A.N.: I know it seems like I'm just repeating myself. And in a way I am but I reformatted the story to make it easier to read so this should be the last chapter like this.
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Black.
The sky. The car.
Her dress.
The glasses she wore, despite the hour.
And mostly, her mood.
Or was it? In all honesty she felt numb. Which was fine, there were to many mourners who deserved to cry right now.
His father stood forward along with his lover. Buffy. Mama Slayer. The one who caused all the amendments in the handbook that Dawn had given her three years ago. The one all the other slayers were to strive to be like. There was no written documentation to this outlook, only word of mouth. She did suppose a big part of that was her Watcher being Buffy's sister.
Dawn was on the opposite side of the grave, standing with Spike the vampire. She had not seen him since he and Connor had switched bodies and she and Drusilla. Gauss, Did she wish they were switched now.
Hmm, anger. She thought. At least that's something.
Not that she wanted Spike dead; it's just that she wanted Connor alive.
2
The clack of casket lift snapped her out of her thoughts. Slowly a lifeless shell in a wood box made it's way into the earth.
----------
Connor stood from his seat at the head of the table.
"Shut up!" he said, "I gotta make a toast. May you all DIE-"
Their small party groaned and booed at his statement.
"And…" He continued, "Be buried in a box made of one hundred year old oak of a tree I plant tomorrow."
----------
I never planted this tree. She thought.
As the coffin reached its destination the roses were thrown. First Angel, his son was gone. He had been in and out, and in and out AND in and out of the man's, vampire's life, unlife… oh hell.
Buffy dropped her rose. She loved Angel therefore she mourns the loss of his son and Dawn's friend. My friend. The two never really got to know one another. Pity, he always had this admiration of slayers. Or envy depending on what state of mind he was in.
There was a time when he was under a spell that pulled Steven forth. At the same time she had been given drugs to suppress her strength. Other slayers would secretly follow her to keep her safe, they were not there when she came home, neither was Connor. But Steven was. After the assault no one expected her to ever slay again, but it was she who took him down. Strength or no strength she was still a slayer.
Two more roses dropped. She looked into her hand. Her palm dripped the same color as the flower. Aren't they supposed to strip the thorns? She let the stem; covered in her blood, slip from her hand into the grave.
Dawn and Spike began to walk away.
"Do you have your key?" She asked quietly causing Dawn to turn.
"Yes." The lump in her throat was apparent.
"There is an air mattress to put on the Hide-a-bed. If you don't you have a poll up your back."
She turned to make her way out.
"Lenny, wait!" She turned see Buffy coming toward her.
"Sorry, I just expected you to call me M." Lenny said.
"I think of you more as Dawn's friend than a slayer." Buffy said. "Not, that you're not a good slayer, it's just Dawn's talks about you so much."
"Yea, you too." Lenny answered. "And everybody else."
"Look, um, I was going to tell you, you shouldn't go out and patrol, At least not alone. Bad stuff can happen when you're upset."
"Oh I'm not… I mean I'm not headed out looking for vamps to beat up just to relieve my frustrations. I killed the one responsible. Justus served, vengeance bad. I just can't face going home. Knowing his room is empty."
Lenny looked back at Angel looking down in the hole.
"You should go back to him." She angled her head to indicate him. "He needs you. I look forward to talking to you, like meeting Joan of Arc or something. But you know, no burning at the stake stuff."
"Yea, did you really use a tooth pick once?"
"I did." Lenny said. "Didn't you die?"
"Eh once or twice." Buffy seemed like she was trying to smile.
"Um make yourselves comfortable at the studio, there's food and blood, punching bags. Dawn knows where everything is."
"Thanks, I'll see you there."
Eleanore imagined Angel's hand was cold, when Buffy took it. He had been so quiet all day. What do you do? What do you say in this situation? Hey man sorry your kid's dead? Her thoughts hadn't drifted far two hours later.
Why was he dead? Buffy wasn't dead. They brought- Uh oh. No no no. Not those thoughts Again. Connor had always said he was DNR, as in Do Not Resurrect. Geez the life they lived. Most families it was "Pull the plug I don't want to be a vegetable." Or "I wanna live they might find a cure." Not them. "If I get sacrificed in some demonic ritual, bring me back. But not if I get hit by a bus."
His mother had been brought back from the dead. So had Angel. Connor had decided too much of his life had been prophesy, memory alteration, and magic blunder. No one would be bringing him back from the dead no matter how unfair the circumstances.
That, she had promised him.
Her building loomed over her. The lights on the third floor were still on. Apparently her houseguests couldn't sleep either. She unlocked the door that leads into the floor room of the studio. The mirror curtains had been left open, and she watched herself move across the room.
The mirrors, she had been so protective of those mirrors. They were expensive, and a bitch to install. If some hideous creature attacked in the studio, the fighting was to be AWAY from the mirrors. Besides, wasn't it seven years bad luck?
They had used those mirrors to travel to Vanity Fair. The hedonistic dimension that first brought them to this manner of existence.
Vampire Slaying, demon fighting, protecting the innocent, fighting the good fight, the mission, all of it.
The life that caused her brothers to move away, that took Sloan's life and made Julian become recluse, she had no idea where he was. And finally Connor.
Until now Eleanore Meyers had been the picture of tranquility. Level headed in the face of tragedy. She held Dawn while she sobbed, but not a tear fell from her eyes. The calls had been made: funeral arrangements, San Francisco neighbors notified.
Anyone walking by would think the headstone was rather excessive, but she didn't care. She spent six hours strait in her workroom over the limestone lithography slab.
Connor Angel Riley
Born in love Here
Raised in hate There
And in death
Has no more burdens to bare
But that is not what she was looking at. She was looking at her mirrors. The girl staring back mocked her. You are holding it together Soooo well. Everyone is so proud of you. Your best friend is DEAD and you… you are the bereavement committee.
She wasn't sure where the Zippo came from, maybe it had been in her pocket, but now it was heading into the mirror. A spider web formed with a "Snap" and a crack stretched the panel top to bottom.
It wasn't enough.
She stomped up to her fractured reflection and sent her fist into it. Again and again and again.
Cool pale hands wrapped around her wrists.
"Was wonderin' when you'd crack." Spike said in her ear. Despite her physical strength she was emotionally exhausted, so he had no trouble wrestling her to the floor. The backs of her hands looked like a butcher shop special and all she could think was I need to order a new four by eight wall mount mirror. "Nibblet's upstairs on her third."
"This is nothing new." Lenny said as she leaned back on his chest. "People die all the time. "
"Not people close to you."
"Yes people close to me. My dad, Connor's family, Sloan…" She swallowed. "I had to kill him. Why is this so different?"
"It's the way of the world." Spike began inspecting her hands. "You love, you loose, you go to lengths for the one you love even if you don't end up together-"
"Is this about Buffy?"
"It was once."
"I've realized something Spike." Lenny sat up and faced him. "No one gets to be happy ever after. Even if you get what you want you won't be happy."
He nodded. The two of them had shared a one-night stand last year. It was amazing the things you could do when you've lost the love of your life (or what you thought was the love of your life)
"I obsess. You told me that." His tone was serious not pitying. "I obsessed over Buffy but I eventually stopped, well my love lessoned. The most important thing is that I learned I could go on."
"I know I can go on." She said, "I just don't know what to do when I get there."
"Did you know four days ago?"
"Hair cut, buy stoneware clay, fight evil, and buy Connor's birthday present."
"Come on lets go up stairs and take care of those." He took up one of her bloodied hands.
Dawn's hands were shaking as she tried to pour coffee into the cup Lenny hand made for her. It had been over two years ago when the gangly thin girl walked into her life.
----------
"Hi!" She sprang up from the chair behind Lenny's desk. "I'm your watcher." Lenny looked over at Connor who smiled with a 'don't ask me' look. "You're Eleanore right? Code name M the Vampire Slayer?"
"Um, sorry you're going into what grade now?" Lenny slipped past the tall girl and began looking through the mess that was her desk.
"Oh I know." Dawn continued. "I have finished my training-"
"Len." Connor interrupted. "She just got in from Italy."
"Are you serious?" she looked at Dawn intently for the first time. "Sorry I was really expecting and old English, um Englishman. You look, like twelve."
"I was top in my class. Okay I was the first to graduate from the new Watcher academy."
"Leave that part off the resume." Lenny said. "Even a nose picker puts 'Internal Investigations." She smiled, Dawn smiled back.
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The mug was the first Birthday present Lenny gave Dawn. In two days in would be Connor's birthday.
"What happened?" a voice asked. The slayer looked over to see a red headed woman coming toward her.
"Willow right?" Lenny asked. "I met you in Tennessee, when the Hellmouth overflowed."
"That's right." The witch looked surprised.
"When did you get here?"
"Around midnight. If you don't have any room-"
"Oh Guass no stay I own a freaking building."
"What happened?" Dawn, her face still red from tears, took up Lenny's hands.
"Got into a fight with her reflection." Spike went to the fridge. "Helps not having one in times like these."
"You broke a mirror?" The young watcher actually stepped back from her charge.
"It's not really bad luck." Willow tried to reassure her.
"It is in this building." Dawn grabbed Lenny's arm and pulled her into the bathroom.
"Gotta be honest here." The tall girl said as she dug through the medicine chest, "I'm a little relieved." Lenny sat still, her newly cleaned wounded hands resting on her knees. "After Mom died Buffy went all anesthetic like that. It worries me when people grieve on the inside. "
"I flipped out when Dad died."
"We were made to depend on each other."
"Who?"
"Humans."
The scene was that of any typical funeral reception. The group sat at different points about the room faces glum. Everyone seemed tired but no one wanted to go to bed.
Lenny wondered at the reasons, hers was, she didn't want to close her eyes for fear of memories, both pleasant and painful, all of her tall skinny Irish friend.
5 years ago
Daddy wanted her to go to college. But, he also wanted her to be happy and she knew that after one semester she would only be miserable. So the money her father had left went into a three story Elizabethan (uh the current Elizabeth), on the main street of a little town just outside of Las Vegas Nevada.
19 year old Eleanore Myers stared up at the present reason her eldest brother was not speaking to her. Too thrilled with her new undertaking, her brother's irritation was at the back of her mind. Besides once her business got off the ground he would see.
Unfortunately, until that happened, there were bills to be paid. She taped a cardboard sign reading "Roommate wanted" to the door of her building. Next she climbed a rickety latter, carrying another sign, this one plywood she had painted her self.
Myers' Studio Rental. She felt giddy as she lifted it onto the concrete screws. Catching her finger between the brick and the board, she wibbled trying to free her self only to dropped the sign. She cringed waiting for the crash. Upon opening her eyes she found a boy looking up at her.
"You should have some help." He said.
"I'm pretty strong." Eleanore replied. "Just not so coordinated at the moment."
"I'll hold the latter." He put a shoe on the bottom rung and passed her the sign. "When do you open?"
"A.S.A.P. My old Sensei is my only renter so far." After successfully mounting the board she looked down at him. "You don't teach dance or Karate and need studio space do you?"
"No, but I might be interested in this other sign." He thrust a hand up." Connor Riley."
"Eleanore Myers." She was hesitant in shaking his hand.
"Is something wrong?" He asked. But then she gave him a sneaky, knowing smile.
"No, nothing, I just have this very old fashion brother." She climbed down from the latter. "Let me show you the place."
"Connor!" It was a female voice calling, A red haired woman came down the street. "There's an apartment complex-"
"Mom, this is Eleanore, and look." He indicated the sign for a roommate.
"Oh no." Eleanore said. "I wasn't prepared to impress a parent."
"I'm Colleen. Do you know the owner of this building?"
"That'd be me?" The young entrepreneur smiled with pride. "Come on in."
They waited a moment for Connor's father to join them. With determination Eleanore lead the Riley family into the floor room.
"So what brings you to tiny town America?" She asked.
"I'm transferring to the local college from Stanford." Connor answered.
"Good lord why?" She actually spun around to face them. "I'm sorry that was really rude, but, good lord why?"
There was an uncomfortable silence, Eleanore figured the young man's parents had probably asked him the same question.
"Needed out of California. Um, what are these?" He walked over to the long flat crates leaned against the wall.
"Mirrors can not have a studio, well a successful studio without mirrors. I'm going to install them tomorrow."
"Mirrors can be handy." Connor seemed speak to himself.
"Ms. Myers how did you buy this building?" Lawrence asked.
"I emptied my inheritance that was meant to be my college fund."
"And from here on out-" Connor said as he passed her on his way to the stairs at the back. "There will be no ridicule as to my choice to leave Stanford."
Sarcasm. Eleanore smiled, she was excited to piss off her brother by telling him she would be living with a boy, and happy with the thought that he wouldn't be boring.
"So do they call you Ellie?" Connor asked.
"No." She said. "And not Nelly either. I cannot think on one nickname I will ever abide."
----------Present----------
"Lenny" Dawn's voice brought her back to reality. "You thinking about that time you killed a vamp with a toothpick?"
"No." She said with out looking. "But didn't that freaking rock? No, I was thinking about stupid decisions."
"Angel killed a Werewolf with a pen you know?"
Yes. Angel killed a Werewolf with a pen, Buffy killed a vamp with an exacto knife. If they had been there they could have protected Connor. If Angel had not sent him away to live with the Rileys, he'd still be alive-
If if if if if
Hmm.
Why not?
It is not resurrection. But can it be done?
Ten million thoughts ran through Eleanore's mind in seconds. She looked around at the people who touched her life, directly or indirectly. So many people could get hurt. But she could make it happen, she could set things right.
"Dawn." She said causing her young Watcher to set up from her sister's lap. "I'm going away I'll be back in to days."
"Sure, I'll take care of the studio." Dawn answered. She understands the need to get away.
"I need you to do something else for me." Eleanore took a breath. "Start the paper work to eliminate me as an active slayer."
All eyes in the room turned to her.
"Lenny." Dawn said. "Think about this. Give yourself a while to grieve-"
"I'm impulsive! It's when I make my best decisions. I have to get out."
"M." Buffy stepped passed her sister, close to Lenny. "You know what this means?"
"The Counsel will put me on the suppressing drugs indefinitely."
"You know what that is like." Buffy continued. "Can you be that vulnerable? After what happened?" This last part was said in a whisper.
"How did you know about that?" Lenny looked at Dawn.
"I didn't tell her to hurt you."
"You know what Mama?" Lenny stormed passed them. She stopped and looked at Spike and then back at Buffy. "You may have written the book on comparable situations."
She made her way too her door preparing to go down stairs.
"Slayer M!" Buffy called. Lenny turned back. "I'll take responsibility for your town during your two week adjustment period."
"Thank you Mama Slayer."
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Eleanore pushed the thick foliage aside. The humidity was a new concept to the Nevada native and sweat dripped from her forehead stinging her eyes.
"Jungles suck." She said.
But several spears pressed to her throat interrupted her vocal complaints. They were dark skinned and scantily clad. What does one do when faced with precarious Pygmies? Well, they probably were not Pygmies given that they were all taller than Eleanore.
"Absit invidia." She spoke. But the indigenous warriors did not ease up. "Ex uno disce omnes."
The sharp points eased away, and they lead her to the stone temple. It was amazing to think a primitive tribe like this one communicated with Latin. She left the native men at the bottom of the steps and entered the dark room.
"Ab aeterno." She said into the darkness.
"Saepe ne untile quidem," a silky voice came out of the darkness. "Est scire quid futurmist."
"Esto vive esto mors." Eleanore responded.
"What do you want?"
"Information." The slayer moved farther into the chamber. "I need to know-"
A blue face peered around the corner of a stone throne. Ilyria tilted her head.
"What?" It asked.
"Everything," Eleanore said. "About Winifred Burkle."
3
Blue.
Ugh that chick was creepy.
But, our hero had the information that she was after. And now that she had it, Eleanore's outlook had gone from the blackest of moods to a blue sadness with a shimmer of hope beneath. As she leaned back against her seat in the noisy little plane, her plan continued to mature. There were just a few things she needed to take care of.
Willow had left yesterday. It was nice having her there. Not only to spend time with her but she was very diplomatic when answering the phone. She had managed to calm several renters, persuade San Franciscans not to send flowers, and trick the electric company into thinking it was their fault they had not received a payment from the studio.
Dawn looked down at the screen of her laptop.
Watcher Summers,
The request from Slayer M is being processed. A superior will arrive in Nevada with in the next two days. Please express our gratitude toward Mama Slayer for her assistance in this case. We will expect you here in five days for slayer reassignment.
Councilman Connoly
This was it, in two days this part of her life would be over. But, she had to look on the bright side; she wasn't being reassigned because her slayer had died. Only because their friend had died.
Buffy and Spike were out patrolling and Angel was upstairs brooding. For the first time in three years Dawn felt useless and alone.
The door to the studio jingled. Oh no Dawn thought I don't want to deal with some ballet teacher. But as she leaned back to get see who had come in the surprise sent her back onto the floor.
"AH!"
"I told you." Lenny said as she reached down for Dawn's hand to help her up. "You should turn the desk around."
"You're back!" The Watcher threw her arms around the Slayer.
"I was only gone like forty hours." Lenny said.
"I know but we don't have much time together. They'll be here with the drugs in two days and I have to be reassigned."
"That soon?" Lenny asked.
"Yeah, did you change your mind?" Dawn sounded so excited.
"No."
"I need to go to the market and the butcher shop."
Buffy and Spike entered as Dawn was leaving.
"Seen him?" Buffy asked.
"He watched C.S.I. at 8:00. But went back to brood mode." With that Dawn left.
"I'll go make him socialize."
Once they were alone Lenny beckoned spike to her. She had taken on a secretive attitude, trying to remain playful.
"I need a favor." Seemingly from out of no where Lenny produced-
"A syringe?" Spike asked.
"I want some of your blood."
The young slayer could have been asking to borrow a cup of sugar with the attitude in which she spoke. A moment a silence passed before our vampire friend could even fathom a response.
"Might one ask, why?"
She pulled him into her office and shut the door. Sitting on the edge of her desk, she began her plea.
"I have two days before some stuffy British businessman is going to shoot me up with restraining drugs. Should and emergency occur, a quick shot of vampire blood puts me back on the beefy-robust-while-looking-hot-list. I figure blood from a vampire with a soul is not only chuck full of vitamin O positive BUT much easier to obtain."
Once again she brandish the needle with a smile. Spike eyed her for a moment. With a smirk of his own he moved in and stood over her in close intimate quarters.
"Well love," He put his hands on either side of her on the desk, so he was eye level with her. "Quid pro quo."
To his absolute shock, she pulled her light hair away from her right shoulder. He had been kidding, but…. The look in her eyes.
"In three years of slaying-" Her voice was quiet and serious. "all I have to show is two red pockmarks from having a railroad spike through my shoulder, and where I had my appendix taken out."
She could feel his mouth near her neck. The coolness he projected, or did he pull away her heat? It was something she had wondered the last time they had been… affectionate.
"Before I leave this world-" She heard his bone structure shift into game face. "I want something." Chilled lips caressed her pulse. "A reminder of what I am." Feeling the piercing tips of his teeth she closed her eyes gripping the front of his black T-shirt. "I need a souvenir of-"
His fangs sunk into her skin, and they reclined. Although the hard surface of the desk was at her back she felt she was still falling, so she held him tighter.
"-Home."
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Tucking the vile containing Spike's blood into her gear bag, she made final preparations.
"All packed?" Dawn asked.
"I think so."
"Where are you going exactly?"
"Not exactly-"
The door jingled. With a squeak of excitement, Dawn ran past Lenny and into the arms of the person who entered the floor room. He was an older gentleman warm but distant.
"I can't believe it's you." Dawn cried.
"When else would I get t see the two of you?" He said.
"The next apocalypse."
"This must be Eleanore." He moved to shake her hand. "Rupert Giles."
"I've seen you." Lenny said. "We never met but, in Cleveland I met Willow and Slayer Alpha-"
"Yes." He nodded. "Faith was quite-"
"I'm sorry who?"
"Faith- Slayer Alpha."
"You're kidding, Alpha's name is Faith?" Lenny was aghast. "It's like naming a turtle Fluffy."
"You have met her."
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She closed the little wood box of Earl, or Lady Grey, which ever it was. Of course she felt serving tea to an Englishman was like making a can of Chef Boyardee to an Italian.
GAH what a stupid train of thought. Dawn is in the living room laughing and visiting and, and, and. Am I stuttering in my inner monologue? That's it!
"Dawn!" she yelled as she entered the room. Giles and Dawn looked to her for explanation. "I have to do this now."