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Chapter 3 – Memories and Meetings

The weirdest thing was I felt so guilty walking home. Even after the way Dan had treated me, I felt disloyal. Why? Because I can't deny the attraction. There's a part of me (that part of the old me) which is rather pleased I still have the ability to feel attracted, and refuses to feel guilty for it. After all, Dan is almost certainly cheating on me, and it's not as though either of us love the other – he loves being in control, having me around torment, and I hate him.

But the rest of me feels guilty, for it, and because I've just poured out all my problems to a stranger, dragging him into my shame. And, yes, I'm ashamed that someone else now knows what I let happen to myself.

This can't be helping Patty, I'm sure she'd rather it just be me and her. Rather be at the manor, with my sisters. With a happy mother.

And yet I'm staying.

"Where have you been?" Dan says, narrowing his eyes as I walk in.

"My sisters'. I told you this morning."

"No you didn't."

"I did. Why are you even home?"

Oops. Not only did I tell him he was wrong, I asked a question. I brace myself.

"You didn't tell me." He said slowly, stepping forward. "And it's none of your business why I'm home."

"I'm sorry." I say desperately, but it does nothing. He steps forward and grabs my hair.

"How dare you talk to me like that."

"I'm -"

"Liar!" He bellows, throwing me across the room. I hit my head on the wall and things go fuzzy.

"Dan, please -"

He kicked me in the stomach, a feeling I'm used to, but it still knocks the breath out of me.

Patty starts screaming, and with on last kick, he steps aside.

I know the drill. Get the baby, get out of his sight.

I ran from out flat, crying. Bursting out into the street, I can barely see for the tears, which is probably why I didn't see him until I bumped into him and almost fell over.

He caught me quickly, before I could hit the floor.

"Piper?"

"Leo." I said softly.

"Are you OK? Come on, let's get out of here." He said, pulling me towards his car. There's a moment of fear, because if Dan sees, if he knows, he'll kill me. He won't stand for me getting into a car with another man.

And then the fear goes, because I need to get out of here. Away from here. And God, God I never want to come back. So I got in the car, clutching Patty. I don't think it's strictly legal for her to be in the front seat, on my knee, but I can't let go of her right now.

We drove in silence – I didn't talk and he didn't make me.

He took me to his place, a tiny apartment that was one room, really, with a kitchen area, living area and a bed in one corner. The door to the bathroom is open; that's tiny, too. But the place is clean, and it's nice, really, and if I could I'd stay here forever, hiding.

That old me, that part that's still there? She's disgusted by the hiding, by the fear.

Leo sat me on the sofa, gave me coffee. And then sat opposite me and just looked. We sat in silence for several minutes before he asked what was wrong.

"He'd been drinking." I said simply. "Forgot I'd told him I was going to my sisters'." It sounds so pathetic. I was attacked for something so simple.

"And then what?" He prompted.

"I said I had told him, asked why he was home. I shouldn't have asked questions. I shouldn't have told him he was wrong." I stated. Flatly. My voice is flat. This is what I am, now, this is my life.

"It is not your fault, Piper." He said. "He's the only one to blame for this."

I nodded. Why does he have that way of getting me to tell him everything? I shouldn't be pouring my heart out to a stranger, to anyone.

"I should've left, the first time. I shouldn't have ever let this happen to me."

"You don't have to go back there." He said softly. "You have the strength Piper. I know it must be hard to try to break away from him, but you can." How would he know? He's never been in my situation, never lived my life. He can't possibly have any idea.

I shook my head.

"I have to go." I said, hastily.

"Why?" He asked, softly. It's strange, but I know, somehow, that if I said I'd stay, right here in this tiny one-room apartment, he'd let me. He'd help me. That almost scares me more, really.

Is that another reason I stay? Because I don't know how to live another way, I don't know how to handle being free? How twisted is that?

"Goodbye, Leo." I said quietly, then left.

I walked around the block for a while. I half-hoped Leo would come after me, force me to stay with him. That disgusts me more – that I want the choice taken, because that way I can't blame myself if it all goes wrong.

But he didn't. I was totally alone.

I walked back into the flat, quietly.

Judging by the amount of alcohol on his breath earlier, Dan should have passed out by now.

The flat was in darkness, so I assumed he was asleep on the sofa. Relived, I crept across the room, holding Patty and hoping she'd be quiet.

But I was half-way to Patty's room when three words rang out, sending my blood cold.

"Who was he?"