightful lookin' military man?"
All the fangirls squealed. "Military?" they all said at once. "Oooh!" Mustang had a look on his face that could scare the bejeezies out of the dead. "That makes you even sexier!" the brunette exclaimed and they all were hugging Mustang.
"I will kill you so slowly," he scowled at the Elrics.
Alphonse started to wave his hands frantically and shook his helmeted head very fast. "N-not me, Colonel! I wasn't doing anything!"
Ed glared at Al. "Traitor," he muttered.
Al shrugged and chuckled. "Sorry, brother, just protecting myself."
Reina rolled her eyes and put her hand on his shoulder, avoiding the spikes. "Sorry to break it to you, but you can't get hurt by him," she sighed. "Just so you know."
Roy Mustang had finally managed to get away from the fangirls and was heading towards the Elric twins. "You two are dead!" he hissed and started to pull his Flame Alchemist gloves on his hands. They backed away slowly, turned, and started to run but were caught on the collar from behind by the Colonel. "The flames are going to burn extra hot today," he said, remembering the incident with Barry and Riza.
"Don't hurt me! It was all Ed's idea!" Rei lied and pointed to her brother. She looked rather scared, while, compared to her brother, looked rather fearless.
"No way! It was all Reina!" Ed lied as well and pointed to his sister. They started to argue furiously, pointing at one another and gesturing towards Mustang and Alphonse.
The old bartender, Tom, cocked his head at Roy. "These your kids, Roy?" he asked curiously. The fangirls all sighed, if these brats were Roy's kids, then he was already married. Too bad, what a wasted opportunity.
"WE'RE NOT HIS KIDS!" both Rei and Ed shouted indignantly. They were about to jump over the bar to kill the old man, but were stopped by Mustang and Al. They struggled furiously and tried to regain their pride by destroying poor Tom.
"No, Tom, they're not. They're Hohenheim's kids. That's Reina Elric, the kid in the armor is Alphonse Elric, and the shorty is Edward Elric," Mustang said tiredly, annoyed at having to always introduce them.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HEIGHT DEPRIVED SHRIMP COMPLETE WITH COCKTAIL SAUCE?" Ed shouted indignantly. Everyone who hadn't seen an outburst of Elric before, took five huge steps back.
"No, Brother, not now," Al pleaded with Ed as he held him back. Ed was struggling and putting up a pretty good fight. Because Al had held him back so many times, he kind of built up an immunity to it.
"Really, Ed. Don't you remember what Hughes said? Heart attack sound familiar?" Suddenly Reina was swarmed by the same ladies that had attacked Mustang earlier.
"Ooooh! You know Maes?" the blond squealed.
"How does he look?" the brunette pleaded.
"Will you tell him Celia is still available?" the black-haired inquired.
"Shut up, all of you!" The vein in Ed's head pulsed. "He's already married and has a lovely daughter whom he never SHUTS UP ABOUT!"
The ladies looked hopefully to Rei who shrugged. "It's true. He never shuts up about Elysia, does he Al?"
"No, but she is adorable. Remember her birthday is the same as yours? We helped Mrs. Hughes with the baby until the doctor arrived. That was the time when you two were becoming State Alchemists and we stayed at T-" Al stopped and turned to his siblings. "I'm sorry," he murmured ever-so-quietly.
Ed looked at his brother and sister sadly. "It's okay," he said reassuringly. "We know you don't want to bring that up."
There was an awkward moment of silence until Mustang cleared his throat. "Yes. I think we should be going. Fullmetal, Rose, Al!" Then he ushered them out. He knew how awful they felt. Mustang also knew that Ed and Rei blamed themselves. They always blamed themselves for things that weren't even their fault, and Al knew that too. They stopped at a brick wall and stared at it silently.
"Ummm, Colonel?" If Al could show his facial expression, it would be confusion right now. "This is a dead end." His words snapped his siblings out of their gloom.
"Al's right! What is this, some kind of joke?" Ed was back to his usual moody self. Rei nodded in agreement, just as annoyed and moody.
Ignoring Ed, Mustang smirked and pulled out a long, thin, mahogany colored wand. "That's what you think." He started to tap the wall on various places and, eventually (He messed up a couple times), an arch appeared leading to a cobbled road. "Welcome to Diagon Alley." He held out his hand in a proud and happy way. It's just like I remembered it, Mustang thought sadly. We used to come here all the time, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus...and me.
"Big deal," Ed muttered as they walked on. "I could've just used Alchemy." He put his hands behind his head and acted unimpressed but everyone could see he was hooked on this thing called magic. And a Philosopher's Stone that they might find soon.
Mustang shook his head, his black bangs flying over his face. "Nope. Only works by magic." Then Mustang turned to Reina. "Read me your school supply list," he instructed. She nodded obediently.
Rei dug through her pocket. It took a couple minutes, but she finally pulled out a folded list. She unfolded it and read. "Uh sure...
UNIFORM
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)
Then there's just a bunch of books and supplies. And we need wands. Oooh! We can bring an animal! Yay!" Reina was ecstatic, she loved animals. Almost as much as Al loved cats. Almost.
Roy scratched his head and sighed heavily. This was going to be a long day, a very long day. "Guess we should get your money first," he said simply and led them to a great white building. Gringotts was written on the outside wall.
They went inside and Rei jumped on Al's back in surprise. "Eeek! What are those?" she asked while pointing to a very hurt looking goblin. The other goblins glared at her.
"Muggles," on of them muttered. "So annoying."
Roy walked on up to a open desk. "Goblins." He tapped the little bell on the table. Then he turned to the goblin that had come up behind the counter. "Withdraw from Roy Mustang and Hohenheim Elric," he sighed, as if waiting for something awful that was coming. Then again, something awful was coming.
"Do you have the keys?" The goblin looked bored, as if he said this all day. And he did, they just didn't know that yet. They all looked up at Roy who nodded and dug into his coat. He was dressed like a normal person, but Rei and Ed were in their normal attire. Ed in his black pants and shirt with the red jacket and the Flamel on the back. Rei in her black mini-skirt over her black jeans and her black tanktop covered by her red jacket, minus the Flamel. Instead on the back there was a cute kitty.
"Well, here's my key," Roy commented, "And the Elric's key is on Reina." He pointed to Reina who looked surprised. She pointed to herself and Mustang nodded, so she searched her person until she pulled out a silver key on a black cord.
"Wha? You mean this old thing?" Reina held up the cord with the key hanging off the end. She handed to Mustang. "So Daddy gives me a key for my birthday. I thought it was a necklace. Well at least that meant he trusts me more than tweedle dumb over there." Her thumb was pointing to Ed.
"HEY!" Ed was indignant. Well, not really. He didn't want anything to do with their stupid dad. Not a thing.
"Very well. Griphook!" The goblin called forth another goblin. "Vaults 200 and 201 please," he ordered and pointed to the door. They all followed Griphook.
"Right this way! Into the cart please. Err, sir in the armor. You may have to..." Griphook began uncertainly.
Al nodded and giggled, "Oh right, I'll just wait here." His siblings began to protest but he shook his helmet. "No, I'll stay here. I'll be fine!" he said cheerfully. So Ed and Rei gave in and left without him. But he caught Mustang by the arm and whispered, "Tell me how it goes." Mustang nodded shakily, his face pale for some reason.
"All right then," Griphook said professionally.
Ed grinned. "This is going to be so much - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He was cut off as the cart started on a wild rollercoaster ride. Rei joined in and they were screaming in terror as the looming darkness engulfed them.
They screamed the whole way, much to Mustang's delight. When the cart finally stopped at vault 200, Reina and Ed had passed out from shock. Mustang tried to shake them awake. They didn't wake up. In fact, they had stopped breathing.
"Edward...Reina...WAKE UP!" He snapped his fingers in a desperate attempt to rouse them.
"Huh? Are we dead?" Ed got up groggily. Then he noticed his shirt. "I'M ON FIRE!" He quickly put it out by patting his chest furiously, but the edges were burnt. He then clapped his hands and used Alchemy to restore it. "Idiot Mustang," he groaned.
"I think we're alive," Reina said uncertainly. She pinched Ed and he yelped. "Yep! We're alive," she said with a nod.
Griphook put the key in the lock. "Mr. Mustang...your vault." He handed Roy a money bag and opened the vault. The Elrics' eyes were wide with shock because Mustang had piles of gold, silver and bronze. After a few seconds, he came back into the cart. After he had squeezed himself next to Ed, he sighed and clutched his stomach.
"Holy...crud...Mustang," Ed breathed. "I...have...never...seen...so...much...gold...in...my...life." His mouth was literally hanging open.
Roy snickered. "If you think that was a lot, Fullmetal, wait until you see what your father left you." Ed frowned again at the mention of their father.
"I don't care," he muttered but closed his mouth immediately as they started up. Luckily their vault was the next one. Ed sighed with relief.
Griphook stepped out again. "Vault 201...Sir and Madam Elric." He handed them bags similar to Roy's and opened the vault with the key. Mustang had been right! The whole vault was filled with gold, silver, and bronze...almost three times as much Mustang had!
"The gold ones are Galleons, silver are Sickles, and the brown ones are Knuts. Seventeen Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle." He helped them fill their bags. "There! That should be enough for your supplies and a lot more. Let's go," he sighed in dread.
On the ride back Reina and Ed couldn't scream even if they wanted to. They had once again passed out. "Just like their dad," Mustang muttered under his breath once they had stopped, "He could never handle the carts and always passed out." They had rejoined with Al and were walking out of Gringotts.
"Better not let brother hear you say that," Al warned. "Anyways, we are going where, next?"
"Ollivanders," Mustang answered without any hesitation, "For your wands." Then he stopped talking and his face took on a green pallor. He clutched his stomach with one hand and used the other to cover his mouth.
"Sometimes I'm glad not to have a real body," Al sighed and crossed his arms. "Colonel Mustang are you okay?"
Instead of answering, Mustang ran to the nearest trash can.
Solar Hawk: Thanks for reading! I've decided to no longer answer reviews in my story, but if you have a question, I will respond. Thanks, you're all great!
(1) In the manga Barry tries to attack Riza, but she shoots her nice gun at him and he immediately falls in love with her, calling her "missy". He says he likes strong women! Anyways, Riza calls Mustang when she finds out that he was the murderer who was supposed to have been executed a while back. Oooh! Back on track, Mustang comes and sees Barry clinging to Riza, pulls on his gloves and states, "The flames are gonna burn extra hot tonight!" And is about to kill our lovable Chopper when Riza stops and explains. Interesting...
S.H.: Boredom...boredom...STUFF:
Let's see, I've not decided on an update schedule, but I'm going for Sundays. Longer chapters are up ahead, man!