I do not own anything. If you recognize it, it is not mine.

Hope you are healthy and safe!

I am sorry I am uploading so slowly, but it's exam period and I was ill, barely able to fulfill my Uni duties. Here's a chapter so you'll see I am still working on this.

Please review!

He knew exactly what Daniel meant. 'I can't. I can't do this, Jack. I understand now.' God! Jack swallowed with difficulty as he looked as his friend. Janet had to knock Daniel out in the end, with something really strong by the looks of it. He slid down to the bed and stopped fighting quickly after the sedative was injected into the IV tubing.

Remembering how Daniel helped him when he was in such a dark place, he shuddered. The all positive, always finding a way, encouraging Daniel that kept showing up at his door, talking to him even if he just barked snarky comments back at him. The one that forced him to eat when he was too weak to get up from the bed, the one who hid all the booze in his house or pour it down the drain or whatever. He wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Daniel. He wouldn't met Carter, Teal'c and they wouldn't be able to defend Earth.

He was ashamed to admit he felt the urge to shut down like he did after Charlie. This was Carter! And, of course Teal'c, too. He didn't forget about losing his comrade in arms. A friend, basically a brother, who died trying to save Carter. He knew Teal'c wouldn't stop unless Carter was safe, that was probably what killed him then. He would have done the same. He would have died for her if need be. He would have died instead of her if given the choice.

But he wouldn't. He'd be there for Daniel, he needed to repay that debt. And he knew Carter would want him to do that, continue on. She was his incredible brilliant soldier. Damn, he missed her. Even though he spent all that time staring at her dead body, he still expected her to walk through the door and say hi to him and explain it was all just a dream, hallucination or simulation. But that hadn't happened. He lost her.

He felt exhausted and frankly was sick with the looks people were giving him, so he retreated to his office. Great pile of papers were waiting for him there. Anger began to grow inside him. How come everything seemed to go on without her? Everyone else on the base just carried on, even those she was gone.

There was a knock on the door, and he wanted nothing more than to shout out to the person who knocked to get lost. But he didn't. He took a deep breath and said 'come in'.

"Good afternoon, sir. Reported as ordered." Major Jennifer Hailey walked through the door and saluted him. She was in her dress blues, her long brown hair in a ponytail. Ïn her right hand she held her bag and with the other she clutched her paperwork to her chest.

"Ordered? By whom?" Jack frowned.

"Uh… Here are my orders, sir. I am here to assist Colonel Carter with-"

"She's dead." He said quickly, not wanting to hear about what Carter was supposed to be doing. He felt guilty enough for not being able to save her in time. He knew he was being an ass, but he had no energy left to try to break it gently to the young woman who Carter compared to herself.

He could see the reaction on her face. First the shock, then confusion and afterwards just sadness. Her mouth opened, but it was obvious she didn't know what to say. She fiddled with the edge of her uniform jacket and then cleared her throat. "I am so sorry, sir. I wasn't informed."

"I got that." Jack said bitterly. "Anyway, have you had time to rest after the journey here?"

"Well, no. But if there's anything I can do…"

"There's not!" He said, watching as the young officer flinched at the tone of his voice. Damn, he was really messing things up, but he just couldn't help but see the similarities to Carter. How she offered to do more if it was needed, the way in which she talked to him.

"Yes, sir."

"Find a room and get some shut-eye before I'll get on top of things here." He gestured towards the papers on his desk.

"Yes, sir. As I said, I am sorry." She leaned forward to put the necessary papers in front of him and then turned to leave.

"Yeah, me too." Jack whispered.