Disclaimer: I don't own the Bible. God does. But, since God doesn't actually exist, so the Bible doesn't really belong to anyone. Not including the people who bought the revised King James version at Borders or on eBay. Or religious figures such as the pope and the bishop. In other words, this disclaimer is pointless and pretty much here for humor.
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Introduction
Congratulations, reader! You have in your hands the must-have book for every supreme being! We will teach you, step by step, every lesson that all gods should know, from how to create your giant ball of earth and water, to how to destroy it.
Some acts in this book may represent prejudice, abuse of power, etc., but the beauty part is, no one will notice! And those who do notice will be disregarded by those who don't! But be forewarned: If you actually want to be a nice, loving, impartial god, drop this book and get some tips from Buddha. But if you want to be a respected, all-powerful god, this is the book for you. Capisce? Okay, then let's get started.