Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom
A/N: Okay, sorry if I made this last chapter seem like the end of the story, because it's not, there's still more to come! Just felt like announcing that so people don't get confused! Sorry for any discrepancies!
After about a day on the train we reached the port. We jumped off a little before so that we wouldn't be caught on the train.
He took my hand and we both leaped off the train, landing in a field. We stood there a moment, brushing the hay off ourselves, trying to make ourselves look reasonably tidy. And we walked into town before went to the port. We each bought an extra set of clothes along with two cloth bags to carry them in. Then we went to go buy tickets.
I did the actual transaction so as not to draw attention to Erik. And within an hour we boarded the ship. We were traveling 3rd class. We didn't want to waste our money on trivial things when we would need our money later.
"Erik?" I asked once we were in our room.
"Yes, ma biche?"
"Where will we go once we reach America?"
"I believe we will stay in New Orleans, that is where the ship is headed. They speak both French and English there."
On the two week journey, Erik stayed in our room most of the time. He came out on deck in the middle of the night usually. Sometimes I came with him. Sometimes I sensed that he wanted to be alone and I left him. As for food, I would go out in the day and bring it back for him. It would have been a dismal voyage, were it not for the fact that we had each other.
I had come to realize that I felt more love for him than the love of a friend, but I didn't know his feelings towards me. I knew at this point that he cared about me, but I didn't know what else. Sometimes without speaking Erik would come in from being out and embrace me. I would put my head to his chest and listen to the beating of our hearts.
Erik usually would only be gone for twenty minutes or so but one time he was gone for longer, possibly forty-five. So I went out to look for him. I stepped out of the room and looked both ways down the hallway. I then made my way to the upper level of the ship. I found him on the back of the ship, leaning on the railing and looking up at the stars.
"Erik?" He turned around, "Are you alright? I got worried?"
"Ma cherie, you need not worry about me. I'm just an old man."
"I don't care, I'll worry about you as much as I like." I walked up to him and stood by him.
Here we were, standing in silence, as two murderers. Two friends.
Last night when we had both returned to our room, Erik lay down on his own bed while I did the same. I wished he was next to me. I wished we were sharing warmth.
I knew he was awake since it had only been minutes since we came back. I wanted to ask him something. I wanted to ask him what he thought of me. But I knew I couldn't for this very reason: if I asked him, he could ask me…what if he didn't feel the same way? What would I answer then? I couldn't lie.
Erik my heart pleaded Won't you tell me? Won't you show me your feelings?
I knew he cared, as I have said before, but I wanted more than that. I wanted pure love. Not the kind one usually gets from a mother or father, but the kind one receives from a lover.
Love me, Erik, love me…
When I awoke I found that Erik was up. He was sitting on his bed staring into space.
"Would you like breakfast?" I asked him.
"Yes, that would be lovely, thank you." I picked up my hand mirror and straightened out my hair.
"Turn around, would you? I'd like to get dressed." And he turned around to allow me to change gowns. Once I was fully clothed I informed him and he turned back around.
Then I left the room to go get some breakfast. For the 3rd class passengers, there was a small buffet with minimal things like bread, butter, and cheese and water for drinking. As I was gathering some bread and cheese in a small napkin, I heard laughter.
It was coming from behind me, I looked over. There was a handsome man and a pretty woman, both dressed in rags. The man grabbed her around the waist, tickled her, and she laughed. And he laughed with her. Finally he let go and the woman stood on her toes and kissed him.
I was fascinated. Lovers. They looked so happy together.
I sighed and continued bringing gather some food and water.
I brought it back to the room and I gave Erik his portion. He took off his mask and began eating. I just sat on my bed though, not touching the food. I was thinking about those two people.
But Erik obviously noticed I wasn't touching my food.
"You're not eating." He observed.
"Oh yes, I'm just not hungry right now. I'll be back." I left the room. I had to be alone. I went up on deck. It was cold but I didn't care. I looked out toward the sky. It was grey. The water mirrored it. I went to go stand at the back of the boat where Erik and I had stood last night.
For once I wasn't immersed in Erik's spell. I was thinking of my own family. And the love I was supposed to have received from them.
My mother, she was the first to die. And she was the first I said goodbye to. Then my father. I shot him. My own father. But I felt no remorse. Was it cold of me? Or was it because he beat me enough so that in the case of his own pain, I was hardened.
I replayed the scene in my head over and over.
"You're the monster," I said and then I shot him. Maybe the reason I felt nothing was because of what he said last.
"Roxanne, you bitch…"
My father said that to his own daughter. But it didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would. I didn't care about him thus I didn't care about what he said. His words meant nothing to me.
"Fine Father, you finally got to say what you wanted. I hope you are happy." And I thought that would satisfy me. But it didn't.
The thing was, I felt no remorse for my father dying, but I did feel guilty for killing two of my kind. Maybe it was the fact that I had killed a person. It didn't matter who. I had killed not one, but two people. What about the other man? What if he had a family? What if he had a lover? A wife?
I shunned the thoughts. It didn't matter. They were trying to take me away from Erik. My Erik. I couldn't allow it.
The night we reached New Orleans, the first thing we did was try to find somewhere to live.
After wandering around awhile we came across this old abandoned looking house near no other houses. There were no "No trespassing" signs so we assumed no one any longer owned it.
Erik opened the door for me and I went in first. It was a dark place but at least it was dry. Erik walked around a bit and examined it.
"This will do. Is it alright with you?" He asked me.
"Yes, it's fine. At least we're alive."
"You should get some sleep." Erik said. And he lay out his cloak on the floor and put his bag of clothing by it.
I lay down. "What are you going to do?" I said.
"I'm not sure."
I hesitated. "Lie with me?" He complied. Erik got down on the floor next to me. "Will you sing to me?"
"Ma biche, of course I will." And he sang the first song he had ever sung for me.
The next morning the sunlight that was pouring in the windows woke me. It had been so long since I had seen real sunlight. The sun warmed my skin and I smiled. It was so wonderful.
I looked around. No Erik.
"Erik," I called his name. And within seconds of me calling, he walked in from another room.
"Yes, ma cherie?"
"I need to talk to you," I said. I was feeling nervous but I had to say it.
"What is it?" He came and sat by me.
"I…Erik, I love you…"
He didn't say anything at first. Then he spoke. "I love you as well, ma biche."
"Kiss me." I said. I could feel the desperation within me overflowing and I was sure it was coming across in my voice. He removed his mask. And the moment before his lips touched mine…I woke up.
I lay there. It was a dream. It was just a dream.
Just like the dream, Erik was no longer beside me. But instead of a sunny bright morning, it was grey and gloomy. I stood up and stretched. Then I made my way into the next room. Now that there was some light, I was able to see my surroundings
The house was large but extremely worn and run down. The paint was peeling everywhere, some windows were broken, and I even discovered, when I walked into the kitchen, that the roof was partially caved in.
But where was Erik? Walked toward on of the windows near the back of the house. There was a small river. Then I noticed something.
Erik was standing in the middle of it, bathing. He was shirtless and I quickly averted my eyes. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I returned to my original spot. I sat down on a nearby chair and waited. I thought that I should bathe myself as well and after Erik returned I did.
"We require nourishment." Erik said.
"I agree, I'm hungry." And with that, Erik gave me some money and I went out.
New Orleans was a big city and in it I felt a little lost. I had never been out in a city alone before except for those two times back in Paris.
I had the money in my pocket so it wouldn't be out in open view. As I walked, I took in all the different sights, many of them different from what I had known in Paris. I finally found a small market. I purchased several loaves of bread and some of the cheapest cheese I could find. I wanted to buy the most frugal meals I could scrounge together.
Then as if fate was finally starting to go my way, I noticed a small sign. On it were words written in French, allowing me to read them. It was job offering, advertising a job as a maid at one of the manors in the area. I pulled the sign off the wall and quickly I started walking toward the broken down house to go check with Erik and deposit the groceries. When the house was in sight, I ran the rest of the way.
"Erik!" I shouted. And he ran out.
"What is it?" He asked, afraid it was something bad.
"Relax, nothing has happened, it's just this, I found this!" I handed him the sign. He read it over and then looked at me.
"Can I?" I asked.
"Of course you can, you don't need my permission."
"I'm going to go right now. Goodbye!" And with that I handed the groceries to Erik and ran off again.
When I reached the manor, I quickly brushed myself off, and fixed my hair, trying to make myself look as neat as possible. I opened the gate and let myself in. Then I went up to the front door and knocked.
The butler opened the door.
"What business do you have here, mademoiselle?" He asked. I held up the sign. "Oh, yes, the job offering, come in."
I came in. The foyer was a large room with stairs leading up different ways on both sides. It was a very white house. But it was pretty.
I was led to one room that looked like a parlor.
"You may be seated." The butler told me. I sat down on the sofa. I waited for maybe twenty minutes. Then finally someone entered. It was a woman, dressed in a long-sleeved gown. She had the traditional wasp waistline of the era. The woman wasn't particularly extraordinary but I had a feeling that she was the lady of the manor. And she was. After a brief interview, she made her decision.
"Alright, my dear, you have the job. Be here by 7 in the morning. And you are free to go at 5 in the afternoon. Audrey will help you with your new chores and she will get you your uniforms. You start tomorrow morning. Audrey!" She called. A maid with red hair entered the room. "Get this young woman her uniform and tell her what she is to do each day."
"Yes, Madame."
"Thank you." I stood up and followed Audrey to the servants quarters where some of the maids lived.
Audrey was a pretty woman, probably around her late twenties.
In the servants quarters, she pulled a uniform off the shelf.
"This should fit you." She held up a knee length dress to my body. Then she refolded it and handed it to me along with another dress, two aprons, and a head dress. She then pulled from the shelf a pair of worn down boots. "Try these on." I did and they fit reasonably well.
"Remember, be here at 7 tomorrow, no later, try to get here earlier though, you don't want them upset with you." I nodded.
"Thank you." I said. And with that, I was off, back to Erik to tell him the good news.
That's it :-)