Letters to the Hogwarts Editor

By NemesisMuse

Rating K+

Author's note #1: It's re-posted and better then ever! OH YAY! I want to thank Sailor Earth for the letter from ToadBoy. Thanks to the people who reviewed. Also thanks to Deity who helped me find my insanity.

Author's note #2:I do not own Harry Potter or all the other stuff. Please don't sue!

Author's note #3: Please send in your own letters to with the subject as Letter to the Hogwarts Editor or something similar. Also please review! Enjoy!

Dear Editor,

I am being stalked by a psycho Slytherin! He will not leave me alone and he says that it was due to your advice. Why did you advise him to stalk me?

Being Stalked in Gryffindor

Dear Being Stalked,

I did not advise him to stalk you, but to show his true feelings. If you read the last issue you would have known. But if it bothers you so much, get a holding restraint on the person or tell him off, what ever makes you feel better.

Editor

Dear Editor,

I am a serious klutz. It seems I can't do anything right, all the teachers are absolutely horrible to me, especially a certain hook-nosed, sallow-skinned, greasy-haired potions master, and everyone makes fun of me, even people from my own house! The only one I can really talk to is my pet toad, but even he ignores me. How can I get everyone to stop picking on me?

ToadBoy

Dear TB,

My advice is to sock whoever is picking on you. Also learn hexes, spell and curses. Try going out to try-outs for Quidditch and being more active in school events. YOu never know what you can do unless you try.

Editor

Dear Editor,

My friend and I, who are composing this letter with me, are very intelligent but are afraid to show, are true I.Q. We enjoy Shakespeare, poetry, art and far more, we are pedagogues of the arts, but we have always been lackeys and wish to change are roles. What do you suggest to help us?

P.S. Hello Draco!

Malfoy's Lackey's

Dear Lackeys,

I pity you. Hear is your answer: work on speaking and people skills and do extra credit on homework. That should help some. Also try quoting famous people or a play

Editor

Dear Editor,

Hello, how are you? I hope you are well. The reason that I am writing is that I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE! HELP!

Professor Kettleburn

Dear Kettleburn family,

The staff and I send our deepest regret that the late Professor Kettleburn was eaten alive. We have chipped in for the flowers at the funeral. Are sympathies are with you.

Editor

Author's note #4: do you like or hate it? PLEASE REVIEW!