Ah, bashing. What would the fanfiction world be without it?

Besides immeasurably better, I mean.

Ash and MaySUCKS! Love

By a very, very tired of this Farla

-

Misty trailed along beside the group. For no real reason, she'd decided to go back to see Ash, or maybe she'd just spontaneously appeared – she wasn't too clear on the 'why' part, but she figured it didn't matter.

She was, however, very clear on how she was supposed to be feeling. Dismal. She watched as May flirted shamelessly with Ash, who obviously must have preferred May despite the desperate looks he kept shooting her.

Misty's brow furrowed. That was odd. Suddenly she could see two Mays, one draped over Ash in revealing attire, stealing his love from Misty, and the other flirting with Brock instead of realizing how lucky she was to have Ash. And…there seemed to be a third one making out with James over there and promising to steal Ash's pikachu for him, and one having a foursome over in the corner with Surge, Giovanni and her little brother, and another one…

Well, Misty thought, exactly what May was doing didn't really matter, because whatever it was, she was definitely a slut.

The rational part of Misty's mind attempted to point out that the girl was ten, for Christ's sake, but only wound up being screamed into silence by the rest of her brain about how that only made May being a filthy slut worse. The rational part shrugged and went back to sleep.

After an unknown period of time, Ash decided to stop and camp. Or maybe they had been stopped and camped already, Misty wasn't sure. What she was sure of was that for some reason she'd just walked around a corner and seen May kissing Ash.

Misty ignored Ash's shocked expression and the fact his hands were by his sides, as if May had only just done this rather than it being mutual. Obviously he'd chosen May.

Misty burst into loud, noisy tears. After a moment of this she ran off, making sure to kick Ash on the way so he'd notice.

Before long Ash caught up with her/found her sitting and sobbing somewhere (it really didn't matter). "Oh Misty," he said, shoving the still-clinging May off of him. "I hate May so much she makes me want to puke. She's so stupid she used a torchic against an azurill – which, if you think about it, is sort of the same position you'd be in if you were up against a grass type since you've only got water types – and she's a slut and doesn't know anything, not that I did when I started either, in fact I actually did a lot of stupider stuff, but still. Please, Misty, will you marry me?"

"Oh Ash," Misty said, oblivious to the fact they were under the legal age for marriage, "of course."

May growled but couldn't do anything against the power of their true love, which suddenly made her turn into a puff of sulfurous smoke. Because she was really a demon put there to challenge Ash and Misty's soulmate bond, of course.

And Ash and Misty lived happily ever after and had many little children who all looked exactly like them, except for Sue, the silver haired, golden eyed girl born a few weeks after Ash returned from a year of training alone in Johto.