As one of my friends and some of you have asked, no, I'm not dead, just a little lazy. I managed about six pages of this today, and I really want to finish this soon. (I know I've been saying that for a long time, but it has to happen eventually.) I have an outline of where I want this story to end up, and no matter what, I WILL NOT abandon this story. If you want to IM me every day and tell me to write, feel free. :) Everyone needs a kick in the butt sometimes. I only revised this chapter once because I really wanted to get it posted, so feel free to send me any mistakes you find.
Thanks to my reviewers and others for poking me and demanding an update, in a polite way that is. It really did help me get this out today. I hope you all enjoy.
Harry scribbled the last line of his transfiguration assignment and shoved it back in his bag. He pulled his plate back in front of him and took the eggs out of Ron's hands. "Stop adding food to your plate and eat what you have. What's up with you today?"
Ron jabbed his fork into his sausage. "Do you think that Hermione's still mad at me?"
Harry took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "About the whole gay thing? I don't think so, why? Has she done something that makes you think so?"
Ron dropped his forehead onto his palm. "She completely brushed me off this morning when I asked for her help on my Transfiguration assignment. I thought she was going to hit me with her bag for a minute." He shoved the sausage into his mouth. "I apologized to you and all and I don't think it's fair if she's still mad at me because you forgave me." He emptied his cup. "What should I do?"
Harry smiled and scratched his neck. The group next to him was involved in a violent quittich discussion and on the other side some third years were comparing answers for the charms work. "Look Ron, you guys spent a week in the hospital wing spending time with me. That means a week of Hermione not spending every minute doing her work. Now that everything's settle I think she's panicking and jumping back into her work. I don't think she's mad at you at all, at least no more than usual."
Ron smiled and dug into his food. The room emptied slowly until there were only a few dozen people left.
The table shook as Hermione threw herself onto the bench, grabbed two pieces of toast, and put bacon between them. "What are you two still doing here? We're going to be late for class." She pulled Harry to his feet and Ron followed as she hurried out of the room.
Ron split off and headed to his class while Hermione tugged Harry down the stairs. She finally let go of his arm and turned the last corner to the classroom. Heels clicked over the stone floor behind him. Harry took a few steps toward the sound and a hand reached out of the alcove and pulled him in. He struggled against the arms, trying to get leverage to shove the person off, and quickly stopped when he head the giggling. He licked the hand covering his mouth and it pulled away with a squeal. "Is there a particular reason you kidnapped me and are making me late for Potions?"
Cali leaned against the wall next to him, her jasmine body spray clashing with whatever scented shampoo she'd used. Her hand ran up his arm. "I can't just drop in for a dose of my cutie?" She pulled her hand back when he tapped his fingers on his arm. "All right then. I guess not." She glanced out into the hall and pulled him further into the niche. "I need to talk to talk to you tonight. Things are being hidden. Mom's been acting strange ever since I got out of the hospital wing, but you know I tend to read more into things than actually exists, so I need to know if I'm just being paranoid or if there is actually something there that I should be worrying about. Will you come to the common room tonight?"
The footsteps passing through the corridor had stopped. "Yeah, of course I will, but I have to go now if I want to make it to class even close to on time." He kissed her forehead, slipped passed her, and ran around the corner.
Professor Snape stood at the door. "Well Mr. Potter, how wonderful for you to join us this morning."
Everyone in the class looked back, the Slytherins laughing and nudging each other. "I'm sorry sir." He slipped into the classroom and slid into his seat next to Hermione. When the instructions appeared on the board he gathered his ingredients and started brewing. He ignored Hermione's glances toward him, looking for answers to his disappearance, and concentrated on his cauldron. He jumped when Professor Snape's hand landed on his shoulder.
Black hair hid his face as he leaned closer. "Why were you late?"
The fire under his cauldron flickered and he steadied it. "I left breakfast a little late and then Cali ambushed me in the hall. She thinks something's wrong cause Mom is acting weird around her. She wanted another opinion. I got away as quickly as I could."
Professor Snape nodded and pushed his hand away from the cauldron. "Too much bat essence, Mr. Potter. Neutralize the reaction and try that step again."
Hiding his smile, Harry nodded and mixed in the ingredients to fix the miniscule mistake and move onto the next step. He cracked his back and leaned back over his cauldron. Cali is paranoid, but not usually totally wrong about what she's sensing. It could be just that Mom's worried that Cali's still sick, or about her students keeping up with their work here, or that the world is going to end in three weeks and there aren't enough space ships to get everyone off the planet. Well, probably not the last one, but any of the others maybe. When the bell rang he bottled his potion and walked up to the front of the room to put it on the desk. Purple. Damn. It was apparently not supposed to be purple. The edge of his robe hid his bottle while the others moved around him to turn in their potions. He waited until the room was empty except for a few people packing their bags and moved next to Professor Snape. He held up the bottle. "So I seemed to have made a mistake. It's not poison, is it?"
Professor Snape snatched the bottle out of his hand and held it up to the light. He let out a long breath. "You neutralized the reaction too far. It's useless, but also harmless. What exactly are you doing?"
He stopped dancing in a circle and skipped to his bag. Hermione's mouth hung open. "Thanks Professor." He patted Hermione's shoulder. "I screwed up the potion! Help me study it later?"
She nodded and handed him his bag. "Sure. Um, are you okay?"
He pulled her out the door and up toward the Transfiguration classroom. "Wonderful." He skidded to a stop. "You know, he took the bottle out of my hand rather quickly. Like he was worried about it or something." He started walking again as Hermione tugged on his robe. "Sometimes I really hate it when Cali's right." He waved his arm at Hermione as they reached the door. "I promise I'll tell you later if it does turn out to be something. I could just be paranoid. We could both just be paranoid. It's certainly happened before." He sat next to Ron and took a few deep breaths to calm down.
Professor McGonagall swept into the room with Biara next to her. "Today we're going to work with our guests. It seems that our two classes are having the opposite problems, so you can help each other. We're going to move down the hall to one of the larger classrooms." Everyone packed up and followed the women down the hall. "Split up and join one of the other students."
The students were spread around the room at pairs of desks with one student at each. Harry moved over and plopped next to Jason. "Where's everyone else? Skiving off and eating sugar?"
Jason twisted his pencil in his fingers. "I suck at Transfig. They're in a higher class with a different professor. Wanna explain it all and get me out of here and up to where I can transfigure chairs to attack people or something?"
Harry took the pencil and tossed it at his head. "Okay, sure. What do you need to know?"
"The problem the rest of the class is having doesn't really apply to me; I actually understood it for once, but I do have a very important question." Jason pulled a hedgehog out of his bag and set it on the table. "Now tell me. Why, in the name of all things chocolate, would I ever want to bother turning this into a pincushion? I can go to the dollar store and buy all the ones I want. They can be different shapes and colors and some can even be magnetic. I can't turn a hedgehog into a magnetic pincushion. As a hedgehog, it's pretty cute as it is and evolution made it what it is. Why should I screw with the cutie?" He petted its head.
With one incantation there was a pincushion on the desk. Harry poked it and shrugged. "I've always seen it this way, but I don't know if it's right. I think that there really is no point to it. Yes it's a pincushion, but it will turn back soon because it's not a permanent transformation. You can go and buy one at the store so it's not really that much more convenient, and it is kind of cruel to use a living creature like this. The only thing I could figure out is that you can't run before you crawl. The useful stuff, changing yourself to adapt to your environment in an emergency or changing your enemy into something to stop him, changes things too far away from what they are meant to be. The pincushion still looks much like the hedgehog so it's easier to get there. It's a change, but it's not that much of a stretch of the imagination. It's a little harder to accept that you can turn yourself into a fish, or part fish, to swim somewhere. You accept that this is something that you have to do to get to where you really want to be. It's the confidence you need to do transfiguration. You have to be sure that you want it to happen for the spell to work." He returned the hedgehog to its animate state.
Jason closed his eyes and cast the spell. "I made a pincushion!" He poked at it and it stayed still on solid on the desk.
Biara wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Congratulations Jason. May I just say, finally. Did you finally admit that it isn't all that cute?"
Jason turned it back and petted its head. "I love my little Herbie. Take that back."
With a squeeze to Harry's shoulder she moved off. "I don't know how you managed it, but thank you. I was losing hope on that transformation, especially after one of the hedgehog's mysteriously disappeared from my classroom after we did this lesson a few years ago." She knelt next to Harry's desk as Jason pulled Herbie closer to his side. "Are you doing all right? Everything going well?"
Harry nodded and patted her shoulder. "Everything's good. Don't worry about me. It's all pretty much back to normal now."
"How wonderful." She stood and moved on to the next pair.
Jason whistled. "Well, I guess I owe Kyle five bucks. I really thought I was right this time." They leaned over as Mom moved to the front to help another pair. "So Cali's not just being paranoid again? A lot has happened lately. I thought maybe she was just finally reacting to all that's gone on." He leaned closer. "Any ideas what's actually happening?"
"I think it's about me." Harry pulled out his wand. "Professor Snape was acting odd in class today too." He shrugged. "Now, since you actually got this assignment, how can I better turn you or myself into a mammal without getting lost in it?"
Jason pulled out his book and flipped to a marked page. "This is what always got me out of the consciousness of the animal. I never did the spell on someone else, I got kicked out of the lesson before that section for dying the desk blue, but Kevin says that it's sometimes a matter of just distancing yourself from the person you're going to cast on so that you don't get yourself caught in the wave of the spell."
Harry twisted his wand in his hand. "Well, here goes nothing then."
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Harry jumped onto the couch next to Cali. "So whatever I see, I already know you're right."
Green strings dropped to the floor. "Aren't you supposed to be doing something?" Cali hung her head back over the couch and picked them up, lacing them around her fingers and making the cat's cradle web.
The room was empty except for them, books and papers abandoned on the tables. Harry turned back to Cali's disappearing head. "Yeah, at lunch like everyone else. I won't bother asking why you aren't there. Severus and Biara are acting weird. You're right. Do we find out what's wrong now?"
Cali spun around and curled her feet under her, tossing the strings on the side table. "She told me this morning." She twisted her hair around her fingers, playing with the ends. Shifting again, she pushed against him with her toes and twisted the hem of his robes. "We're going back next week. Dad replaced the last of the personal wards two days ago. They've been testing them ever since. They're about three times stronger than the old ones. Everyone's healthy and I'm fine and she said that you're fine, so we're going back, thereby ending our fun little holiday." She draped her legs across his lap. "This sucks." She shrugged. "I know that I have to go eventually and I do miss home, but I don't want to go yet."
He wrapped his hands around hers. "I'll be all right. I did every stupid thing possible already, what's left? And you've got everything you've always had, so you'll be fine too." Her legs slid to the floor and he stood. "I've got to get to Charms. Do you still want me to come down tonight?"
Cali threw herself forward and hugged him. "Yes. I need to get my Harry time in somehow. We'll all hang out in our lounge, okay? Seven good?"
Harry kissed her forehead. "I'll see you then." He scooped his bag up and headed to class.
The Great Hall was filled with irritating students squealing about their pointless days. The Gryffindors were missing their main attraction. Granger and Weasley seemed unconcerned with Harry's nonattendance of the second meal that day. But then, they didn't figure out there was anything wrong when the boy nearly killed himself either. Children are idiots at this age. Perhaps I reacted too much to his potion this morning. I could have given him the idea that something was wrong. Morganna was already suspicious to begin with and when she asked him for his opinion she put him on alert. He would have been watching for any odd actions or conversations. Biara said she told Morganna that they would be leaving before lunch. If Harry went to her or she found him then he knows now. A group of Slytherins laughed, breaking the steady hum. The Gryffindors started muttering and whispering to each other. As if everything a Slytherin could find amusing would be offensive or mean to Gryffindors. Most of it maybe, but certainly not all. Harry entered the hall and slid in next to his friends. He seems to be smiling as much as every. Almost annoyingly cheerful. He hasn't talked to Morganna yet then. I will have to watch him over the next few days. Perhaps I should give him detention so I can talk to him about this. Six or seven crates of ingredients should be coming in this week. He could use something to do to distract him once they're gone. He'll have more free time once again. Not that anything has been normal for that boy since school's started. Severus stabbed his fork into another piece of potato. It squished between his teeth and he swallowed it. Disgustingly bland as always. He took the salt from Chris and covered his food in it. He took another bite and gagged. Too much salt. He pushed the plate back and slouched in his chair. Eating is so pointless. You lose the time to do anything else and yet you have to keep doing it every day. A plate of cake slid in front of him.
Biara patted his arm. "You know that you do have to eat something. You don't want to faint in the middle of one of your classes." With a large smile she turned back to her chicken and resumed a conversation about the pros and cons of temporary transfigurations with Minerva.
Severus took a bite of cake. She wouldn't be satisfied until it was gone either. He was a grown man for Merlin's sake. He could decide when he wanted to eat and when he didn't. But no, everyone tried to get him to eat and be nice to people. If he wanted to be an idiot like the rest of the world he could brew a potion to dissolve his brain. They should be grateful that he isn't since it's all that kept their little savior alive. He shoved the cake to the side and left the table, shoving Biara's hand aside when she tired to stop him. He quickly headed back to the dungeon. There is no point in looking at the unfairness of the world. You have to deal with how things exist. Footsteps echoed in the empty stone hall. He spun and crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for them to round the corner. "There is no running in the halls. Ten points fromâMr. Potter? Where are you going exactly?"
Bent over his knees he caught his breath before he stood. He tried to smooth his hair. "I just wanted to tell you that Cali told me that they're leaving soon. I know everyone is worried about me, Biara was acting odder than usual, but I think I'll be fine this time. Ron and Hermione know this time so things are different. I think, I hope, I've learned my lesson by this point, but I was hoping that we could start Occlumency lessons again since they helped me to clear my mind and keep things in perspective."
"Are you trying to reassure me or something, Mr. Potter?" This boy thinks he knows the answer to everything.
Harry took a step back. "Of course not." He chewed on his thumbnail. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea you've ever had Harry. "You know, you're probably right. I can keep my mind closed, so I'm fine." He looked around and took another step back. "I'd better get back to the tower. I've got homework to do." He turned and walked quickly around the corner then ran up the stairs and to the common room. The portrait swung shut behind him and he dropped into a chair next to Hermione. "So, um, what do I have to do for potions? I wasn't exactly paying a lot of attention to what was going on after I realized my potion was wrong." Harry scratched his neck. "I should have paid more attention to the heat after I neutralized it I think."
Hermione rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers on the table. "One day I'm going to tell you guys that you'll just have to figure it out on your own. Or go ask the Professor. That might make a good lesson."
Her fingernails indented his skin when he put his palm under hers. "Well that wasn't my brightest idea." He pulled his hand back and rubbed his skin. "How about we leave off the whole asking Professor Snape to repeat the assignment until next time. I already made a fool of myself in front of him today and I don't want to do it again so soon." He waved his hand when she opened her mouth. "I'll explain later. Right now I just want to wallow a bit and do my homework." He turned her planner around when she pushed it across the table and copied the assignment into his book. "Thanks. Ugh." He fell against the back of the chair. "Maybe I was lying about wanting to do homework." He flipped open his book and hid behind it, avoiding the paper ball she chucked at him. "Ok. I get it. I'll do my work. No worries."
She pushed the book back to the table. "You've told me more than once today that you'd tell me what was going on later. Is this one of those times when I should push because you need to talk, or one of the times when you'll just pout and get nothing done for the rest of the day if I don't let it go?"
He bit the inside of his cheek. "Cali is leaving soon. What I mean is that they're all going back, all the Academy students. The repairs to the school were just finished and have all been checked. Everyone was just a little worried because last time we, um, parted, things didn't end up going to well for either of us. Before you start panicking and looking for signs that I'm not doing well, I want to say that I don't feel nearly as upset or angry this time around. As long as she's alive we can still communicate in some way, and since Mom and Chris know how close we got, they'll make sure we're able to. And I think I just gave myself the optimism to be able to start my homework, so can I?"
With a sigh, Hermione waved her hand and pushed his book back up. "I'm glad you're okay Harry."
He winked over his book and ducked back down.
Cali shifted more onto his shoulder. "So I may have done something slightly illegal." She pulled out a cross necklace.
Harry took it and wrapped his fingers around it, making fingerprints on the metal. "How'd you rework it?" He turned his face toward her. "You did rework it, didn't you? Unless you're trying to drive me insane again."
She smacked his leg and settled back down. "I took out everything that let the power radiate out, and specified it so the only magic it can work off of is ours, and even then it requires physical contact and conscious intent to activate. It's only illegal on your end though. I had Dad help me with it. He said that he wouldn't mind having a way to check up on you."
Harry turned and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "This is going to work. Everything will be okay. I won't try to kill myself, you won't get kidnapped, and things will be back to normal."
Cal sighed and played with his fingers. "When things are normal, don't you end up getting attacked by Voldemort?"
Harry pulled his hand away. "That tickles! And yes, but that's just how things work." A throat cleared and Harry tilted his head back into the grass. "Hey Draco. It's been a while." He patted the ground. "Have a seat."
Draco glanced back and lowered himself to the ground. "I came to apologize for ignoring you, but I'm not actually sorry because you disappeared first without explaining what led to that scene in the Great Hall."
Cali giggled and waved her hand in the air. "So you came out here to fail to apologize?" She patted his knee. "I think I like this boy." She pressed her hand to the bump under her shirt. "Dad's calling, it's time to leave." She wrapped her arms around him. "Don't forget to write me. I'm going to be buried in work trying to catch up and that will force me to take a break once in a while." She sat up, sniffed, and ran toward the main entrance.
Harry flopped back down, scratching his neck and pushing the grass out of the way. "I really don't want to do my homework. I think I'll lie here and never move."
Draco got up and brushed the dead leaves off his cloak. "Well who does want to do homework? Be serious, staying out here won't do you any good, it's freezing. Can you at least fail to do your work inside where it's warm like the rest of the students?" He yanked Harry up and adjusted his gloves. "Well, accept for Granger and most of the Ravenclaws, but I don't think that's normal. Hopefully."
Harry picked his cloak off the ground and fastened it as they moved toward the castle. "Draco, can you do me a favor?"
There were several feet and three sighs before Draco responded. "It depends what the favor is I suppose. If you want to sleep with me to find out if you're really homosexual or not, I'm afraid I'll have to decline."
The stone railing caught his cloak as he fell against it. He forced himself to breathe between his fits of laughing. "No! Oh Merlin, I can't breath." He dropped to the bottom steps, shifting his cloak under him as the cold seeped through his robe. He took a few stable, deep breaths. "Um, actually, as, interesting, as your idea is, I just wanted to ask you if you'd keep watch over me for awhile. I don't plan on doing anything dumb, but then I didn't plan on it last time either." He shrugged and leaned back against the next step up. "I just want a safety net, just in case things go downhill quicker than I can deal with."
Draco brushed the dirt off the step before he joined Harry. "Having been petrified when you tried to kill yourself while I still hated you, of course I'll watch you." He straightened his part after a gust of wind scented with pine trees and something sweet. "I was going to do it anyway. Now can we finally make it inside? This is beginning to get ridiculous."
They got up and pushed through the main doors. "You're really an arse sometimes, Draco." Harry clapped him on the shoulder. "See you in class." He joined a group of Gryffindor fourth years headed toward the tower.
Another endless day of classes began as Harry dragged himself into the Potion's classroom and slumped onto his stool with a yawn. He unpacked his supplies and dropped his forehead to the desk for a moment before slipping his arm under it to absorb the chill.
Hermione poked her finger into his side. "Were you up late studying again?" She pushed his hair out of his eyes as he turned his head away. "I told you that you needed to sleep. Between sending owls everyday and doing the extra work you asked Biara for you haven't gotten to bed before two all week. Dobby told me he found you sleeping over your books twice." She turned his head back when he pushed her hand away. "I know that you want to learn anything that might help against Voldemort, but you'll never be able to beat him if you sleep through the fight."
"Granger's right." Draco pulled Harry's eyelid open for a moment and let go. His breath brushed against Harry's ear. "I think this also might constitute killing yourself. YOU asked ME to watch out for you and you've brushed me off a dozen times this week. I talked to Professor Snape last night. I'm to tell you to stay after class." He leaned back to avoid Harry's head as it popped up. "I'm sorry, but it had to be done. I tried to work this out between us. It's not my fault you wouldn't work within your own plan." He moved back to his seat and barely kept from slamming his supplies on the desk.
The door slammed behind Professor Snape as he walked down the aisle, spun, and crossed his arms. "This is a pop quiz." He pulled out his wand and sent a scroll flying to each student. "I suggest you begin now if you hope to finish."
Harry softly set his books on the ground, dipped his quill, and started the first essay. He nodded and leaned closer to his paper when Professor Snape glared at him. This is going to be the anti-fun of all conversations.
Idiot boy cannot even keep himself alive when left to himself. Occlumency my arse. He's too good at it already. Three weeks and I couldn't tell that anything was wrong except for being a bit more tired. His schoolwork was fine, improving even, and not one of the other teachers said that anything was wrong. Almost all of them mentioned how he was improving. Of course he's better now. At the beginning of the year he was overdosing on magic, letting Voldemort manipulate his actions while half asleep in class, and trying to kill himself when things got rough. Is there any possible way that he could have gotten worse without being dead? He turned away from the class and stalked to his desk. The charred goose livers from the previous class still smelled like rotting fruit. How anyone could make a potion so wrong as to make that reaction and following smell is unbelievable. Useless children. They're going to grow up and poison themselves trying to make a simple pepper up potion. He glared at a pair of whispering Slytherins who slid their chairs farther apart and bent closer to their parchments. He settled into his chair and uncorked his bottle of red ink. A class of second years is going to be miserable when they get their papers back. Perhaps if more than half of them had read the text and figured out that the essay had nothing to do with food and everything to do with the explosive qualities of nuts when added whole to a mixture with too little liquid to absorb the shock wave caused when the outer shell bursts they would have managed to create slightly more intelligent compositions. Perhaps they should have to redo the essay at twice the length. Hm. He glanced around the room. Harry's head rested on his arm as he scratched out answers, yawing every few minutes. "Time is up. Roll up your scrolls and leave them on my desk."
Miss Granger glanced at her watch and raised her hand. "Sir, we have ten minutes left in class."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "And how exactly does that affect this situation? Everyone hand in your scrolls now and get out."
The Gryffindors scrambled to get out of the room followed by the Slytherins. Harry stood at his desk, watching everyone file out. When the room was empty Severus spelled the door shut. Harry walked over and set his scroll on the desk, stepping back and staring at his feet.
"Sit, Mr. Potter." He stood and pulled out a chair from the first row. "Explain to me exactly what you have been up to that caused Mr. Malfoy to seek me out."
Harry scratched at his chin, pulling a scab off and pressed his finger against the spot. "I've just been studying a lot lately. I got behind while all that Jason stuff was going on and I've been trying to catch up. Plus, I've still got work from Mom to do. I didn't want people bothering me when I was trying to work, so maybe I blew Draco off a few times, but it's not that serious."
He pushed on the loose heel of his right shoe with the left one. "I hate when you just sit there until I tell you everything. It's creepy, you know, and it works a little too well." He pulled his feet onto the chair and rested his head on his knees. "I've been having dreams. They aren't about Voldemort or from him so you don't have to get worried, but I just haven't been able to sleep well lately. I've been studying instead to try and get back to sleep, and a few times I've fallen asleep over my books." He pushed his hair behind his ears. "I thought Draco noticed I was using glamours to cover how tired I really was, so I started pushing him off and avoiding him. That's all this is. I'm not hiding my poison concoctions in some spooky hidden lab or overdosing on magic or drugs or anything else. So can I go to my next class now?"
Severus took a vial of Dreamless sleep from his desk and handed it to Harry. "Take it for no more than four consecutive nights. Ideally allow two nights between every use. If the dreams continue for more than another week you WILL come back and we will find a solution. Agreed?"
The chair scraped against the stones. "All right." He took the vial and slipped it into a pocket of his bag. "Thank you." He picked up his bag and slipped out the door.
Well that's the chapter. I'm not happy with the style of some of it, but I can't fix it yet, so it'll have to do for now. Reviews are greatly appreciated because it does inspire me and also lets me know where I am in my success or less than success with the story. Thanks for reading. :)