4
Giles and Xander agreed not to tell Buffy about Faith until they were sure that the new Slayer was coming to Sunnydale. Giles seemed to have bought the story from Los Angeles that Faith had died in a prison yard fight.
Xander felt as if he hadn't slept since the night Angel called. He was useless at work, giving directions that countermanded his previous statements, walking around in a daze. He had wandered around the site with no hard hat on until one of his men crammed it onto his head, pointing to the warning sign Xander himself had put up.
His mind kept going in circles. How could he have done this? He had taken an innocent life. But he hadn't done it, Angel had. And she wasn't supposed to STAY dead. So did that make it better?
After senior year of high school, he had never been a big fan of Faith's. But he didn't want her dead. Not this way.
Buffy seemed unaware of his exhaustion. Hell with exhaustion, he thought. His depression. She was in school, patrolling, decorating the baby's room, worrying about Willow and Tara, training with Giles. For once he was glad of her distraction.
It was several nights after the phone call from Angel that Giles arrived on their doorstep while Buffy was on patrol. Xander opened the door and found himself pinned to the floor with Giles' arm pressed against his throat.
"What the bloody Hell did you do?" the Watcher demanded. His eyes were flashing. "How could you do it? Have you taken leave of what few senses you ever had?"
Xander was tired. He was so tired he didn't even struggle against the Watcher's arm. He closed his eyes and lay there as Giles shouted at him.
"Giles, get off him!" he heard Buffy shriek. The weight lifted off him. He opened his eyes to see Giles careen into the doorframe and land on his ass. Buffy leaned down to help Xander up, glaring at her Watcher over her shoulder.
Giles picked himself up, adjusting his glasses.
"What the Hell is going on here?" Buffy demanded.
Xander hadn't moved from the floor, hadn't responded to Buffy's outstretched hand. She stared at him, then straightened up and looked at Giles.
Giles was watching Xander, apparently astonished as tears slowly began to leak down the younger man's face.
"Faith is dead, Buffy," Xander said from the floor. "She's dead because I asked Angel to kill her."
Buffy spun back to him. The look of horror on her face was more than he could stand, and he closed his eyes again.
"Giles?" he heard Buffy say softly.
"It's true, Buffy. I just heard the truth from Wesley."
Buffy began to sob, and Xander heard the sound turn muffled as her Watcher put his arms around her. Xander opened his eyes to look into Giles' and the Watcher slowly shook his head, patting Buffy on the back as she cried into his chest.