Yay! More reviews! Thanks to all who reviewed! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Like I said before...Enjoy!
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Alas! Yet another lesson from Phantom of the Opera 101! See, this time I didn't put PotO 101, wait…doh! Oh, and a reminder, the disembodied clapping people…are taking a break in this chapter (aw…) But instead, here is the disembodied whistling! (Yay!)
Can of beets: Welcome children, to class. Erik unfortunately cannot teach today, so I will take his place.
Elvin: But you're a stinkin' can of stinkin' beets! You shouldn't be teaching! You shouldn't even be talking!
Elizabeth: Wait…the can of beets sounds a lot like our teacher…
Edith: No it doesn't. It's a can of beets! It can't sound like anything!
Can of beets: …
Elvin: Why are you so quiet now beets? Huh? Huh? HUH?
Eric: Shut up!
Masked munchkin: What are you babbling about now, boy?
Elroy: Dude! I didn't know that munchkins could talk!
Elissa: Of course they can, you dolt. But notice that his mouth isn't even moving!
There was a brief silence among the children. And as always, Eric was the one to say the correct answer.
Eric: Can't you see? This is all the authoresses doing.
Elizabeth: No it isn't…
All the children, except for Eric and Elizabeth, gasped. Because Eric was…wrong!
Elizabeth: It's ventriloquisium.
Edith: You mean 'ventriloquism'.
Elizabeth: Yeah, that.
Elvin ran up to the masked munchkin, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him in a rage. He shook him so much that the masked munchkin's wig and mask fell off. Erik appeared from a dimly lit corner of the warehouse. The children however, didn't notice because they were watching the show that Elvin was the star of.
Elizabeth: (to Elissa) Your brother REALLY needs therapy…
Elissa:…They said that they can't do much anymore…
Erik: May I ask why you are harassing my assistant?
Elvin just glared at Erik and looked back at the munchkin who gave a small wave at him. Elvin pushed the munchkin away from him, like if he was infected with a disease. The munchkin thought nothing of the rude gesture, used to it by Erik's bad temper. He picked himself up, and got the mask and wig and put them on his face.
Erik: Now without anymore interruptions, let's-
Elroy: Wait! Did you hear the talking can of beets? It sounds just like you!
Eric: Ugh…not THIS again…
Erik: No…I haven't.
Erik had a smirk on his face while Elroy tried to make the can of beets talk again.
Elroy: C'mon, you stupid can of beets! Talk! You know you want to…
He was shaking the can of beets in frustration. Elizabeth and Elissa started giggling and Elvin just rolled his eyes.
Erik: I think that is enough of that…
Elroy: No wait! The beets can talk…really!
Elizabeth: The can of beets wasn't talking. He was just using ventriloquisiusm!
Edith: It's pronounced –ven-tril-o-quism-!
Elizabeth: Whatever.
Erik: As I was saying…let's get back to the lesson. Today you are going to learn ventriloquism.
(Disembodied whistling)
Elvin: (sarcastically) Oh joy! Oh rapture! Oh…I'm going to puke.
Elissa: (looks around) You know…that disembodied whistling is kinda creepy.
Erik's disembodied voice: VENTRILOQUISM! WE WILL LEARN IT NOW!
Since the art of ventriloquism is a secret art, and because the authoress can't think of anything at the moment, let's fast-forward………………..
Erik: Okay Elizabeth, throw your voice over to the can of beets.
Elizabeth nodded and closed her eyes, thinking of what to say.
Can of beets: Eat me! I am so delicious…and Elroy is a moron for thinking that I can actually talk!
While Erik was teaching the ventriloquism lesson, Elroy wasn't paying attention…like always.
Elroy: Ah! It knows my name! And it still talks!
Erik: That was good…and great usage of insults.
Erik: Elissa, would you like to give it a go?
She nodded and looked for a good object to use. Since it was a prop warehouse, there were mannequins (Erik made sure none of them looked like Christine), gigantic animal suits of famous cartoon characters, a 50-foot tall Santa poster and lots of other…theatre stuff…
Elissa: I think I will practice on that dummy over there…
She pointed at Elroy, who was oblivious to everything that was going on, and who was also just staring out in the blank vortex of space.
Elissa (or should I say Elroy): Hi everybody! I'm so gosh darn stew-pid…that I think that a can of beets can talk.
Edith's disembodied voice: Hey Elroy….Guess who this is…?
Elroy finally snapped out of his zone-out. He frantically looked around the large warehouse. Saying random "Who's there?" and "I like soup!"
Edith's disembodied voice: I am the can of beets friend…the Spirit of Broccoli!
Elizabeth: Oh…you mean the Angel of Broccoli?
Edith's disembodied voice: No! I am the Spirit of Broccoli!
Elroy: H…how do you know my name?
Edith's disembodied voice: Fool! I know everything! (Evil laughter)
Elroy: Um…did I mention that I like soup? Oo
Elvin was listening to the conversation and wanted to join in on the insult-Elroy fun. But the poor boy only talked regularly, thinking that he was an expert at ventriloquism.
Elvin: Hey Elroy! Look at the master of ventriloquism!
Eric: Ha…right…And I'm the Easter Bunny.
Elroy: You are? Then why did you give me a rotten egg five years ago?
He takes out an Easter egg, that looked like it was festively painted, but now that color was green-gray, the color of mold! And it's stench…so…un…bearable! Can't….even….write!
Erik: (in a muffled voice because he is covering his nose) Children! Class is dismissed because of the contaminated egg! I (cough) shall see (cough) you all (cough) next week!
Before the children left, the masked munchkin returned again, except this time with a gas mask, and handed each of the children a half white mask of their very own! They accepted it and ran out, except for Elroy who wasn't bothered by the smell at all, gasping for breath.
Elroy: Hey! (Sniffs the air) That smells like my mother's cooking!
Erik's disembodied voice: GO NOW! AND TAKE THAT…THAT EGG WITH YOU!
Elroy: Geez…you don't have to be all mad about it…see ya later can of beets!
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Please review! Thanks for reading!