She Doesn't Need a Hero

He had kissed her. He was kissing her. Literally only seconds had passed, but she felt like the world around her had come to a complete stop and all that mattered were she and Lucas and this one moment. She tried to pull herself away from him—she felt as if she would drown in his touch if she didn't. Putting her hands on his chest she pushed back gently and broke the kiss. Her lips stung. The intense heat that had passed between them left her dizzy as she closed her eyes, catching her breath. What am I doing she asked herself again and then—

"What are we doing?" he asked her softly.

"Something we shouldn't be." Lucas watched as the spark in her eyes slowly dimmed and became guarded.

"I don't under-"

"You can't just fix everything with a kiss!" she said, wishing so badly that he could. He looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry, Peyton. I just really missed you and…I guess I wasn't thinking."

"I'm sorry, I mean—we just can't do this." Peyton replied. She looked down as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"But why, Peyton? You have to give me a reason." Lucas grabbed her hands, but she quickly pulled herself from his grasp. She wiped her face angrily before speaking.

"You have to give me time to process all of this, Lucas. You can't sleep with a stranger after what we had together and then leave town without telling me and expect me to welcome you with open arms when you come back! That's the worst thing we could do for each other. Don't you get that! It doesn't give me time to heal! I don't want to spend our time together resenting you for the things you did to me. I can't do it. I won't do it."

She turned to leave and then looked back at him.

"When I go, please don't come after me. I don't need a hero, Lucas." She studied his face for a moment and then walked away.

I don't need a hero, Lucas.

He was lying on his bed, listening to music and despite its deafening volume; her words were even louder in his mind.

What did she mean? Why is everything all wrong? Lucas just didn't understand. It seemed that whenever he tried to fix something it ended up more broken then it had been to begin with. The last thing he wanted to do was break Peyton. He sighed, propping himself up on his elbow to glance over at his clock. It was 10:00. A half an hour seemed like forever when he was with her. He fell back on the bed, closed his eyes and pulled a pillow across his face.

I missed you...and I guess I wasn't thinking.

"No, really, Lucas?" she muttered to herself as she walked around the dimly lit streets of Tree Hill.

Peyton couldn't bring herself to go back to her empty house. Strangely even empty sidewalks seemed like a better alternative. Lost in her thoughts, she found herself walking by Jake's. She smiled faintly and wondered what life would be like if he hadn't left. She was almost past when she heard a front door open and footsteps on the porch. She looked up and there he was, holding a trash bag of all things.

"Jake?" she asked more than said.

"Peyton?" he asked more than said as well. "What are you doing here?"

She laughed. "Are you kidding me! What am I doing here? You're the one who's supposed to be hundreds of miles away. Come here!"

She ran up the steps and pulled him into a hug. What a night, she thought as she remembered Lucas' lips warm against hers and felt Jake's arms tight around her waist.

Jake pulled back and looked at her for a moment. She looked at him. Then they giggled nervously, "So what are you doing, really?" he asked.

"Oh. You know…just walking around. You want to come?"

"Uh, yeah, that'd be great. Let me go make sure my parents have Jenny." He ran inside and reappeared a few minutes later, "All right, let's go."

So they walked wherever their feet took them. She learned that he and Nikki had agreed that she could visit Jenny, but would never have any sort of custody of her daughter. When Jenny was old enough she could decide how much she wanted her mother in her life. Peyton listened intently, as they moved along, her hands in her coat pockets.

"Wow, Jake, I'm so glad that it worked out. It's nice to have you back." She smiled up at him. She looked away and then sighed as she realized where they were.

"The rivercourt again….I've seen too much of you tonight, my friend." She laughed, but Jake saw the hurt behind her eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" Peyton looked at him, surprised that he knew something was wrong, but she shook her head.

"All right, well, I'm here now if you change your mind." He squeezed her hand, but quickly dropped it again when he heard the sound of a basketball hitting the pavement.

They both turned their heads. Lucas didn't catch the ball in his hands when it came back up to him and there was complete silence as it hit the ground one more time and rolled away. A small smile crept across his face, a disbelieving smile that said How could I be so stupid…

Shaking his head slightly, he looked down and turned to leave.

"Lucas, wait!" Peyton shouted, but her words fell on deaf ears.

AN: Wow,I realize that it has been many, many months since my last update and I now gravel at my reader's feet and say "Please come back to me!" I'm so sorry. Life just intervened along with school and I just couldn't find the time to update. But here is a new chapter and I really hope you like it. As always keep in mind that I am an LP fan to the deepest core so have heart, my dears.