"Excuse me?" She asks, her voice tearing him out of his thoughts. "Did I think what was better? Lilly being alive? Of course I-" The palm of his hand is covering her mouth, and she's tempted to bite down, but with her luck, that would be what Duncan would walk in on, not during their previous 56 minutes of silence.
"That's not what I meant, Veronica." He replies, his voice low. Her eyes shoot daggers in his direction, and though his lips barely quirk, she can see the laughter in his eyes. "Now, if I take my hand away, will you let me finish?" His tone is teasing, and she knows that it's partly for her sake. But as she looks in his eyes, she can't help wondering if he really will. Finish that is, and when he does, if it'll be what he'd really intended to say in the first place. Somehow, she doubts it. She nods once, for effect, even though she can tell he was going to take his hand away eventually. And when he does, it's almost instinctive that she misses the contact. You're losing your grip, Mars.
"Go ahead, Logan." She mutters, her bored tone the work of perseverance. You say it in the bathroom mirror once; you say it a thousand times.
"I was just thinking…" His voice trails off for a moment, and his fingers snake up to rub the back of his neck. It's something she's seen him do a million times, and yet her lips still part as she watches him, shocked to the core that this little habit of his can affect her so much. "Your hair." He finally finishes, a little forlornly, gazing at her intensely as her fingers graze the tips of it.
"You were thinking about my hair?" The tone in her voice is one she's always used when dealing with him and his bouts of insanity, but this time, it doesn't work. She can tell by the way he doesn't stop looking at her. And also, by the way she almost doesn't want him to.
"It's long." His voice is flat, and he's still looking at her, seemingly trying to find the answers to some question hidden in the depths of her eyes. She doesn't know the answer, though. Hell, she doesn't know the question.
"Hair grows, Logan." She responds, fingering her hair more forcefully, and trying not to twist it around her fingers. Stupid nervous habit, there's nothing to be nervous about.
"Okay." He responds, but he's shaking his head as he does. He keeps glancing back at the photo on top of the television, knots forming in his stomach as he realizes just how far she has regressed.
"You're saying Okay, but you don't look Okay. What does the length of my hair have to do with anything, Logan?" Her nerves are on edge. The proximity to him as well as the way he keeps looking at her are enough to have her Spider sense tingling. Something is definitely going on.
"I loved Lilly." He says, and for a moment, before it registers, it's like a slap in the face. The jealousy that curls up within her is as foreign as well as it is disturbing. Being jealous of your dead best friend is so not the greatest way to end a night.
"I know, Logan." She whispers, her eyes downcast. "You know what, I think I'm gonna go." She's standing now, inching away from him slowly, but he doesn't seem to realize it. "I am sorry." Without thinking, she lets her fingers span his cheek. It's her touch that surprises him out of his reverie.
"Don't." If it had been anyone else-Hell, if had been him any other time, she would have laughed and walked faster. But that haunted look in his eyes, the one she's so familiar with because it's a mirror image of her own…She sits back down, her fingers gripping the strap of her bag, like steel. The second Duncan walks through the door, she's out of there. "She was my life," He's saying, his words permeating through the thick haze of her resolve. She nods, swallowing the lump in her throat uncomfortably. It's stupid to be hurt by this now. She knows it all; she lived through Hurricane Lilly right there with him. "But sometimes," He continues on, as oblivious to her pain as he is to the damage he's inflicting on himself, his nails digging bloody grooves into the skin of his palm. Without thinking, she grasps his hand in hers, and though he looks at her, she can tell its not really her he sees. "But sometimes, I just…I couldn't do it. I didn't want her gone; I just wanted, I dunno, a little peace or something. And Lilly didn't know the meaning of the word." She nods, to placate him mostly, but also because beneath the surface of her memory of their idealistic friendship, Lilly had been something. Something else. A veritable landmine when she was annoyed, and when she was angry, Veronica had learned to steer clear. But still, a best friend was a best friend. And besides Wallace, Lilly was the best she'd ever had.
"I'm sorry, Logan." She whispers, all at once glad she hadn't called before she came over. They were rarely alone lately, something she had carefully orchestrated, but that he'd done too, avoiding her at all costs. It hurt, that.
"And now, you're growing out your hair, and fading into the background again, and I just…I'd hate to see you lose everything you worked so hard to get last year." She drops his hand as she stares at him, the fire in her eyes sparking, anger oozing from every pour.
"Fading into the background?" She exclaims, standing. She can't be that close to him anymore, it's messing with her mind too much. Her hands are shaking so hard that her knuckles are turning white, but she can't help it. "Is that what you think? That just because I'm not dating you anymore, I'm fading into the background? Of all the conceited arrogant, assholic things you could have said-"
"Veronica-" He reaches up to touch her, but she backs away her chin setting firmly.
"Don't touch me. I am not fading into the background. I am happy. Last year was the hardest of my entire life and you want me to go back there? Are you crazy?" Somewhere inside she realizes that she's screaming, and fleetingly wonders if the Neptune Grand has soundproof walls. She certainly hopes so.
"Veronica," He's standing now, walking closer to her, towering over her, and all she wants to do is run. It's what she does best, and she's got it down to an art. She can't back down now, though. He can't be right. She won't let him. "I never wanted you to be unhappy." She scoffs at this, and would turn and run out the door this very second, if he wasn't pressing her against it. Her fingers grip the silver handle and if he moves, even an inch, she'll be free.
"But you think that being with Duncan is making me unhappy. That I'm falling into some sort of time warp where I'm small and scared and in Lilly's shadow?" She doesn't pause to consider the validity of this, even as it catches something inside her. "In case you've forgotten Logan, Lilly's gone. She's dead. And there's no one's shadow to fall behind." Tears are welling behind her eyes now, and even as she's blinking them back, willing them away, one escapes her ministrations and slips haphazardly down her cheek.
"Veronica," He murmurs, leaning a scant inch forward to cup her cheek. Before his fingers can even touch her skin, she's pulling down on the door handle and stumbling into the hallway. Duncan, walking out of the elevator is visibly surprised to see her.
"Duncan!" She exclaims, wiping her eyes discreetly. Her excitement fizzles though, when he vacantly kisses her forehead and moves to step into the suite.
"You don't mind not spending the night, do you babe?" He asks, not even bothering to turn around and look at her. Her cheeks burn. She can feel Logan's eyes on her. "I'm really beat." Without even bothering to listen to her response in the affirmative, he slips inside, patting Logan on the shoulder as he goes. She hazards a look up at him, his eyes boring into hers. Without a word, she runs to the elevator, eternally grateful that it only takes a moment for its doors to open.
"Veronica!" He calls out again, and his eyes are the last thing she sees before the doors close.