Jokes I invented about KH2...I love the order so much "sniffs"
I'm trying to keep it clean, but watch the randomness! Situation comedy and silly antics ensue...
(oh yes, it's in rpg style so it's easier to read and it sounds funnier that way...most people don't like it, but I thought it fitted best)
Disclaimer: Yeah...I don't own KH2 so I can't make money out of this XD
the first short one:
Xaldin in the morning:"grrrrumble" Why do I have to to the chores every autumn...
Axel: "watches the garden" Aww, come ON Dilan, show us your trick again...
Xaldin:"sighs" Okaaay
"blows away all the fallen leaves, and sends a spear after Larxene
when she starts pouncing at them"
Why, god, why...
Larxene: (from far away) Missed meee! "weeee, darts after the leaves"
In the morning when people are usually in dire need for coffee:
Axel, early in the morning: "rummaging through the kitchen"
Larxene: "comes in, stretches and yawns, then watches Axel"
Whassup? Can't find your brain?
Axel:"snarls" aww shut up. It's too early to be sadistic. I can't find the toaster...
Vexen: "comes in" The toaster? I saw Luxord take it away last night, he said he hab some gambling debts...
Axel:Not again...
Zexion:"steps out of the shadows" Yeah...
Larxene:"jumps and whacks Zexion" Don't DO that everytime!
Marluxia:"comes in, ignores everyone, mumbles some stuff about make up, then turns around and leaves again"
Larxene: Don't tell me Luxord took Marl's ...
Zexion: He did...
Larxene:"sighs" Well, Ax, wadddaya need the toaster for anyway?
Everyone but Axel:"stares and then starts laughing"
Axel: What?
Everyone but Ax: "looking amusedly at his hands, where he's holding his chakrams"
Larxene:"singsong" You're-our-matchstick-man aren't ya?
Axel:"looks confused for a while, everyone's snickering" then, a flash of insight
"blushes"
...imagine the rest yourself...
and now a longer one:
Xaldin's birthday
Demyx: Let's rock it for the windy dude guys! One big hooray!"jams it"
Everyone but Luxord, who's already drunk this early:"hooray..."
Axel: Dem', where IS Xaldin?
Demyx:"turns around and sees Xaldin trying to quietly escape"
Zexion:"melts into the shadow and appears before Xaldin" Aw come on, it's not like Larxene's gonna zap you like she did last year...
Larxene:"grins at the memory"
Zexion:...won't she "looks at Larxene"
Larxene: Awww, but he looked so much like he wanted to get zapped, I mean, with his iron poles 'n all...
Zexion:"glares"
(fangirls from over the whole world sigh)
Larxene:"is not impressed at all"
Demyx: "has been ignored for too long" oooo-kay, let's get the cake, and then the presents, riiight? "jams some more"
Xaldin:"has a horrified look on his face when cake is mentioned"
Saix:"brings in an enormous cake on the broad end of his sword"
Luxord:"is drunk, but ducks when Saix 'accidentally' swipes the sword at him"
"they all sit down at the table, with a lot of show Marluxia cuts the cake to pieces with his scythe"
Axel:"hands the plates to everyone"
Demyx: Dig in, friends! "out of habit drums in the air, because he had to put his sitar away"
Xaldin:"looks at the piece before him"
Everyone:"looks expectantly"
Xaldin: "moves his fork to the cake, but 'a sudden gust of wind' blows it away so that he misses"
Everybody:"giggles"
Xaldin: "thinking" Why EVERY year...damn wind powers..."closes eyes, and then suddenly rams one of his spears into the cake, nailing it down"
Everyone:"jaw drops"
Larxene: You didn't do that last year...
Xaldin: Well, I WAS electrocuted by someone..."pokes with his fork at the cake, then starts to eat as if nothing happened"
Everyone:"after a long while, start to eat too"
Demyx: "drinks his glass of milk, because he's gonna be a BIG BOY when he grows up" And now, let's get the presents! "barely restrains himself from air-sitaring"
Axel:"silently leaves the oom, and steals one of Xaldin's spears"
Larxene:"rummages in her pockets and hands him a bottle of water and a 20 Volts battery" "giggles at Xaldin's look"
Luxord:"stumbles up to Xaldins, falls into his lap and flashes him a lottery ticket"
Marluxia:"shoves Luxord away, then hands Xaldin some flowers"
Everyone: "stares"
Marluxia:"isn't aware of anything"
Xaldin:"blushes"
Xigbar: "snickering, gives Xaldin a biiig bear hug" Happy birthday bro' "bounces off like a silly little girl"
Zexion:"approaches"
Xaldin:If you dare kiss me you're dead...
Zexion: Dude, here "hands him a starters deck of 'Magic: The gathering; Wind edition"
Might as well start thinking strategically...
Vexen: "gives him a bottle of conditioner, for extremely wind-damaged hair" ...own recepy...
Demyx:"bounces over, hands Xaldin a cd with Rammstein hits"
Number one (i'm not gonna spoil): "gives him a purple-silver coloured name-tag that sports the logo of their organisation, his name and title in golden letters"
Xaldin:"stuffs the thing in his pocket, where the other fifty from various occasions are stuffed"
Number thirteen:"decides to leave the order before it is too late"
Axel:"comes in again, holding something behind his back"
"stands before Xaldin, shows him his present, grinning"
Xaldin:"is speechless, takes up the thing and smacks Axel with it"
The two of them race out, Axel laughing and Xaldin roaring, trying to whack Axel to a pulp.
Larxene: Why didn't I think of that...
Saix:... bending one of his spears into a chakram and tieing it up with a pink ribbon...
That day in the marble shower halls of Castle Oblivion... (oh yeah…they're all wearing their basic swimming suits, so don't get hyped up, ya)
Demyx: "running around like on drugs, spraying everyone with water" Weeeee!
Xaldin:"sweatdrops" Why oh why hasn't he slipped yet...
Meanwhile in the far corner:
Luxord to Xigbar: ...heh, wanna bet I can catch that bar of soap before you do?
"points to the other end of the shower hall"
Xigbar:"grins evilly"oh yeah, why not...five bucks for the winner?
Luxord: yep, on the count of three...one...twoo...three!
"they dash for the bar of soap"
Xigbar:"slips, falls on his face" "grabs Luxord's ankles"
Luxord: "keels over"
Xigbar:"jumps over Luxord"
Luxord:"jumps up, grabs Xigbar's hair"
Xigbar: HEY! "slaps Luxord like a sissy girl"
Luxord: Grrrrrrr
"they dash for it again"
meanwhile
Marluxia: "bends down to pick up THE bar of soap"
Luxord and Xigbar: "come crashing down, hands stretched out, they barely miss the bar of soap and slide past it"
Marluxia:...whatever "shrugs and starts to soap himself in"
Luxord and Xigbar:"slam against a shadow on the wall"
Zexion: ow WTF! "tumbles out of his shadow"
Everybody exept for Marluxia: "stares" Omg Zexion...
Axel: "sniggers because Zex's skin is all pale"
Zexion: "blushes" you're mean Axel..."pouts"
All: "look at Axel" "start snickering"
Axel: ...What?
"notices his hair is down because he's under the shower, he looks like a redhead hippie"
Aw damn it "steps out from under the jet" "shakes his head like a dog"
Axel's hair: "flops up into spike-mode again"
Axel: I'm outta here...checkin' up on Larxene "grins and leaves"
Everyone including a shadow: Oo how come we haven't done that yet "dash past Axel, round the corner to the women's shower"
Eeeep!
"they all lie on the ground"
Xemnas: "rubs his head" What the hell...
Everyone: "blushes"
Xemnas: "stares at their stares"...anyway, I came to get you...there's this kid in here, an' it'd be nice if you could rid me of it...
Everyone: "go get dressed to 'welcome' Roxas"
Xemnas: heeheee "takes a seasalt popsicle and lies back to enjoy the show"
aaand, another one!
That one evening, when Demyx set up a quiz...
Demyx:"ramming on his sitar" Aaaanbd, your quizmaster for todaaaaay is...meee!
All the rest:"sigh"
Marluxia:"the newb" What's WRONG with him?
Xaldin:"massages his temples" He does this every friday evening...
Larxene:"giggles at Demyx' antics while sharpening her kunais against each other"
Demyx: "stops rockin'" Aaand, are the teams ready to go!
Axel:"looks at Xigbar" Why do I have to be in HIS team...
Xigbar:"is all excited"
Demyx: Aaaand, the first question is foooor "plays a few notes" the Magic Bullet Shooter!
Xigbar: I know, I know!...that's me, right! "is excited like a little girl"
Saix:"rolls his eyes" It's gotten pretty bad since Demyx convinced him this game is for smart people...
Demyx: Aand, the question iiiis "jams a few again" "Axel gets up and leaves the room" how many are we now since number thirteen left?
Xigbar:Owww, that's easy...we are now..."counts on fingers" doh! "counts the people in the room, but forgets Axel's not there" Ten!
Demyx: And that answer iiiis "jammin'" wroooong! Too bad!
Axel:"enters the room again with a glass of bloody mary"
Xigbar:NOOOOO!"has a nervous breakdown" I'm not smart! "sobs"
Vexen and Xaldin:"pat Xigbar on the back and try to calm him"
Vexen: "yells at Axel" Look what you've done now!
Axel:"looks at his coat" Did I spill my drink?
Xigbar: "wails"
Demyx:"jams some more while Larxenen tries to get him to shut up"
Weehaw!
Now whaddaya think...should I try to come up with more? (maybe I'll add some later, but I first gotta know whether you like these or not)