Greetings! This is the final chapter. Allow me to reiterate: FINAL CHAPTER.
It is longish. Yay, longish!
For security purposes, I have been asked to keep the email addresses of various persons involved unannounced. That, and the document manager wouldn't let me put them in. So here we are.
Enough talk!
Please enjoy.
Roll it, Louie!
'To: "Foaly" "Holly"
From: "Libby"
Date: Monday, March 21
Subject: Wednesday Night
Hello, all.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to meet each other at Café de Titha at 7 o'clock. The reservation is under "Foaly Short." (I thought you'd appreciate it.)
Moderately-swanky place. Shirt required (hint hint), pants for quadrupeds optional. (Also thought you'd appreciate it.)
You'll be all on your lonesome, since I've got a shuttle to catch on Wednesday. Tell me how it goes, kids!
-From the Desk of the Almighty Libby White'
'To: "Libby" "Holly"
From: "Foaly"
Date: Monday, March 21
Subject: Re: Wednesday Night
Libby: You'd better run, because when I find you I'm gonna cut you open like a fish and paint the walls of my living room with your blood and hang you from a tree and let some mud man find your rotting corpse hanging from a tree and make some half-assed horror movie with it. Then I'm gonna get a physic to call up your ghost so that I can beat you with an ectoplasm-covered stick! Try setting me up like that again!
Holly: Hey, can't wait till Wednesday! Sounds like fun; it'll be good to catch up on stuff. How are you?
-His High Brilliantness, Foaly the Centaur'
'To: "Foaly"
From: "Libby"
Date: Monday, March 21
Subject: Re: Re: Wednesday Night
Love you, too.
If you didn't want me involved, you shouldn't have asked for my help. So there.
Nyah.
-From the Desk of the Almighty Libby White'
'To: "Libby"
From: "Foaly"
Date: Monday, March 21
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Wednesday Night
…shut up.
-His High Brilliantness, Foaly the Centaur'
'To: "Foaly" "Libby"
From: "Holly"
Date: Monday, March 21
Subject: Re: Wednesday Night
Foaly: Yeah, Wednesday's gonna be a blast. I wanna hear all about Sool and his reign of terror. Have you tried the old bucket-filled-with-glue-over-the-door-frame gag? Huge yuks, every time. I'm doing pretty well. You? Save me some of Libby's blood…
Libby: I am ashamed to say that I do not have a more murderous rant than Foaly. Suffice it to say, however, that I second the motion.
-Holly Short'
Café de Titha is a semi-small restaurant just on the outskirts of uptown Haven, located on lovely Creek Street. The wide avenues and lamp-lit streets are vaguely reminiscent of Paris, and it is a convenient three blocks away from the Whik Plaza subway stop.
It is a relatively busy establishment, slightly brighter than the traditional candle-lit restaurant. The brick façade is a warm and rustic touch, as are the outside tables for patrons wishing to people watch. Owned and operated by the lovely Mrs. Anna Mark-Fjordson, the establishment has been in business for about 780 years.
So it's still relatively new.
A youngish female elf waited outside the restaurant, looking left, then right…then left, right, and up, for whatever reason. The time was 7:02 PM, and she was wondering where her date was. She would wait a few more minutes. Fidgeting with the only skirt she owned, she paced two steps and looked left again.
At 7:01, a subway train came to a halt at the Whik Plaza stop. A highly agitated centaur quickly escaped from the metal clutches of the train and hurried up the steps to the surface in a surprisingly fast thirteen seconds, for someone who partook in little exercise.
Mentally cursing the tie around his throat that was slightly choking, he moved along at a fairly brisk trot, holding his tin-foil helmet on gingerly. (He was wearing it just in case females could read minds, as satellites do. No sense in taking that risk.)
Settling back into her seat in the relative comfort of the shuttle to the surface world, a young female elf grinned as she gazed down into the murky depths of her soda.
Patting herself on the back for a job well done, she took a sip of her drink and closed her eyes, dozing off in her plans for her vacation.
At 7:04, the female elf in front of Café de Titha looked to the right and watched her date round the corner. She smiled slightly as she saw his open-mouthed stare.
"You're late," she said wryly, smirking.
"I don't control the subway system," he replied, never taking his eyes off of her as he came closer.
"No excuse! You ought to have booked out faster."
"Everyone was staring at me since I had a tie on! They kept pulling me over, saying, 'Hey Foaly, whuzzat thing on your neck?'" He was now close enough that she could smell the cologne he had put on.
"I believe that," the female said, rolling her eyes.
"You should!"
"Okay, Lord of the Excuses, let's go."
He held out his elbow chivalrously, and she took in, leading him into the restaurant.
"And so Sool's looking at the new kid, doing that whole narrow-eyed, raised eyebrow thing, and he looks like he's about to just whip out his cane and whack the guy, when the intern pipes up outta nowhere and says, 'What's the difference between the goldenrod folders and the mustard-yellow folders?'"
"Ooh, never a good question," Holly said, wrinkling her nose and smiling.
"Yeah, but it at least got Sool's attention away from the new guy. The intern who came to the rescue was sent to be reprimanded by Zach Jacobson-"
"Zach 'the File-Cabinet' Jacobson?"
"The same. Anyway, File-Cabinet explained the whole yellow thing and the intern was practically given a medal of honor for Courageous Rescue in the Face of Danger."
"That's right…interns are being let into the UUAACWJ 1 now, hmm?"
"Yeah…they seem to like the whole 'Mission Impossible' feeling it gives 'em," Foaly said with a shrug, sipping at his carrot juice.
"I almost miss working there. I'm out of the loop!"
"And we miss you."
The city was settling down for the night. Café de Titha's floors were swept and the lights were being turned off as the "Open" sign was flipped.
Two fairies gazed across the street at it.
"I can't believe we actually got kicked out," Foaly finally said, grinning.
"Yeah, by the proprietor herself. I kind of find it hard to believe that we're the most insufferable people she's ever had in her establishment," Holly said, starting to walk down the avenue.
"You'd think she's never had two people ranting about politics for hours in there before," Foaly replied, joining her.
"You will notice, however, that she did not tell us to never come back."
"This is true."
The two fairies strolled down the street, quietly talking. The clock on the façade of a building proudly boasted the time: 12:26 AM.
As they approached the Whik Plaza stop, the conversation slowly ground to a halt.
They bought their tickets in silence. Neither of them looked at the map, since they had each to Whik Plaza at least twice before.
Standing in front of the pass card station, bathed in the glow of the bright, fluorescent lights, they spoke again.
"I had a great time tonight," Holly said softly, smiling.
"Yeah, me too," the centaur replied, mentally whacking himself for having nothing more suave to say.
"We should do this again."
There was a brief silence.
"Really? I mean, I'd like to, but I didn't think you'd want to…" Foaly was pretty shocked. Most of his dates gave up after the first date, and had no further interest.
"What, and pass up the chance to have a genius buy me dinner?" Holly quipped. Becoming serious, she said, "Yes. I'd like to have dinner with you."
"Okay then," Foaly said, smiling, "it's a date."
Holly raised an eyebrow at the inadvertent pun, and Foaly looked incredulous.
"Did I actually say that? Ow. I didn't realize how awful that sounded," Foaly said, staring off into space. "I swear it sounded better in my head. Quick, erase that statement from your mind. Terrible pun. Ow. Bad genius, bad!"
Holly, by this time, had cracked up. "Don't…worry," she gasped, "I forgive you!"
"Let me rephrase that. I would like to have dinner with you again."
"Good. How's next Friday?"
Foaly pretended to think. "Hmm…taking into account the work I usually have to puzzle over, the demands of my notoriously busy social life, and the hours of sleep I receive, you end up at a resounding…yes, that should be fine."
"All right. And next time, I expect some sort of technological rant…"
"I was restraining myself for your benefit."
"Were you trying to impress me?"
"Er…depends. Were you impressed?"
"Yes."
"Then yes, yes I was."
Holly smiled. "I am very honored." Leaning over and up slightly, she planted a quick kiss on the centaur's cheek.
A faint rumbling, as if it was sort of far away, was heard.
"That would be my train," Holly said softly. The blushing centaur, not trusting his mouth, nodded silently.
"I'll email you about next Friday, then?" she said, smiling hugely at Foaly's dazed expression.
"Okay," he finally croaked, and she took off, quickly swiping her pass card through the gate and hurrying to catch the train, which, as timing would have it, started pulling in just as she stopped.
Waving slightly at her date from the inside of the train, she watched as his face broke into a grin.
As she finally settled down in her hotel room in Euro Disney, Paris (Venice having been a bit of a bust), Livithia Wilde looked up as her cell phone rang. Pressing a few buttons rapidly, she found that she had an email that had been forwarded waiting for her. Grinning, she opened it.
'To: "Libby"
From: "Foaly"
Date: Thursday, March 24
Subject: Pardon
Dear Ms. White,
In light of recent events, the previous bounty on your head has been revoked. Your work, while desperately annoying, was much appreciated and you have therefore been commended for it. You have done the world at large a great service.
Have a cookie.
Enjoy the rest of your vacation,
A Very Pleased Centaur'
Livithia typed off a quick response.
'To: "Foaly"
From: "Libby"
Date: Thursday, March 24
Subject: Re: Pardon
Yer welcome.
-From the Desk of the Almighty Libby White'
Taa daa! The last chapter!
Thanks for reading. Please review on your way out!
1 UUAACWJ Under-Underground Alliance Against Cane-Wielding Jerks
Until next time, this is Semine, signing off!