Hereis the actual beginning!It's again, not side-splitting hilarious, but I'll get to that later on, when Master Hand and the Smashers go shopping for Samus, guided by Pink Princess Peach! Oh my.

"Cool!" Young Link prodded the Bo-omb with a grin. It remained asleep, snoozing with a little bubble coming out of its nose.

Ness was quite proud of himself. "I snitched it from Master Hand's storage room. They're all in this dormant stage- Hey! I have an idea!"

"Is this one of your stupid plans that involves bombs, grenades, us getting blown up and grounded for two weeks?" Young Link asked. Ness nodded.

"Great!"

"Neat!"

"Let's go!"

"I drew the finish line upstairs," Young Link panted.

"I made the start line," Ness cheered. They both took out a Bo-omb and set them at the finish line.

"3!" The Bo-ombs woke up and yawned.

"2!" They both readied to run.

"1!" They readied some more.

"GO!" Both Bo-ombs took off as fast as they could, flying up the stairs.

"Yaaah! Mine's winning!" Ness screamed.

"GO! GO!" Young Link yelled, urging his own charge on.

The bo-ombs caught up even and raced around the corner- right towards a room with the nameplate Samus Aran…

Samus sat in her room as the transmittion aired itself, thinking about how horrible the week was going. First the incident in the bathroom, then Falcon's attentions…

Samus sighed. Life was no fair. Just because she was a girl didn't mean…

She sighed. She despised and loathed anything remotely pink. Kirby was her worst nightmare, and the feminine Princess Peach was something pulled out of hell to her. Anything pink with lacey frills and glitter made her sick, and anything that little fairy-princess girls considered hip sent Samus into throes of agony.

And those huge big-eyed plushies!

Once a Space Federation official had sent her a Valentine's Day present the year he realized that Samus was a woman. It consisted of a bouquet of red roses. Samus tolerated them… But then the deliveryman brought out a HIDEOUS giant white stuffed bear with eyes the size of bowling balls! (Samus promptly blew it up in her panic.)

And the bounty hunter was just mulling on her horrible week when the Bo-ombs crashed in.

BOOM!

Master Hand paced (actually floated) in front of the gathered Smashers.

"Young Link, Ness, come forward," the voice growled. Master Hand was obviously very, very angry about something.

All having heard the huge explosion, everyone knew what had happened somewhere. No one noticed that Samus was missing until Falcon asked,

"Where'd the hot babe go?"

"That's exactly what I need to explain," Master Hand said carefully, bottling his rage so that it seemed that at any given moment, the giant white glove would explode and use the remaining energy to implode. "Ness and Young Link are the culprits… I know this might seem shocking to you, but our dear companion and comrade Mr.- Er, I mean Ms. Aran has been sent to the hospital."

"But then who am I supposed to sexually harass and attempt to molest- Er, I mean…" Captain Falcon began, but shut up.

"Because of the unusual circumstances of her injuries, I have no power over her health, and she is expected to make a full recovery within the next two weeks.

But first of all, Ness and Young Link were racing Bo-ombs from my PRIVATE storage," Master Hand sudden roared, sending out a great angry wind. The giant white glove was positively raging now. "AND WE WILL ALL DECIDE A SUITABLE PUNISHMENT! Not only is this a major violation of the Golden Rulebook, but it has caused the underwear model- Er, I mean Ms. Aran, grievous injuries and has destroyed HER ENTIRE ROOM!"

Zelda and Peach both gasped in alarm. "But how's Samus?" they demanded. "Is she okay-"

"Ms. Aran is being rushed to the hospital as we speak. Unfortunately, she did not have her Power Suit on, so the damage is greater than it should have been. She is currently in ICU and in a coma with doctors concerned about her chance of survival- Er, but she's okay! Anyways, I have sent the suit, which was also-" The Hand eyelessly glared at the two children cowering in the corner, "sustained a lot of damage. For now, EVERY match will be postponed, yes Misters Marth and Roy, even the training matches. And you can blame it on those two as we decide the PUNISHMENT!" Master Hand shot a few flying bombs into the hidey-hole of a corner.

"But before we punish, we are all aware that Ms. Aran has not have had a good week at all…" He sighed melodramatically. "I am concerned for the happiness and well-being of all of you. ("Really-a?" Luigi asked. "No-a, it's customary to-a say-a that," his brother assured him.) I propose that, since her room has been destroyed, we'll remake a new one just for her!" A giant cute smiley basically appeared on Master Hand's 'face.'

Everyone cheered, but the jubilation was cut short as Bowser bought up a very good point…

"But," the giant Turtle-like creature rumbled, "What does Samus like?"

"Well... Samus is a girl, right?" Marth asked."What do girls like?"

Everyone was silent.