Dear Diary,
How annoying it is! How I ever got myself in this predicament is something I will never figure out.
Every since I've joined Dumbledore's side against You-Know-Who, I've been crushed by two—no, three sides: Dumbledore, Voldemort, and that wretched Potter Boy. How I despise him! Just like his father.
Dumbledore told me that coming back to the so-called "good side" would not be easy. I thought the old man was referring to old habits, occasional relapses… I had no idea that it would involve doing the dirty work. While Sirius, curse his dead soul, got to lounge around that house of his, I was stuck teaching a bunch of snot-nosed wizards and witches how to make potions. If you ask me, he's the one with the dark family history. I'm surprised the Order even trusts him.
I am sick of being pretending to be under Voldemort's Imperious Curse. Dumbledore told me that after I killed him, he would get me out of this joint as soon as possible. Yet I'm left holding the bag it seems. I know that I'm skilled at occlumency and potions, but without Dumbledore, I don't know how long I can hold the shield-spell against the curse.
And speaking of the shield-spell, wouldn't it be wonderful if I could get a patent on it? I bet everyone would be taking it off the shelves in a second. But I can't get a patent on it until You-Know-Who is dead, or else he'll find out I'm not really under his Curse. On the other hand, when he's dead, no one would need to buy it. So much for getting rich and famous.
Anyway, You-Know-Who is beginning to get on my nerves. He has the stupid idea that ever since Lucius got caught and thrown in the slammer, I should make a move on Narcissa. Please, just because I made her a stupid promise that I'd watch her kid, they all think I should be part of the family. Family! Psh!
I, the Half-Blood Prince, am worthy of greater women. And I enjoy the bachelor life, so it is no concern of mine to get into a relationship any time soon. I have devoted my life to the cause. Exactly to which cause, well, that's a little fuzzy at the moment.
Meanwhile, I think You-Know-Who has lost his mind. Aside from being fully overjoyed that Dumbledore is dead, he's been having too many mood swings. Seven moods to be precise. I wonder why? The latest seems to be some kind of paranoid, phobic, insecure hypochondriac complex. The other day he got a terrible fright when Wormtail accidentally dropped the breakfast tray. Nearly peed in his pants, the pathetic bloke. He has a tally in his chamber with a mark for every person, animal, or entity that's on his side, and all the ones that are on Dumbledore's side. He counts and recounts them everyday. Ever since that Weasley kid turned bad, he's got You-Know-Who all worried with his notes, statistics, newspaper clippings… it's actually pretty amusing.
Well, have to go and wax You-Know-Who's new red automobile. Until next time,
The Half-Blood Prince