A/N: Ok, I know I said last chapter I'd probably do a parody of Shrek, but I was watching PotC last night and got inspired. Also, since it was taking me so darn long to write this (partly due to the length of the story, and partly due to writers block), I decided to make this a two-part fic. Hope ya like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers, PotC, Kawaii Otaku of Doom or anything else you recognize in this fic.

Parody #3: Slayers of the Caribbean- Part 1

Many years before the beginning of this parody...

"A pirate's life for me," an eight year old chibi Amelia sang softly. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Eeeek! Burst rondo!" Amelia shouted out of instinct.

"Owwww…"

"Oh, heh, sorry Mr. Gourry," she apologized. "You scared me."

"If you travel with Lina for as long as I have, you get used to it," a charred Gourry shrugged. He wandered off to the ships galley to look for food.

Amelia continued to sing about pirates. The author has decided to fill in this plothole, even though this is a humor fic and therefore doesn't need to make a lot of sense. No doubt she's just using this as an excuse to make some more lousy jo- OW! The narrator is hit by an anvil.

"I'm queen in this fic, and don't you forget it!" the author shouted. Fine, fine… Anyways, the author had had a hard time persuading some of the Slayers (namely Lina and Amelia) to appear in this fic, since PotC glorifies pirates, which are basically bandits that sail in ships, and since Lina and Amelia hate bandits, well, I really probably don't have to go further.

It's kind of strange, cuz the author doesn't usually persuade people to appear in fics. She makes them. OW! Another anvil clonks the narrator in the noggin.

"One more time and you're through…" the author growled. Alright, alright. So, getting back to the story, the author managed to convince the Slayers that these pirates were like Robin Hood (or Lina). I always knew that Amelia could be gullible at times, but- OW! Hey, leggo a me you stupid #$&! Aaah-

CRASH.

SHATTER.

BOOM.

THUMP.

WHAM.

Silence.

Ahem. Author here, sorry to keep you waiting folks. Our narrator is no longer working for me (stupid little sonova-), so I've taken over narration until I can find a replacement. Now, getting back to our story (finally!), Amelia looked out around the ship she was on. There wasn't much to see, since the ship was stuck in a big blanket of mist, the sort of mist people like to write flowery poetry about.

"Oooo, look at the pretty umbrella!" Amelia cried. As those of you who've seen PotC might've guessed, there was an umbrella/parasol type thing floating in the water. Under normal circumstances, Amelia might've wondered what the heck an umbrella was doing in the middle of the ocean, since hers was the only ship for miles (as far she knew, heh heh heh heh…). But all the Slayers cast knew by now about the author's fondness for using plot holes to get random stuff, and they'd all gotten used to random, out of place objects popping up at odd times.

But another thing came floating out of the Mists of Flowery Poetry, and this time it was object that was strange even by the author's plot hole standards. On a raft made of cheese, lay an unconscious, eight year old, and chibified Zel.

By the time the sailors on the ship saw Zelgadis, shouted "Man overboard!" and run around shrieking "Not ready! Not ready!" for a few minutes, Amelia had already ray-winged over to the aforementioned chimera, carried him back to the ship, and started casting a healing spell. Nearby, Phil ranted about what a great warrior of justice Amelia was.

"Oooo, shiny!" Amelia said, fingering a medallion around Zel's neck. Engraved on it was a happy little bunny holding a bazooka. It's so cute! Amelia thought, pocketing it. She figured Zel wouldn't mind her taking it, since he'd rather be caught dead than with something like that.

Present day. Finally.

Xellos panted as he ran from hordes of shrieking rabid fangirls, who were chasing him with battle cries of "MARRY ME XELLY-KUN!" and "GET HIM!" and "Oooh, look at the cute bunny." Leading the charge of said fangirls was the authors' friend Kawaii Otaku of Doom. "YAY! My one true looooooove! Well, besides my other fifteen bishies...Oh well!" she shrieked.

Why me? Xellos thought.

"Because it's fun to torture you," came the author's reply.

"Don't I know it," grumbled Lina.

"Shush. Besides, you're not s'posed to appear yet."

"Oh yeah." Lina vanished into a plot hole. After finally losing the fangirls, Xellos continued to wonder around Port Seyruun.

Nearby…

Amelia was enjoying a party. It was to celebrate the Seyruun family's first entire year without any royal assignation attempts. According to history books, it was a first.

"Bwahahahahahahahaha!" cackled Alfred, as he chased Phil around with a knife. "Die Uncle Phil, DIIIIE!"

Oh dear, she thought, sighing, There goes our record. "Fireball!"

"Mommy…" whimpered Alfred, before collapsing in a charred, crispy heap to the ground.

"Justice always wins!" cheered Phil as he ran around in circles like a maniac. At that very second, flying monkeys attacked Port Seyruun.

"Wait a minute!" Amelia cried. "There weren't any flying monkeys in Pirates of the Caribbean!"

"Yeah, well," said Gaav, randomly appearing, "You've no clue how hard it is to find good help these days, so I had to hire people from the Wizard of Oz to play the pirates." He promptly whacked Amelia on the head and dragged her back to his ship, the Shiny Stone.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" wailed Zel.

"Wait, when did you get here?" queried Phil.

"Uh, heheh," Zel chuckled nervously, "Behind you! A giant homicidal guinea pig!" As Phil looked around, Zel dashed off.

Later…

The flying monkey attack was finally over, so everyone was happy. Except Zel. He was depressed. What else is new? This time, however, he was depressed that Amelia was gone.

"Hiya Zel!" Xellos said cheerfully.

Zel sighed. "What is it now Xellos?"

"I know where Amelia is!"

"And?"

"Sore wa himitsu desu!"

Zel sighed again. He'd walked right into that one. Xellos opened one eye and put that evil look on his face that makes many a Xellos fangirl faint with bliss. "Heeeey, wasn't your grandpa Rezo the Red Priest?"

Zel glared at him. "What of it?"

"I'll take you to your girlfriend if you want," Xellos offered.

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"But you married her in the last parody…"

"Uh……" Zel turned a shade of magenta that would make a color printer proud. Desperate to change the subject, he agreed to let Xellos take him to Amelia.

End of Part 1

A/N: Not much to say here except R&R! By the way, my contest for who can spot all the parodies/references is still going, since no one has guessed yet.