A/N: We always manage to mess things up, don't we?

Chapter Twenty-five

The Crazy Waiter & Other Humorous Anecdotes

TOWN

The passengers got out of the car, relieved they were finally able to escape.

"That was fun," Faythe said happily as they walked back to the hotel. It was a nice day, so they hadn't driven the bus to the safari.

Legolas, who was forever thinking about clothes, pointed across the street. "Sweet Eru! He has my outfit on!"

"Oh, Inari…"

"That's horrible," Taro said quietly.

"I know!" Legolas exclaimed, clearly outraged. "I have half a mind to go rip that outfit off of him!"

"You're obsessed!" Hiei shouted. "Listen to yourself! This is crazy!"

Legolas didn't answer.

"That was fun!" Haldir exclaimed. "What are we doing next?"

"Next we're going to get food," Faythe replied. "That safari thing was cool, but they had no concession stand."

Aragorn sighed. Sometimes Faythe was a little too attached to her Hobbit blood. "Where do you want to go?"

Faythe shrugged. "I dunno."

"How about McDonald's?" Taro suggested. He'd never been to one before, and American fast food intrigued him.

"NO!" Faythe, Aragorn, and Jake shouted in unison.

Sara and Hiei remembered. They hadn't exactly been at McDonald's when it happened, but they knew about it. "Let's not and say we didn't," Sara replied to Taro. She patted his arm. "There are plenty of other places we can go. This is Kenya! We can eat McDonald's anywhere!"

Taro looked a little upset before smiling. "Alright. Where do you want to go?"

ELMER'S (THE RESTAURANT)

"You had to pick this place?"

"It looks interesting, Faythe," Legolas said, opening the doors.

"Its named after a glue company!"

Everyone in the restaurant stared at her.

"Don't judge a book by its cover."

"It isn't the cover I'm judging."

The place was rather clean looking, the first clean restaurant they had seen in a while. Not since the fight, anyway. Fountains were everywhere. Fancy wallpaper, that matched equally fancy carpeting, covered the walls giving the place a royal atmosphere.

No one noticed this, however. They were all staring at the waiter in front of them.

"Welcome to Elmer's!" he said in a nasally voice before laughing. "I'll show you to your table." He grabbed about forty menus and walked to a table. The group followed him. "Not you!" he shouted. "These nice people over here." He waved his hand through the air towards invisible people.

"Why us!" Sara cried. "Why do we always get the crazy ones!" She threw her hands in the air for dramatic effect.

They went back to the lobby area and waited for another waiter. The crazy one could be heard serving his invisible large party. "What can I get you to drink?"

Faythe rolled her eyes. "This is insane."

"No," Jake corrected, "he's insane."

A hostess came over. "Hi, folks. Smoking or non?"

"Depends," Sara joked, "Is smoking only for cigarettes?"

The hostess cocked an eyebrow. "…Yes."

"Oh," Sara said, "never mind then. Non!"

"Nine adults and two children?" she asked pleasantly.

"Yes," Faythe replied, in order to discourage Sara from being mean.

"Right this way." Their table was close to the invisible party. The waiter was setting out food for the large group. "Who ordered the veal?"

"Excuse me, miss," Kurama asked politely, "is that man an employee here?"

She looked at him and her eyes widened. "Nope! Never seen him before!" And she scurried off.

Legolas scoffed. "How incorrigibly rude!"

Hiei stared at him. "Where do you learn these words?"

"Internet," Legolas replied promptly.

Faythe was looking off into an obscure corner of the restaurant. "Hey, look! A saxophone!"

"NO!" everyone shouted in unison.

Faythe made a noise that sounded similar to but not quite as indignant as, "Hmph."

The waitress came and took their orders. They got about halfway through the meal before any incidents. Everyone, of course, was aware of this and was on their guard. Something was bound to happen.

"Look at me!" the "waiter" shouted. "I'm a pretty ballerina!"

That outburst led to a chain of events better left to be described on a horror show.

THE LESS GRAPHIC VERSION

The "waiter" spun around, running into the manager, who had come to remove him from the building, in the process of doing so. The manager, in turn, crashed into a waitress who had been carrying dishes. Food and glass flew everywhere, creating a horrible mess. People screamed, as they always do in a minor crisis and it all went downhill from there.