Author's Note: When are we going to introduce a new character, you ask? Why, in about five paragraphs, as a matter of fact! Enjoy.

Chapter Seventeen

Haldir the Chicken

3 HOURS LATER…

The bus was a rockin' good time. Although it was yellow and had "Cairo Public Schools" printed on the side, it was a good ride and had room for all.

Faythe grinned. "Group song! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves/Everybody's nerves/Everybody's nerves/I know a song-"

"SHUT UP!" Sara yelled. "You are getting on my nerves!"

Faythe grinned wider. "Exactly."

Sara looked like she wanted to hit Faythe, but she withheld the urge. Hitting Faythe would not be the greatest thing to do while holding Vincent.

"I thought you hated kids," Taro said, looking at Vincent.

"Do you see him requiring any attention? No. Therefore, I like him. Constant attention isn't my thing."

Jake smiled at Hiei. "There you go. No mini Hiei's."

It was then that Legolas spoke up.

"Guys…I think we might be lost…"

Everyone was quiet as that sank in.

"What!" Faythe finally asked. She wasn't on the verge of panic yet. "We were driving in a straight line! It isn't that far to Kenya from Cairo!"

"That's beside the point," Legolas said.

"That was the point!"

"Legolas…" Taro said quietly. "Why are you still driving if we're lost?"

Legolas smiled. "Because we can!"

"Pull over! Now!" Sara demanded. She'd covered Vinnie's ears before she shouted.

"Where's the map?" Aragorn asked Legolas.

"Umm…what map?" Legolas replied.

Faythe rolled her eyes and got on the laptop. "This is insane," she muttered.

"This whole trip has been insane," Kurama said. "It will probably continue to be insane."

"Probably? It's a guarantee!" Faythe exclaimed, typing rapidly, searching Google for a map.

Taro was looking at the laptop from over her shoulder. "A map won't help if we don't know where we are…"

Faythe gave him a dirty look before clicking a link. "Found one!" She pointed to the screen. "We're right there."

The others looked at her skeptically and she smiled. "Trust me."

Sara sighed. "If I had a dollar for every time you said that and something went wrong."

Taro glared at her. "That isn't nice."

Sara gave him a look that clearly said she didn't care.

Faythe, being the mediator of the group, quickly interrupted. "Legolas, turn around. We went the wrong way."

Legolas nodded and turned the bus around.

It was calm for about five minutes.

BAM

"Oh my God! We hit something!" Legolas shrieked. The bus skidded to a stop.

"It was probably an oliphaunt…" Taro said quietly, looking out the back window.

"Don't be ridiculous," Hiei said as he got off the bus. "We'd know if we hit an elephant."

"You're a bad example!" Sara told Aragorn as she followed Hiei. "Teaching him incorrect words and what not. For shame!"

"We probably just blew a tire!" Jake shouted after them.

"Then we have a problem," Faythe said. "I told Sara we should have grabbed a spare…"

Aragorn smiled. "I'm sure she thought of that and took one."

"Don't count on it!" came the reply the back.

Aragorn ignored her and went outside to see what was wrong. He stopped dead when he saw who was dangling from the grill of the bus—Haldir. "Valar! What happened? Why did you cross the road?"

Haldir opened an eye and smiled weakly. "To get to the other side." (ba-dup ching!)

Faythe ran out of the bus. "Haldir! Long time no see! You look…like road kill. What're you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to visit?" He unattached himself from the grill and stood up, stretching. As was usual with Elves in situations where they'd be dirty, he was as good as new. There's some gene in Elves that keeps them clean, no matter what happens. It's so annoying! Think about it; you're in the middle of a terrible storm, and you're trapped outside in it with an Elf. The wind and rain are blowing your hair every which way and totally soaking it, and when you finally get inside, the Elf is spotless. We must admit, it drives us crazy!

But we digress.

Legolas came barreling out and hugged Haldir. Haldir hugged him back stiffly. "Darling! How did you find us?"

"Galadriel has a tracking device on that one," Haldir replied, pointing to Faythe.

"Why?" Faythe asked.

Haldir just smiled.

"You're a trouble maker," Sara said, looking down at Haldir. She kicked him, causing him to groan.

"Sara!" Faythe scolded.

"What do you want me to do? Heal him?"

"That would be nice."

Sara snorted and turned away. "I'm not going to heal him. Find someone else."

Faythe sniffled.

"No."

"Please?" Oh God, not The Look.

"Fine!" Sara shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Although, he shouldn't have been walking there in the first place. He shouldn't even be in Africa."

"What are you doing in Africa, anyway?" Aragorn asked, more than a little shaken up.

Once again, Haldir smiled. "Following you."

"Why?"

Haldir shrugged. Why, indeed. He had no reason to follow them. "Galadriel asked me to."

"Wonderful," Sara muttered. "It isn't enough that we have humans after us. Now, we have Elves! What's next? Demons? What about an angel? Haven't seen one of those in a while!"

"Sara…" Taro said, "Calm down."

Hiei had a faster method. He hit her right across the face.

Sara stopped and stared at him.

Haldir spoke up. "I feel better now!"

No one paid him any heed.

"That was mean," Sara told Hiei before turning to Haldir. "I don't think I saved him…"

"I said I was fine," Haldir said.

"Strap the body to the top of the bus. We'll bury it in the desert," Jake said.

"I'm fine!" Haldir shouted. Shouting was rare for him. Those who knew him; Faythe, Aragorn, and Legolas; stared blankly. Something was wrong here.

Jake sighed. "Whatever." He went back on the bus.

Legolas looked at Haldir quizzically. "What's up with you? You're not yourself."

"I apologize. It has been a long trip." Haldir smiled. "Shall we leave now?"

"No one said you were coming with us," Sara said.

Haldir ignored her and got on the bus. "I'm going to enjoy a rest," he said as he sat down.

Faythe and Aragorn followed him. Taro got on next while Sara and Hiei checked the bus for damage.