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Possibly triggering content! It will end okay, I promise, look at the title, but please, if you are squeamish, be aware there are horrendous conditions of a death camp described, allusions to rape etc.
O'Neill felt like the time has stopped. He never understood that time is relevant thing Carter was always talking about with such fervor, but now he got it. From the moment he saw her battered body lying still on the floor, everything stopped.
It took his brain a while to process the scene, she was all just bones and bruised skin, so he barely recognized her. But those beautiful piercing blue eyes, the ones that drove him insane, were now looking at him, with the pupils rigid and there was no doubt then. All hope was lost.
He was too late. He didn't save her and now she was gone. Forever. He was aware someone was speaking, but it all felt like everybody was too far away. When the words finally filtered through him, he snapped back to action. They needed to get out of here. Daniel desperately needed to get to the infirmary and all the big needles that were there.
Looking around he noticed his teams was prepared to go, without him having to direct them. He honestly didn't care at this point. He couldn't be expected to continue to lead anyone after she and Teal'c have died. All he could do at this point is to make sure Daniel will be okay and receives the best care possible.
He tried to ignore how broken her body looked, how the scrapes of her remaining clothes hanged from the still body and lifted her up into his arms. She was so easy to lift, people shouldn't weigh so little. His heart was breaking again. His big arms were hiding much of her body and anyway it's not like anybody was looking. But he still yearned to wrap her carefully into a blanket before they left. There was no time for that during rescue ops like this.
He didn't even remember the journey from the caves to the gate. He didn't pretend to lead, he just put one foot after the other and hoped his body won't fail him, because he couldn't count on his mind at this point. He couldn't imagine living without her. Without watching her perform miracles on a daily basis, saving Earth with her incredible technobabble and her incredible smile that brightened any room nothing just seemed worth it.
"Put them on the gurneys, let's take them to the infirmary." The good doctor shouted as soon as they were through.
He walked around her, not letting go of Carter's body and aiming for the morgue. He shouted at the nearest airman to open the door for him and then slam it behind them.
"Nobody goes in, understood? Or you'll be out of the air force before you can say demotion."
"Yes, sir!"
Once at their destination, he laid Carter at the shiny metal table, grabbing a white sheet and covering her body tenderly. She wouldn't want people staring. Carter... She never was comfortable with revealing clothes and stuff like that. He couldn't understand how it was even possible, but she seemed really insecure. He could remember her embarrassment when she recalled stripping her top off after drinking that strong alien alcoholic beverage. How could she not see how perfect she was? Did she not own a mirror? And that big brain of hers, wasn't it big enough to figure out she was perfect?
It was just now that he noticed tears flowing down his cheeks. Damn, he can't remember the last time he cried. He did cry because of Charlie. And because of Sara leaving. And now he lost Carter… Sam, for crying out loud. He didn't even call her by the first name and she meant so much to him. Why was he so afraid to admit what he felt? Things might have been different and she might have been alive.
He stood up and walked a few steps to be closer to her. Her skin was pale, too pale, and had almost no muscle left on her body. He squeezed his eyelids together. God, she must have been starved for weeks. He grabbed one side of the sheet, wanting to cover Sam better, when he noticed her right thigh. It was black and blue and purple and green, all the colors associated with bruises in different stages of healing, several cuts and abrasions were peppering her body as well, but that was not what he was looking at. A clearly defined semicircle was missing from her thigh, where her hips were the widest. Someone has bitten a piece of Sam's leg.
What kind of place had he left her in? All the SG personnel in fact. He should have found them long time ago and stop denying what he felt towards Sam. It shouldn't have ended like this.