laughs evily Yes, I've been plotting this for some time now. mwahaha. This is the final chapter before the epilogue of Part I, which epilogue I am working on right now. Part II, Unlikely Turn, will be up soon thereafter. Thank you for reading thus far and I hope that you will continue with me into the sequel. I'm glad that my outburst at pairing wars was not offending to anyone. I tend to be neutral in wars, and then when it came up in one of my stories, I kinda lost it.

Discalimer: It hasn't changed.

Chapter 20

His mind was somewhat clearer once he woke up, but he still wasn't exactly in a good state of mind. He needed to find something else to do before he drove himself crazy. Find Red X, that's what he'd do. Surely X wasn't really gone!

He mounted the R-cycle a bit grudgingly, for the seat was still stained with his blood. His mind was an absolute blank, and he was glad for this quick reprieve from emotions as he concentrated solely on the road, not caring that everyone he passed stared at him with a mixture of fear and confusion. He didn't care anymore. And if one more thing happened to him, he feared he would never care again.

He came to a stop at the cavern Beast Boy had described. Hooking a grappling hook to the edge of the precipice, he lowered himself down slowly and carefully, not wanting to meet the same fate as Red X had if what the changeling said was true. Finally, his feet touched the bottom, and he left the rope where it was.

He didn't even know why he was down here. Why was he trying to raise his own hopes when he knew that there was no way Red X could have survived? Was it to prove, beyond a doubt, that he was really alone so that he couldn't hope anymore? Whatever the reason, he trudge through the damp cave until he came to a stop.

There was the black cape, exactly as Beast Boy had said. It had several scorch marks. Had he possessed the strength, he would have started running through the caves in a frantic attempt to find the former criminal, but yesterday's happenings had definitely weakened him, and he instead was forced to sit down beside the cape to catch his breath.

When he touched the cloth, he withdrew his hand quickly in pain. It was coated with xinothium. Any hope of X's survival dropped. If that guy could survive a full-fledged attack with xinothium... He continued on anyway, though he still did not see why.

Finally, after he had explored every inch of the cave, and his lungs were on fire again, all he emerged with was a singed belt. Nothing more. There were no marks on the walls of the caves to suggest that he had climbed out, and the belt's teleportation device was broken. There was no escaping the truth; nothing more remained of Red X.

He climbed grimly up the rope and back to his R-cycle. He was about to continue when his communicator beeped. He sighed. Maybe fighting a good villain would take his mind off of all of this...

Fang rushed out of the jewelry store and into the pink limo in which Kitten was waiting. He held several necklaces and bracelets with his many legs. Kitten squealed at this.

"Fang! They're gorgeous!" she smiled, planting a big kiss on his...mouth?

"I said it once, I'll say it again. You two make a really bad couple," Robin said, dropping down onto the hood of the car. His eyes were narrowed and his face told anyone within a five-mile radius that he was not to be messed with right now.

Unfortunately for Kitten, she wasn't very good at reading that expression. "Robbiepoo!" she screeched teasingly.

He gave a low growl, then took out a few freeze discs. One shattered the glass, and the other froze the girl to her seat. Fang shouted in anger, jumping out of the car to attack Robin. "Leave her alone!"

Robin grinned wryly, assuming a fighting stance and extending his hand. "I'm only going to warn you once: I'm not in a good mood." With that, the Boy Wonder attacked, his hoarse cry echoing in the alley.

Fang ducked the kick and parried with one of his legs, but Robin had anticipated the move. He kicked Fang's human body, and the half-spider thing flew across the street. He got up angrily, shaking the cobwebs out of his head and charging. Robin dodged skillfully, but he was slowing down because of his recent injuries. He threw a freeze disc at Fang, gluing his human legs down to the ground. At the same time, Fang fired the poison from his pinchers. Both were stuck, glaring at each other.

Fang broke free at last. He jumped into the limo and sped off, leaving a very annoyed Robin stuck in the alley.

Now Robin was stuck in the alley by himself, with only his thoughts to keep him company. Which was pretty bad, considering the way his thoughts were going at this point. His arms were extremely tired, and the poison wasn't exactly helping his breathing, but the emotional thoughts were the ones that were bringing him the most pain.

He recalled the last time that this had happened, and how Starfire had... Great, now he was thinking about Starfire, he realized as his heart pained him once more. But the memory was playing in his mind. He was falling, and Starfire had caught him, taking him back with her to the Tower and helping him to regain movement in his limbs. Then he remembered the date with Kitten, and winced inwardly. That was certainly one of the more unpleasant experiences to relive.

His thouughts drifted to the dance. The time of his life, he thought, remembering when he and Starfire had danced on that ship after being dubbed the King and Queen of the prom. What he wouldn't give to dance with her again! What he wouldn't give to hold her in his arms again! He caught himself, for he was starting to cry.

The poison was starting to wear off, but his emotions weren't quite done with him. Now he was reliving that night on the alien planet, back when he had almost confessed his feelings to Starfire. This was where he started to get angry at himself. If he had just done it back then, he wouldn't have been having the problem of whether or not he had feelings for Raven as well, and then he wouldn't have gotten himself into the mess he was in. Maybe then he could have saved Starfire!

He was so busy being mad at himself that he almost didn't notice that the poison had worn off. He fell forward, catching himself right before he hit the ground. Glad to be free, he hopped onto his R-cycle, trying to clear his mind of emotions as he rushed back to the Tower. He needed to talk to someone, he knew, but who?

He sighed, pausing in front of the door of the room. He shouldn't go inside, he knew, but he needed to talk before he went crazy, and he would be sure to leave if he had too. Gathering his thoughts, he forced himself to open the door and step inside.

He was really surprised at the scene before him. Raven's room was a mess! Bookshelves were knocked over, random objects littered the ground, and a small mirror crunched as he stepped on it. He pulled back, a bit surprised at the state of things. Raven had been really mad at him, hadn't she? He sighed. Maybe if he hadn't been around, Raven wouldn't be in this mess.

"Raven? I need to talk to someone, and I can't make myself go back to Starfire's room, so...well, here I am. If you can hear me, I understand if you kick me out, but if you can't, that's okay. I just need to talk about something," he started, feeling a bit ackward.

The machines hooked up to the empath beeped as if in response, and he looked up at her calm face. She was in such danger, and yet her expression remained impassive. He admired that about her.

"Alright, I guess I'm safe," he sighed, blowing out his breath and wondering where to start. "First of all, I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry for getting you into this mess. If I hadn't gotten your hopes up, maybe you wouldn't be in this condition. I'm sorry for tearing down your hopes after building them up. I should never have tried to talk to you about my feelings for you when I wasn't even sure myself. And I need to tell you: that kiss was really confusing to me. You're right, I can't tell you that I didn't enjoy it, but I also can't tell you that I don't love Starfire. You confused me, Raven!"

He sighed, gathering his thoughts. It wasn't good to dwell on one thing too long. "Listen, Cyborg's gone, and so is Red X. Beast Boy is in there with you, so you probably already know this, but what you don't know it that..." He trailed off. He knew he needed to tell someone, but how exactly he was going to say it was a mystery to him. "Well...Starfire...she..."

He exploded into tears. He couldn't hold them in, his emotions were too powerful. He was overcome, and he just sat there, crying, for several minutes before he was able to compose himself again. He was surprised at how easily his tears were coming now. He hadn't cried this much since his parents had died. "Well, Starfire...she's gone. Chang gave her an overdose of xinothium."

His eyes narrowed with hatred as he continued. "I had Chang right there! I could have destroyed him, but I didn't, because I was too worried about Star! And now Doctor Light and Chang are still out there, no doubt headed for the Titans East to tear them apart too. I know I need to stop them, but I can't! I'm too emotionally and physicall out of it to do much of anything anymore!" There, he'd admitted it; he was weak now, and he knew it.

She remained unmoving, though he thought he saw a flicker of movement in her eyes. He was right. Suddenly, she seemed to have lost her concentration, and she fell to the ground, though she remained in her trance-like state. She was now sitting on the ground, instead of hovering in the air. He was surprised at the sudden change in her behavior, and he rushed to the machines to check on her.

They were beeping like crazy, and the information he was getting was telling her that she was slipping. "NO!" he shouted, resisting the urge to punch through the screens in front of him. "I can't lose Beast Boy and Raven too!" he shouted at no one in particular.

Raven's eyes were still tightly closed, but she was wincing in pain, and her legs were tucked up beneath her chin as she groaned. He wanted to help her, but she was fighting herself and he could do nothing.

Even as he watched, the machine showed a flat line, which he stared at with disbelieving eyes. No, that's not possible! "Not Raven too!" he shouted, kicking the broken mirror across the room and finding small satisfaction at watching it break apart.

He stormed out of the room in a rage fit to beat Trigon. Angrily, he overturned the couch, screaming with agony as he doubled over to his knees, holding his head as he tried to make sense of the world. Why was everything happening to him? Was he not supposed to be happy? Was that it? He screamed, rolling over and holding his head.

Finally, after an hour of such activities, he tore off his mask and returned to his room. He opened his closet and stared at the uniforms, so clean and crisp. Rage filled his heart. He was mad, mad at being Robin and still not being able to stop any of this from happening. He tore the uniforms off of their hangers, wanting nothing more than to see them leave.

He couldn't be Robin anymore and remain sane, but he couldn't be Dick Grayson and allow himself to open his heart up to even more emotions! That was the solution: not to feel anymore! But how was he going to do that?

His eyes fell on the picture of himself and Starfire, then drifted along the wall of pictures. Himself and Cyborg...Raven's hand (the girl wouldn't pose for a picture, Starfire had complained)...himself and Starfire...Beast Boy and Terra... His heart sank as he remembered those days, back when everything had been perfect...

He needed to take a walk. He knew now what he was going to do.

He walked into the old, abandoned lair. So many memories lay, buried in this forbidding place. He remembered being led by Slade to this place, then having been forced to be his apprentice. Surprisingly, these memories didn't seem so sad to him anymore. They were nothing compared to the emotional torment he was enduring now.

He stepped on something. A broken birdarang. His eyes clouded over with tears as he remembered what had happened. The first time he'd ever felt one of Starfire's starbolts full blast. Not pleasant. He wished he could just start over from when they met.

But he couldn't change what had happened, he knew, and he continued to walk forward. He was hoping to find something here, but it didn't seem to be working. After hours of wandering around, he finally turned back to the exit. He had hoped...

He entered the Tower, still depressed and broken. He had hoped that he would find... But he hadn't, and for now he should heal himself if he was going to go through with his plan anyway. He entered his room, stepping over the discarded uniforms as he did so. He was a shell, completely empty.

He didn't ever reach the bed. He passed out. There was nothing left for him, he felt.