-;-.!\.-;-
Chapter Six: Culmination
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Legolas had little difficulty assuring himself that Elladan would be unable to follow him. With his knowledge of the land he easily traversed the forest, halting his flight only upon reaching the topmost chamber of the tall Oak—far from Aragorn and the twins. He realized Aragorn would probably bring the twins back there eventually—but Legolas had nowhere else to go and he'd have to face them eventually in any case, whether it was sooner or later. If it made any difference, however, he would rather it be later.
His heart was torn by turmoil like he'd never known before, and it physically hurt. This world was supposed to be strong, safe, comforting. And then Aragorn had, literally, dropped into his life of shadows, and for the first time in years he'd found a shaft of light within it. He should have realized back then that things were beginning to crumble.
He bit his lip to hold back a groan; his leg throbbed mercilessly, as he had spared no time for rest in his trip across the forest.
What now? Strider doubtless knew by now what he'd been hiding, and he still wasn't sure himself why he cared so much. What did it matter if the human knew? Why did Legolas care what a human thought?
Why?
Because whether or not he had wanted to admit it to himself, it had felt great to have someone believe in him. It had felt great to be uninhibited. To feel like he could say something and the man wouldn't doubt him, or do something and not have doubt hanging on his capability. It had felt great to know that someone really wanted to be his friend; that someone really, truly cared about who and what he was, about how he felt and what he thought.
It had been bound to shatter. Every word Elladan had spoken in temper and haste had pierced through Legolas' façade like crossbow bolts, striking straight and true and wounding deep. Valar, what he would give just to have everything the way it was… If not when his mother was alive and his eyesight restored, then at least when he had been alone here, safe and secure in his comfortable seclusion.
Curled on his pine bough pallet in the darkness of both the room and his mind, Legolas tried to stifle the dry sobs breaking from deep within his chest as he pulled his knees up to his chin and buried his face in his arms.
He was so tired. So sick of it all. Of being empty inside and frozen beyond care.
He wanted to scream. Wanted to cry out at the injustice of it all, wanted to die. He just wanted to see again. He just wanted to be himself again.
He just wanted to live again.
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And I pretended everything was alright
Didn't want to show how hard it was simply not to cry
And I showed the world that I could be alright
Even though without myself I didn't felt alive
And I'm so blind
And everything's so clear
And I've been left behind
Looking everywhere but here
For what's been there all along…
-Stoked
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"And that's my side of things." Aragorn finished his retelling of the events of the last three months. "Now… Who is Legolas? Where's he from, and what happened to him?"
"It's not our place to tell you what happened to him." Elrohir repeated firmly. "But if he hasn't told you, I suppose you'll know soon enough that he's Legolas Thranduilion, of Mirkwood."
Aragorn gasped. "The son of Thranduil?" He repeated in surprise.
Elladan nodded. "Prince of Mirkwood… Supposedly, the late Prince of Mirkwood."
"So…" Aragorn had recovered from his initial shock. "He's just let everyone think he's been dead… For how long?"
"Close to twelve years now." Elrohir sighed, running a hand through his long, dark hair.
"Twelve years?" Aragorn echoed incredulously.
Elladan nodded, tracing a pattern in the dirt with the toe of his boot. "I shouldn't have said that to him…" He murmured guiltily. "Where do you suppose he's gone?"
"I've not the slightest." Aragorn shrugged. "But you should see where he's been living… Positively amazing. We should probably wait for him there, since he's bound to return sooner or later."
Elladan nodded and stood beside his twin brother, who had noticed Legolas' forgotten bow and picked it up.
"So he's kept it all this time, huh?" The younger twin laughed softly, running gentle fingers over the well-worn wood.
Elladan sighed and took it from him, inspecting it in kind. "He sent us running from many an archery match with our tails between our legs with this weapon… He was an amazing shot back then. Rumored to be Middle Earth's greatest archer."
"'Back then?'" Aragorn repeated, confused. "Should he be different now? He's still brilliant with it—I watched him shoot myself."
"What?" Elrohir stared at his brother, and Elladan demanded an explanation. "What do you mean, 'you watched him shoot'? With this? Today?"
"Yes! Is that… unusual? I don't see why that should surprise you…" The human defended, now thoroughly confused.
He received no explanation, but the twins both laughed fondly at what seemed to be a fact only they knew. "That's Legolas for you…" Elrohir murmured with a chuckle. "I should have guessed he'd find a way to…" He trailed off, irritating Aragorn as the man found himself still in the dark about the whole matter.
"Well, we should probably find him." The human said pointedly, whistling to call the confused Wolf to his side. Each deep in his own thoughts, Aragorn led them back to the Oak where he'd spent the winter with an elf whose past and personality seemed only to deepen with mystery the more he came to know him.
Hopefully, whatever words spoken from here on out would resemble explanations more than questions. Because the Valar only knew there'd been enough of those to last the man the rest of his life.
-;-.!\.-;-
What would I give to see again? Legolas asked himself. He needed to know for his own sake. Simply losing his ability to see had ripped away his entire world. If he could see again, did he truly think it would be restored? If he told himself the truth, he knew nothing could ever be the same again, whether he could see or not.
His mother had been murdered in front of his eyes. His father had shunned him. His home had turned its back.
No. No, nothing would ever be the same.
And so, he had no choice. After facing today, he had no other option but to keep going. With his haunted, empty existence, nights of restless turning and days of aimless wanderings, he would keep going. Because there was nothing else.
Strangely enough, there was still one thing; one realization reaching out to him through all of this. He may have lost his sight, but might he not have gained something far more precious? Aragorn had proven, time and time again, that he actually cared. Legolas had been cold, he had pushed him away, and yet the human had persisted, offering friendship with open hands and no strings attached.
He might be blind physically, but he had no excuse for his mental blindness towards the man he had saved, and then promptly shunned. As soon as possible, he determined, he would make things right with Strider—or Aragorn, or Estel… Whichever he preferred to be called.
Speaking of which… His keen hearing detected voices far below him, signaling that the trio had indeed found their way back. Doubtless, wanting answers.
Sighing and standing to straighten his tunic and compose himself, Legolas schooled his features into an indifferent mask. This would be hard enough without emotional interference.
Squaring his shoulders, he reached down and pulled up on the handle of the hatch.
-;-.!\.-;-
"This place is incredible…" Elrohir muttered as Aragorn led them into the bottom chamber of Legolas' stronghold.
"Typical." Elladan commented wryly in response. "Legolas would live in a tree…"
"So you both knew him well?" Aragorn queried patiently as his brothers gaped at the hand-hewn architecture of nature itself.
"Legolas is— Or I should say was, since I don't know what this entire matter has done to him— one of the purest, most beautiful souls left in Arda. Adar himself has said it, and we all know he does not make such statements lightly."
"Yes," The human conceded dryly. "But I have yet to discover what the 'entire matter' even is. In case you had both conveniently forgotten, I am the only one still in the dark about all this."
Aragorn led the way up the swaying ladder to the Fire room, where they were all surprised to see Legolas crouching by the hearth and stoking the dwindling flames.
An awkward silence dominated the chamber, which seemed entirely too small of a sudden despite the airy openness of the uncovered knotholes looking down into the valley. Legolas finished his work on the hearth and stood stiffly, pulling up a chair and dropping into it heavily, slightly favoring his left leg.
"Legolas?" Strider ventured at present, his voice small and uncertain.
Legolas beckoned them all forward. "Sit down." They did so, Legolas leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
"I'm just… sorry." He whispered aloud, cradling his head. "I'm sorry."
Elladan swallowed the lump in his throat, kneeling by the elf's chair and gripping his shoulder supportively.
The fire sputtered and crackled as a log scattered into ashes.
"Have you told him yet?" Legolas' voice was steady now as he regained his resolve, soft and resigned.
Elladan shook his head, then realized his mistake and answered verbally. "No, Legolas. We didn't. We didn't feel it was our place."
Legolas nodded, addressing the human. "Aragorn…"
Again, the strange churning returned to the man's stomach, warning him that he was about to be told something that afterwards, he might wish he no longer knew.
"Aragorn." Legolas continued firmly, eyes staring blankly ahead into the fire pit. "I owe you an apology. I've been lying to you."
Aragorn blinked.
"I am from Greenwood, but I have not told you that I was the son of Thranduil… King. I was once a prince…"
"And still are, Legolas." Elrohir inserted firmly. "Naught has changed in that respect."
Legolas sighed, but made no comment on this as he continued. "My mother was killed there…" Legolas' voice faltered. "In a surprise attack by a nearby clan of wild-men. They rebelled against our kingdom's boundaries, and ambushed a diplomatic envoy on its way to Imladris. My mother was in the party. I led the patrol that was to escort them."
Aragorn swallowed, knowing where this tale was going as Legolas' glazed, pained, eyes reflected horrific memories. The elf continued.
"I was the only one to survive… And then just barely. I don't know why it was me… I don't know why I didn't die with her… Perhaps it was punishment for what happened… I don't know."
Elladan and Elrohir glanced at each other in sorrow, since it was the first time even they had heard the entire story. Upon their arrival in Mirkwood, they had been privy only to second-hand accounts from healers, guards, and the warriors that had rescued the Prince. Not even the elves in Mirkwood knew what had really happened since, as had been explained, Legolas had been the only survivor.
"I saw the man that rushed at her with a scimitar…" Legolas was lost in memory now, even unaware of the others in the room with him. "I froze, for just one instant. I could have shot him down. But… I didn't. I was... I was weak. I let pain and weariness, and everything I shouldn't have felt in the middle of battle take over… And then a soldier—a human, on horseback struck me in the face with his blade…" Legolas swallowed hard and looked down, seemingly coming out of his trance.
"That was the last thing I ever saw." He whispered at last, and eerie silence permeated the room once again.
Even the twins were shocked, but of all of the things Legolas had said, one thing had struck Aragorn like a stone fist in the gut.
That was the last thing I ever saw…
It all made sense.
Too much sense.
The way the elf handled his staff, walking with it tapping the ground ahead of him. The way he never looked the man in the eye or accepted his physical gestures of friendship. The way he became edgy if Aragorn was too quiet while the man was in the room. Everything pointed towards it, and yet again, he had missed what was right before his nose.
"You're blind?" Aragorn exclaimed aloud a little sharper than he had meant to, but he instantly regretted it when Legolas flinched.
Elrohir shot him a disapproving glare, and Aragorn cringed.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean for it to sound like that—"
"No need." Legolas cut in sharply, his face cold once more as he glared into the shadows. "I know what you're thinking."
Legolas was ashamed of himself, for actions both past and present. Here he had resolved to simply tell the man and get it over and done with, and he had ended up making a pathetic fool of himself—telling not one but three people what he had kept locked up inside of himself for so long.
He was swift to reconstruct his barriers of indifference, but inside, he just hurt. More than ever now that it was all out in the open.
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"There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's alight that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away
Maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind."
-Three Doors Down
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Aragorn didn't know whether to be horrified or relieved.
"You have no reason to be sorry." Elrohir whispered firmly from across the fire pit. "The fact of the matter is that you lived. Imagine your father's grief if he had been told that not only his wife, but his only son were no longer living? It would have killed him, Legolas."
"He didn't care about me…" Legolas whispered, and Aragorn felt is heart clench in pity as Legolas tried, and desperately failed to hold up his crumbling façade. The elf… The Prince, was torn apart inside, and he dearly needed the comfort that had been so long denied him.
"Of course he cared, Legolas!" Elrohir assured the elf, "What you were unaware of is that he did not know! He didn't know until our party arrived and my father forcefully entered his chambers. He was so consumed by grief that he hadn't even heard of your blindness yet."
"He…he didn't know..?" Legolas haltingly sought conformation as he gathered himself with a deep breath.
"No." Elladan picked up. "He was devastated when he found out that the entire time he'd been grieving, you'd been struggling with your own ailment. When he discovered you were missing…"
Elrohir picked up again where his brother trailed off. "The entire kingdom searched for you for years… We all did. We looked everywhere, even to the border of the mountains."
"But… I left… How can he forgive me for that?"
"The pressure was too much, even for you. You and your father were both going through hard times; he simply didn't realize that you were in just as much pain as he. Grief can blind people too, Legolas. " None of them missed the intentional metaphor in Elrohir's words. "You had no-one to support you when you needed it most. Many would have taken far more drastic action than you did."
Legolas groaned, leaning over his knees and running the long fingers of one hand through his hair.
"I… I don't know what to do…" He whispered aloud, bewildered.
"Come back with us, Legolas." Aragorn urged.
Legolas' sightless eyes came up now, a mirthless smile flitting across his features. "What about you, Aragorn?"
"What about me?"
"After all this time, nothing to say? No comments, questions?"
Aragorn reddened slightly. "No, no—And I fear I owe you an apology for that."
"Yes—" Elladan tried to lighten the mood, "The human has an abnormal fear of silence. He feels he needs to always be talking—" The twin grinned under Aragorn's returned glare.
Elrohir cleared his throat pointedly to bring the bickering brothers back to the levity of the situation.
"Legolas…" Aragorn addressed the quiet figure, who, despite being surrounded by friends who only wanted to help, seemed completely frightened and alone. "You do have a home waiting for you. You have a father who loves you, and a kingdom that misses you. They all miss you sorely and want you back with them."
He paused. "And Legolas, this changes nothing between us. If anything, you have even more of my respect and awe. Even without sight, you have lived here on your own for years, looking out for yourself, and even me when I lived up to my human nature." He added with twinkling eyes and a glance at his brothers. "You can live, shoot, and fight with as much skill as any sighted person, if not more for your reliance on the world around you." Aragorn paused to glance at the twins, now flanking the prince. "But you can't go on like this. It'll kill you, if not physically, then emotionally."
Aragorn watched in discouragement as Legolas simply sat there numbly, showing no response to the human's words.
Strider sighed. "It's time you let someone help you, Legolas. Admitting that is not weakness. Let us help you." He gently took Legolas' hands from where they were wrapped around himself. "Let me help you."
Legolas raised his sightless eyes to meet the human's, and Aragorn was stunned at the depth and volume of the turmoil within them. It was the first time Legolas had ever looked him in the eyes, and now that Aragorn knew why this was, it was all the more astounding that he was able to do so now.
"No-one's ever wanted to." Legolas whispered, his voice breaking along with his resolve as one crystal tear spilled from his brimming eyes to trace a lonely path down his pale cheek.
Unable to contain himself, Elrohir knelt beside Legolas and wrapped his arms tightly around the Prince. Even Elladan nearly lost his composure at seeing the stoic warrior with silent tears running down his face.
Legolas sighed deeply, letting out a long shuddering breath as he buried his face in Elrohir's tunic and let himself relax. Aragorn smiled, gripping the Prince's shoulder supportively. Legolas' free hand came up to grip Aragorn's firmly in return, and then the Prince looked up at him.
"Thank you…" Legolas whispered, and smiled— A real, full smile that lent light to his face and brilliancy to sightless eyes. "…Mellon-nin."
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Wow! I'll bet all y'all wondered if I'd fallen off the face of the planet, huh? Well, to make a long story short and basically inform everyone who probably couldn't care less, I've been so busy with school, music lessons, and home reconstruction, that I haven't posted in... Well how long has it been? I don't even remember; a couple of months at least! There have also been some security issues, if you know what I mean, so I had to lay low for a while and change my pename. But I'll be sixteen tomorrow (Yay!) so I wanted to end off the year in a good way with all my fans! I love you all, and I wish like heck I had time to reply to reviews, but if you want an update at all you'd better take what you can get:-)
Love you all-- (Vote for Kellie Pickler for AI!)
-GoA