Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. All I own is my original characters and settings that will come up later is the story.

I am rewriting/adding parts of this story to improve it and get rid of inconsistencies. If you see any let me know. Tell me if it's improved if you've read it before. And if you're a 'virgin', so to speak, just drop a line and tell me how it's going.

I'm going to make a calendar and post it on my website to explain the time duration of all this. There are days in between some of the chapters that explain Harry's changing behavior. As time goes by he's adjusting to his environment. I'll post a note when it's up. It might take some time.

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"Harry?" Dumbledore sat next to the bed.

"Hello Professor." It was dark with his head under the covers.

"Are you going to come out?"

"I wasn't planning on it." He picked at a loose thread in the blanket. "I was really out of it, wasn't I?"

"I'm afraid so. Are you feeling more like yourself now?"

"The immediate affects of the drugs wear off after a few hours." I kept taking them every time I hurt. I could have done some serious damage. "I really didn't mean to take too many. I just wasn't careful enough."

"I never thought you were trying to take too many. But we must talk about why you were taking them at all."

Harry pushed back the covers and stared at them. "Do we have to?"

"Yes. We have to. Where did you get them?"

Harry sighed. "I was prescribed them."

"By whom?"

He picked his glasses off the table and slipped them on. "Biara had me talking to a therapist for most of the time I was there. After Cali reversed the--the spell."

"A therapist?"

"Yeah. He was a wizard so I could tell him everything. Well, more than I could have told a muggle at least."

"And did he help you?"

"Some. It's not like there was anything he could say to fix things. It's not like my problems are normal."

"And he gave you the antidepressants?"

"Yeah. And the rest of them too."

"The rest?"

"Anti psychotics, a few different antidepressants, and the valium."

"What does Valium do?"

"It calms you down. I forgot I wasn't supposed to take it at the same time as the other ones I took."

Dumbledore sighed. His eyes were probably filled with disappointment. I just won't look up. "It worries me that you felt you needed to take them at all. Did you talk to anyone before you took them?"

Harry pulled his knees to his chest. "I can't. I couldn't. No one would understand. I was fine. I didn't need any help."

A hand settled on his shoulder. "Then why are you in the hospital wing? Why did you forget big events in your life?"

He shoved the hand off and backed against the headboard. "Maybe I wanted to forget! Why can't everyone leave me alone?"

"Harry--"

He forced his muscles to unclench. "I'm sorry. I know. I'm irrational. I just--I don't want to talk right now."

"I'm going to have to take the pills. If you truly feel that you need them you can come to me and we can talk and make a decision then. All right?"

Harry clenched his toes. "Yes. All right. Thank you." He took a deep breath. "What time is it?"

"It is almost time for dinner."

At least I'm hungry again. "Can I leave?"

Dumbledore sighed. I don't think I've ever heard the man sigh this much. "I'm afraid not. Madam Pomfrey wants to keep you here until the drugs are out of your system."

Harry dropped his head to his knees. "How long?"

"That is a question for you. You know more about the drugs than anyone here."

Harry picked at the seams of the hospital pajamas. I could say it takes twenty-four hours and be out of here tomorrow. However, then if I act oddly they'll think it's something wrong with me and not the drugs. "What day of the week is it?"

"Thursday."

I suppose it would be safest if I just hung out here for a few days. No invasive questions from other students. That should work. "I should be relatively back to normal by Sunday."

"I see." Dumbledore stood. "I will inform Madam Pomfrey."

He walked toward her office and Harry dropped back against the pillows. That was quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.

Dumbledore hesitated by the end of the bed. "Did Miss Weasley come and visit you?"

"Yeah." Harry smirked. "You want an explanation for the corset yet?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I see that she decided to tell you of our little escapade."

Escapade? And here I thought it was a blatant invasion of privacy. "Did you really think she wouldn't tell me that teachers were searching my room?"

"I suppose not." His blue eyes were laughing. "Do I want to know why you had a corset in your closet?"

Harry bit his lip to keep the smile away. "Well do you know how hard it is to find a corset in my size?" He stretched as Dumbledore chuckled and entered Pomfrey's office.

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Harry walked into the Great Hall. Luckily not many people were up and out of bed for Sunday morning breakfast. He sat down next to Hermione. "Hello."

"Harry!" She pulled him into a hug. "Are you all right? What happened? Dumbledore wouldn't let us see you. He wouldn't tell us anything except that you were in the hospital wing."

At least he left it up to me as to how much I want to tell them. "I'm fine. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have let me go if I wasn't."

At least Ron isn't here to ask tactless questions. This way I have a test run before talking to him. "Ron still in bed?"

Hermione snorted. "Of course. Though he might have gotten up if he knew you were being let out this morning." She took a bite of her eggs. "And don't think that I'm letting this go Mr. 'I can distract her with answers to half of her questions.' What happened?"

Damn. "Remember the drugs Ron mentioned?"

Hermione glanced around and moved closer. Uh oh. She's looking really nervous. "Yes. What about them?"

Harry took a deep breath. It's now or never. "It wasn't just Valium. There were anti depressants and anti psychotics." He ignored her gasp. "I was taking them. Every so often my head would start pounding and I'd take a couple. I wasn't even sure which ones I was taking when." She was forcing herself to not lecture him. She was almost shaking with the effort. "I know that it was stupid. All the pain was probably just me going through withdrawal. It just started as 'if one pill makes the pain stop for this long maybe three will stop it for longer.' I figured since I'd been prescribed them it didn't matter when I took them." He sighed and spooned porridge into his bowl. "I really never had any muggle drugs before this and the man who prescribed them didn't ask if I knew what I was doing."

Hermione jammed her fork into a sausage. "Tell me who it was. I'll track him down and kill him." She laughed as his mouth dropped open. "What? I can't defend my friends? It was a psychiatrist, wasn't it? They over prescribe drugs like you wouldn't believe. They never even think that there could be another option. That's why I stopped going."

Harry smiled. She's not mad at me. "Did you get my homework for me? In a week of school I've managed to miss most of my classes. I'll never catch up."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh yes you will. If I have to lock you in a room you will have all your work done. The professors, even Snape, said that they'd help you with the practical things you missed. It's amazing. They all acted really worried. And no wonder. Overdosing. That is the last thing I would have guessed."

At least she doesn't think I was trying to kill myself. "And what were your guesses?" Harry grinned as he tucked into his plate.

"The usual. Battling giant mythic monsters, hexing Malfoy in the hallways, sneaking into places you shouldn't be. Honestly, I don't know how you pass any of your classes when you spend so much time in the hospital wing."

Harry laughed. "Because of you of course Hermione. Where would Ron and I be without you?"

"I know that I don't want to even consider the possibility. It's too frightening."

Harry looked up at the head table. Dumbledore and McGonagall were looking at him and whispering to each other. Snape's seat was empty. He was probably still asleep. Harry sighed. Good. He grimaced and took a bite of his eggs.

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As the hands of the clock inched toward eleven the common room cleared. Soon only the three of them were left.

Harry collapsed back in the chair. "And now I'm all caught up." He rubbed his head. "I don't think I've ever spent that many hours in a row doing homework. How did I manage to do a week's worth of work in one night?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You actually concentrated on what you were working on instead of what else you could be doing instead of homework." She smiled and went back to her work.

The cool velvet of the chair raised goose bumps on his arms. The wind scraped branches against the windows. He rubbed his ear, pulling on the lobe. The hole hadn't closed yet. He hadn't put his earrings back in since he'd taken them off on the platform. If he didn't put in the eyebrow ring soon the hole would close up. He stuck his hands in his pockets to keep from rubbing his eyebrow. Can't have them looking too closely. The hole was still visible. He ran his fingers along the smooth, cool glass. The vial from potions. When had he put that in his pocket? He reached out and pulled the potions book into his lap. The sharp bottom corner dug into his leg. "What potion did we make in class Wednesday?"

Hermione glanced up from her Arithmancy work. "It was a fever reducing potion."

"Right." He flipped through the pages. He ran his finger down the list of ingredients, his calluses brushing over the rough paper. He hadn't followed these directions at all. What had he made? He dipped his quill into the ink and started writing the ingredients he remembered putting in. His eyes widened. "Guys. I'm dead on my feet. I'm heading off to bed."

"Ok mate." Ron was half asleep next to his History of Magic essay.

"Night Harry." Hermione smiled and went back to her work.

He ran up the stairs and inched opened the door. None of the boys stirred. He inched open his trunk and grabbed the invisibility cloak. He pulled the curtains around his bed shut and wrapped it around himself. He kicked off his shoes and padded down the stairs in his socks. Ron had his eyes closed and Hermione didn't even blink as he slipped by and out of the tower. The chill of the stone floor seeped through his socks. He hurried down the corridors and into the library. He took a deep breath and slipped into the restricted section. He scanned the rows of books. Learning from his last trip he didn't open any of the books. There. Most Potente Potions. He slipped it off the shelf and moved toward a window. He flipped through the pages past the directions for polyjuice. Cali had made a potion to repel evil. It had to be what he'd made. He found the page. The ingredients were totally different. He lifted the cover to close it and the moonlight shifted. Those were the ingredients. On the opposite page. He shifted the top of the page into the light. The words blurred in front of his eyes. He slammed the book shut and slid it back onto the shelf. He spun around and ran.

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The Astronomy tower was empty like most of the school in the middle of the night. Harry slid down the wall and let his head fall back. He pulled the vial out of his pocket and held it up to the light. It was blue. Still blue. Not purple. It was supposed to be purple. It was supposed to reduce fever not--Harry shook his head. He hadn't done this. He hadn't made this. It wasn't possible.

He slipped the potion back in his pocket. He'd made poison. Bloody hell. If Snape figured it out--He wasn't supposed to know that this potion existed. He hadn't known it existed. He'd only glanced at the page while Cali was making the potion. He couldn't have remembered it well enough to reproduce it without thinking about it. How do you make a swift acting, deadly poison without trying? He smacked his head against the wall. Why couldn't it have just been purple?

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Severus stumbled into the potions classroom. He smacked into the table. He pushed away from it and wove his way toward the potions cabinet. He opened the door and stared inside. So many potions. He squinted. It was on the top shelf. Of course it was on the top shelf. Where else would it be? He reached up and pulled it down, knocking two vials off the shelf. They hit the floor and rolled over to the desk intact. Shatterproof glass really was a wonderful thing. He pulled out the cork and downed the vial in his hand. The spinning stopped and the fog fled from his head. He set the empty vial on his desk the glass clinking softly as it rolled into the bottles sitting there. He picked up the two fallen potions and returned them to their shelf. The room looked fine otherwise. It didn't seem as if he'd knocked anything else over. He shut the cupboard.

Narrowing his eyes he bent down. The cold stone wall was rough. Small raised circles were burned into the wall. What would be caustic enough to eat through stone? The trail continued down the wall and into a small circle on the floor. Some kind of liquid had run down the wall destroying the stone in the process. Longbottom was no longer in his classes to make such an accidental poison. Snape's head snapped up. Poison? Why--Potter had thrown his potion against the wall. Snape stood. No mistake could be made in a fever reduction potion to create something like that. What had Potter been trying to make? He walked toward the door. The potion was destroyed anyway. He froze. A draft raised goose bumps on his skin. Potter had duplicated the potion somehow. It wasn't possible--nothing about that boy was possible. Not only did he make the poison, but he didn't want to destroy it. He made it on purpose. The boy still had a bottle of poison strong enough to eat through a stone wall. "Damn it!" He slammed his fist against the door. What was going on with that boy?

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Harry yawned and pushed his glasses up. Why was he sitting on the stone floor? He blinked clearing his vision. He was still in the Astronomy tower. He pushed himself up and looked out the window. The sun was barely rising. He rubbed his neck. The grounds were empty. Of course they were. There wasn't even anything stirring in the forbidden forest. Smoke rose from Hagrid's chimney. Harry wrapped himself in the cloak and headed outside.

The damp grass soaked through his socks in under a minute. He shivered as his socks squished and pushed the water over his feet. He pulled the cloak tighter around him, hoping it would at least warm him up a little. He climbed the few steps to Hagrid's hut and put his ear to the door. It didn't sound like Hagrid had any other visitors. He took a deep breath and knocked. The soft sounds inside stopped.

The door opened slowly and Hagrid peeked out, holding his crossbow. "Who's there?"

"It's me Hagrid."

Hagrid jumped. "You out there somewhere 'arry?"

"Yeah. I just don't want anyone to see me out here this early. Can I come in?"

"Yeah. Of course you can." He stepped back.

Harry ducked around him and moved inside.

"You inside 'arry?"

"Yeah. I am."

Hagrid shut the door. Harry pulled off the cloak. "You shouldn't be outside dressed like that. You're shivering." Hagrid led him over to the table and pushed him into a chair. He grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped it around Harry's shoulders. The rough blanket was warm from being so near the fire. Harry pulled his feet up onto the chair and pushed the blanket under them.

"What are you doing outside this early dressed like that?" Hagrid put the kettle on the fire and took down two teacups.

Harry rubbed his hands together. "I fell asleep in the astronomy tower. When I looked out I decided to come visit you."

"Are you feeling all right? After the other day, I was worried when you didn't come to class."

Harry shrugged. "I'm all right. I just cut my cheek on some glass and Madam Pomfrey wanted me to stay in the hospital wing for a while. I'm sorry you were worried. I'm fine."

Hagrid frowned at him. "Are you sure?"

Harry sighed. They probably told him what was really going on. Oh well. "Yeah."

Hagrid fixed the tea and set the cup in front of him. Harry wrapped his hands around it. The warmth seeped into his fingers.

"What were you doing in the astronomy tower?"

Harry sipped the tea. The bitter liquid warmed his throat. "I was just thinking." He pulled the vial out of his pocket and set it on the table.

"What is this?" Hagrid picked up the vial. "A Potion?"

Harry nodded. "We made it in class. It's a fever reduction potion."

Hagrid squinted at it. "Ain't those purple?"

"Yeah. I messed something up." He took a deep breath and looked down into the cup. "When I finished my homework I looked at the potion book to see if I could figure out what I'd done wrong. I didn't use any of the ingredients for the fever reduction potion."

He chuckled. "Well that would be a mistake. Why didn't you follow the directions?"

Harry pulled on his hair. "I thought I did. I made this potion over a dozen times this summer. The flu was going around and everyone had a fever. I just made it without thinking. Yesterday I really thought about it and wrote down what I could remember putting in it to see if I could figure out what I made."

Hagrid finished his tea and leaned back. "Did you?"

He's not going to freak out. He's my friend. He's done illegal things before and he wouldn't want the same thing to happen to me that happened to him. "It wasn't in my potions book. So I thought that it was one I'd watched Cali make. So I went into the restricted section of the library to look at the book--"

Hagrid started. "What?! That's dangerous. There are dark and dangerous books in there. You could have gotten hurt, or caught. If Filch--"

"I know! I only touched the book I was looking for and I knew it was safe. I had my invisibility cloak with me. I'm not completely stupid." No one has any trust in me.

Hagrid set his cup on the table. "I'm sorry Harry. I just want to make sure you're safe."

Harry pulled the blanket tighter around him. "Everyone does." The table was made of narrow boards held together. The spaces between the boards looked wider than the last time he had looked when Norbert was hatching on it.

"Did you find the potion you were looking for?"

Harry shook his head. "Yes and no. I found the one Cali made. Mine was different. It was on the opposite page."

"Well, what is it?" Hagrid turned the vial around.

"It's poison." He downed the rest of the tea.

"Yes. Of course. It's--it's what?" Hagrid set the vial down quickly.

"It's poison. Quick acting and deadly." He set the cup on the table. "And I made it without thinking about it and only having glanced at the ingredients once. It isn't possible that I knew how to make it." He started shaking. "If Snape finds out I'm dead. He'll think I made it on purpose. But I didn't mean to. I swear."

Hagrid hurried over, knelt, and wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay. If you didn't mean to make it then you just have to tell Professor Snape that and give him the potion."

"He'll get me expelled. He hates me." He couldn't stop shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut. NO! He wasn't weak. Stop laughing!

"Harry? Are you okay?" Hagrid was rubbing his arms.

Harry shook his head. "I'm fine. I just. I didn't get much sleep. I guess I'm starting to hear things. I should get back to the tower. I can't miss any more classes. I'll see you later Hagrid." He pushed the blanket off his shoulders, grabbed his invisibility cloak and the vial, and ran out the door. He bolted across the lawn and up the stairs. He had to get back before anyone knew he was missing. He whispered the password and slipped into the silent common room. He padded up the stairs and inched the door open. Neville's alarm went off. He threw himself forward and through the curtains around his bed. Dean's alarm went off and he mumbled and smacked it off like he did every morning.

Harry pulled off his sopping wet socks and dropped them over the far side of the bed. Neville was in the bathroom and everyone else was still asleep. He pulled his clothes out of his trunk and hopped back into bed. He changed quickly and headed off to the bathroom.

He slipped back into the room as Ron's alarm went off. I made it. Everything's fine. He snickered at Ron's flailing attempts to turn it off. "You're going to lose the battle Ron. You might as well get up."

Harry slipped his books into his backpack and slipped the potion back into his pocket. Hagrid was right. He had to do something with the potion. You couldn't pour it out because it would eat through anything. He'd just have to leave it in the potions classroom. Then Snape could deal with it and not know that it was his. Or he could give it to Snape saying he'd tried to figure out what he'd done wrong but had been unable to. But that might lead Snape to try and figure out what he'd done wrong. Unless he said something condescending about potions to distract him from the poison. Yeah. Maybe that would work.

"You ready to go mate?" Ron picked up his bag and headed for the door.

"Yeah." He pulled his robes tighter around him to hide the shivering. He grabbed his bag and followed Ron down the stairs.

The Great Hall was filling up. Harry slid into his usual seat. He grabbed the eggs and shoveled some onto his plate. He slid it back and took six pieces of bacon. He filled his bowl with oatmeal and started eating.

Ron and Hermione were staring at him. Ron's mouth was hanging open.

He swallowed, feeling the lumpy oatmeal inch down his throat. He chased it down with a sip of sweet pumpkin juice. "What are you guys staring at?"

"Hungry this morning?" Ron laughed and took a bite of eggs.

Harry looked at his plate. He shrugged. "Yeah." What was I thinking? This food is as good as always. He scrunched his nose. "Oh. It was probably the drugs. Most of them suppress appetite."

Ron frowned. "Where are the drugs?"

"Dumbledore said he had to take them, so they're probably in his office. He could have found them when they searched my room."

Hermione shook her head. "I still cannot believe that they did that. It's an invasion of privacy."

Harry laughed. "If I'm not mad you can't be either."

"Well then why aren't you mad?"

"I don't know. I should be." He sipped at his pumpkin juice. "Maybe I think they're being punished enough trying to decide why something was in my closet."

Hermione frowned. "What?"

Harry laughed. "It's nothing. I went to see this musical with Cali and the twel--and her friends. A lot of people dress up as the characters and there's audience participation. My costume was sitting at the bottom of my closet." He shrugged and dug into his eggs.

"So you're okay? With everything?" She was biting her lip and Ron had stopped eating and was staring at him.

"I'm feeling a lot better than I was a few days ago. The withdrawal symptoms are over. At least I hope they are because that was hell. Everything's a lot clearer. And since everyone, well Dumbledore, Lupin, and Snape, have repeatedly mentioned that it's not safe for me to go back to where I was I've given up any hope of that and started sending Cali letters."

Hermione nodded and turned back to her food. "Has she responded?"

"A few times. She doesn't have an owl but she somehow got a ferret to deliver them. It has a modified portkey on it that transports it to wherever I am. So I really hope she doesn't try to respond when I'm in a class."

Ron snorted. "A ferret?"

Harry smiled. "Yeah. And she sent me the same kind of portkey for Hedwig. I'm doing all right and after I do something today I think everything will be okay."

"Do what?" Ron was back to shoveling food into his mouth.

"Nothing important. Just this little thing. Can I go back to eating now?" He dug back into his food.

Ron and Hermione went back to eating and arguing about homework. Harry smiled. This is what he'd missed. Maybe things weren't as bad as he'd thought.

He left the Great Hall after eating as much as possible and rushed to the dungeons. He sat down and unpacked his stuff. "I am determined to make this potion correctly. So Hermione, if you see me putting anything weird in smack me or something."

"All right." She laughed. "You did really well the first day. What did you do different the second time?"

He looked out from under his eyelashes. "I didn't think about what I was doing."

She sighed. "That could be the problem Harry."

He laughed. "No doubt. I think that was my whole problem with potions. I never paid enough attention to what I was doing. So now I'm going to try and pay attention to what I'm doing. That way Snape won't have anything to complain about." He leaned closer to her. "I think it will be fun watching him try to come up with new and creative ways to criticize me."

Hermione chewed on her lip. "You seem really different today Harry."

He patted her arm. It's going to take some time before she's not worried about me anymore. "I feel really different. I feel good." Harry smiled and rubbed his neck. "Except for the crick in my neck of course." He shrugged. "I'm starting to feel like myself again."

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