It was pitch black. All that was audible was the hollow "tonk tonk tonk" of Draco's own footsteps—boots upon aluminum. Dressed in a black jumpsuit, his pale hair gelled back, and armed with a double-sided light saber he barely knew how to use, he was making his way through a ventilation shaft.
My name is James. James Bond, he thought to himself. A 007 was embroidered on his collar. He smiled with satisfaction.
Everything would be perfect if the mission was an actual mission. If could have it his way, he would be apparating. But no, the Dark Lord felt that he had to do things the hard way. Supposedly apparating would create too much noise.
After returning with Snape and a group of witnesses all stating that Draco had not fulfilled his task, it was not surprising that the Master was furious. It was only Snape and Narcissa's pleading that saved his life.
He was sent on a new task—one that he felt was utterly ridiculous. Yet, You-Know-Who had warned him that this was his last chance.
"Find all the crystallized pineapples you can!" was the order.
And so, here he was, in a muggle factory that crystallized pineapples.
Another right turn, and then a left. He was at the end of the shaft. Pressing his ear against the metal slits, he could hear two voices arguing.
"Well now, Mr. Smith, I would think that you would trust me to be a partner in your corporation… after all, I simply adore crystallized pineapples," came a voice all too-familiar.
Draco peered through the slits and saw Professor Slughorn sitting across from a man in a business suit.
"I don't see what your love of my product has to do with this business negotiation," returned Mr. Smith from behind his desk. "You still haven't convinced me to hire you as my CEO."
Professor Slughorn sighed. "I'm afraid you must hire me whether you like it or not."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a wizard." And with that, Slughorn whipped out his wand, and brandished it.
"Have you lost it, man?" laughed Mr. Smith.
"No, Mr. Norris, I have not." Slughorn flicked his wand, and a stack of papers flew off the desk.
Mr. Norris suddenly gulped. "How did you do that? And how do you know that's my name?"
"I know a lot of things… Tell me, you muggle, what happened to your wife?"
Mr. Norris' jaw tightened. "She dead! Killed in a terrorist act!"
"Pph!" snorted Slughorn. "She's not dead."
"Yes she is!" sobbed Mr. Norris. "Why do you think I opened up this factory? Crystallized pineapples have always been her favorite snack…"
"Mrs. Norris is not dead," repeated Slughorn. "She's been transformed into a cat."
"What?" paused the business man. "What is this nonsense?"
"She fought the Death Eaters and they cast a spell on her. Your wife was an animagus and a witch, Mr. Norris."
"What..?" Mr. Norris felt beads of sweat form on his forehead.
"For the love of crystallized pineapples, she was a witch! Didn't she ever tell you?"
"N-n-no!"
"She was an animagus too… she could change into an animal."
Mr. Norris sank back in his chair. "The week after the accident, there was a cat that kept following me all over the place…" he confessed.
"MMmhm," nodded Slughorn. "Now, you must let me be your partner in this corporation. It's vital that the Death Eaters don't get a hold of it, or else You-Know-Who will-"
At that moment Draco burst through the vent, brandishing a wand in one hand, and the double-sided light saber in the other. "Expelliarmus! Levicorpus!"
Slughorn's wand flew out of his hand, and he was yanked upwards by the ankle towards the ceiling.
Mr. Norris gulped and his eyes bulged.. "What in the-"
"My name is James. James Bond."
"No you're not!" yelled Slughorn. "You're Draco! Draco Malfoy! You son-of-a-"
"Death
Eater!" exclaimed Norris, suddenly understanding what was
happening.
Draco brandished his saber, and twirled his wand while
simpering. "That's right. Now give me your factory."
This job might be fun after all.