PERSONALITY 3: THE DESPERATE BAD-BOY ROMEO COMPLEX

Chapter 10: Voldemort's Secret Love

They were back in the bathroom again.

Harry stood silent as Lupin waved his wand, and the thick strand flew out of the water and landed gracefully in the bottle.

"Whose memory was that?" asked Harry quietly.

"Actually, this was woven from the memories of those that were there—You-Know-Who, James, Lily, Petunia, Hagrid, Dumbledore, and your own."

Harry looked astonished. "How was the memory extracted from You-Know-Who?"

"Dumbledore did it. He managed to get a hold of the Tom Riddle's Diary, and extracted it from that piece of him. He wove the memories together…"

"How did he get the memory from my mum and dad?"

"I don't know, but he did it…" sighed Lupin. "He was a great wizard." He released the tap and the water drained away. "Come, let's go back to my room to continue this. I suspect there is someone who needs to use the bathroom."

He opened the door to see George standing there with an impatient look on his face. "It's about time!" he said when he saw Harry. "You've been in there for—" he stopped when he saw Lupin emerge. "I'm not going to ask," he said, waving them off.

"Dumbledore was going to show you that memory," said Lupin. "He placed it in the hands of the Order of the Phoenix, and waited for the right time to show you. I am sure he was going to show it to you soon before he left us."

Harry sat silent.

Lupin paced the room. "You see Harry, You-Know-Who needed love so badly—love he never got from his mother or father, nor Lily, the only one whom he ever truly cared for—besides himself of course. He killed them not simply because they were Aurors who were fighting against his side, but because he was jealous of the love they had. And moreover, he wanted to kill you because you symbolized the love Lily and James shared—the kind of love he wanted for himself."

"So he's evil because he's deprived of love?" Harry said in astonishment.

"Maybe," said Lupin. "But it may be more complex than that. I think love made him vulnerable. You saw how he sang to Lily, and changed his own appearance to please her. He could have had Petunia, but he didn't want her."

"Aunt Petunia," repeated Harry. "I never knew… I thought…" he shook his head. "I didn't know she could do magic…"

"Her magic was weak. The only thing that kept her from being simply muggle was her desire to be as good as her sister. Of course, she envied Lily for her talent, her looks, and successful love life."

"How could she have loved Voldemort?" asked Harry.

"Love is a strange thing…" reflected Lupin, after a few moments of silence.

"How did Voldemort meet my mum in the first place?"

Lupin sighed. "I'm not exactly sure when he fell in love with her, but I do know that Wormtail mentioned our group a lot to You-Know-Who. After all, Wormtail hung out with us for quite a while. He idolized James so much that You-Know-Who became curious, and then annoyed. It was clear to him that Wormtail respected James. You-Know-Who not only wanted to be idolized, adored, and loved, but he wanted to be respected as well. All he could get out of Wormtail was fear. And so, he spied on James to learn more about him, and in doing so, he found out about Lily."

Harry was speechless. "How do you know this?"

Lupin smiled. "Sirius and I spent many long hours asking 'why's and 'what if's' in our grief after your parents death."

"Why did he act that way?"

"If you are referring to the way he dressed and wooed Lily…" Lupin shrugged. "He must have noticed that James was the bad-boy type, and thought that would attract Lily. The singing and the Shakespeare—that's a muggle poet—were his own additions. He thought that would bring your mother around."

It was too much for Harry. All these years of his life he had believed Voldemort to be an evil figure, heartless, cruel, inhuman. And now, so suddenly, this.

"Anyway, this brings us to your dreams. I am not completely sure why you are having these dreams… or if You-Know-Who is sending them to you.. or if they are reflections of his thoughts. I think that him wanting to marry Lily would place him in the possible position as your father."

"But if he married my mum, I wouldn't be me in the first place," interjected Harry.
Lupin shrugged. "Dreams and visions are confusing things."

"What about my scar?" asked Harry.

"What do you think?" returned Lupin.

"A marking and symbol that you may be his nemesis," came Hermione's voice. Harry and Lupin turned around and saw Hermione and Ron at the doorway. They held up flesh-colored strings.

"Extendable Ears, I should have known," smiled Lupin. "How long have you two been listening?"

"Long enough to know about the strangeness of it all," said Ron.

"Can they see the memory?" asked Harry.

"Oh cool!" said Ron. "I've never seen one before."

Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Well, allright. Harry, you want to come along?" said Lupin.

"Nah, you two go ahead. I'm going to bed," said Harry, deep in his own thoughts.