Disclaimer: SAME AS ALWAYS! (This should be sung loudly in an operatic style)

Author's Note: We all have addictions. We all have problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. (This should be sung like some 60's peace-movement song)

Chapter Ten

Limbs In Odd Places

THE NICE HOTEL

The group went to their rooms, only to find out that they couldn't get in. Shopping bags were everywhere and, if they listened hard enough, muffled shouting could be heard.

"Never again!"

"It wasn't that bad!"

"It was horrible! Thirty stores! At least a hundred bags!"

"Two of those bags are yours."

This was followed by a scream of rage and the sound of something hitting the floor. The bags and boxes shifted, allowing Hiei to squeeze through. "What the hell?"

Sara, who was searching through her coat, pulled out her hotel key and opened the door. "Legolas decided to go shopping."

"You came with," Legolas said, opening his door. Boxes and bags filtered into the two rooms.

"First of all, you made me come. Second of all…" She couldn't finish. She made a noise, somewhere between a whine and a growl and quickly shut her door.

Jake took Legolas by the arm and led him into their room, wading through Legolas' many purchases. "Sweetheart, I think you have a problem."

"I do not! I can stop anytime I want to," Legolas said defiantly.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can!" Legolas took his wallet and threw it for dramatic effect.

Jake retrieved it and took one of his husband's Visa cards. He grabbed a pair of scissors. "Should I cut?"

Legolas set his mouth in a grim line, but his eyes were panicked.

"Okay, then." Jake started to cut through the card.

"NOOO!" Legolas shouted, lunging for the nicked card and rolling onto the bed. "Ha ha!" he proclaimed, lovingly putting the card back into his wallet.

"Like I said, you have a problem."

W/ ARAGORN

Aragorn got to the hotel and ran up the stairs to his room. He stopped when he saw the overflow of expensive shipping bags. "Legolas is home," he muttered to himself, moving as fast as the bags would allow to his door. "I hope Faythe is, too."

He went inside and the twins were sleeping soundly in their cribs. Faythe was drinking tequila and singing. She was so wasted, sad, and absorbed in the song that she never noticed he was there.

"Hey," he said, and she jumped.

"Aragorn!" She threw herself at him and cried. "I thought you'd never come back, I thought you hated me! I'm shorry I was sho shtupid."

"Someone's a little snoshed tonight, eh?"

Faythe ignored his sarcasm, thankful just to have him back. "I shwear, if you come back I'll never drink again. I'll shtop right now." She knocked the tequila off the table. "Shee? I can shtop anytime I want to."

Aragorn chuckled. "C'mon. Let's go to bed."

THE NEXSHT MORNING

"Coffee won't help with a hangover," Kurama said, handing Faythe a bowl of assorted ground-up roots. Sara had added something, but she wouldn't say what.

"Are you guys sure this is safe?" Faythe asked when she poured the mixture into a cup of hot water. She grimaced when it started to bubble and turned blue. "I don't trust blue plants."

Aragorn looked at the stuff. "What does it do?"

"It's poison. She's going to die."

"Sara, that isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing."

"Sara…"

Sara sighed. "Trust me. Nothing bad will happen."

Faythe sipped the stuff. "Not bad…"

"Told you." Kurama and Sara walked back to their rooms.

KURAMA AND TARO'S ROOM

"'Morning, sweetie," Kurama said, sitting down on the bed.

"Good morning," Taro answered groggily.

"What's the matter? You aren't your normal, chipper self."

"I'm never chipper."

"I was making a point."

Taro sighed. "I didn't sleep well."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Taro stood up and stretched. Putting on a shirt, he said, "Let's go get some breakfast. I'm starving."

Kurama frowned, but followed him out of the room.

FAYTHE AND ARAGORN

They had just gotten the twins dressed when Sara stormed into the room, tail swishing angrily. "I just talked to Taro in the hall."

Faythe smiled. "How is he?"

"His feelings are hurt." She glared at Aragorn. "You need to apologize."

"I'm the King! I don't need to apologize to anyone!"

Sara was at a loss for a moment. She looked at Faythe, who rolled her eyes.

"You aren't our King, Aragorn."

"Well, I should be! Bow down to me, cretin!"

Sara just raised an eyebrow. Faythe hit Aragorn on the head.

Aragorn blinked. "Sorry. Stereotypical King-like moment."

"Right…"

BREAKFAST

"You have to love these continental things," Hiei said, looking at the doughnuts in front of him.

Faythe smiled and put one on her plate. "I know! Aren't they great?"

"I was being sarcastic."

Faythe gave him a look that clearly said she didn't care. She turned to Sara. "Aren't you going to have one?"

Sara glared at her. "I don't do doughnuts." She grabbed a lot of fruit.

Faythe wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Fruit's gross."

"At least fruit doesn't go straight to your hips."

Faythe subconsciously slid her free hand to her side. "What's wrong with my hips?"

Aragorn intervened. "Nothing, sweetheart. Let's go eat." They left and sat down.

"You know," Hiei said, "for such an odd couple, they're sweet together."

Everyone stared at him, shocked.

"Not that I care or anything," Hiei said quickly.

"Hiei has a soft spot!"

"Shut up, Jake."

"You do!"

Hiei just growled. Jake quickly ate his doughnut. Legolas glared at Hiei, but Hiei ignored him.

Sara and Taro were feeding demonic cookies to the twins.

"Don't worry. It won't hurt them. Much…"

Hiei rolled his eyes. "You really shouldn't be doing that. You know what happens if you don't eat them fast enough."

Sara pouted but waved the cookies back to the Makai. "You're no fun."

"My apologies," Hiei said sarcastically.

"Hey, hey," Legolas put in, "no arguing at breakfast."

"He started it."

"No, I didn't!"

"Enough! Let's go eat."

AT THE TABLE

Faythe and Aragorn had picked out a big table that everyone would fit at. Faythe had already eaten her doughnut plus half of Aragorn's. She wisely didn't comment on Sara's breakfast anymore. "Legolas, was it necessary for you to break the bank at Sakk's Fifth Avenue last night?" she asked.

Legolas clucked his tongue. "Faythe, you should know there's no Sakk's in Egypt. I shopped everywhere else, though." He was proving it, too, by wearing an equally ridiculous get-up from yesterdays. It seemed the leather tunic was a thing of the past.

Sara rolled her eyes. She sniffed and detected liquor underlying the smell of coffee. "Who's drinking?" she asked shrewdly.

Faythe put her hand defensively over her coffee. "Not me."

Sara gave her a dirty look but didn't say anything. Faythe sighed in relief.

"Taro, aren't you going to eat your waffle?" Jake asked.

"I'm not hungry," Taro said, poking the waffle with his fork.

Sara glared at Aragorn, who glared right back. He was King, dammit! Aragorn son of Arathorn, King of Men, did not apologize to anyone! Except Faythe…

Faythe was checking the twins, trying to figure out why Legolas and Hiei kept looking at them.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing."

Seeing as how they hadn't sprouted wings or other limbs in odd places, Hiei assumed they were all right.