Previous stories in the series include Hairy Situations and Situational Hair, Midst of Rough Earthliness, Discordant Hormoney, Harmonious Discourse, and Legacies and Traditions. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)
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2nd Chapter
In which there are NO shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades.
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Staring at the gun pointed at his face, Booster made a decision. Ducking to the side, he grabbed Ted as he activated his forcefield.
"What--Hey!" the Blue Beetle protested indignantly, adjusting his aim. "Stop--Oh you guys so better not be shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades!"
"That was one of the three explanations?" Ted demanded.
"Number five, actually."
Booster looked up to frown at him. "I thought you said you thought of three."
"At the time," Blue Beetle said defensively. "I kept thinking! That's why I asked you to go first."
"Asked?" Ted sputtered. "You threatened!"
Tilting his head to look at the gun he was still pointing at them, the Blue Beetle straightened and frowned uncertainly. "You could've been shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades! Or kill-bots! Or...something..."
"Kill-bots?" Booster muttered, glancing at Ted. Ted looked back and they stared at each other for a moment, as if trying to determine if the other was secretly a kill-bot.
Looking over his shoulder, the Blue Beetle said, "I thought you said you had them."
That was when they noticed the other person in the room. He had no distinguishing features. In fact he didn't have features, period.
"Isn't that your sociopath friend from Hub?" Booster whispered to Ted, who quickly shushed him.
"I did," the faceless man hissed. "'Power boost.' It went too far and in the wrong direction!" He threw something at the Blue Beetle, who caught it as it bounced off his chest. "I'm going to sleep on your couch."
"But--" the Blue Beetle started to protest as the Question stalked toward the door.
"I can't try again so soon," Question cut him off, then added, "They are who they look like. Start from there."
"They could look like shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades," Blue Beetle muttered petulantly after the man was gone.
"That's a favorite with you, isn't it?" Ted asked dryly.
The Blue Beetle seemed to abruptly remember that they were there and straightened his arm holding the gun again. After a moment he sighed and lowered it. "Late, late movie last night," he admitted. He cocked his head and frowned thoughtfully at them. "I know who you look like, but...you don't look exactly like them." He motioned at them with his gun. "So who are you?"
"...Who do we look like?" Ted stalled.
Slumping, Blue Beetle stared up at the ceiling and groaned in frustration. After a moment he straightened again and put the gun away in the holster on his belt. "Okay, cards on the table," he said, reaching for his cowl. "Full disclosure, blah blah blah." He shoved the cowl off his head, revealing messy brown hair that looked like it could use a cut or a comb or both. Pulling his goggles off, he blinked familiar blue eyes at them. "You look a lot like my parents."
Booster dropped his forcefield in shock. "Junior?" he asked in disbelief.
Shaking off Booster, Ted took a step forward, examining the Blue Beetle dazedly. "Damn," he muttered.
Looking startled, then slightly hurt, the man asked, "What?"
Ted crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "You did get my short genes," he said. They were the same height. "Am I ever going to hear the end of it?"
A grin spread across the man's face. "I still hold out hope for a very late growth spurt."
"It is Junior?" Booster asked Ted, coming to stand next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. He was the tallest of the three. "Ah, question: time travel or age thing?"
"What year is it?" Ted asked Junior.
Junior scratched his ear thoughtfully. "Um...thirty-one eighty-four."
"What!" Ted and Booster chorused incredulously.
"But--That's after I was born!" Booster sputtered. "That's after Kid Flash was born." He paused thoughtfully. "I think."
Junior stared from one to the other in confusion, then his face suddenly cleared and he grinned sheepishly. "Oh. Right, sorry. Sorry, I...I forget sometimes. Usually everyone knows to convert--Right. That's, uh, heh. That's by the Discordian calendar. Sorry." He covered his face with one hand and snickered. "God this is just...just too freaking typical."
With a laugh, he looked up at them again and beamed. "Does this family have the worst luck with magic, or what?"
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It didn't take long for them to pinpoint when in time Ted and Booster had been grabbed. Once adequately prompted, Junior smacked his forehead and admitted he couldn't believe he hadn't figured it out sooner.
"I was a few months old before I realized you guys didn't always have bad hair," he had said, then amended it with, "Well, once I figured out what bad hair looked like, anyway."
To which Ted had self-consciously tried to flatten his hair and made a mental note to get someone to fix the damage Booster had done to it.
Just as they were starting to question a tight-lipped Junior, the sound of a door slamming elsewhere interrupted.
"Honeeey, I'm hooome!" a female voice called out.
"In the lab, dear!" Junior shouted back, grinning.
Ted and Booster shared a look, surprised at this new development.
Not long after, the door opened and a tall, athletic-looking woman with short blond hair and glowing orange eyes peered into the room. "Is anything going to explode or suffocate me, darling?"
"Not at all, light of my life," Junior said cheerfully as he looked up. He suddenly stifled a laugh, clearing his throat. "Um..." He pointed to his own eyes and wiggled his finger, giving her a pointed look.
The woman stared at him in confusion for a moment, then her eyebrows flew up. "Oh damn! Damn! I'm still wearing--No wonder that nun looked at me funny!"
Junior burst out laughing and the woman stuck her tongue out at him as she entered the room. It was then that she caught sight of Ted and Booster.
Ted and Booster waved.
The woman stared at them and waved back.
"Blue?" she asked with false sweetness. "Sitrep?"
"Oh," Junior motioned to Ted and Booster. "We accidentally pulled them from the past."
"Ah." The woman nodded as she came to stand next to his chair, then abruptly smacked his shoulder. "What did I tell you about unraveling the space-time continuum?"
"Not to! Ow." Junior pouted at her. "What was that for?"
"Parents from the past, Blue? I can feel the multiverse crashing around us as we speak! What the hell?"
"It'll be fine, Goldie!" Junior protested.
"So are we feeding them?" Goldie asked, her indignation suddenly gone.
Junior leaned his head against her hip and she started petting his hair. "Did you get corn?"
"In a can, just like you like," Goldie confirmed, smiling down at him. "Want me to put some aside when I warm it up?"
"You're too good to me."
"I know. You're doing the dishes."
"Ah, excuse me," Ted spoke up, startling the pair. "Are you two...?" He motioned between them with an expectant look on his face.
Junior and Goldie stared at him, exchanged a look, then stared at him again.
"Partners," Junior said as Goldie said, "Roommates."
They exchanged another look.
"We live together," Goldie said.
"And work together," Junior added.
"Blue Beetle and Gold Star," Goldie gushed, striking a pose.
"A new generation of Blue and Gold!" Junior was hampered by the chair in his ability to pose heroically, but never-the-less did his best.
"Gold Star?" Booster repeated slowly.
Goldie beamed at him. "I was your plucky young sidekick until you retired."
"Semi-retired," Junior corrected.
"Well I'm not his sidekick anymore anyway," Goldie countered. "Big damn hero, here."
Junior grinned up at her and she shoved him, rolling her eyes. "Not a word, Blue Boy," she said, starting for the door. "I'm gonna put groceries away. Can I assume Mr. Punctuation is on the couch?"
"Don't wake him, he's cranky," Junior warned.
"When isn't he? S'why I never asked to be his plucky young sidekick." Goldie struck another pose in the doorway. "Comma Girl: Making criminals pause! Bleh." Pausing to look over her shoulder as she left, she smiled, a bit sadly, at Ted and Booster. "It's nice to see you guys again."
Junior beamed at them. "Isn't she swell?" he said cheerfully.
"Yeaaah," Ted said slowly, staring at the door suspiciously. "Junior, where are...the future us?"
Waving airily, Junior said, "Went missing a bit ago. I've been trying to find--hang on a sec." He tapped something metal in his ear. "Hello? ...Yes. To whichm personality am I speaking?" He grinned. "S'up, your gloominess? ...Uh huh...uh huh...yeah. End of the world? Again? ...Um, now's not a good t--"
Junior leaned back in the chair and rolled his eyes. "Yes I'm able-bodied. ...Yeees I'm an adult. ...Yeah, I'm a hero. Okay I get it, Bats. Look, it's just...I kind of have a family emergency here and--"
Sitting up abruptly, Junior's face went blank. "Don't say things you'll regret later, Tim. We'll be there in a few. Blue Beetle out." He tapped the communicator in his ear again and frowned thoughtfully for a moment before reaching over and pressing a button on a small box sitting on a nearby table.
"Muffin, Timmy called," he said cheerfully. "World's coming to an end."
"What, again?" Goldie's voice piped from the box. "I thought it did that last week, pookie."
"No, no, that was just a sign of the end of the world, cupcake," Junior corrected. "Final episode of The Simpsons, remember?"
Goldie sniffed sadly. "I'll miss it, dearest."
"Me too, lambchop. Anyway, Batman wants us to come over and play heroes."
"Is that like playing doctor, baby?" Goldie asked, entering the room again.
Junior hit another button on the box. "You'll have to ask him, dumpling. But I think he meant beating bad guys."
"The magic is gone, punkin," Goldie mourned.
"I..." Junior paused, an odd look on his face, then furrowed his brow in thought.
Goldie checked her watch.
Junior grimaced, tugging his hair with one hand and gesturing randomly with the other.
"Aaand time!" Goldie said.
"Gah no! Sweetiepie! Sweetiepie!" Junior buried his face in his hands and groaned.
"You know the rules," Goldie said smugly, tapping her watch. "One minute only."
"Your watch is fast," Junior accused.
"You set it."
"Oh come on!" Junior protested, looking up. "It was just a second!"
Goldie crossed her arms over her chest. "No way! Bad enough you used 'muffin' and 'cupcake' consecutively." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Speaking of. Food theme? You hungry?"
Putting a hand to his stomach, Junior said, "I could eat."
"Want to grab a burger on the way over?" Goldie asked, dropping a hand on his shoulder. "You know how Bug loves drive throughs."
"Yeah okay," Junior agreed, standing up. "Don't let me forget napkins this time, though. Last time I got ketchup on the suit the police thought I'd been stabbed and was being brave about it."
Goldie patted his arm and turned to leave. "I'll go change."
There was a moment of silence before Ted cleared his throat and said, "What the hell?"
Junior smiled sheepishly. "Uh, sorry, dad. Dads." He shrugged helplessly and reached for his goggles. "Gotta go be a hero."
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(WTF? Since when are you not allowed to use a question mark and exclamation mark together? Sentences can lose subtle meaning without one or the other. Very frustrating. Oh well, I've done my best to choose whichever is most appropriate. My apologies that you're not getting the original version.)