Remus never though of himself as a 'Rocker'. Sirius and James were 'rockers', Peter knew how to 'rock', but Remus preferred something less...headache producing.
Remus didn't really think that the sound of a drum constantly pounding and 4 of 5 guitars 'riffing' at the same time was a pleasant sound. He liked soft piano, jazz bands, orchestra's playing symphonies. When the Marauders were still in school, they had days assigned to certain music's. Classical from Remus on Monday, Jazz for Remus and James on Tuesday, rock on Wednesday for James and Sirius (and Peter), punk for Sirius on Thursday, and Friday's music was changed based on who was in the room. So he had been exposed to rock before, head banging, air-guitar, screaming nonsense rock, and had learned that the best way to combat the music was to get into it or get away from it.
So when Remus moved into a flat with Peter and Sirius, he had to adapt more. Wormtail and Padfoot liked their music so loud that you couldn't concentrate on anything else. Remus would have to abandon his work and join his friends in the living room and would sing (yell) along with the songs that had been played time and time again.
Even still, rock was never his favorite. He liked the lyrics - when he understood them - and was very special of going to a concert that put masses of people together with that head banging, resounding music. Sirius loved it - thrived off of it - and after Peter moved out, Sirius tired to drag Remus to as many concerts as he possible could. Remus had a long standing potion of never saying yes, but Padfoot had started to were on...
"Please!"
"...Padfoot, I have a mission tomorrow...I can't."
"Moony! Please! It's our favorite band! (It was really Sirius favorite band, and because he played them almost 24/7, it they had become Remus' favorite rock band as well) Just come with me for once! You've never been to a concert!"
Remus turned and let he reading glasses slide down his nose.
"Padfoot, if I wanted a headache so bad, I would play them on the record player."
Sirius was on his knees now, his hands clasped over his bare chest, his eyes wide. Sirius was dressing for the concert later that night, his hair already in a neat disarray. He was also doing his best impression of Padfoot's 'please don't kick me' eyes - doing them quite well, Remus realized. Already, Sirius had drawn thick lines out of kohl under his eyes, making the deep burnt charcoal color of them darken and widened as well. Remus shook his head and looked away from Sirius face, biting his lip.
"Please Moony! For me! I'll...i'll go to one of those Mozart concerts you were talking about! I'll even were a tux and be nice and not fall asleep! Pretty please come with me!"
This made Remus turn once more, looking more surprise then anything. Sirius smiled, jumping on this sudden opportunity. "I'll pay too! It'll be my treat! We could get something to eat before hand, and then go, and come back, and I'll give you a head ach relieving potion and we'll have scotch and I'll make a fire and it I'll be fun! Then when you get back we'll go see an orchestra, or an opera! Please!"
...Did...did Sirius just - "Sure." Was Remus un-thought out response, and Sirius all but screamed. The black hair man shot to his feat and hugged Remus, then dashed out of the room scream something about clothing and makeup behind him.
Remus didn't move for a moment, then embarrassment flooded his face. Had Sirius just ask him out? Like...on a date? A DATE-date? With food? ..and He had excepted?
Sirius shouted his name from his room down the hall, and Remus felt dread sink into his stomach. He had never been on a date...let alone a date to a rock concert. Remus shut his book and slowly go up, preparing himself for the night...
It hadn't been as bad as he thought. There was still a ringing in his ears, but the good kind of riffing - one that left you knowing that you had good time. Remus had Sirius leather jacket around his shoulders, a tight black shirt stretching across his thin frame. Remus' pants hung as low as Sirius did, dropping low on his hips and tight agents his legs.
Remus was quite afraid - before they stepped into the club - that other people could see his ribs. He thought his pants were falling down and until halfway through the night he was pulling the belt loops up unconsciously. Sirius had given him his jacket in order to keep Remus from having his arms crossed over his chest, and it had worked. Sirius was wearing much the same outfit, his pants black and ripped from his...well, from his knees all the way up. His tank top was tight and thin, deep cream like brown.
But afterwards, after Remus fell into a song he knew, he had really enjoyed himself. He felt the music and had jumped in with Sirius and let himself go. He didn't worry about the war outside, or the mission tomorrow, or anything else. He knew the music pounding, the hundred and something people in the club, and Sirius next to him.
Remus opted to walk home instead of apparating, the cool night air inviting and the adrenalin still pumping in Remus' veins. Sirius laughed and agreed, and they started toward home, Sirius shoulder brushing Remus every few steps.
"You did enjoy yourself, didn't ya?" It was colder outside then it had been before the concert, making puffs of condensation float out toward the night sky. Sirius voice was horse, and Remus could feel how sore his was as well. Remus smiled and thread his fingers through his grime feeling hair, letting the nigh air slip over this unprotected torso.
"Yeah." He heard himself say, and Sirius laughed. It filled the night air, and it made Remus' smile widen.
"You ready for that scotch?"
Remus shook his head. He was tired, and this night would be ruined if he woke up with a hangover. "No - none for me tonight."
Remus pulled his keys from Sirius jacket pocket when they reached their building and unlocked the front door. The ride up in the elevator was filled with ideal chatter about the concert and enjoyment. Sirius opened the door to the flat and kicked his shoes of, Remus following - dropping Sirius jacket and kicking his shoes off as well. There was sense of almost completion with the slamming of the door behind him - the next to end of a perfect night.
"You sure you don't want that scotch!" Sirius shouted from the kitchen, Remus padding over toward the entrance of their little nook with a stove. Sirius was scratching the side of his leg with his foot, digging through the top cabinet for their good scotch. His shirt was stuck to his back where he sweat through it, his hair mangled looking in the back. The line of his arm reaching up to hold the top of the cabinet as he ruffled through their good bottles of wine and liquor led straight into his shoulder and up his neck and Remus found his face hot.
With a turn of his neck, the line was broken and found again in the planes of his face and the lines of his hair. His eyes sparkled with happiness and Remus felt his stomach knot.
"...Moony?"
With a snap, Remus blinked and realized that he was staring. He shook his head and dropped his gaze, feeling his face heat and a pull low in his stomach.
"No, Sirius, thanks anyway. I'm showering and going to bed." And with that Remus fled to the sanctuary of the bathroom and came hard under the scalding spray of water.
Remus slept for an hour or two before he left, the flat quiet, Sirius passed out with he bottle of scotch on the floor and a glass on his stomach. His hair was splayed across their floral print pillows they found in a garage sale, still wearing the clothes from last night, and Remus heart contracted. There was just morning sun streaming in through their mismatching blinds and Remus' fingertips just brushed Sirius forehead.
There was something about him, Remus realized - had realized last night after their...well date, that made him so...
Sirius hair was soft between his fingers, and Remus had to pull himself away and out the door before he did anything he couldn't explain.
It was raining when he came back, walking into a cold, dark flat. Sirius boots and jacket were gone from next to the door. The house had the smell of dust and no sunshine after about a week.
Remus' heart hurt.
He let his bags fall next to the door, let his coat slip off. The flat was silent and cold, and Remus hit the record player - surprised to hear Mozart Europe in the living room. It started Remus, so much so that he hand to place his hand against the wall and his heart in order to not falter and fall.
Was...had Sirius listened to his music?
Remus shook his head and slipped into the kitchen, seeing Sirius in his minds eyes rummaging through the liquor cabinet, cooking, rummaging through the refrigerator. He paused again to remember it all, then broke open the liquor cabinet and grabbing wine. Before he slipped to of the kitchen he spotted a tall bottle and two glasses sitting on the table, making him stop. There was a small note stuck under the bottle, written neatly, and it made Remus' heart pause then squeeze in surprise.
'Moony. There are tickets for a classical concert this weekend in my room. I'll meat you there. This is the scotch you took a rain check on. Save it
-Padfoot'
Remus was afraid of this. Of the letter. Of this...whole feeling. Yes, a feeling. He would admit that he had a feeling toward Sirius. A feeling. He was afraid of that feeling, because of this war - he was afraid of getting attached. but if felt so good, so right, like rock and role, like loosing yourself in music.
Remus took a swig of wine from the bottle in his hand and tasted fruit. He was not going to think about it. He wouldn't think about Sirius.
It was harder then he thought, and by the night of the concert Remus hadn't slept all that well. He been thinking about nothing but Sirius. He seems to be everywhere, infused into the foundation of the flat. Everywhere Remus went he would see Sirius, and it made his heart contract and made him just want to be...well...
Remus had listened to Sirius rock albums, letting the drum beats that had annoyed him before the rock concert beat through out the flat and it let him concentrate on the music and the timing and the beat. It was nicer then the quiet music he loved - it let him relax. But when he tried to sleep he would feel Sirius presence just out of reach. Like he would hear the toiled flush and see the light go out in the hallway, then look up and there would be nothing. Like Sirius was there...
So Remus ended up sleeping in Sirius' room - well, it was more like laying in Sirius bed with his eyes glued on the ceiling - and had gotten less sleep then he had the previous nights.
The thought of this second date, and Remus was now referring to it in his head, had become something like that preverbal breath on the back of his neck. He hated it, but he like the anxious feeling of exception something...he knew he was over thinking everything. He knew it. He shouldn't expect anything like what he was expecting. He seeing something between Sirius and himself that wasn't really there - making it all up.
It was things like this that Remus had been thinking of - that had been driving him up the wall.
While dressing in his good suit, Remus wondered vaguely if Sirius really would show up. He kicked the record player to change the song and smiled. He would show. Right?
'Stop being so doubtful Remus, and just leave. you're going to be late.'
Remus agreed with himself and pulled on his jacket, grabbing the tickets from where he found them in Sirius' room and apparateing away.
This was the second time this week that Sirius made Remus feel like his heart was breaking. Sitting outside of the concert hall, his coat buttoned up as high as it could go, his hands dug deep into his pocked, his eyes almost tearing. The concert had started almost 45 minuets ago, and he could hear the music for where he sat. Sirius hadn't shown up - Remus thought himself an idiot. Did he really believe that Sirius would come?
Well yes, he had hoped. But it seamed that the world after Hogwarts was full of false hope and fake promises.
"REMUS!"
The shout startled the werewolf, bringing him to his feat with a surprise. Sirius was running up the stairs, breath heaving, clothes dirtied, his eyes wide and sorrowful.
"Remus... I'm - I'm so sorry. I didn't meant to take so long. We had problems, and i tried to get back as fast as I could, and I checked the flat to see if you had left and I'm so sorry..."
There was a numbing feeling that raced thought him, lacing over his heart, making him still. Sirius was panting, his hair in disarray, his face flushed from the cold and the running. And Remus had wanted him to here on time, to be with him in the concert hall listing to classical music. But with Sirius standing here, the planes of his so pale face against the cold night sky, Remus really didn't care any more.
Remus took the few steps down to stand on the same level as Sirius and smiled. "Lets go home."
Remus took the steps down and stopped when he realized that Sirius wasn't fallowing him. Sirius was staring at Remus' back, his face, whit an expression almost unreadable. Remus turned to almost face him, raising his eyebrows, and feeling that angst and want flutter up and heat his face again.
"Come on Sirius..."
"What about the concert?"
"I don't care about the concert. Lets go home..."
"But, Remus-"
"Sirius." Remus had taken up a few steps up and stood so close to Sirius that he could feel the others breath, his head. Remus kept himself closed, calm, letting the flutters effect his heart not his face. He made sure that he was able to look at Sirius straight in the face, realizing that he was taller then the other man with a smile. "I don't care about the concert. Lets go home."
There was quiet, a lull in the music inside, the soft sound of a viola echoing out. Sirius was staring at him, and Remus realized that he didn't care bout the concert. That he cared about going out with Sirius more then what they did, that he loved the fact that he liked being out with Sirius with - liked having Sirius happy. It mattered if Sirius was happy - Remus realized, suddenly, with another flutter of heat and fear - it mattered if Sirius was enjoying himself and happy and Remus didn't care about the orchestra or the guitars or anything. It was Sirius.
"Please Sirius...lets go home."
Sirius' face changed rapidly, from confusion to deep thought to wonder - to understanding. Sirius then started down the stairs, grabbing onto Remus arm along the way, pulling him and apparateing before Remus could say anything else.
They appeared back into the flat and Sirius shoved Remus up against the wall and kissed him. Remus' heart stopped and heat flared up from Sirius hand on to his arms. They met at chest and at hips and Sirius pushed and it felt so good. Remus heard someone moan and he felt a something lick at his lips, asking, pleading. Remus let him in and held onto Sirius' arms and pushed back.
Sirius broke off first, his breath whooshing out over Remus' neck - panting, warmth. Remus could smell Sirius - he knew the sent like he knew the sent of old books - and let Sirius hold him to the wall, his feet stuck in Sirius old shoes and their coat hanger digging into his shoulder. Sirius face was flushed, colors spotting high on his cheeks, and Sirius mumbled "Remus..." against his neck.
Remus wanted this. Wanted this feeling - this pull, this need. He wanted Sirius to kiss him again, wanted to feel Sirius grind against him - wanted something certain. Some - pardon the wording - hard and unbreakable and lasting.
"Sirius..." Remus heard himself mumble - he wasn't really there any more. His conscious, his normal rational brain had run away and the real Remus, the Remus that wanted something more then rock concerts and symphonies and invitations for a glass of scotch and weeks of absences that made your heart burn and the loss of it all.
"I'm sorry.." He was pulling away, pulling the warmth away, and Remus grabbed him and crushed they're mouth's together and ate at the warmth and life and the essence of Sirius that he had come to have feelings for.
Love.
He could love Sirius. that feeing that makes him want to sleep in Sirius bed when he was away.
"Stay with me." Remus murmured around kisses. Sirius threaded his gritty, dirty hand through Remus' hair and Remus loves his gritty, dirty hands.
"Are we skipping the scotch and dinner and going straight to the after math of a date."
This mad Remus freeze - well, pause - it was hard to frees with Sirius pushing his hips against Remus'.
"Date?"
Sirius smiled and kissed the joint between Remus' jaw and ear, nibbling softly. Remus found himself moaning, forgetting his worries and fears and falling into the heat that Sirius' mouth brought.
"Yes, a date Moony. Really, why else would I drag you to a rave, or even think of going to a bloody concert..."
Remus found himself laughing and Sirius found the button of his trousers, and suddenly it didn't matter if they skipped the dinner and scotch and went right to the kiss at the front door.