"Okay, so we have a predicament… We have to make Samus feel better, but how the #$!& am I supposed to know what she likes?" Master Hand asked.

Falcon thought. "She likes me," he offered.

"No, she just wants to blow off your head," Fox quipped.

Falcon looked glum.

"She likes blowing things up!"

"Okay, let's make a list," Peach cheered.

List of what Samus likes

1) Her Armor

2) Blowing things up

3) Hunting dangerous criminals

3.5) Going on dangerous missions

4) Blowing things up

5) Her Armor

6) Blowing things up

7) Adam Malkovich ("Wait!" Fox yelled. "Who's Adam Malkovich?" Everyone shrugged, and Master Hand crossed out number seven with a giant pen.

"We're getting-a nowhere," Luigi sighed.

"Hey! I know!" Falcon yelled.

"No, Samus does not like you," Falco and Fox both said at once.

"No… Samus is a girl, right?" Captain Falcon yelled. "So what do girls like?"

"Finally something intelligent out of you!" everyone cheered as Falcon took a bow.

"Peach, Zelda, Jigglypuff, Nana, you're all girls, right?"

Everyone but Nana nodded.

The little Ice Climber looked dubious. She turned to her twin. "Are you Popo or Nana?"

"I'm Popo, so you're probably Nana," her brother replied.

"Okay, I'm a girl!" Nana chirruped.

"Okay, so you four supervise. Tell me, what do girls like?"

"PINK!" Peach said.

"Jewelry, makeup, and lace," Zelda said.

"Pink fluffy things with glittery stuff," Peach said.

"Romantic moonlight walks on the beach- no Link, you've never taken me on one before."

"Pink girly stuff that makes boys want to throw up!" Peach cheered.

"I like stuffed animals," Nana said thoughtfully. "I like big giant fluffy pink and white stuffed animals with little things on their bellies that say 'I love you!' or something.

"I like clothes and stuff!" Peach added as all the girls nodded their heads (or in Jigglepuff's case, her whole body) in agreement.

"Jiggly- jigglypuf, jiggly!"

Everyone was silent as the sickeningly adorable puffball spoke.

"Er… I think-a…" Mario attempted to translate. "She said that she likes pink a lot, she LOVES huge frilly bows, and she likes what Peach does, and that Peach has very good taste in style…"

"Aww, thank you!" Peach blushed as Jigglypuff nodded.

Master Hand finished jotting all this down.

"Okay all of you, let's look inside the girls' rooms to see what girls like!"

Next chapter preview-

Peach's room was reminiscent of the unloved offspring of a pink pompom and a rhinestone-studded mushroom. The walls were painted a delicate shade of bright pink, the bed was not to be seen under the huge pile of floofy pink lacey pillows, and the various pictures and whatnot adorning the wall were coated in glittery stuff and more pink. The carpet was a hideous shade of girly pink too, and even the well-organized and scented desk was pink...

Can you imagine Samus in a Peach room? Dun-dun-dun...