Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. All I own is my original characters and settings that will come up later is the story.

I am rewriting/adding parts of this story to improve it and get rid of inconsistencies. If you see any let me know. Tell me if it's improved if you've read it before. And if you're a 'virgin', so to speak, just drop a line and tell me how it's going.

I'm going to make a calendar and post it on my website to explain the time duration of all this. There are days in between some of the chapters that explain Harry's changing behavior. As time goes by he's adjusting to his environment. I'll post a note when it's up. It might take some time.

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The Great Hall was filled with anxious students waiting for their classes to start and comparing schedules.

Ron was ecstatic. "No potions. None at all. Not all year."

"We get it Ron." Ginny smacked the back of his head. "You can stop now."

"Ow. Back off Ginny." He rubbed the back of his head. "I was only commenting on my schedule. I bet that Harry agrees that it's bloody brilliant not having potions this year."

Harry sighed. The pills were wearing off already. "I do have potions."

Ron chocked on his piece of toast. "What?!"

Was I being unclear? Did I stutter? "I'm taking potions. It's my first class."

Ron couldn't seem to control his mouth that decided what it really wanted to be was a fish. "Why?"

Why can't they all leave me alone? He slammed his fist on the table. "Because I need it!" Hermione jumped and he sighed and laid his hand flat on the table. "Plus, I like potions."

Ron's eyes jumped from his hand to his face. "No you don't. You hate potions."

Do I have to spell everything out? Why can't he just accept that some things change? "I hated potions class, not the subject."

"That doesn't make any sense."

Harry rubbed his forehead. This day was never going to end. He wiped the sweat off on his robe. "It doesn't matter. I need to take it and I don't think it's so bad anymore."

Ron went back to eating like it didn't matter anymore. "Mate, I think you need to be taking some of those drugs in your room. You sound psychotic to me."

Hermione dropped her fork. It clattered against the plate and everyone's head swung toward her. She stared at the two of them until everyone turned away. "What drugs?"

Harry chucked his fork at his plate. He missed and it thudded dully against the wood. "You couldn't keep your bloody mouth shut, could you?"

"What are you yelling at me for? You're the one who has been lying to us since you saw us on the train." People were starting to turn back.

Hermione pushed Ron back onto the bench. "Guys, stop it! Harry, what's going on?"

Hermione's hair brightened by shades until it was white. He blinked until it went back to normal. "Nothing."

Hermione scanned him and frowned. "What drugs Harry?"

He grabbed his fork and speared a sausage. "Heroine, cocaine, LSD, you name it. If Ron had kept his bloody mouth shut--"

Hermione blinked then took a deep breath and bit into her toast. "You know, I almost believed you for a second."

The sausage oozed grease from the holes the fork made in it flowing down the plate toward the eggs that smelled like they'd spent a week in the fridge with spoiled milk. Harry pushed his plate back. "What gave me away?"

She shrugged. "No shaking, sweating, or bloodshot eyes. Your acting was flawless though. Do me a favor?"

He dug his fingers into the back of his neck. "What?"

She leaned across the table and smacked his arm. "Don't do that again. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Harry smiled. "Sorry. I promise not to do it again." He held up three fingers. "Scout's honor."

Hermione coughed and gulped half her glass of water. "Scout's? Well that explains a lot. Well, your attitude at least." She set her glass back down. "So the drugs, let me guess, Valium?"

Does she know everything? "How did you--"

"--know that you went through a lot last year? Plus, I kind of have a bottle of my own at home." She grimaced and shrugged.

Little miss perfect has happy pills? "What?"

She waved her arm around. "I refused to take them. Dad wanted them around just in case."

Just in case. Just in case you break again. Just in case you attack another professor. "I hate that phrase. Just in case. Why don't they just say what they mean? We know you're going to have a nervous breakdown so we don't want to be far from a way of drugging you into oblivion." His fingernails scored the skin of his neck. He jerked his fingers away, the marks stinging.

Hermione set her fork down slowly. "That's a little strong."

Great. She's looking worried again. Am I going to have to spend all my time lying to reassure people I'm fine? Harry smiled. "I've been told that overreacting makes things sound more fun."

Hermione shook her head. "You are a strange one Harry Potter."

And it almost feels like home. "Yes." He set his bent elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands. "But that's why you love me."

"Ow." Lila lay on the ground.

Harry took her hands and pulled her to her feet.

"Thank you Jamie," she whispered and hurried away.

He put his hands under the table and unfolded the paper she had left in his hand.

Jamie,

Be careful in potions today. A blond boy, I think his name is Draco, will say something that makes you angry and you will make you potion explode. Cali said to warn you about Wicca magic stuffs like that. Hugs and kisses.

- Little Morgie

"Everything okay Harry?" Hermione swung her bag onto her back.

He picked up his bag and shoved the paper in the front pocket. "Yep. We'd better get going to potions. I'll see you later Ron."

He slumped in his seat and pushed his plate back. "Yeah. Later."

The dungeons were cold as usual. He sat next to Hermione in the front row.

Malfoy sat between Crabbe and Goyle opposite them snickering.

Snape walked in and everyone shut up. "This class is not for the weak-hearted. I expect you to do the work and to do it well. I will not accept any slacking off. Let us begin." He waved his wand at the chalkboard. "You have forty minutes to complete this potion."

Harry tilted his head. That potion looked familiar. Oh. It was a basic healing potion. Harry read through the directions, chopped ingredients, and started the healing potion base.

"I don't know how you would get into this class after taking remedial potions last year." Malfoy dropped dandelion root into his cauldron. "Dumbledore probably forced his way into the class."

Harry took a deep breath. There is no need to freak out. You weren't in remedial potions. You made it into the class because you're good at potions. Everything is okay. He dropped two newt eyes into the cauldron.

Snape sneered at him. "Mr. Potter. Was there anything in the directions on the board that told you to add newt eyes?"

Malfoy and his cohorts were laughing.

Harry blinked. Shit. He'd screwed it up. Malfoy was right. He shouldn't be in the class. He shouldn't even--wait. "No, but the newt eyes will cause the potion to heat up quicker and allow the potion to cook longer before adding the final ingredient. That will make the healing potion about seven times stronger."

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. "Who said this was a healing potion?"

Malfoy sneered at him from behind Snape's back and laughed.

Snape didn't even turn. "Quiet Mr. Malfoy. Well Mr. Potter?" He wasn't sneering or glaring. Just looking at him. It was just a question.

Harry took a deep breath. Just don't look at his eyes and everything will be fine. "It's the basic formula for a healing potion. Adding different sets of ingredients will adapt the potion for age, species, and medical ailment. If you add mold you get a crude approximation of penicillin which unfortunately taste like grape for some unknown reason." He dropped the fourth ingredient in.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Very good Mr. Potter. I suppose it was inevitable that you'd eventually get something right." He turned and walked by the Slytherins. "Mr. Malfoy, I see very little chance that you will manage to save this potion."

Malfoy glared at Harry as he adjusted the heat and dropped ingredients in.

Hermione scooted her chair over. "How did you know all that?"

Harry shrugged. Was this one of the things I'm not supposed to tell anyone? I suppose if I keep it at the theory level it will be okay. "History of Potion making and basic chemistry. You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff I learned to make."

Hermione stifled her smile and leaned over her cauldron as Snape looked over. "Like what?"

Harry stifled a laugh and leaned closer. "We made a gender bender potion. It changes your sex for three hours."

Hermione gaped and dropped something into her cauldron. "Did you take it?"

"No." Harry bit his lip. "We slipped it to Cali's dad just before potions class."

Hermione's eyes widened. "That's horrible. How angry was he?"

Harry shook his head. "Not a bit. It was great. He put on a dress and congratulated us on our potion making. I love him."

Hermione moved back over and started chopping. "I can't believe you would do that. Especially to someone you like."

"It was all in fun. It's not like we did it to embarrass or humiliate him." He leaned to her ear. "Though I will admit that I've become a little to American for my own good."

Hermione glanced around. Dean was chopping nervously behind them. Snape went on and on about Gryffindor stupidity as he stalked around the back of the room. "So you were in America this summer?"

Answer quickly because if Snape hears the answer or even the question he'll kill you. "Yeah." I'm going to get someone killed. Shit. Why didn't I just say I couldn't tell her? Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut?

Her eyes were glittering with excitement. She'll never let it go if I tell her I don't know. She'll just bug me for information forever and search in every book she can get her hands on. "Where?"

Harry shrugged. Snape's desk jerked to the side before settling back to its normal place. "It doesn't really matter. It's a secret anyway. The school is hidden in plain sight so they don't like people knowing how to find them."

Hermione pulled herself back to the middle of her seat. "Oh." She dropped in the last ingredient. "What did you learn? Besides potions and chemistry I mean."

Harry stopped his eyes from trying to blink to clear the white light slowing creeping inward. "Biology, physics, a lot of history, and magic theory." It's great if she thinks all I did was work, but if she tells Ron that I'll never hear the end of it. "Plus, I watched movies, listened to music, and read an insane amount of Shakespeare."

Hermione stirred seven times counterclockwise. "What do you mean magic theory?"

The potion turned green and he added the powdered bark. "Instead of learning spells you learn how and why the spells work. That way, in theory, you can create you own spells based on the core formula."

She nodded and wrinkled her forehead. "That sounds interesting. I probably wouldn't have wanted to come back either."

Harry sighed. "You know I love you guys, and I love Hogwarts. But it was the people that made me want to stay there. No one knew who Harry Potter was and no one cared. It was nice."

Snape's robes billowed, nearly filling the aisle as he returned to the front of the room. "Fill a bottle with your potion and bring it to my desk."

Harry filled his bottle and put it near the center of Snape's desk where Malfoy couldn't knock it off. He pulled a bunch of bottles out of his bag and emptied the rest of his potion into them.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione waved her wand and the rest of her potion disappeared.

I suppose telling her I can use them as a base for other potions would only make her want to know what potions I was planning on making. That won't help anything. "I'll send them to Mom so she won't have to make more. I kind of decimated her supply of healing potions this summer." Oops. That would make her worry. Damage control. "She'd rather be making pies then potions. Who knows? Maybe she'll send me a pie in exchange. I love pie." He put the bottles in his bag. "Where are we off to next?"

Hermione looked nervous but she nodded and didn't ask him if he was okay. "Transfiguration."

"Let's go then." Harry took her hand and pulled her out of the dungeon.

There were few Slytherins in the room. "Ron! Hey, how was your first class?" He sat next to him in the first row.

Ron shrugged. "It was fine. It doesn't seem like classes will be as bad as last year."

"Yeah." Harry stuck his arm up to his shoulder into his bag.

Ron laughed. "What are you looking for Harry?"

Harry frowned. "My wand. It should be in here somewhere." Last year I never would have let it out of my sight. I should keep it closer. That way I won't be as tempted to do wand less magic. He pulled it out. "Here it is." He dropped it on top of his books.

McGonagall waked in. "Welcome everyone. I know you're all probably a little rusty, so let's start with some review from last year." She demonstrated the invisibility charm and then passed out mice to practice on.

Hermione made the mouse invisible on the first try. It took Ron three. Harry looked at his little white mouse and tried a fifth time. He could feel the magic everywhere, but he couldn't make the wand work.

Hermione and Ron's turtles were belching steam from blue and pink porcelain spouts respectively.

McGonagall clapped her hands. ""All right. That's very good. I'm glad you remember what you've learned. I'll see all of you next class." They started chattering like chipmunks as they threw books into their bags. "Mr. Potter, I'd like to see you for a moment please."

Hermione and Ron returned their turtles and looked at Harry.

Oh look. The poor Harry look. I really missed that. "You guys go. I'll meet you in the great hall."

"Are you sure?" Ron lingered in the doorway.

Harry picked up his white mouse and petted its head. "I'm sure."

McGonagall closed the door behind Ron. "Mr. Potter, your performance today--"

"Was pathetic." He set the mouse down in the box. "I couldn't channel the magic through my wand."

"Do you believe there's something wrong with your wand?" McGonagall looked worried. Why? It's not like this wand will do me much good against Voldemort anyway. We can't even cast spells at each other.

It's me. I can't channel the internal magic. I'm not used to it anymore. "No. My wand is fine."

She nodded and her frown relaxed as much as it ever did. "Mr. Potter, whatever help you need I am here to offer." I don't think I've ever seen McGonagall play with the edges of her robe. "However, if this problem continues I'm afraid I will have no choice but to ask you to leave the class."

Oh. That's why she's nervous. Wouldn't want to kick the wizarding world's precious golden boy out of class. How would he manage to turn an animal into a goblet for Voldemort then? Harry sniffed and picked up his bag. "You really want to help?" He waved his hand over the box of mice and they disappeared. He waved his hand again and they reappeared. "Tell me why I should bother with a wand." He shut the door behind him.

"What did she say?" Ron's plate was already half empty.

Harry dropped his bag and sipped at his juice to swallow the pills under his tongue. "That if I keep sucking she'll kick me out of her class."

Ron looked horrified. "What was the problem? You could do the spells last year. You're probably just out of practice."

Thanks Ron. That's very helpful. "Yeah." He moved the cross back and forth on the chain. He dropped it back to his chest. "Oh, no fucking way."

Hermione smacked his arm. "Harry, language."

He yanked the necklace off, dropped it on the table, and pulled out his wand. The plate disappeared and left the food seemingly suspended in air.

Ron patted his shoulder. "See mate. I told you all you needed was practice."

Hermione picked up the necklace. "What is this?"

Well now she knows it's not just a necklace. You'd think I'd be better at all this secret stuff by now. I mean no one knows the whole truth about the Dursely's. "An open magical connection feeding off my internal reserves. So I couldn't cast the spell because the magic was being redirected and probably sending spikes of magic through the link."

Hermione frowned. Oh please let Cali have the other one toned down far enough that she couldn't feel anything. "That girl, Cali, has the other one doesn't she?"

"Yes."

She held it by the base of the cross and turned it around. "I didn't think anything like this was possible."

Harry squeezed his fingers around his leg. "A lot of things become possible when Cali is involved. She spent three years trying to figure out how to make muggle appliances work in magical environments without electricity."

Her head whipped back to him. "Did she manage it? I tried and couldn't get anything to work for even a second."

"Yeah, but it involves rebuilding them entirely inside a magical environment. It's very time consuming. It gives her something to do when she's not in class." He rubbed his temples. "I--I need the necklace back."

"What? But if it's interfering with your magic then why would you wear it?" She gestured toward the doors. "You won't be able to do the spells in Charms later."

Harry lunged and grabbed the necklace out of her hand. He clutched it in his fist.

Hermione's eyes were wide. "Harry?"

"I just need a--I just--I'm fine. I'm fine." He clasped the necklace around his neck. "We should go before we're late for class."

Hermione bit her lip. "Harry, you didn't eat anything."

"I'm not hungry. Let's go." He grabbed his bag and headed for the doors. They scrambled to grab their stuff and follow him. He sprinted across the lawn. "Hi Hagrid!"

"Harry!" Hagrid pulled him into a hug. "How are you?"

Hug expectance for the year raised. "I'm good. How are you?"

"Well I am just fine. Did you decide to continue with Care of Magical Creatures?"

"You bet your ass I did. I read all these books this summer about some of the most rare animals in the world. It was fascinating. Have you ever seen a panda bear? They're totally non magical, but there are only like one thousand left and they only live in China."

"I see." Hagrid scratched his head.

"What are we doing today?" Harry wrapped the cross in his fist, bouncing on his toes. He pulled a caramelo bar out of his pocket, dropping the cross. "Why are they here?"

"What?" Hagrid looked around and turned toward the forest. "Hello. Can I help you?"

Four centaurs stood at the edge of the trees. Harry ran over and stood in front of them. He smiled and held out his arm. "Chocolate?"

The largest centaur stepped forward and rested his hand on Harry's head.

"Harry, I think you should step back." Hagrid stepped forward.

The centaur narrowed his eyes. "I will not hurt him. I think he is the one that will hurt you."

"That's ridiculous. Come on Harry. It's time for class." Hagrid's fist was clenched.

The students were huddled together behind Hagrid.

The centaur's eyes were green. He brushed the hair off his scar. "The ripples are affecting everything in the forest. The unstable power is causing the creatures to flee the safety of the forest. The balance must be restored." His hand dropped to the necklace.

Harry leapt backwards and whipped out his wand. "Stay the fuck away from me. Balance my ass." He stuffed his wand in his pocket, clenched the cross in his hand, and stalked up to the centaur with his teeth clenched. "I am fine and happy and this is my necklace. I have had enough with people screwing with me. If you don't like my power you can screw off." He spun around and stalked back to everyone else.

Hagrid put a hand on his shoulder and pulled Harry behind his back. "Are you okay Harry?"

He dropped the cross and took a deep breath. Stupid horses. "Yes. I'm fine."

The centaurs turned and galloped into the forest.

Hagrid pushed him toward the others. "All right everyone. Let's start class. Today we're going to look at some interesting creatures."

Harry hooked his necklace as the students filed out of Charms.

Professor Flitwick hopped down from his stool. "That was some very impressive work today Mr. Potter."

I can do everything anyone else can do and more. I'm so far ahead of this that it's like child's play. "Thank you."

He drifted through the halls toward the tower. Not many students were wandering the halls today.

Hermione pulled him away from the Fat Lady and into a closet.

"Why Hermione, I had no idea you felt this way about me."

"Lumos."

"And Ron. I'm flattered, really I am."

Ron snorted. "What happened today Harry?"

Harry squinted. "What do you mean?"

Ron's eyes widened and he laughed. "What do I--the centaurs Harry. What did they say to you?"

Harry scratched his forehead. That? He was worried about that? That was forever ago. "It was nothing."

Hermione pushed her hair behind her ear. "Centaurs don't leave the forest for nothing Harry."

"Well then maybe I don't want to talk about it." He pushed them out of the way and ran from the tower. He slowed down and kept walking. The dungeons were cold. Drafts blew down the corridors. The door to the potions classroom was open a crack. Harry knocked.

"Come in if you must."

Harry pushed the door closed behind him.

"Do you need something Mr. Potter?"

He glanced around the room. Why had he even come down here? "I--I want to try and learn occulmency again."

Snape laid his quill on his desk. "Why? You didn't have much desire to master it last year."

Harry followed a crack in the stone floor. "I killed him."

"What?"

He clenched his hands on the edge of a table. "I'm a snotty English brat who thinks he knows better than everyone around me. I didn't want to listen and a man is dead. I don't want to kill anyone else."

Snape stood and moved around the desk. "While I am loathe to disagree with the first half of what you said, you did not kill Sirius Black."

His hands were shaking. "He wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me. If I had just stopped the dreams he would still be alive."

"You cannot know that." Snape wasn't even mocking him anymore. How sad did you have to be for that to happen?

He squeezed the table harder. "But I do. I feel it. I just want to make sure I can't hurt anyone else." He pushed away from the table. "If you won't help me I'll find another way to keep everyone safe." He opened the door.

"I'll meet you in my office after dinner."

Harry rested his forehead against the door. "Thank you." He closed the door behind him. He walked through the corridors and passed the stairs leading to the tower. Since when am I not afraid of Snape? The front doors were open. He shrugged and skipped down the steps and sat under the tree where his father had played with the snitch. He pulled out his books and started writing his essays. An hour later he shoved the books into his bag and pulled out his history book and highlighter. He rested the book on his bent knees and highlighted the title of the chapter. 'Etruscan religious rites.'

"Harry?"

He highlighted the last line and closed the book. "Hey Hermione. I'm sorry about before. I--I'm a little claustrophobic. I overreacted."

She leaned against the tree. "You missed dinner."

Was that random or not? "I'm not--dinner's over?"

Hermione slid down beside him. "Yes."

"Fuck." He grabbed his bag and shoved his bag into it. "I'm late." He jumped up and slung the bag over his shoulder.

Hermione stood and grabbed his arm. "Late for what?"

"I have to meet Snape. I'll talk to you later." He pulled away and bolted over the lawn and down the stairs to the dungeon. He pushed through the door.

"You're late Potter." Snape set down his quill dripping with red ink.

Harry dropped his bag by the wall. "Sorry. I got caught up in Etruscan religious rites and lost track of the time."

"What?" Harry smothered a laugh. He'd managed to confuse Snape.

Oh no. Do I really have to explain it? I don't think I'll confuse anyone anymore. He shrugged. "History work. I figured I had to learn muggle stuff in case I ever want to run from the magic world."

Snape stood and walked toward the wall. "Why would you do that?"

Oh, more questions with answers they don't want to hear. Goody. "Why--never mind. It's not important. Can we start?"

Snape looked him up and down. "Do you remember what to do?"

"Yes." Harry lifted his wand. "Oh. Wait." He unhooked the necklace and tossed it into his bag. "Okay."

"Legilimens!"

Uncle Vernon grabbed his arm and pushed him into the cupboard. "Stay in there boy!"

"No, please. It's dark." The spider bite on his cheek throbbed. "There are spiders. Please, don't make me go back in there."

Uncle Vernon slammed the door. His voice came through the vent. "Stop your whining. No one cares boy." He slammed the grate shut.

His knees slammed into the stone. "Damn it!" He slammed his fists against the ground. He pushed himself up. "Again."

Snape shook his head. "Mr. Potter--"

"I can do this!" His head was throbbing.

He lowered his wand. "You have to calm down. Release all your emotions."

The potions on the shelves pulsed with magic. It flowed out into the air and through the walls.

"Legilimens!"

The fingers trailed up his back.

"No!" The power exploded from his mind.

Snape flew backward and slammed into the wall.

Harry fumbled with the doorknob.

"Potter!" Snape froze, arm outstretched. His eyes darted around.

Harry wrenched the door open and ran. He caught himself on his hands but smashed his knee against the stair.

"Harry?" Hagrid towered over the assembled professors in the main hall.

Dumbledore stepped forward revealing Fudge and two aurors. "Harry--"

"Mr. Potter you would think that after all this time you wouldn't find it so hard to follow the rules." Fudge moved forward at the same pace as his guards.

"Harry are you all right?" McGonagall uncrossed her arms.

Fudge tugged on his pants. "Of course he's not. He knows he's guilty."

They were blocking the doors. "Guilty of what?" The tremors shook his arms.

Fudge smiled. His breath stunk up the air. There wasn't enough air. "Mr. Potter, Harry, let's not play these childish games."

They were all moving closer. "I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about."

"Don't play stupid Harry." Fudge pulled a silver cross out of his robes. "We've already confiscated your little friend's half of this. I don't know how the two of you got involved in this together but it's disgraceful. Did you think you could simply use unregistered magical objects like this? Or don't the laws apply to the Boy Who Lived?"

The necklace was in his bag. They couldn't take it. He needed it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's enough Mr. Potter. Hand over the necklace or we will take it by force." Fudge motioned the aurors forward.

They'll find out where I was. He'll tell Lucius Malfoy. They'll all die. They'll all be killed because of me. "I don't have any necklace."

McGonagall stepped forward and blocked the men. "I told you that I never saw him wearing a necklace."

Fudge's face flushed. "He must have it. It's a two way connection."

Dumbledore gestured her back. "As I said before I don't know why you think Harry has the other half of this connection. Cornelius, we should talk about this. Let's go up to my office."

Fudge's face relaxed and he smirked. "You feel panicked Mr. Potter, something wrong?" He held up the cross clenched in his fist.

The cold metal sent goose bumps across his chest.

"Dawkins, take the necklace from him."

The man of Fudge's right stepped forward.

Fudge's eyes widened. "What is wrong with you?" He stumbled back. "Merlin!"

Harry lunged at the necklace.

"Hagrid!" Dumbledore called out and enormous arms wrapped around his chest.

"No!" Harry threw his weight forward but the arms didn't loosen.

Fudge dropped the necklace and collapsed against the wall. "He's deranged. Grab him! Take him into custody!"

The necklace lay in the groove between stones. It was so close. It flew into his hand. Panic filled him. He had to get away. He couldn't breathe. Black spots filled his eyes.

"What is going on?"

Snape. He was back. Oh God. He couldn't get free. They were going to let him. They were in on this. He was in front of him. No!

Snape reached toward him.

Harry screamed. "No no no no! Help! Cali! Somebody. Please! Help me!" He slammed against the arms. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Get the necklaces from him!" Snape was too close.

The metal slipped out of his wet palm. The chain snapped against his neck and flew off. The colors blurred, mixed together, and faded to black.

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