Tsumii: Well hello, I probably shouldn't be starting this because I haven't finished my other stories but I just felt like putting this out there, its an idea that's been throwing itself around in my head for a while so meh, here it is.

This is a Sasuke x Sakura pairing though there may be some hints of other couplings and possible love triangles, not too mention that the relationships will most likely take some time to develop (just like in real life eh?) because I don't like the idea of people just magically falling in love so fast that it just seems dumb and overall unbelievable.

Now I must warn you, the first few chapters are probably going to be agonizingly slow, and I tried to add some humour too make up for it, but I really wanted to build a base for this. Bah, author notes are boring just read! XD!

Summary: So what happens when young Sakura Haruno finds herself being thrown into another foster home, in a trailer park no less, having to deal with freaks, creeps and geeks? Not too mention schools a disaster, home life should be on paper view and what the devil is a Junkyard War? Oh the humanity! SasuSaku

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if you here otherwise it's all lies!

NOTE: This will probably be told from Sakura's POV but I'm not sure if I'll keep it that way, the first chapter is definitely told from that I guess I'll base it on reviews.

Junkyard Wars

Chapter One

Bah, this is so stupid, it's so stupid it's like…it's like one of those dumb infomercials that have no point except to repeat themselves over and over again, like a broken record or something. I mean all they do is rearrange every possible word, sentence, noun or verb imaginable to make it seem like there is a spec of creative thinking behind the washout, low paid probably old smelly perverted writers that have no life except to replicate sentences over and over again about some stupid toothbrush while a scantily dressed prostitute smiles about how the damn contraption has changed her life and now she'll write a book about it or something.

Ok I should take a deep breath because that sentence was just running on as long as this stupid dirt road in the middle of no where is. I mean honestly what is wrong with Children's Aid? Are they composed of a couple of morons, or perhaps a large supply of monkeys who sit there on typewriters all day pondering on how to write the next great novel of our time? Well it doesn't matter Children's Aid in my mind has hit a new low if they think I'll be safe living in some hickish town located probably farther than somewhere over the rainbow. I mean I'm a simple young girl at the fine age of sixteen who is still getting treated as if there's a large diaper under my belt. So what if this is my…uh…one, two, three…bah there is too many to count, lets just say it's a large number of foster homes. I'm independent and I most certainly kick ass but nooo, I'm still too immature, still too young to be granted the opportunity to live on my own.

Other kids get to do it at my age; hell people even younger than me get to live by themselves but me? Nope, no sir, it doesn't matter that I'm a first degree black belt, or that I'm always top of my class at every damn school I'm sent too, or or…well there are other accomplishments but I'm far too lazy too think about those right now. I'll just sit here and die. Well the breeze does feel nice but this weird person beside me doesn't seem to want to shut up. I feel sorry for this guy though, I know I can be a handful at times. Well enough inner complaining or strange thoughts about bow tie pasta, hmmm some of that would be good right now.

"…and the kids are really friendly Sakura, I know your just going to love it, I assure you!" Huh? Did you say something I was too busy thinking about the love of my life, with its cute little frilly edges and the array of colours it comes in, oh lets not forget the delicious scent it carries when the water is bubbled to the perfect degree. Well I better say something or this strange Children's Aid dude may become suspicious and annoying. "Sure, sounds wonderful" Oh feel the love, I am an amazing actress, he didn't suspect a thing, this bizarre guy with the scar across his nose, what was his name again? Iku? No that's not it, uhh...Iraki? Iraku? Iruki? Oh wait Iruki! Yeah that sounds familiar. "So Iruki-san, how did you get that weird scar on your nose?"

What an odd expression, I didn't think someone could stop mid-sentence and make there face jerk at weird angles like that. "He, he, he your expression is stupid Iruki-san!" Oh I don't think he's happy about that line, something about that increasing twitch in his left eye is telling me so, must be that woman's intuition I here so much about.

"That's Iruka-san, and you shouldn't call your superiors stupid Sakura, it's impolite and offends people." Oh great he's got that teacherish tone not to mention that finger wagging really makes him look like some old bitty with her wig screwed on too tight and a pole jammed a little too far up her ass. "Sure sure, Iruki-san, but you didn't tell me about the scar" I wonder if all adults can be so forgetful I mean honestly, I asked it only a few seconds ago and already this scar-faced, weird named guy is forgetting, I guess people are just dumb. How strange, it might just be me but I think his eye is twitching again. "It's Iruka-san, and you shouldn't ask such personal information about people you don't know Sakura, it seems you are yet to be taught some manners missy" I can already feel the mouth dropping and eye jerking within me, he just…he…he called…HE CALLED ME MISSY! What the hell? Do I look 75? Do I have an old lady name like Margaret or Ruth? I can hear my knuckles cracking; glad to know my body is already taking action as my thought process is currently running rampant in the fiery depths of hell planning for the death of this bastard! "Sakura, were here"

"What?" I can feel bright lights and a chorus of Alleluias as I am pulled from my reverie of pitchforks and lots of fire to the present. Shaking my head I turn to see the scar faced bastard behind the wheel of this crappy rundown white neon I find myself trapped within, staring ahead with a large grin plastered on his face. What the hell does such a lame person have to smile about?

All of these previous thoughts are forgotten though as I turn to behold what stands in front of me. What the hell is this? This, this… "THIS IS IT?" Oops didn't mean for that to be out loud but honestly what the hell? In front of me is sitting the ugliest, crappiest pile of scrap metal ever to be beheld by my eyes. It looks like a large silver mashed up Twinkie. Actually Twinkies are really good, but now is not the times to think of that lovely golden submarine filled with delicious pastry goodness. No now is the time too beat the hell out of the bastard sitting beside me. "Iruki-san…." Oh I can here the note of death laced in my tone already. I wonder if I've been possessed by the devil himself as I can already feel my body being consumed by a burning inferno. "It's Iruka-san, and is there something wrong Sakura?" Yup, he really is a moron, can he not see that we are parked in front of a trailer, actually were parked in front of a whole row of trailers, wait are these even trailers because all I see are pieces of metal that look as if they were thrown into a very large blender before being repeatedly smashed in by sledgehammers and then thrown off Mount Everest. Oh my, if I look behind me there are even more of these ugly metal heaps, well Iruki-san it seems you are incapable of reading a map as it would appear we are now stuck in a Trailer Park Boys episode all that's left to do is wait for Bubbles to jump out.

What? No retarded guy with freaky fish bowl glasses? Today is not my lucky day. "Sakura?" Oh right he asked a question. Well I was about to bring hell upon his ass but he obviously has a guardian angel because suddenly the front to the silver crap pile has been blown open and now I find myself starring up at someone who I officially do not believe human. OH MY GOD! Is it legal to be that creepy? Why the hell are those eyebrows that huge? Is that spandex? GREEN SPANDEX! Okay I must have stepped into the twilight zone because this can't be happening, its some freaky dream right? RIGHT?

Well it looks like Iruki-bastard has stepped out of the car, and…what the hell? Iruki-bastard I had no idea you were a homosexual. Honestly you should be upfront with a matter like that. I mean just the sight of you has caused the green uh…beast? To pounce on you and lay his sharp claws around you in an earth shattering hug. Wow, when people blush I always thought they turned red but your turning blue. Bah, it doesn't matter, I guess we were just taking a detour so you could visit your gay lover but I don't know why you couldn't have done that after you dropped me at what ever foster home I will call my house for the next few weeks. I know I'll be returned to Children's Aids care once more shortly just like every other time.

Well it looks like your embrace has ended for the time being, but why are you motioning me to come out of the car? Oh I hope you don't have any perverted thoughts in that bastard head of yours. Oh well lets find out what you want.

"Sakura, I'd like you too meet Maito Gai, he will be your foster parent from now on" Yup, definite mouth dropping right now, hmm, the ground is dirty I think that might be grape flavoured gum I'm tasting… ewww that's nasty. Back to the matter at hand though, what the hell is Iruki-bastard talking about, aren't we visiting his gay lover?

"Ahh such beauty! And you possess it in the springtime of your youth!" What? That green creature actually speaks, and so loudly I think my ears are going to break. "Uhh..hi?" Well that was original I guess but why should I say anything more to such strange people. "Iruka, this stunning flower will be put under my care and if I am not able too care and nurture her in the best possible manner I will run 300 laps around town. Town? I don't see any town; all I see are more ugly metal pieces littering this scary nightmare place that Iruki-bastard has brought me too.

"Yes, well I'll get her things for you, why don't you two get acquainted." Iruki-bastard, your confusing me, I can't possibly be expected to live in that silver heap that looks like a feather could bring it tumbling down, like London bridge or something.

Well looks like Iruki-bastard is busying himself in the car, hopefully calling animal control to come and pick up the strange green animal standing in front of me. "Now Sakura, I want you too call me Daddy at all times, alright? This will show off your awesome youth power and make the tears of joy flood from me eyes" Did he just ask me to call him Daddy?

"I'm sorry but I can't do that"

I can't. I can't call anyone else that besides him, my light, my guidance, my shelter, my dad. I'm surprised though, my words to this freak were so steady so calm, bah I'm thinking too much, that's the past it doesn't matter, you can't change the past. I think I heard those words in Lion King or some other Disney film, ha! I guess Walt really was full of corny cliché lines that held so much truth.

Looking back up at the persons standing before me I can see that his super hero pose has become somewhat deflated and a look of hurt is gracing his unique features. Well great now he's making me feel all guilty, maybe I'll explain it too him later but for now I need to clear the tense air. "It would be too embarrassing and I wouldn't feel comfortable at all" Well the nervous laugh that followed that line and my hand rising to scratch the back of my neck really added too the affect. See I'm a great actress and it seemed to ignite the gusto back into this freak.

"Ah, I apologize, very well you shall call me Gai or Gai-san if you wish and do not forget too put as much youthful energy into each word you speak!" AHHH! My eyes! My beautiful eyes, there burning, I'm blind. What the hell kind of pose is that, he must have been a member of the governments interrogation unit as just one look at that smiling set of pearly whites with the small ping that emits a glow as bright as the sun not to mention that damn arm thrown ahead with the ridiculous thumbs up would have any criminal spilling their guts just to make it stop.

"Gai-san here are all of Sakura's possession, I will be back in two weeks too check on her progress here in Konoha, please take good care of her" Iruki-bastard, thank you! I will build a large statue of you just so that I may worship the ground you walk on and I'll chant using a strange jumble of words all the while wearing an assortment of bright and freaky clothes. Why you may ask? Because you have saved me from having to gouge out my eyes with tiny little forks. I could kiss you, but you would be labeled a petifile and I would be required to receive intensive therapy.

"Wait? Did you say you're leaving me?" with this freak I'll add quietly. "Of course, weren't you listening, this is your new foster home, here in the town of Konoha, and Gai-san here is your new foster parent." You mean that wasn't a joke? How can someone like this green beast creature qualify to become a foster parent? I honestly think he's mentally insane but then again I'm not someone who can really say something like that.

"Well Sakura, this is goodbye for now, I'll leave any further explanations to Gai-san as he has been briefed on everything you need to know, but this being your ninth foster home I'm certain you already know the standard protocol that comes with each foster parent. Please behave, I have high hopes for you" Aww aren't you sweet and the cute little pat to the head just raises the sugar level to such an extreme that any diabetic would pale and die at the sight. Don't you understand how retarded you're being? You're leaving me with someone who'll probably end up killing me slowly with shiny pingy teeth, large eyebrows and green spandex. "But, but but…" Oooh my linguistic abilities rival that of Martin Luther King Jr. "No buts, I know you can do this" Thanks, I feel so much better but it's not a matter if I can do it, it's a matter of can the lunatic beside me. Bending down with your hand on my shoulder now eh? Wise guy aren't we, well you've been looking to get beat all morning so one swift punch to the jaw might knock some sense into you.

So what do you do when I raise my fist too hit you? You embrace me, what a dense guy to think that is was what I was initiating. Even though you're a bastard your kind, so just this once I'll allow this as the goodbye to the grief I've put you through today.

"Goodbye Sakura"

"Goodbye Iruka-san"

Yeah, and just this once, I'll call you by that name.

I don't really know what I'm feeling when I watch you smile at me as you put the car into reverse and slowly drive away. You offer me one last wave of the hand before you're zooming down the road vanishing into the distance with the roar of that crappy neon the last thing I hear until you cease to exist too my senses. I guess I feel a little sad, I can't explain it I mean hell we didn't really talk, in fact I think all I did was piss you off from the moment I stepped into that car, but I suppose it was the fact you showed me a type of kindness and concern foreign to my being since that day. I know we will meet again, that two week notice is a definite guarantee of that.

"Such a kind man eh Sakura-chan? Well anyways, lets get you set up, I've prepared a room for you, it's not much but I'm certain your youthful spirit will bring with it a certain zest to fill its walls." Oh right, I'm stuck with lima been here, hey I like that name, it certainly adds 'zest' too my boring list of names for you. I'm sighing, ha first day and I'm sighing, common Sakura look on the bright side, Iruki-bastard saved you the trouble of remembering what foster home number this was. Nine. I didn't think it had been that many already. Well lucky for me lima been here has some sense of chivalry as he is carrying all my things. Guess he's stronger than he looks to be able to lift those two suitcases. After all they probably weigh a tone with the crap I've carried around with me over the years, and even still those don't even contain my most important possessions. Oh no, those are placed in the knapsack currently residing on my back.

Well it looks like the green dude is already inside better hurry up before I get mulled by rampaging dirt squirrels or whatever else might litter the grounds of this place.

Stepping inside the uhh…house, it's actually a lot better inside than out, surprisingly enough. Wow, I thought it would be a lot smaller. Well let's see what we have, okay living room not too shabby, a nice forest green carpet with dark mahogany walls, little old fashioned but still alright. Well at least this freak can match a bit as the coffee and side tables compliment the wood adorning the walls perfectly, and the couches? Well they look comfortable…black? That's seems an odd choice for a guy so focused on youthful passion.

Why is it that I continuously find my mouth hitting the floor today? Well I can't really process that information right now as I think I've wandered off too la-la land. A recliner people, and not just any recliner a La-Z-Boy recliner, and too think they say all people who live in trailers are poor. I can hear the squeals of delight already erupting from my lips, just look at the fine detail on that bad boy. Black like the couches but leather, and from my angle I think I can see the controls for the massage option, and is that possibly a CD drive? Music, Halleluiah praise the lord! I wonder how many other neat little functions I will find once my feet glide me over to the goddess of all chairs. But ah that can wait for now, I better finish my self-guided tour. Apparently though I'm just going to continuously die and go to heaven today as my eyes have landed on the entertainment portion of this room. Judging from the look of things, it's a 42" plasma screen TV, with a surround sound, a DVD system is set up and is that Playstation 3? Is that even out yet? Who the hell is this guy and why would some rich freak dressed like a bad impression of Richard Simmons be living in such a crappy dump if he could afford stuff like this?

Seems I'll be privileged to a little detective work during my stay here. Roaming my eyes once again around the room it appears my earlier ideas of a tacky and horribly decorated room are only slightly correct as my pupils have found themselves upon the ugliest lamp I could have ever imagined. The twitch in my eye is starting to give me a headache but I could care less as another horror has graced my vision today. What the hell? Why oh why would this retarded celery stick looking man have a lamp that looked like that? It was, well how do I describe such a sight, disturbing maybe? I mean what sort of foster parent would be allowed to hold within their abode a lamp revealing to innocent eyes such as mine the naked flesh of a woman's leg complete with fishnet stockings and a garter adorning the top. How could I tell such a perverted piece of merchandise was a lamp, simple first there's a cord attached to the strappy black high heal that's hooked onto the foot of the contraption and second there's a glowing light coming from that woman degrading piece of garbage that makes me want to kick lima beans ass.

Breath in Sakura, just take deep breaths and continue on your merry way. Glancing to my left I noticed the kitchen beside me, perhaps I'll concentrate on that for the time being. Well the counter tops are black marble, funny I didn't think mister cheer could be so morbid. Well at least things look alright, except for a very disrespectful lamp that I am going to shove so far up that green ape's ass. Breath, just breath dammit. Okay moving onward, there's an island in the middle of the kitchen with pots and pans hanging above it and the cupboards match the walls and living room furniture, pfff how boring.

Ah! Now what do we have here? He, he, he, looks like I'll be able to put that big brain of mine to work seeing as the kitchens tiled floors are those of a black and white checkerboard, perfect for a large game of chess. I could be like Harry Potter, though I don't think I'll find people willing enough to knock one another out when their piece is captured. The fridge looks big and metal, how bland, I expected much more colour with this freak.

"Sakura-chan? Are you coming?" Guess this mini-tour has to end for now, bah it was boring anyway. Now where is that mentally retard celery? Ah ha! A hallway, kind of narrow buy meh, I'm not complaining. "Where are you Gai-san?" Hmm perhaps calling him that won't be so bad; I doubt he'll appreciate the names circulating within my brain anyways. "Glad to see you exert such enthusiasm too each task Sakura-Chan, I am in here" Turning too the door on my right I opened to find the familiar feeling of my mouth hitting the floor. To say I'm surprised would be an understatement. I don't think I've ever had such a nice room in my sixteen years of living on this earth. The light green walls held such a comforting feeling that I couldn't help but smile at the sight. I had removed my shoes when stepping into the house and my bare feet found the feel of the beige carpet beneath me to be soft creating an ultimate sensation of peace. Bah, what am I thinking, I'm leaving here shortly so there's not point in getting comfortable. Okay! Chin up, eyes front and now to find that green beast.

"Sakura-chan, what do you think of this green explosion of youthful vigor?" Standing by the bed eh? Thinking dirty thoughts are we Gai-san? Well maybe that's just me but I see you have already deposited my bags on that bed that looks oh so inviting. Queen size if I'm not mistaken, but the comforter matches the wall, same with the pillows, though the touches of white sheets and cushions adds a nice affect, I can honestly say Gai-san your nothing like the person you appear too be. Scanning the area again I notice the desk lying in the corner beside a large window covered by white curtains. Since when do such large windows, not to mention such space exist in trailers? I'll definitely look into this more. Moving onward I see you've also furnished this room with a bookshelf, probably littered with books on youth, and my own television set placed beside that. Two doors? Why two? Well one obviously a closet, but the other? Well I'll worry about that latter. "It's so…wonderful Gai-san…thank you"

I can honestly say I'm touched, it's nice too see someone put such effort into making another feel welcome. "Think nothing of it Sakura-chan, you are beautiful and full of youth and therefore deserve such a stunning and exquisite room to call your own, now I will allow you too unpack, seeing as the sun is about to set, I shall prepare dinner for us, now do you have any particular favourites?" I honestly can't remember the last time I've felt so carefree or happy, but hearing the words favourite food out of Gai-san's lips I don't think he'll ever understand how grateful I am at this moment. "Bowtie pasta" Yes that's right, the food of Kami-sama himself! Bowtie pasta is superb in everyway and exceeds all other pastas hands out. Many find my taste odd but that is simply because they are uneducated fools who couldn't possibly comprehend the sheer work that goes into creating the perfect dish of pasta. "Bowtie pasta?" Was that surprise? Is he insulting my choice? and too think I was going to let that leg lamp slide but if he utters one more – "What an excellent choice, I haven't had that in such a long time and it is one of my favourites too, ah Sakura-chan your youthfulness surprises me, I am positive this arrangement will work out" He's walking out the door and all I can offer is a feeble half ass smile…yeah workout.

Lying back in the bed, that as predicted was as comfortable as a giant marshmallow, I find myself pondering each and every aspect of my life. The conversation at dinner was rather enjoyable, I learned a lot about Gai-san and even discovered that our love for bowtie pasta was not the only quality we shared in common. For instance, green is also my favourite colour, well mainly the emerald colour found in my eye, always though it worked well with my bubblegum hair. Wouldn't it be cool if my hair actually was bubblegum? Well it would be sticky, probably run out of flavour eventually too, but still it's a fun idea, perhaps I could fit in at Willy Wonka's factory or something. Also Gai-san and I find it impeccable too keep up with physical fitness, though we both have a bit of a sweet tooth. He enjoys reading and he's officially my hero for when I mentioned my ability at the piano he insisted to purchase said instrument within the week. I guess he really is crazy.

He explained to me that he was actually a teacher at the local high school I would be attending, gym and geography being his areas of expertise. So that explained the money, teachers were paid high salaries after all. Since it was summer vacation for a few more weeks, Gai-san was still enjoying his holidays and had decided that he was somewhat lonely and desired some company thus bringing him to the Children's Aid foster program. As luck would have it he had wanted a person who is "bursting with youthful vigor" and since I was the only one available at the moment had been sent here. I was happy too hear that Gai-san was rather lenient with rules and asked only that I clean up after myself and be home before 1:00am on weekends and 11:00 on school nights. We covered all the basics about each other and I found myself starting to see the person behind those very fuzzy eyebrows and I can honestly say that I like my new living arrangement.

Its so sad, so tragic, I should probably write a poem or something, but right now I think I'll enjoy the time I have with Gai-san because I know that within a few weeks, months tops, that I'll be placed back within the care of Children's Aid, why? Because I am cursed and no matter what I do the curse of the girl destined to be alone, is one that not even the great Gai-san will be able to break.

So I'll lie here, hoping, hoping that I can stay here just a little longer because I know that this is going to be my most memorable foster home yet.

All I can say is, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…

Tsumii: Sooo? What do you think, I don't really like this chapter, ha its my first one too, but I found it to boring and I couldn't get the Sakura POV to fit the way I wanted it to but meh, its only the first chapter and I want this too take time and not rush into anything, I don't know if Sasuke or anyone else will appear in the next chapter, I want Sakura too take her time adjusting to Konoha, and therefore don't want to throw a whole bunch of characters at her at once. Why Gai? Quite frankly I have no idea, I mean they have like no interaction in the series but he always makes me chuckle and since I made Sakura slightly unstable in this fic I wanted to have a character that you can do anything crazy with and it would just fit, so yeah Gai seemed like a fun choice.

I'm not really sure if I'll continue you this, but meh will see, please review and tell me what you think!