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---------I could have------------

I sat by her bed side for hours that day, stroking her hand, brushing the hair from her face, talking to her. She was unconscious I know, but I was sure she could still hear me.

I began singing to her…the song, I know was cheesy, I mean of course it was, that muggle lady Madonna something or the other sang it…I remember hearing it once or twice, ok about 10 times, on Holiday…Crazy for you I think it was.

"I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that

I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you…"

I sang and sang, I didn't care if this was the corniest muggle song of all time, I didn't care if I sounded like a drugged donkey, I just thought that maybe…if she could really hear me, that she might…start to realise that I love her more than air.

It was no use…if anything my singing had killed her, because she was less alive then ever at the moment, her breathing was hushed and her hand was growing cold. I cried…I cried so much that I had to take off my glasses because they were now completely steamed up.

"Lily…Lily wake up, please wake up Lily…I love you" I closed my eyes and held her hand to my mouth. I kissed her gently and rubbed her fingers in an attempt to keep them warm.

"Don't worry dear, she'll be as right as rain in no time" Pomphrey said, though her eyes told me a completely different story.

"But Madame what if she isn't? What if she stays like this forever?"

"I'm sure she wont Mr Potter, Professor Dumbledore is already on the case of writing to the muggle hospitals and chemists in search for urgent medical attention for Miss Evans" I nodded. I wasn't actually taking any of this in. I didn't care about anything but Lily being cured, I didn't want to know about what was being done…I wanted to know why it was taking so long to be done.

"Who knows she's here?" I asked not looking away from my angels face.

"I'm not sure Mr Potter but I should think Professor McGonagall has informed her class mates"

"No, she couldn't have…if she had they would all be here right now" I suddenly felt a swarm of anger fill me, why wasn't anybody here? Why didn't anyone want to know how she was?

Wait…I was just being paranoid, I'm sure there was some valid reason…I was sure of it. I was just being too protective…maybe I needed to have a sleep…but I didn't want to leave Lily by herself. My head began to hurt so much as I continued arguing with myself.

"James!" I saw Sirius running towards us. I knew he hadn't forgotten, I told you didn't I? Anyway, moving on.

"Finally, she's only been in a coma for about 4 hours now!" I said with my best evil eyes.

"Seriously Prongs mate we had no idea, we've only just been let out of a whole class detention, we came straight here I promise" He said stopping at her bedside.

Remus, Peter and Alice and Melissa also joined him.

Melissa looked at me with a blank expression and I quickly turned to look at Lily again.

"So how longs she been out cold for?" Remus asked, stroking her cheek, which by the way made me just the teensiest bit angry…not jealous…just angry.

"'Bout 4 and half hours or so" I said cupping her hand in mine.

"She looks so peaceful" Alice said wiping a tear from her eye, "Can she feel anything?"

"I don't think so…I hope not" I said, now paranoid that she might be in pain.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure she isn't" Remus said hurriedly.

We stood in silence for a while saying nothing when Melissa broke the silence.

"Look I'm sorry Lily but I'm starved, I'm going to the great hall to get something to eat I'll see you guys later" She said giving me a cold look before sweeping away.

"She's right you know, we should get something to eat, you coming James?"

"Nah I'm not hungry, I'll stay here"

"Ok then but you need to eat something, come on Sirius"

"You're alright mate I think I'll stay here as well" I looked at Sirius evilly, why did he want to stay? We didn't need him…wow I just sounded sooo sketsophrenic just then.

"Well then, are you coming you two?" He asked Peter and Alice. She looked at her friend one last time before nodding slightly and leading the way out of the ward.

Me and Sirius remained silent for a while; we were both staring intently at Lily's also silent figure. Though I was the only one holding her hand, I think Sirius was a bit scared by the look on my face to even touch her.

"So…how are you feeling Prongs mate?"

I looked up at him with a blank expression.

"I'm fine, it's just Lily I'm worried about"

"I know…I'm worried about her too"

"Sure you are" I mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all" I said icily.

"Look James mate what exactly is your problem?"

"I see the way you look at her Padfoot; I know you like her so don't bother trying to hide it"

He looked rather taken back by this comment and a red flushed his cheeks.

"Look James I'm not going to hide it, I like her yeah…but it isn't going to get in between our friendship right?"

"Actually you're wrong, because…Lily's my girlfriend and I don't want you to take her away from me"

If he wasn't astonished before he sure was now. He took a step back, an incredulous look spread on his face.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah…seriously" I bit my tongue back before I could cause anymore damage, I suddenly dreaded Lily waking to find I had spread a rumour that we were dating.

But then again…it was done I couldn't take it back now…

Sirius decided to leave after that, he quickly said a small goodbye to Lily and without even bothering to say bye to me he left.

I had really put my foot in it this time hadn't I? When she wakes she would never talk to me again would she? I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life aren't I?

So many questions…so few brain cells to answer them with.

I was so consumed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the distressed Lily lying next to me, a flash of her red silky hair caught my eye and I jolted my head in her direction. She was now having some sort of fit. She was foaming at the mouth and had suddenly gone rigid.

"Help…HELP!" I bellowed, trying my hardest to comfort her in her distress. I rubbed her hands franticly and steadied her arm.

Madame Pomphrey hurried over and shoved me gently out of the way.

"Oh my goodness she's fitting, Stay calm Poppy you know what to do…damn it my mind's gone blank"

"Help her!" I screamed tears streaming down my cheeks, "PLEASE HELP HER!" I was making such an awful noise that Madame Pomphrey had to get one of the few teachers in the Infirmary to comfort me. Professor Sprout, who had momentarily before hand been discussing ingredients for healing potions with the nurse, grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the scene. She hushed me as I cried out in anguish to the love of my life who was now shrinking to just a small red speck as I was dragged away from the hospital wing.

"No, NO GET OFF ME LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT TO BE WITH HER!" I screeched attempting to loosen the grip the Herbology teacher had on my arm.

"No Mr Potter, I think it's better if you stay out here for a while, it's getting all a bit too hectic in there"

"I don't CARE god dammit WOMAN!" I yelled. I think if the situation had been any different I would have received a months worth of detention for that but seeings as I was in a complete and utter state she let it off with a small sympathetic stare.

"Don't do this to yourself James…she'll be fine, you being there will just make the matter all the more real"

"But it is real…it is real!" I cried, I broke down and she let go of my arm as I dropped to the floor weak and vulnerable. I slouched on the cold hard stone ground and wept, bitterly, for what felt like hour after hour.

She wasn't going to make it was she? It was all too real for my liking. She was a witch for God sake, in what is thought to be the best Wizarding School in the world. How the hell could they not cure her?

It was cruel, it was unfair, it was unjust…it was Lily.

There was so much that I wanted to tell her, so much I wanted to say, I wanted to ask her on a date one more time, I wanted to hear her refuse the proposal one more time, I wanted to act like I didn't care when really I was dying slowly inside one more time, just once more. But fate wasn't to let that happen was it…Lily was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.

Hey people sorri its so short this time but i ran out of ideas hope u like and plz review thanx for all the ova reviews btw