I finally got a break from homework, but I don't know how long this writing spree will last, sorry. Anyway, this chapter finally introduces the emotional conflict and (finally) some shipping. Don't automatically assume that I'll ship one way, for I tend to twist things up. You'll see.
Disclaimer: I own only the story, nothing else. The computer's not even mine.
Chapter 6
This was the part of fighting that he hated the most: the waiting and licking the wounds part. He grimaced as he moved a bit, trying to get comfortable without causing more damage to himself. These bandages were only getting in the way now, not really helping anyone, most especially himself. Groaning, he attempted to get back to sleep, but he was finding that practically impossible now that he was so uncomfortable.
Without realizing it, he let his gaze fall on her sleeping figure. His eyes followed the movement of her body as she breathed more easily now that the effects of the xinothium had worn off a bit. He hadn't realized how much she really did sacrifice for them, putting peices of herself into different objects to protect people that she hardly knew...and those that she loved. She tensed up a bit in her sleep, contesting with an unseen foe before she returned to a peaceful slumber.
Everything was so confusing to him right now. Now that love had begun to enter the picture with him and his friends, he could hardly seem to get his mind off of it. First it was the incident when they were stranded on that desolate planet, then it had been restoring hope to his two best friends, and now he found himself trying to make up his mind. He had many more feelings than he had ever even wanted to have, and now it was just getting confusing. He sighed. He just wanted everything to clear up so that he could make up his mind and decide exactly how he felt about each and every one of his teammates, but life wasn't like that, as he had learned so many times lately.
There were moments when he thought he knew, of course, like when Starfire and he had been on that planet and alone together. Back then he had thought that he had straightened it all out, that he knew what these feelings were, but then something else, something bigger, had happened. The end of the world. Not only had it been the adventure of a lifetime, but he had then discovered his own feelings for someone else, someone who he had always thought of as a close friend, but never anything more. But once he had started to spill his emotions, he ended up only spinning a more tangled web for himself.
There were times when he just wanted to be like a normal kid again, but after all he had been through and all that he had accomplished, turning back really didn't seem like an option anymore. Besides, he had come to enjoy the company of his teammates, and maybe even the company of others more than the rest. There were times when he wished that he could be like them, having true powers instead of having to fight one's way to the top, having to stick it out with training and agility while the others got by with their own unique abilities. And on top of it all, he just wanted to have normal crushes!
Of course, he loved his teammates, though he wouldn't ever admit it to their faces, but there were times when he wished that their powers wouldn't get in the way. For instance, when he and Starfire had been stranded on the planet together. He had been the cause of the failure of her powers, and that had haunted his conscience for some time afterwards, knowing that he could be responsible for putting her in danger. Then there was the fact that Raven had the unique ability to destroy things whenever she felt a strong emotion. How was he supposed to deal with that if she was the one for him? How was he supposed to know who the right person was for him anyway?
Groaning, he flopped back onto his pillows, all hope of getting a good night's sleep now lost in his thoughts. This was also the part of being a superhero that he hated: the fact that he didn't have any normal friends. Just once, he wished that he could hug Raven without worrying about getting blown to smithereens or that he could talk about his feelings with Starfire without worrying about what dangers he would be putting himself in. Sometimes he just wished that he could have a map that laid out exactly what he was supposed to do with his life so that he could get...to...sleep!
She stirred once more, her eyebrows furrowing as she moved about a bit. He sat perfectly still, not wanting to wake her from her peaceful sleep, but Raven didn't always do what was expected of her. That was what made her unique, he supposed. Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing those deep pools of lavender that were her eyes. For a moment, he found himself lost in those pools of color before she spoke, bringing him out of his confusing thoughts. "What are you doing awake at this time of night?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I couldn't get to sleep. There are too many thoughts going through my head at once." It was partially the truth anyway. He couldn't ever tell her the real truth, for fear of getting smashed by her powers and for the simple reason that he found it entirely too difficult to reveal his feelings to anyone. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why he wore a mask, to hide from the rest of the world. It gave him some security, and he reveled in it.
She smiled one of her warm, comforting smiles at him and he felt as if the world were melting before him as she spoke. "It's not good to obsess over things, you know." What truth was stored in that single statement! She spoke from experience, both from watching his mistakes and from making her own, another thing that the two of them had in common.
He couldn't keep his feeling inside any longer, he knew, but how to say them without giving away what he was talking about? "But what if the thing that you are thinking about is worth obsessing over?" he asked, hoping that whatever advice she planned to give him would benefit in some way, even if it didn't solve his problem.
Unfortunately, she went the wrong direction with it. "Slade's not worth obsessing over, Robin. He's a criminal. You're above that and you know it. Don't bring yourself back down to his level by constantly thinking about it." She rolled over, pulling the covers up to her shoulders. "Now go to sleep."
His expression saddened. Was that what the others thought he was like? Always obsessing over Slade and nothing else? A focused warrior with no emotions except a burning hatred to find those who did wrong and make them pay? He shook his head. He had been that way once, and he was never going back. But how was he supposed to change an image like that? He had painted himself into a corner, and the image he had painted was a false one of himself. "It's not about Slade this time, I swear!" he blurted out.
She sat up, a bit angry that he still wanted to talk at this time of night, but glad that it wasn't going to be about Slade anymore. "That's new," she said simply, not wanting to sat anything more. She had a knack at getting others to say what they needed to say and to answer their own questions without uttering more than a few words. Maybe she could do that this time and get back to sleep sooner.
He nodded, glad that he finally had her attention. "Yeah. This time, it's about something bigger than that. Something so...vast that I can't seem to grasp it." He was avoiding saying outright that he couldn't grasp his own emotions, trying to get her to understand that on her own, but with her, she could get anyone to spill their guts without even trying.
Crossing her legs, she stared into his masked eyes, trying to read his expression. "That important, huh?" she stated simply, searching his face for some kind of clue as to what in the world this boy was trying to say that was making him so uncomfortable.
Smiling, he nodded vigorously, trying to find the words that would explain it to her. "Yep. You see, there's this, um, friend of mine. Well, actually, two friends of mine. And they're both really awesome and I love to be around them," he paused, wondering whether he had said too much.
She nodded, her eyes still studying him as if she was trying to read a book, making him a bit uncomfortable. "Would I know these friends?" she asked without even changing her expression.
Pausing for a minute, he tried to decide how to keep this conversation from revealing any names, especially hers. "Well, you might. I don't know where all you traveled before you joined the team. Odds are, you probably do." There, that was vague enough, he hoped.
"Alright," she said.
He sighed in frustration. That was the thing with Raven. If you asked her for advice, she'd let you do all the talking. Not really much of a conversation. Then again, he supposed that was what it was like for the others when they were trying to talk to him. He never was a conversational type, preferring to get straight down to business. Perhaps that was why he had so much trouble grasping and voicing his emotions. "Yeah, and well, you see... Well, these two friends of mine, they're both becoming dearer friends to me than I would have ever expected, and some people are even beginning to talk about relationships between us beyond friendship, even though we haven't ever even considered it. And now I think I am starting to consider it, but I'm not sure." Great, now he really WAS spilling his guts.
"You're not having girl troubles, are you Robin?" she asked with a slight twinkle in her eye.
He sighed. She'd guessed it without saying more than a few sentences. One of the many qualities that made her so likeable. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I am."
She sighed as well. "That's always complicated, isn't it? Trying to get your emotions straight. You think you may like somebody, but you don't know if they like you back. And then of course there's always the question of whether or not another person likes that person and whether or not they still have feelings for someone else..." she paused, realizing that she too was beginning to spill her guts.
He smiled mischeviously. "Having guy problems lately, Raven?"
She looked away for a moment, blushing, then looked back at him with a twinkle in her eyes. "I might be."
He leaned forward. "I'm listening."
She took a deep breath. Great, now the roles were reversed. That was one of his great qualities, the fact that he too could get you to talk without even realizing what he was doing. "Well, there's this one boy who I think I'm starting to like, but there's always the problem of whether or not he likes someone else, someone who might even be prettier and better for him. Then there's the problem of whether or not it's good for me to have a relationship at all, what with my powers and everything." She paused. "And then there's this other boy..."
His smile faltered. Another guy? He sighed. His hopes had been high that she might have been talking about him, but apparently not. "It's hard to decide between good friends, isn't it?" he asked, a smile now permanently present on his face.
She smiled and nodded slightly. "How do you choose? How do you decide who likes whom?" Dejectedly sighing, she finally said, "It was so much more simple before love entered the picture, wasn't it?"
He hadn't noticed it, but they were getting closer by the second. His eyes were now level with hers and he was feeling himself losing the battle with his emotions. "I don't know; I never thought it was a bad thing to be complicated," he said, his smile widening.
"I'm not saying that love is a bad thing," she said, looking away and pulling her knees to her chest. "It's just that everything's going in circles for me. That one boy had an obvious crush on somebody else, but now she might be out of the picture, and the other boy..." She trailed off, looking back at him. "Well, he might have feeling for me as well, but I fear that those feelings may be divided, as mine are."
He nodded, completely understanding her confusion. "It's hard, not knowing what to do or where to go, isn't it?"
She sighed and nodded, not saying a word, but letting her expression do all the talking. They leaned in closer to each other, their foreheads now touching. She leaned her head slightly to one side and closed her eyes as her emotions took over as well.
Their lips drew nearer and nearer, but they never connected, for a certain third party in the room had stirred, throwing a pillow in their direction and tearing them apart. "Get a room or something, would you? Some of us are trying to get to sleep!" Red X said, annoyed.
They looked away from each other, both now all the more confused. They had been so close to finding out if they were meant to be. Or was that the answer to their questions? Were they not meant to be? It seemed that every time they tried to get together, something pulled them apart once more. Perhaps they were not meant for each other at all. Either way, neither could find the courage to look back at the other, choosing instead to drift into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning proved better than the previous day. Raven spent much time meditating, and by mid-day, she was able to move about and attend to the boys wounds with her healing powers. She had been able to heal many of Robin's broken ribs and reduce Red X's injury to a minor one, but both boys were still incapacitated for a while until they were fully healed once more, and after her healing attempts, Raven found herself in bed once more, her energy drained from all the power required to perform such complicated procedures.
"So what time did you two get to sleep last night?" Red X asked mischeviously.
Robin glared at him and turned away. "We slept very soundly, thank you. What are you talking about?"
Red X was a bit confused. "But I saw you two smooching last night."
Raven spoke up. "We weren't kissing, if that's what you think. We were having an intellegent conversation, thanks."
"What about? The inside of your mouths?" X laughed.
Robin growled a bit before responding. "Actually, we were talking about the others. Not about each other...exactly."
Red X cocked his head to one side. "Exactly?"
Raven growled as well and charged up her hands. "Just drop it, low life. We may be helping you now, but we just may decide to walk out the door now."
X laughed. "Be my guest. Then that idiot'd be your problem. Now that I've established that I'm not Robin, I can get on with my life."
Raven shook her head. "So you don't think that he now thinks that you're working with us?"
X growled. "I work alone, I thought I established that!"
"Try pounding that through Doctor Light's thick head," she said simply.
"She's right, you know," Robin said, attempting to stand, but swaying a bit.
Red X groaned. "Shoulda known you'd side with your girlfriend."
"I'm not his girlfriend!" Raven shouted.
"She's not my girlfriend!" Robin shouted.
Red X shrugged. "Whatever. You two can think whatever you like. All I'm saying is that when you start exchanging saliva, you're official."
Robin clenched his fists. "I'd advise you to drop it!" he growled threateningly.
Shrugging, Red X walked over to his computers as if he was going to drop it, then turned back and said, "You two make such a cute couple, though!"
Raven growled and gave him a negative energy slap before retiring back to her bed. She looked back over at Robin. "We're not an official couple, are we?" she asked.
He shook his head vigorously. "Oh no. Of course not." Secretly, though, he was wondering the same thing.
"And that's all that she told me before I put the peices together, so to speak," Starfire said, finishing her lengthy explanation of the days' events.
Cyborg's eyes were wide. "You did what?"
"I believe I have already recounted the story," Starfire said, wearing a confused expression.
"But those idiots...and the lady...and then you...? You kicked their cans?" Cyborg couldn't exactly string a sentence together.
"Yes I did. There are many in this city who do not deserve our protection. Tell me, why do we continue to fight when our efforts are waisted on such a horrible group?" Starfire asked.
"Well, Star, it's our job. If we didn't do it, who would?" Cyborg replied, scratching his head.
"But the people do not show much gratitude at all! What is the point of saving them if they do not want to be saved?" she persisted.
"Well, it's our duty. If we don't do our best to save them, then it'll be our fault if they get taken over."
"That is a heavy burden," she sighed.
Cyborg wondered when she had thought about this and sat down beside her. "But it doesn't have to be so heavy if we share it together."
She looked up at him with hope in her eyes. "Truly?"
He nodded. "Now let's work on finding some information on Doctor Light. When did he break out anyway?"
"I do not know the answer to any of these questions, Cyborg. Why are you asking me?"
He shook his head. "I wasn't asking you, Star, I was just talking to myself."
"Why is it that so many of the people on this planet see fit to have conversations with themselves when they are perfectly aware that they cannot answer themselves?" Starfire asked.
"I-" Cyborg opened his mouth to answer, then closed it once more. "You know, I really don't know."
"Oh," she said simply. "Perhaps it would help to question the guards at the prison where Doctor Light was previously held?"
Cyborg nodded, wondering how Robin was able to keep up with all these questions. Maybe it would be a good thing if the two of them finally hooked up.