A/N: It was a snow day. I was bored. All my friends were busy and/or sick and/or went to a school that didn't have the day off. So I decided to write my first non-script format Slayers fic. Humor/parody, cuz that's what I'm best at (in my mind at least).

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or Cinderella. If someone has already done a Slayers parody of Cinderella, I'm sorry, I didn't know, so PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!

Random Parody 1: Cinderlina

Once upon a time, in the cheesy, far away kingdom of Seyruun, there lived an unhappy sorceress. Why was she unhappy, a reader with nothing better to do cuz they have no life outside out might ask? She was unhappy for several reasons. One, she lived with two annoying step-sisters who drove her nuts. Two, she also lived with her real sister, who terrified her to the point of needing large dosages of tranquilizer. Three, said sisters all used her as a slave forcing her to do their housework and other stuff like that the author is too lazy to type.

At the moment, however, Lina (cuz that was her name) was having fun for once. Watching random lawyers chasing the Author while shouting "Copyright infringement! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!" was most entertaining. Her happiness was short lived.

"OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOH!" came an all too familiar laugh. Lina wondered how in the Nine Hells Catgirl had talked her into doing this story. Oh wait, she didn't. Catgirl had used her Author's Super Powers to force Lina into this. "Note to self," Lina muttered. "When you get out of here, Dragon Slave all authors." Hiding in a dumpster somewhere, Catgirl sneezed. Off in the distance, Lina could hear renewed cries of "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!"

Getting back to the story, the same person who was the source of that ear-shattering laugh you heard earlier shouted "Lina!"

"Yes, Naga?" Lina replied.

"Ummmmmm… clean the cellar!"

"But we don't have a cellar…"

"Then cook dinner!"

"Fine," Lina replied through gritted teeth. She really wanted to Dragon Slave Naga right now. But Catgirl, being the wonderful, intelligent, foresighted, wise, not to mention stunningly beau-

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Lina shrieked. "JUST GET ON WITH THE STUPID STORY!"

Sorry. Anyhoo, Catgirl had foreseen the aforementioned problem with Lina wanting to Dragon Slave Naga, and "persuaded" Luna to have a little "chat" with Lina about it.

"You slipped her a twenty, didn't you?" Filia asked, appearing out of nowhere. Maaaaaaaybe…. Filia sighed and disappeared.

Lina stomped off to the kitchen. Thirty minutes later, the house was on fire, and Naga and Martina (Lina's other step-sister) were being rushed to ummm… the Seyruun equivalent of a hospital for severe food poisoning.

Lina was bracing for sister's wrath, but was saved by the bell- er, town crier. "Hear ye! Hear ye!" the guy shouted, "There's a ball tomorrow night, any and all eligible ladies can attend cuz that's when Prince Gourry will choose his bride." Many female shrieks of glee were heard. Prince Gourry- in the opinion of the majority of Seyruun's females- was every girls dream man. He was handsome, chivalrous, kind, strong, yadda yadda yadda, all that jazz girls usually like in a man.

It's kind of sad how delusional they all are, was Lina's first thought. She was one of the few who actually knew that Gourry was dumb as a doorknob. Lina's second thought was, Now I wonder how Catgirl persuaded Gourry to do this story? Her third was, EEEEEK! IT'S LUNA! RUUUUUUUUUN! So Lina ran for dear life.

A few hours later, Lina was quivering inside a dumpster. Ironically enough, it was the same dumpster Catgirl had from the lawyers in, but that's not important to the story. Suddenly, there was a knock on the lid of the dumpster. Lina squeaked and dove under some piles of…. well, I'll spare you the details.

The knock came again. "I'm not here!" Lina shouted. "Miss Lina! It's me! Open up!" The voice wasn't Luna's, it was much too high. The lid of the dumpster opened in a slow, unnecessarily dramatic fashion.

Lina peeked her head out from under all the garbage. "Is Luna with you?" she asked timidly.

"No Miss Lina, she's not here," Amelia assured her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes,"

"Positive?"

"Yes, Miss Lina," she replied in an exasperated voice.

Lina heaved a sigh of relief, before giving Amelia a strange look. "Um, Amelia? What's with the weird outfit?" Amelia did have a rather strange outfit on. She was wearing a pink leotard, a pink lacy tutu with glittery sequins, pink tights, pink gauzy wings, and a shiny pink wand with a six pointed star at the top. She had so much pink on, it almost hurt Lina's eyes. It also reminded Lina of the guild color she'd received in Zephilia.

"This," Amelia gestured to her ballerina type outfit, "is my costume for the story. I'm your Fairy God Mother, and we're here to help you get ready for the ball!"

"We?" Lina sat up and looked around the alley were the dumpster was located. Behind Amelia stood Zelgadis, wearing the same outfit as Amelia.

"Hehe, nice outfit Zel," Lina sniggered. Zel just glared at her.

"Anyway," Amelia cut in, saving Zelgadis from further humiliation via Lina, "We're here to help you get ready for the ball!"

"But I don't wanna go to the ball," Lina deadpanned.

"Well you have to Lina!" Amelia insisted. "It's part of the plot! Besides, it would be unjust to leave poor Mr. Gourry at the mercy of the other annoying women who will be attending the ball!" She proceeded to launch into a very longwinded speech about Justice, and how Lina was Gourry's friend and it would be unjust for her to not try to help him situations like this, etc. etc. etc.

Lina sweatdropped, and Zel would've done the same if he hadn't been to busy plotting revenge on Catgirl for putting him through all this humiliation to notice the world around him. Catgirl wondered if doing this story (and others like it she had planned for later… FORESHADOWING!) was worth all the enemies she was making.

In the end, Lina agreed to go to the ball, mostly just to get Amelia to shut up. To make a long story short (well, shorter), Lina looked stunningly beautiful, as she must cuz this is a fairytale parody. The author, however, doesn't really feel like describing her outfit in scrutinizing detail, so she'll leave that up to your imagination.

Lina however, was less than happy with her new clothes. "Do I have to wear to wear a dress? And these heels are killing me!"

"Sorry Miss Lina," Amelia apologized. "It's all part of the plot. Besides, you look really pretty!"

"Yeah, you even look like you have a chest for a change!" Zel added under his breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Lina demanded, a vein throbbing on her forehead.

"Uh, nothing," Zel replied nervously.

"Yeah right, FIREBALL!" Zel and Amelia both went flying through the air and out of sight.

"That'll teach him," Lina muttered. "Now I might as well head over to that ball, not much else to do. RAY WING!" Even though she was flying, it took Lina a lot longer to reach the castle then she expected. First, a flying Zel and Amelia nearly crashed into her. Then she had to avoid getting charred to a crisp by an angry Filia-dragon who was trying to kill Xellos. And then there were the pink flying sheep that went moo. Lina could only assume they were the result of Catgirl drinking too much soda. She was probably right.

When Lina finally got to the ball, she met… a lot of strange people. There was a strange looking pirate with a braided beard and red bandana.

"Why is the rum gone?" the pirate wondered aloud, looking morosely into his mug. Nearby an abnormally short, bearded guy was saying to some blonde lady, "You know, it's true that you don't see many dwarf women. They're so alike in voice and appearance, that they're often mistaken for dwarf men."

"It's the beards," another guy whispered to the blonde lady. She giggled.

Lina jumped as someone tapped her on the shoulder. Turning around, she saw a tall creepy guy wearing a black suit, cape, mask, and helmet. The guy stared at her for a minute before announcing, "The Force is strong in this one." A little disturbed, Lina backed away from him slowly, before turning around and running away. She was beginning to question the author's sanity. Though, anyone who knows the author well doesn't question it. They already know she's well beyond all hope.

A little while later, Lina saw one of the few things that made her truly happy. "Food!" She dashed over to the food filled table and immediately began helping herself to every edible thing within her reach.

"Hey! That was my chicken wing!" Lina looked up from inhaling food to steal said chicken back.

"No, it was mine!" The food thief turned out to be none other than the Jellyfish himself. However, due to a plot device the Author just put in the story, Lina was wearing a mask so Gourry didn't recognize her. Though his memory's so bad he might not have recognized her even without the mask.

The two of them continued inhaling and squabbling over food for the next hour or so, causing many a jaw to hit the floor. But since the palace kitchens were only prepared for one person with a black hole for a stomach, (the cooking staff probably would've quit if they'd known there'd be two. Indeed many of them did quit afterwards and the rest tried to sue. But that's another story, which the Author, lazy as usual, doesn't feel like telling.)

The fact that there was no more food left Lina and Gourry very depressed. On the other the hand, the servants were quite relieved-they didn't have to keep frantically bringing more and more food from the kitchen trying to keep up with Lina and Gourry's eating rate. They were also considering filing a lawsuit, but again that's not important to this story.

After a moment of depressed silence, Gourry asked, "Do you wanna dance?"

Oh what the heck, Lina thought, It's not like there's anything better to do... "Sure," she replied. So they danced for a while.

Okay, maybe "danced" isn't the right verb choice. They looked more like they were mimes acting like they were drowning. It was not long before all the other guests had cleared a wide berth for them.

Suddenly Lina froze. Not literally, she wasn't encased in a block of ice. She was frozen in terror. The source of her terror was (you guessed it!) Luna. With high pitched shriek she whirled around and tore out the door, leaving a very perplexed Gourry (correction: more perplexed than normal). But since this is a parody of Cinderella, Lina accidentally left one of her glass slippers on the castle steps.

Gourry bent over to look at the shoe. Oooh, sparkly, he thought and picked it up as a souvenir.

To make a long story short(er), (cuz the author's running out of ideas for now), Gourry got the weird idea that the shoe would only fit the person who owned it. No one quite understood the logic behind this, but then again, trying to follow Gourry-logic (if there is such a thing) will turn your brain into a pudding-like substance that would make you think of nothing but cows, cheese and jellyfish for the rest your life.

As Gourry walked down the street with the shoe, he felt something hit him on the back of the head.

"My shoe! Gimme!" It was the girl from the ball, aka Lina.

Gourry actually recognized her (cuz I said so!) and blurted "Will you marry me?"

Lina became insane for 2.3 seconds, just long enough say completely out of character: "Ok!"

So they got married, lived happily ever after, etc. etc. etc.

That is, until Lina found out Catgirl was doing another story.

"DRAGON SLAVE!"

Heheh, gotta run! Bye!

A/N: There finished! Whaddaya think? I'll take any kind of review except flames. Flames I shall use on s'mores and my effigy pile. Ideas for later parodies are welcome.

Next parody: Snow Amelia!