The first week of Hogwarts had been without a headmaster. The Ministry had had many debates over Dumbledore's replacement, and the final consensus was to hand the position over to Professor McGonagall. Her many years of experience and her close interaction with Dumbledore throughout her stay at Hogwarts had recommended her to them.
"Well how about that!" exclaimed Neville to Dudley, Mrs. Figg, and George. "Professor McGonagall as headmistress! I couldn't think of anyone better."
"She'll certainly be stricter on the Gryffindors though," lamented George, who recalled McGonagall's sharp eye on the Weasley twins.
Dudley shrugged. "Sure. Who's the head of Slytherin?" He had asked out of his growing curiosity in the house, not because Snape was no longer its head.
"It's Professor Slughorn," said Neville. "I'm so glad Professor Snape is gone. After six years with him tormenting me it's such a relief." If the real Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been present, they would have noted that Neville, for the first time, looked truly happy.
"You know," said George. "I wonder who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor will be…"
"Me too!" exclaimed Dudley. "So what do we do in Defense Against the Dark Arts?"
Dean Thomas, who happened to be walking by, paused and stared at him. "Are you okay Harry?"
"Wha--? Oh yeah," said Dudley. "Hey, are you gonna finish that?" he pointed at Seamus' pumpkin pasty.
"Stop that! You're supposed to be on a diet!" whispered Mrs. Figg harshly.
Dean stared at them. "What's the matter with you all?"
"Oh just ignore them," said George, smoothing his (or should we say, Ron's) curls. "They were practicing some memory charms… confuncious… confounding… confuscious… charms.. or whatever…Nice cool curls though!" said George hastily. He wished he had paid more attention in Flitwick's class when he was still in school.
"Right, thanks," said Dean suspiciously. "Here, Harry," he handed Dudley his pumpkin pasty, and shot them a bewildered look he left.
"Smooth one young man!" said Mrs. Figg, pinching George's cheek and winking.
"Please do not touch me!" George backed off.
"Come on, it's time for Defense Against the Dark Arts!" said Dudley, finding that for the first time, he was looking forward to learning.
The Gryffindors and Slytherins had the class together, and they made random guesses about who would teach them. In the midst of their musings, the door opened, and quick footsteps called their attention.
"Welcome class, to the Seventh Year of Defense Against the Dark Arts."
They turned around and gasped.
"PERCY!" shrieked George, his jaw dropping. "What are you—why are you—how the bloody--!"
"Five points from Gryffindor," said Percy immediately. "For speaking out of turn. And five points as well from Slytherin for disrupting the class with your silly simpering," he continued, glaring at Draco Malfoy and his friends.
"As you all know, I am a graduate from Hogwarts, with house honors from Gryffindor. After working for the Ministry, I have been trusted with this important position as your professor."
"But you don't have any experience with dark arts—" protested George.
"Five points from Gryffindor for interrupting."
"But—"
"Don't you think for a second Ronald, that because we are related that I will give you any special treatment! Interrupt me one more time and I will take away 25 points from Gryffindor."
George stared.
"I expect you all to put in as much effort as you can, for as you know, the Dark Lor—ahem, I mean, You-Know-Who," said Percy adjusting his glasses, "has grown in power, and you will all need to know how to defend yourselves against dark magic as well as the wizards that are on his side. We will begin our lesson now with the defense against an extremely dark spell."
The class shifted nervously.
"The spell transforms, or I should say, reduces one's opponent into an object that can be easily defeated, and even controlled. Somewhat of a mix between a transformation spell and an imperius curse."
"This isn't in the book," whispered Dudley, who had already skimmed the Defense textbook for dark spells. His desire to become not only the greatest wizard there ever was, but the greatest dark wizard had made him an avid student.
"I don't remember learning this either…" whispered George. "I may have missed a few classes or slept through a few… but I don't remember this one…"
"Suspicious lad," commented Mrs. Figg.
"To defend yourselves," Percy's lips quirked with subtle amusement, "You merely need to say the words, 'Defenso transimperius!'"
"On the count of three…" said Percy, with a gleam in his eyes that reminded Neville of Snape's own dark ones, "One… two.. three!"
"Transimperius jellibus!"
"Defenso transimperius!" yelled the class with their wands raised, unsuspectingly. A flash of light, and the class reappeared safe and sound—as jelly beans.
"Good work…!" exclaimed Percy, and cackled, "Muhahahahahaha!" he scooped the class into a jar and smirked. He paused admiring the colors, and then shrugged and popped one in his mouth.
Dudley, Mrs. Figg, George, and Neville peeked in through the crack of the door. They had run out of the room as the light flashed.
"I knew it! That defense spell was a hoax!" whispered Neville, extremely proud of himself.
"Well, at least the awful Malfoy boy will be out of the way," shrugged Mrs. Figg.
"Think again, Mudblood," came a voice. Mrs. Figg stiffened.
They turned to see Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle. "You four are apparently smarter than you look," he said. "But if I were you I'd watch my back. You might wake up as pink jelly beans." Crabbe and Goyle guffawed and the three Slytherins left them.
"Transimperius jellibus!" said Dudley.
"What?" Mrs. Figg turned.
"Transimperius jellibus. That was the spell he used," said Dudley, his eyes wide now.
"Well, it's probably illegal so I wouldn't go about using it," said George, shaking his head. "Now what are we going to do about the missing students?"
"Professor, you have to believe us!" insisted George, as Ron. "Percy turned them into jelly beans! That's why we're missing the students…"
"Please, Mr. Weasley," said McGonagall. "I know you have had some family trouble with Percy, but that is no reason to make up stories about him!"
"It's true!" insisted Hermione. "You must believe us!"
"Miss Granger, Percy has been an ideal student all his years at Hogwarts. He has been employed by the Ministry. He has proven over the years that I have known him, to be a reliable and responsible role model. Now I don't want any more of this nonsense!"
"But he's got them in a jar! Just look for the students! They're missing, can't you see?" protested Neville.
Just then the door opened.
"Excuse me Professor, but there's a disruption in the corridor…Filch says he needs you to come at once," said Seamus.
Ron, Mrs. Figg, Dudley, and Neville gaped. "How did you—you were a jelly bean—what…?"
"What are you talking about?" said Seamus blinking.
"Percy turned you into a jelly bean, and you bloody well know it!" shouted George.
Seamus stared. "I don't know what you're talking about."
McGonagall shook her head. "Out with you four now, I've got work to do. Please," she raised a hand to silence them. "Go back to your studies or I shall give you all detention."
She rushed out.
"Why didn't you tell her?" said Mrs. Figg, annoyed.
"Tell her what?" said Seamus, with a malicious smile. "You had better stand out of the Dark Lord's way, or you'll all get what you deserve… especially you, Potter," and with that, he turned and left the room.