Two Weeks Later
The sparse furnishings of the ship's only sleeping quarters now provided the backdrop for Obi-Wan's own meditation. He felt Anakin's agitation and couldn't help but feel as if he was the one responsible for it. Doubts had begun to plague him about this mission, as he realized how ill prepared he and Anakin were.
There had been a detectable effect from his mind-tricks: his inability to remember and, if one believed the gossip about one's self, serious bouts of melancholy. He hadn't realized what embarking on his quest to find total balance would mean; he wasn't prepared for it.
What was I thinking? We're not ready for this. I was wrong to push so hard...
(What! You're losing focus, Kenobi! Remember why we're doing this!)
Obi-Wan sighed. Is putting Anakin as such risk worth it? I mean really worth it?
(...You're joking, right? We are not having this conversation, are we?)
I mean can I handle both the mission and finding...
(Of course you can, half-wit! You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying, have you? You could be great, Obi-Wan. GREAT. Just stick to the plan and we can do this...)
But Anakin–
(Forget Anakin! You'll only be able to use Anakin as an excuse for so long. I suggest you make the most of his time with you.)
At first, he hadn't recalled what he had done to get this mission, but slowly, over the last two weeks it had been coming back to him and he wasn't sure he liked what he was seeing...
(These thoughts are why so many before you failed. When one side is mastered, the other is more difficult to integrate, as the compromises needed, the trade-offs that ensue between both Light and Dark, are felt more poignantly. You must be prepared to lose parts of what you know to learn what you want.)
But what if I don't want to lose those parts of me?
(You may feel overly attached to your alignment now, since it is all that you know. But when the time comes, Obi-Wan, it won't matter. You will do everything in your power to get what you want, and you will not care what is sacrificed.)
You're wrong. I will master the balance and retain what I am, as well as who I will be. I will keep all that I know of the Light and add to it the secrets of the Dark.
(Then you will fail and take your place in the long list of those who have tried and did not succeed. The place of glory will be denied to you forever.)
Obi-Wan felt hot tears sting his eyes. The part of him that was still wholly Jedi was suffering from extreme guilt...