I own no one
------------------I could have-----------------
I woke up in a cold sweat, head banging and my heart pounding inside my rib cage, trying to break through the hard exterior of my chest.
"James?" I heard Sirius mumble rolling over onto his front.
"Hey Padfoot" I said breathing heavily.
"Go back to sleep" He said letting his arm to fall to the side of his bed.
"Oh charming" I muttered lying back down on my bed. I had, had another dream, one far worse than the other one. In this one…I died. Lily and I were dead. I couldn't believe the dreams I was having…plus in these dreams I was OLD! OLD I tell you, though somehow I still managed to keep my perfect figure and ravishing features.
Anyway I was now DEAD…DEAD I tell you! Honestly…these dreams really knew how to mess with a guys head.
I slept straight through till 7 after that. I hoisted myself from my place of rest and grabbed my dressing gown hanging up on the coat rack.
I made my way to the bathroom and turned the hot tap on. I cupped my hands under the tap and felt the water gush over my hands and make a shallow puddle in my palms, the occasional splash of water seeped through the gaps in my linked hands but I managed to use most of it to wash my face. I splashed the cold water onto my tired and sweaty face. I rubbed the water from my eyes and used a near by towel to dry them. I looked up into the mirror.
Perfect face, eyes a deep golden colour, flawless skin, the only criticism to be made was the few lines etched into my forehead from all the stress I had endured those last days. I looked down ashamed of myself. But why was I ashamed? I hadn't done anything…not really…unless of course if you count loving someone so much they end up unconscious.
"Prongs mate" Remus called into the bathroom.
"Yeah" I said leaning back against the sink.
"You ok in there?"
"Yeah"
"Good…well…there is something else I needed to say"
"Yeah"
"Peter needs to pee so can you hurry up please"
I opened the door and let a little Peter, franticly holding onto his Jacobs, go in after.
I heard a little squeak of thanks as he shuffled in and slammed shut the door.
"Prongs" Remus said, I ignored him and walked straight past.
"James" He said again more forcefully taking hold of my arm.
"Look Remus back off, I don't need you babying me"
"Oh the contrary James, I think that's exactly what you need" I looked at his stern expression, the full moon was near and I could see the pain and weariness etched into his own face, his eyes were grey…cold.
"Moony…you don't understand" I said looking down, again ashamed.
"You don't think so huh? Try me" He said sitting down on the edge of his bed and tugging me down with him.
"I just miss her so much Remus…it was my fault she got sent to that awful place, I've heard about St. Mungos, it's full of crack pot loonies, it's a shit hole and I've sent her there!"
"No you didn't James, she was ill you couldn't have done anything about it, it's not like you made her leave the ward"
"Oh Remus I knew you wouldn't understand! Because I did make her leave the ward. I kissed her mate, like proper, tongues and all"
"Oh my goodness James…I didn't know, I didn't know it was that serious between you guys, why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Well Remus I did have quite a lot of stuff already on my mind" I said looking at the palms of my hands.
"But James this does NOT mean any of this is your fault" He said putting his hand to my shoulder, I didn't mind as much when it was Remus, but I was still uncomfortable with boys touching my shoulder…I no I'm SOO anti gay.
"I'm still going to think it is though Remus…and if she doesn't come back…"
"Hey, No you can't think like that, Lily will be fine she's just going through a little rough patch, she'll be as right as rain soon, so don't go killing her off just yet" He smiled a little at me and I managed a smile back.
"Tell me something Remus, how is it that you can be involved in any prank we pull and Lily still won't get mad at you?"
"Dunno mate, guess it's just the hound dog charm" He grinned and winked at me.
I grinned back and got up from the bed.
"Thanks Moony" I said, getting ready for what I knew would be a long day ahead.
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Description, explanation, visual imagery. All things that I just can not be bothered talk about today. Classes went by quick, lunch went by even quicker and before I even knew it I was reclined in my usual chair in the Gryffindor common room in front of the fire with my fellow Gryffindor chums scattered round me.
"The games called I never" Sirius said flinging a small bottle of liqueur at me.
"Are you sure we're allowed this Prongs mate?" Peter asked cautiously, eyeing the bottle with a look of concentration.
"Trust me Wormtail, you can always trust old Sirius" He said grinning. I snorted and rolled my eyes.
"Last time Peter trusted you he ended up having to be fished out of the lake by Hagrid and a 10 foot fishing net" Remus said.
"Ahh good times, I can still remember the look on the giant squids face when we fed him those Paprika Pasties with extra chilli" Sirius said with a far away look in his eye.
"Shall we just play the game" I said growing impatient.
"Fine but we should be studying for that Herbology test tomorrow, I'm still not sure where the Devils snare originated from" Remus said stroking the beard he may have in a few…decades.
"Oh to Merlin with the test it's not like I'm going to be a Herbolotician when I'm older" Sirius said huffily.
"Herbolotician isn't a word you plonk!" Remus said throwing a cushion at Sirius' head.
"Yeah well it's a good thing I'm not going to be one then isn't it" He said throwing the cushion back at him.
Me, Remus and Peter burst out laughing at this and we ended up having a good old pillow fight.
When we had all had enough we stopped to catch our breath.
"So are we actually going to play this game then?" I asked flopping down in my usual seat and swinging my legs over the side so I lay in it like a hammock.
"Sure, so the games called I never, we each start with a small bottle, if I say something like 'I never cheated on an exam' then I would take a swig, because of course I have, if anyone else has cheated on an exam then they would also take a swig ,the first person to get an empty bottle is the scummiest of us all ,don't be envious when it's me by the way. Get it?"
"I think so"
"Maybe"
"No"
"Great, so who wants to start?"
"I will", I said, "I never weed in a swimming pool"
We all drank to this, no surprise there.
"I never slept with a teddy"
Again it was drinks all round.
"I never imagined Professor McGonagall in her underwear"
There was a silence…then Peter slowly lifted the bottle to his lips.
"YUCK PETER" I said gagging.
"Well I hadn't before Padfoot said that"
"Fair enough"
The game went on like this for a while until we got to a question dreaded to be answered.
"I never kissed Lily Evans"
I looked around, I didn't know what to do, I was paralysed, it must be a trick, he must be toying with me…but why would Sirius ask this question?
I lifted the bottle to my lips…lifted back my head, and poured a small amount into my mouth, I swallowed and looked up to see Remus also drinking.
"MOONY!"
"It was back in first year James, it wasn't anything important"
"You kissed Lily and that isn't anything important!"
"It was just a small peck on the lips, I promise"
"No wonder she's so nice to you"
"Well I think it's hard for her to like me now when she's just been snogging your face off"
"Wait, you've both kissed Lily!" Sirius said exasperated.
"YES!" We yelled at the same time. I began to argue with Remus, I was shouting the odds that I didn't notice my little alcohol bottle balancing dangerously on the edge of the table. I accidentally kicked the table leg and the little bottle dropped off onto the floor, smashing into tiny little pieces.
Everyone stopped arguing to look at the little bottle now a shatter of miniscule pieces of nano-sized shards of glass.
"Hey look at that…James has no liqueur left"
"Yeah look at that"
"Not a drop"
"Great" I said, I was the scummiest of the scummiest. They might as well have crowned me 'Prince Scummy, heart breaker and feud maker'.
This was were my life was going…
And as I cleaned that glass up from that floor that night I thought, this is exactly what I've got to do with my act…clean it up.
Sorri for the feeble end guys but please read and review as usual thanx agen and i'll get an update as soon as possible