Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. All I own is my original characters and settings that will come up later is the story.

I am rewriting/adding parts of this story to improve it and get rid of inconsistencies. If you see any let me know. Tell me if it's improved if you've read it before. And if you're a 'virgin', so to speak, just drop a line and tell me how it's going.

I'm going to make a calendar and post it on my website to explain the time duration of all this. There are days in between some of the chapters that explain Harry's changing behavior. As time goes by he's adjusting to his environment. I'll post a note when it's up. It might take some time.

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Charms held little challenge anymore. He got the spells almost as quickly as Hermione. He understood how magic worked more than ever. The class just dragged on. He closed his charms book and poked at his dinner.

"Are you okay Harry?" Hermione glanced up from her Arithmancy book.

Great. I'm not eating again. This is not going to stop them from constantly asking me if I'm okay. "Yeah. I'm not looking forward to detention though."

Hermione nodded and turned back to her book.

Harry played with the earrings in his pocket. The cold metal slid across his fingertips. If Snape knew he had them he might as well use his detention to keep his holes open. "I'd better get going." He picked up his bag and headed into the frigid bowels of the castle. Melodramatic once again. What to tell Snape about the poison? He didn't believe I made it on accident. That's not surprising. Last year I couldn't have made it on purpose. He couldn't know all the time I spent on potions this summer. He slid into an alcove, pulled his plain silver stud out, and slipped it into his ear. He took the ring and pushed it through his eyebrow. He checked the hallway and ran to the classroom.

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"Come in." Potter opened the door and closed it behind him. "Sit." Potter slowly lowered himself into the brittle wooden chair in front of his desk. His earrings were back in. "I see the holes in your head have returned."

"I didn't want them to close up." He was playing with the metal in his ear.

Severus leaned back in his chair. "I believe we are here to discuss the poison you made?" There is no way for him to get out of this one. He was chewing on his lip. No doubt trying to concoct some absurd lie.

"I saw the poison in Moste Potente Potions."

The truth. That is a new concept for wonderful Mr. Potter. "And how did you get hold of a book in the restricted section?"

"I saw the book this summer. Cali was making the potion on the opposite page."

He leaned forward in his chair, the leather creaking. He steepled his fingers. "And you felt the need to memorize it?"

The boy jumped up and paced back and forth in front of the desk, twisting his ring around his finger. "I only glanced at it. I didn't even remember it existed. Then suddenly I have this vial and the ingredients I remember putting in aren't the ones I was supposed to be putting in. I just figured it was the potion I made with Cali. I had to know what it was! And I'm quite aware that sneaking into the restricted section of the library in the middle of the night is stupid, but I HAD TO KNOW! I only touched the book I was looking for and I knew it wasn't going to bite me or scream. How was I supposed to know I made poison?!" The boy's hands were shaking. He started chewing on his thumbnail.

The boy had told him the truth. He admitted to breaking into the restricted section knowing very well he would be punished. There was something else going on here. "What are you leaving out?"

The boy froze and spun to face him. "What? Nothing."

"Fine. Then I shall inform the headmaster of your actions and he shall deal with you. Perhaps this will be the time he doesn't protect you." He stood and walked past the tables.

"I think it was Vo--Him."

There was a draft blowing under the door. "How?"

"The drugs I was taking plus the connection with Cali. I think they made it easier for him to get in my head."

He spun. "Imbecile!"

"No shit! You think I don't know this? You think I want him pushing me to make poison?"

"Then block him out!"

Potter crossed his arms over his chest. "You make it sound easy! It's not, okay? I was practicing all summer and I still can't stop it."

It's always the fault of someone else. He will never take responsibility for his own actions. "Well you must not have been practicing very hard."

"How the hell would you know? I worked with Mr. Teran every day. He actually tried to teach me how to do it instead of just breaking into my mind."

And we can see how successful that was, can't we? "Then why can't you do it?"

He was standing inches away from him, his glasses sliding down his nose. "Because I didn't have to hide what I didn't want him to see. He wasn't strong enough to force things to the surface of my mind. He couldn't break into anything I didn't want him to see." The boy was shaking, his eyes locked on his. There was something in his eyes. The boy was scared. That's not surprising. The man who killed his parents keeps breaking into his thoughts.

I despise being wrong. "You did not intend to make the poison?"

"No." The boy didn't drop his eyes.

"Very well." He stepped back and walked to his desk. He sat and took out the third year Ravenclaw homework. "We can resume your lessons tomorrow night after dinner." The boy didn't move. "Is there something else?"

"There--There's something I don't want you to see. Something you don't want to see."

He looked over and the boy backed up. "What is it that you don't want me to see?"

His breathing sped up. "It's--It's what he put in my head. The--the spell."

He had to bring that up didn't he? "And what exactly did he put in your head?" I doubt he'll tell me. I wouldn't tell me if I were in his position.

"Didn't I say I didn't want you to know? Can't tell you. Can't see." He broke off, mumbling and chewing on his thumb.

He's going to bite that finger off. He looks like he's very near to a psychotic break. But this will not help. This is perhaps the worst idea I have ever had. "I already know."

The boy froze and shifted his eyes. "You--what?"

"When you were in the hospital wing I extracted the images from your head."

Harry was backing up, fumbling with the doorknob.

He cast a locking charm and then a silencing charm. This could degenerate into quite a scene. What was wrong with the boy?

He was yanking at the door. He spun and his eyes darted around the room. Potter pulled out his wand and pointed it at him. "Pe--people know I'm here. If I don't come back they--they'll know where I was."

"Wh--" The boy thought he was going to--he had locked and silenced the room. Stupid. "Mr. Potter." This was tricky. "I would think it would be quite obvious that this situation is neither of our faults. I have placed these memories in a pensive and intend to ignore them."

"He keeps pushing it forward."

He stepped forward. Potter backed up and hit the wall. The boy was shaking. "Don't. I'll do something if you get too close."

He stopped. "Morganna's intrusion into your mind has failed?"

Harry chewed on his lip. "I don't think it's failed per say, everything is still a little fuzzy, it's like it's wrapped up in sheer fabric, but it's like you take this big thing and stick it in the middle of whatever I'm thinking of. I can't see it, but I know what it is. It's nearly impossible to push it out of my thoughts, no matter how hard I try and clear my mind."

I've never heard of anything like that. She could have damaged something in his mind. "Perhaps there's something that she missed?"

He wrapped his arms around his chest and shrugged.

"May I?" Potter backed up. He rolled his eyes. "I wish to attempt to see if I can discover the problem. A simple diagnostic spell."

He took a deep breath and nodded.

Severus muttered the words and swept the wand up, the blue light surrounding the boy and glowing brighter before flowing into his skin. Severus set down a piece of parchment and watched the quill scratch across it. It filled half the page, flowed halfway across another line, and fell to the desk. He scanned the list. What was this boy doing?

"Well?" Potter shifted.

"Come and see for yourself." He picked up the quill and dipped it into the inkbottle.

Potter took a deep breath and moved to stand next to him. "What is all that?"

Snape crossed out various sections. "Those would be your new holes and quite a substantial section that I believe can be attributed to your tattoo."

Potter wrapped his arms around his chest. "And the rest of it?"

Severus frowned. "There is considerable stress on your internal organs. I do not know what could have caused it."

Potter shrugged. "Probably the withdrawal."

"The what?"

"Some of the drugs I was taking are addictive in high doses."

Which shows that he knew exactly what he was doing. Let's see the Headmaster get him out of this one. "And why did you take them in high doses then?"

Potter shrugged. "Because I'm an idiot."

He's hiding something. The real reason he took the pills. He won't reveal it now. "What type of symptoms?"

"The usual. Sweating, shaking, moodiness, seizures--"

"Seizures!"

Potter jumped back and Severus clenched his fists.

He says that like it is not a big deal. Can he truly not understand the consequences of his action? "What is the likelihood of the seizures?"

"I don't know. I took at least four different drugs that screwed with my brain chemistry." He laughed. "Don't look so terrified. I told Dumbledore to chuck the drugs so I can't start taking them again. It's been four days since I've had anything and if I were going to start having seizures I would probably have had one already. Everything should be out of my system soon."

I suppose he could not be worried because he has already passed the point where side effects are likely to take affect. "How soon?"

"A few weeks."

A few--Severus hurled the quill to the desk. "Do you have any idea what could happen in a FEW WEEKS?! Your selfish actions could get you or others killed. Do you think of no one but yourself?"

"It hurt!" He pushed over the chair and tangled his fingers in his hair. "It hurt to breathe, it hurt to act like nothing was wrong; it just hurt!" Tears were slipping from his eyes. What was the Dark Lord doing to the boy? He was unraveling. "It was all in my head. I could feel everything. It was perfection. They ripped it away. Now I have nothing. She was in my head and I knew everything was okay. You took her away! She could be dead right now and I wouldn't even know."

He wasn't talking about--The severed connection with Morganna. Merlin! After everything else he doesn't know whether she is alive. She was the only one that was able to help him last time. If Voldemort found that out she would become a prime target. And Potter knows that. "Mr. Potter, I am sure Morganna is fine."

"But you don't know that! No one knows for sure. If anything happens it's all my fault. I was the one who went there. If they find out about it, it will be my fault! I can't--" He slid down the wall and hugged his knees.

He walked to the fire and threw in a fistful of powder. "The Academy."

Biara's head appeared in the fire. "Hello Sevie, what can I do for you?"

Oh yes, let's resurrect that horrid nickname. "Where is Morganna?"

"She's in her biology lab." Biara tilted her head. "Is that you back there Harry?"

"Yes Mom." He rested his chin on his knees. "Are you sure Cali's okay?"

Biara glanced at Severus before looking back at Potter. "I saw her ten minutes ago."

"And everyone is okay?"

"There isn't as much conflict without you, and Cali complains that she can't find anyone else to dress in drag to accompany her to see Rocky Horror, but everyone is adjusting to the new arrangement. How are you doing?"

"I wasn't adjusting well, but I think I'm starting to fix things. But I'm always worried about what's going on there."

Biara's head disappeared form the fire. An arm reached through and dropped a stone on the floor.

Potter inched forward. "Is it a portkey?"

Biara sighed. "It's a worry stone Harry. Absolutely non-magical. Listen to me carefully. Non-magic. Do you understand me?"

Potter stared into the fire and picked up the stone. "Yes Mom. I understand perfectly. Thank you."

"Very good Harry. Stick to that and I bet you receive some cookies soon."

He stood. "I'd better go do my homework."

"Good boy. How's your history coming?"

"I finished. It was really interesting."

"I'll send the test off then. Have you decided what to take next?"

"Advanced biology I think. Or maybe psychology." He scrunched up his nose. "Maybe I haven't decided after all."

Biara laughed. "I'll send both and then if you get bored you can switch to the other."

"Thanks Mom."

"Anytime. Now off to your work. Goodnight sweetie. I have a few more things to discuss with Severus."

"Can--can I go Professor Snape?" Potter had the stone clutched in his fist.

Why do I feel I've just missed everything? "Yes Potter. Though we must deal with this."

The boy was staring at the stone smiling. "We can do occlumency if you want."

If I want? Biara was hiding a smile. Was she mocking me? "Tomorrow night then. In my office."

"Yes sir." He left calmly, shutting the door behind him.

He spun back to the fire. "What did you do to the stone Biara?" It has to be imbued with a calming potion or maybe a cheering charm.

"Nothing Severus."

She thinks that I'll just accept that? "Then why did it effect him like calming potion?"

Biara shrugged. As if she didn't know exactly what the answer is. She knows what she's doing. She always does. "His overuse of magic has opened his mind without his knowledge. Now that he knows he can close the doors."

How does she know that? "I see."

"Though occlumency would still be advisable to protect his mind directly."

How does she manage to dictate to me what she can't even levitate a feather? "Do you always know everything?"

Biara laughed. "I may be a squib Severus, but I know people. That boy is absolutely transparent once you get past his shell. All he wants is a little attention."

"Attention?! That boy gets nothing BUT attention. He's the bloody golden boy!"

"Not that kind of attention Severus. Would you want attention based on the fact that your parents were murdered before you were even old enough to be able to remember them? He has no one outside of the Hogwarts sphere."

"I suppose, but that boy gets everything he wants. He gets away with everything."

Biara shook her head. "And maybe he acts out to get attention and the fact that he gets away with everything just continues to prove that no one cares for his well being."

Severus scowled. "This is ridiculous. Mr. Potter's mental health is not my concern."

"Until he becomes your next master and you're on the ground kissing his robes."

Severus growled. "That is not funny."

"And the fact that he cast the Cruciatus curse last spring and has enough power to blow things up with his mind IS funny?"

Severus froze in the process of turning from the fire. "He cast what?"

"It's not so funny now is it? That boy is headed down a dark path and no one seems to be able to pull him back."

And you gave him the magic to fly down that path instead of walk. "Perhaps he shouldn't have been taught to blow things up with his mind!"

Biara's eyes flashed. "He always had the power Severus! Had he not learned to handle it he would have hurt people unintentionally when his emotions spiked. Would you rather have his cauldron blowing up and injuring students because someone made a stupid comment?"

Severus conjured a chair and sank into it. "Does the headmaster know he cast the spell?"

Biara sighed. "Albus knows a great deal that goes on. But I believe in this case he is in the dark. Harry and Bellatrix were alone in the lobby of the ministry when he cast it. The spell was largely unsuccessful if that makes you feel any better."

Severus shook his head. "That he was able to cast it at all terrifies me. The headmaster has to be told."

"He will do nothing. As he did nothing about everything else that happened that night. From the reactions of those you brought with you he didn't even tell his precious Order about Voldemort possessing the boy."

He pushed his hair back and clasped his hands behind his head. His fingernails dug into his scalp like dull pins. "Merlin." Why does everything always rely on me to fix it?

"He had the chance to talk though a lot this summer. Things are getting better. The mere fact that he is talking shows that he is better than he was at the beginning of the summer. Perhaps he has finally decided to face reality head on. I would ask you to at least attempt to not hurt the boy in occlumency. We don't want to hinder whatever progress he manages to make. Just teach him."

"I understand Biara. I will make the attempt. But what am I meant to do about all the rest?" I can't just let the boy get away with casting an unforgivable.

"Accept that there is nothing you can do except try to impress in him the end he is headed toward. And not by screaming at him hopefully." Biara glanced behind her. "I must go Severus. I have a meeting with the staff in a few minutes. Do not hesitate to call me if you need anything."

"You will contact me immediately if anything happens?"

She smiled. "As always Sevie. Good bye."

"Good bye." Her head vanished and the flames dropped. Severus sighed and collapsed back in his chair.

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"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione looked up as he hopped through the portrait hole.

"I'm fine. Snape and I screamed at each other for awhile." He flopped onto the couch next to her. "Then I talked to Mom and came back here. You'll be happy to know that I'm going to continue with occlumency. Oh! And Mom sent me a worry stone through the fire." He held out his palm. The blue stone was marbled with red, branching strips. "She said I'm relying too much on magic, so if you see me using unnecessary magic in or out of class I'd appreciate you smacking me or something." Hermione barely blinked. "Are you okay?"

She reached toward his face. Her fingers brushed his eyebrow. The skin shifted as she brushed the ring. "Snape pierced your eyebrow?"

Harry laughed. Hermione shifted away from him. He followed and put his arm around her shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just--mental image of Snape doing body piercing."

Hermione covered her mouth. "Oh God." She laughed and brushed the ring again. "So when did you get it?"

"This summer. My ear too." He turned his head.

"Why?"

The common room was noisy. Everyone was avoiding work together. "Because I could. And don't look at me like I'm an insolent child." Hermione looked away. "I liked how it looked on other people, I had the money, and no one was going to stop me. Cali wanted me to pierce my tongue and I didn't. I thought about the consequences first. My having two piercings is not going to get me or anyone else killed."

Hermione shut her book. "Then why haven't you had them in?"

"I was sitting on the platform and I suddenly realized that I would have to answer billions of questions about it. I didn't feel like doing that so I took them out. I didn't know how to go back to wearing them."

Ginny flopped into the chair across form him. "Hey guys." She blinked and shook her head. "Wow. Harry, Mom is going to flip when she sees those." She laughed and leaned back. "I bet she blames Bill for his bad influence."

Harry crossed his arms and smirked. "Thanks Ginny. That makes me feel so much better." He grabbed the velvety pillow under his arm and threw it at her. She caught it, put it behind her neck, and relaxed back. "Thanks. So what were we talking about?"

Hermione sighed. "I'm just wondering what else is pierced." She looked him over.

He blushed and ducked his head. God, what does she think I pierced that she can't see? Ginny giggled. Hermione's eyes widened. "Merlin! What else?" Ginny stopped laughing.

What? "Nothing! I didn't--That's it."

Ginny stood and squeezed onto the couch on his other side. "Harry?"

He sighed. This is what I get for acting nervous. I might as well confess. "I--I kind of--tattoo." They are going to freak out. I bet Hermione's the one that wonders how I got it without parental consent.

"What?!" Ginny and Hermione both yelled. The common room fell silent.

Maybe they aren't going to be as logical as I thought. He grabbed them both and pushed them up the stairs. His room was empty. He pulled out his wand and cast a locking charm. "Need you scream like that?"

"What kind of tattoo Harry?" Hermione stood behind his trunk her hand in her pocket.

Ginny moved to the other side of Ron's bed.

"What are you--" I disappear and come back freaking out and say I have a tattoo. How stupid do they think I am? "Don't you think Madam Pomfrey would have noticed if I had the Dark Mark?"

Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at him. "Just to be safe maybe you'd better pull up your sleeve. Harry would never overdose on drugs or have a screaming fight with Snape and come back not even a little mad."

I'm not allowed to change and grow as a person? It's great to know she has such faith in me. "You think I'm some death eater taking polyjuice? Come on--"

"Your arm." Her arm was extended, fine tremors shaking her arm.

Fine. If this is what I have to do to prove something that should be obvious. He threw his robe on the bed and rolled up his sleeve.

Ginny pulled her wand out. She pressed her hand to her mouth, sobbing. Hermione lifted her wand higher. "Stupefy!"

Harry dodged and hit the wall. "Stop!"

"Who are you?!" Hermione kept her wand trained on him.

"What are you talking about?" His sleeve was resting below his elbow. A black semicircle peeked out from beneath the white shirt slipping back down his arm. His nails scraped his skin as he pushed the sleeve past his elbow. "Damn." When the hell did I draw that? Before dinner? Between classes?

Hermione took a step forward. "Ginny, get McGonagall."

"No." His wand slipped across his sweaty fingers and he tightened his fist. "You can't."

Ginny moved forward. "Give us one reason why. And drop the wand."

Harry tossed his wand on the bed. He licked his thumb and pulled it across the skull, black smears following his finger. It's marker. When did I have a marker with me? How did I draw it to look real?

Ginny's wand dropped a few inches. "How--what--"

As long as I don't tell them that I don't remember drawing it everything should be okay. "It's marker. I got bored and was drawing. I'm quite aware that I could have drawn something less disturbing, but I swear I just forgot it was there."

Hermione dropped her wand next to Harry's and flung herself into his arms. "I'm so sorry. It's just--you were acting so strange and then you say you have a tattoo and--"

"It's okay." Her robes were soft and tickled the inside of his elbow. "I'm quite aware I've been acting weird." Not Death Eater weird but when you're searching for an explanation I suppose you'd come up with some strange ideas.

Ginny leaned against his bed. "If that's not--you said you had a tattoo."

And still they don't forget about that. At least they aren't thinking about how I got it. "It--It's on my shoulder."

Ginny frowned. "I didn't see it on the train."

Harry opened his mouth and Hermione pulled away. "Why would you have seen it Ginny?"

Ginny blushed. "I--he--"

Hermione spun and shoved him. "Ron is going to kill you."

"I changed my shirt! Don't freak out." Why does everyone think I'm trying to get together with Ginny? Have I ever shown any interest in her before?

Hermione smirked. "Well then I guess you won't have a problem taking your shirt off now."

Hermione doesn't smirk. "What?" He backed into the door.

She shrugged. "I want to see the tattoo. Just--just to be sure."

Harry sighed. I'm never taking these stupid earrings out again if it's going to lead to all this. He undid the buttons, the plastic slipping across his fingertips. He pulled the shirt backward off his shoulders and tossed it on the floor, turning his shoulder toward them.

Hermione walked over, blushing, and ran her finger across it. "What does it stand for?"

"Life. The polar opposite of my tattooed enemies." So no more thinking I'm a Death Eater. I must remember to wash that off my arm.

"Did you get it the wizard or the muggle way?"

Harry winced. She's starting to think about how I got it. Bail out. "Muggle way. It took a couple of hours. It still doesn't come anywhere near Cruciatus though." He smiled. "Can we go do homework now?" That should distract her.

"Are you sure you're Harry?" Hermione giggled.

"Haha. I've got a history test coming soon. I want to make sure I'm caught up or even ahead." Homework and proof that I'm me. Though I don't suppose that last year Harry would have been taking extra classes.

"Well let's go. I was in the middle of reading for Arithmency." She stopped at the door. "Are you going to let me out?"

Harry grabbed his wand and broke the spell.

"Thanks. We'll be talking later about where all the muscles came from." She shut the door on Ginny's giggling.

Harry growled and grabbed her around the waist, tossing her on the bed. He jumped on top of her and dug his fingers into her ribcage.

She gasped and squealed. "No. No tickling." She was gasping for breath.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open.

Why is it that people always walk in when I'm in bed with her? "Hello Professor. Can I help you?" See, I'm totally innocent here. Nothing to tell anyone else about or give me detention for.

She snapped her mouth shut and stared at him. He jumped off the bed, grabbed a white T-shirt out of his closet, and pulled it on. The fabric caught on his glasses. He tugged harder and pushed his glasses back up. Ginny slid off the other side of the bed and he pulled his robe back on.

McGonagall held out a brown box with a yellow envelope taped to the top. "This came to the headmaster for you. You are to return it to him when you are finished."

"Yes Professor." He took the box and hugged it to his chest.

"And there will be no incidents like this reported to me." She smiled. "So at least attempt to make it appear as innocent as I believe it is."

They smiled and Ginny giggled. "Yes professor." They followed her to the common room. Harry slid into the chair next to all of Hermione's books. He tugged the envelope off and moved the box to the side. He pushed the little metal pieces up and squeezed them together. He pushed the flap up and dumped everything on the table. There was a stapled packet, the first page covered in multiple-choice questions, a blue book, and a pen taped to an index card. 'This is a pen. Ohhhh. You can write with it. The ink is magically inside of it. Once you have finished your test you should take this pen, find a pureblood, and give it to them. They will be fascinated for hours. That is all. Cali' Harry smiled and uncapped the pen, pulling the packet of questions in front of him.

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Only one more chapter before new story. Leave me a review.