I think I had some stuff to say, but I forgot it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. And if by some freaky coincedence, "Da Bomb" is actually a real rapper's title, I don't own them, either. (And I wouldn't want to.)

Neji's Dream

Our favourite white-eyed sexy beast (wow, I say that a lot) was sleeping peacefully one night, having the most wonderful dream that involved (many readers: Tenten! Me: no, no, no… several readers: Hinata! Me: AAUUUGH! Incest! Other readers: power! Me: wrong-o… … turnips! Readers: …O.o…) Yes, turnips, when into his dream crept a big… uh, nightmare. (Readers: how lame… Me: SHUT UP!) Anyways, I'll just show you how it went, from the beginning.

Neji's POV: He skipped happily through a huge field of beautiful, white turnips. The fresh turnipy smell wafted through the air and made his heart feel at peace. The turnips smiled up at him, and told him their names, and he felt he would burst with joy.

When suddenly… the sky darkened. Looking up confirmed that masses of black thunderheads had invaded the area, sneaking up from the horizon. The turnips trembled, but Neji bravely told them he would defend them until the last breath had been wrung from his body. "What evil power doth invade this area?" he called at the wicked clouds, happy that he had finally been able to use the word "doth", something he had been dying to do since he read "Hamlet".

"That'd be me, dawg," called a sinister voice from somewhere in the clouds. Aghast at the mindless terror struck into him by the horrible words, Neji's knees knocked (A/N: that was some alliteration) together as he watched, with a sense of imminent doom, one of the thunderheads detach itself from the rest of them. It was small, but it flickered with the lightning contained within. Several of the turnips started to cry. Suddenly, with a dazzling flash of lightning and a peal of thunder, a dude in a big, blue, shiny silk rapper outfit, decked out in bling-blings, was shot down from the inside of the thunderhead. He was laughing evilly, like Orochimaru. "Ku kuku ku ku ku!" Though it sounded remarkably like a chicken, it was nevertheless a sinister and terrifying laugh.

"Wh-what do you want?" Neji demanded, his bravery awing his turnip friends.

The rapper guy re-adjusted the bandana on his head and started to bop: "Yo, yo, yo, Ah'm da new evil ruler, and dere aint no one cooler, ah'm so smooth it aint funny, an' ah got lotsa money; ya can call me Da Bomb (though mah real name's Tom)…"

"I didn't ask who you were!" Neji yelled. "I asked what you were doing here!" The turnips gasped at how he was unfazed by Da Bomb's malevolent presence.

"Peace, dude, ah'm gettin' there. Well ah'm already rich, but ah always want more, so today I became, a cheap male –"

"STOP!" yelled Neji. "Skip that part, skip it!"

"Like, dude, chill. Relax. It's all cool. Fine then, if ya don't wanna hear mah raps, I'll just cut ta da quick, like, aiight? Ah'm here ta spread wickedness and cruelty, which is why ah came here when ah saw how much fun ya were havin' wit da turnips." He paused to evilly examine a large diamond ring on a finger. "Ah'm gonna have ta take ya away from dem turnips."

"But… but why?" asked Neji, appalled, as the turnips gasped and cried.

"Cuz ya havin' fun, dawg," explained Da Bomb, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "An' evil rulers always wanna prevent da peeps from havin' fun, ya know?"

"But…" Neji felt tears burn in his eyes. It wasn't fair. "But the turnips… they're my best friends. They accept me… for who I am! They don't make fun of me because I don't have pupils." His chin quivered, and tears started to stream down his cheeks as he continued. "When I'm with them, I don't even remember the tattoo of hate on my forehead. When I'm with them… I'm home!"

The turnips bawled with him.

"Yea, but, Ghetto ta ghetto, back yard-da-yard."

"Huh?"

Da Bomb shrugged. "Just somethin' a rapper should say, ya know?" Without further ado, he muttered some evil magic words to one of his bling-blings, and out sprang… a giant alarm clock. It rang.

"Noooooo!" screamed Neji as he woke up in his bed. He could still hear Da Bomb's maniacal laughter in his ears (as opposed to hearing it in his eyes or nose).

Hahaha... how lame is it when you laugh at your own fanfic? V. lame, that's how. Hmm... maybeI'll start writing my own reviews. JOKING. Anyways, I just had to write a chapter that involved a stereotypical rapper. Anyways... please review! It'll make Neji less distraught.