Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 8: Repaving roads

A loud rap on the door caused Hyde to leap nearly two feet off his bed. Heart pounding, sweat beading on his forehead, he gasped for air and tried to calm down.

He could almost still smell the perfume.

Hell, he was in his apartment; he hadn't slept on the cot in a year! Looking around his empty room, he realized it was a dream.

Or a torturous nightmare, depending on your perspective.

Hyde ran a hand over his face and opened the door a crack for Forman.

"What's up?"

"Dude, it's 2. We were supposed to meet at The Hub at 11."

"Sorry, man. Didn't sleep very well last night."

Eric smirked. "Really?"

"Forman. I'm fine."

"Yeah. Sure." Hyde glared at Eric before backing up to allow him access to the apartment.

"So have you talked to her yet?"

"No. There's nothing to talk about."

"How about the fact that you still love her, that you're sorry about Sam, that you're sorry for being a commitment-phobic, paranoid, non-trusting…"

"Forman! There's nothing to talk about."

Eric just smirked while Hyde went off to change. In his room, he flipped through his shirts, his fingers pausing on his Zepplin shrit. Jackie's Zepplin shirt.

She had left it hanging all alone in her closet when she moved. It had ripped his heart out. But what was even worse was that she had washed it first. Holding it as he curled up, clutching his stomach in pain, he could smell the detergent, but he couldn't smell her. He had come close to throwing the shirt out, not wanting to be reminded of her. But he could never bring himself to do it.

And now he knew that was a good thing - because now it was going to come in handy.

Smiling, he tore the shirt off its hanger for the first time in two years.

Jackie skipped down the stairs of the Pinciotti home. She entered the living room, where Mark was putting on his shoes.

"Hey, hon. If you don't mind, I was going to go to Milwaukee for the night. One of my best friends from college lives there now."

"Oh, that's fine."

"Did you want to go with?"

"No, Donna and I are doing wedding stuff." Jackie lied through her teeth, looking forward to an evening with just the old gang.

She walked him out to the car and kissed him. Waving while he backed out, she waited until he turned off the street before heading over to the Formans.

She went down the outside stairs and pushed open the door, ready to say hi to Donna, Fez and Eric. She stopped short when she saw Steven was the only one in the room.

Her breath caught in her throat. He had never looked so hot – sitting there, in the Zepplin shirt, feet on the table, reading a magazine with the trademark sunglasses on.

Looking up from his magazine, he sat up straight, taking his feet off the table. To the casual observer, his facial expression didn't change, but Jackie had always been able to tell what he was thinking, even before he had taught her Zen.

He was nervous, and a little nauseous. Or, maybe, she couldn't read him anymore and she was just projecting her own feelings onto him.

"Jackie."

"Steven. Uh, how are you?" She walked slowly into the room, sitting on the side of the couch furthest from him. She clasped her hands and set them on her knees.

"I'm OK. You?"

"Good, good." She cleared her throat and sneaked a glance over at him. He was rubbing his palms against his jean-clad thighs.

Man, he always looks so good in jeans…

"It's…" Now, he cleared his throat. "It's really good to see you, Jackie."

An unwanted smile danced across her lips. She looked down at her hands. "It's good to see you, too."

She looked up and they made eye contact When had he taken off the sunglasses? Seeing his piercing eyes was almost too much to bear. And yet, she couldn't break the gaze. Neither spoke. Time seemed to stop, and Jackie had to remind herself to breathe.

Thankfully, Steven broke contact first, and he was also the first to break the silence.

"I'm glad to hear everything's going well for you."

"Thank you."

Hyde leaned forward, resting his forearms on his things.

Time to put this plan into action…

"Jackie, I-I've missed you."

He could hear her gasp and could almost tell that her heart started beating harder.

"Well, I've … missed you too."

"Are you happy?"

Jackie was shocked by the earnestness in his voice. She opened her mouth, not knowing what to honestly say, but before she could, Steven broke in again.

"Because, Jackie, you deserve to be. It's … all I've ever wanted for you." He stood up, walking over to her. Jackie leaned away from him, confused, not entirely trusting herself around him. Their eyes met again. "Because, Jackie, I really do love you."

Steven leaned forward, kissed her chastely on the forehead and softly smiled at her. He backed away and walked toward the stairs, leaving her alone. He paused on the way up to glance back. She still sat there, obviously in shock. He heard the tiniest of whispers.

"Do?"

He smirked and went up the rest of the stairs.

Jackie was still sitting in a confused, shocked state when Donna, Eric and Fez came down a few minutes later.

"Hey, Jackie."

"Hey." Her voice was flat, causing Donna to give her a worried look.

More footsteps on the stairs snapped Jackie out of her thoughts, as she turned to watch Steven coming back downstairs, carrying two Cokes. He handed her one with a smile, which she returned with a small quirk of her own mouth.

He took a long drag on his own bottle and threw himself back onto his chair.

Very soon, they were laughing and talking like no time had passed. However, throughout the evening, Jackie kept sneaking glances over at Steven, but he never seemed to be looking back. It was like that conversation had never happened. It was driving her insane.

"Hey," Hyde said, sitting up straight again. "I have an idea. We need to celebrate … almost all of us being together again." He gave his patented, sly grin and nodded his head.

The others chuckled and moved their seats into "circle" position. The smoke hit Jackie hard and quick, and she was soon giggling and tipsy. She looked over at Steven, and he finally looked at her too. She had never seen him look so happy.

She felt like the others weren't in the room as they continued to just stare at each other. Pretty soon, the night grew to a close and they were the only ones in the room. Fez had gone home, Eric and Donna went upstairs.

Jackie and Hyde had moved to the couch to watch TV. Unlike earlier in the evening, Jackie was comfortable being alone with him.

They were laughing at the late night show, trying to ignore the fact that they were sitting so close on the couch that had seen such private and good parts of their relationship.

Hyde had an arm on the back of the couch behind her, while their legs just slightly touched. If she let her head drop just a little more to the side, it'd be resting on his shoulder. Neither of them acknowledged the wrongness of their positions, just took advantage of the opportunity to share this forbidden time and closeness.

They again caught each other's eyes and smiled. Steven lifted his hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, while Jackie took in a deep, shaky breath. Hyde tried to hide a smile, leaned forward an infinitesimal amount, paused and then leaned in again. Jackie moved, ready to meet him halfway, even while her conscience screamed at her.

You're engaged to Mark. Remember how Michael's cheating hurt, how the nurse hurt, how Sam hurt. You can't do that to him. You and Steven can never be. He'll just hurt you again.

But her heart's beating drowned out the voice in her head. There was nothing more she really wanted to do than kiss him, feel his arms around her, get lost in his scent, hear his voice whispering in her ear.

She wanted to love him, wanted to believe in love again, wanted to believe he loved her.

Their lips drew closer, almost touching. She could feel his breath on her, hot and coming faster. Her eyes drifted shut, aching for the contact.

It never came. Instead, she felt the couch shift, the arm move, the breath disappear. She opened her eyes to find Steven walking away from her, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I – I don't know what came over me. I know you're engaged. You don't have to worry about me making a move again." He turned to face her, having to work hard to hide the smirk as he took in her flustered, disappointed expression.

"Uh." Jackie finally squeaked out.

"I'm sorry," he said again before racing up the stairs, leaving her alone again for the second time that evening.

She walked back over to Donna's house in a daze, trying to understand what happened. She stumbled into the house, glad Mark was still in Milwaukee because she could not talk to him right now.

Tears sprung into her eyes as she tried to work out what to do. After tonight, she could no longer go through with the wedding. It wouldn't be fair to Mark, when she now knew she wasn't over Steven.

But how could she do that to Mark? He had opened her heart again, he had treated her right, she hadn't had to wonder how he felt because he always told her. He wasn't afraid of commitment, he didn't tease her about her shallowness and occasional stupid comments.

But she didn't love him.

However, could she trust Steven with her heart again? If she gave up her new life, how could she know that this time things would be different? That he really wanted to be with her, wanted a life with her?

She had thought that road was closed, yet in just a few short days, he had opened and repaved it. But how could she tell that it wasn't full of potholes?

Not to mention that part of her really hated Steven right now. He was messing with her; it was obvious. He knew exactly what he was doing.

And that made her wonder if he really wanted her – or just wanted her to suffer more.