Previous stories in the series include Hairy Situations and Situational Hair, Midst of Rough Earthliness, Discordant Hormoney, Harmonious Discourse, and Legacies and Traditions. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)
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3rd Chapter
Dropping names like flies.
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In the three minutes it took Goldie to change into costume, Junior explained some of the functions of the communication box on the table and said it was keyed in so that they could keep an ear on what was going on. Goldie returned just as he was pointing out the portable TV on a shelf and told him to hustle his butt or she'd leave without him.
Goldie's costume was skin-tight and blindingly gold, the color only broken up occasionally by blue gloves, boots, belt, and a small blue star over her heart. It included some sort of mirrored visor and, as with Booster's costume, her hair was free on top.
It was beautifully tacky.
Shooting them another grin, Junior bounded after her, adjusting his cowl as he went.
Now Booster and Ted were listening in to the increasing chatter as Junior and Goldie approached the site of the disturbance.
A voice that Junior had identified as "Batman" suddenly said, "Blue Beetle, you take the Trickster."
"The Trickster? I thought he was dead!"
"What was it you told me? 'Gone means you find them, dead means you find a spell'?"
"I've noticed most people have a strange tendency to stay dead and--Hey! It's not even the same guy! Were you making a funny instead of a point, Batman? Knock it off lest I die of shock. And you're scaring the womenfolk. I think I saw Goldie trembling."
"It was your manly, macho testosterone power," Goldie spoke up dryly. "Made me weak at the knees."
"Would it help if I flounced a little while I'm kicking booty?" Junior asked. "And hey, shouldn't we be getting Flash for the Trickster? He's one of his, isn't he?"
"Flash is taking care of a tsunami," Batman replied.
"What about Robin?"
"You know Robin's with the Teen Titans, who are not getting involved in this fight."
"Sure whatever, but does Robin know anything about this guy? Excuse me for not wanting to throw down against a supervillain I know nothing about except that there may be another guy by the same name who's dead."
"...You're right. I apologize for dismissing your legitimate concerns. Piper reports that this new Trickster has an unknown form of propulsion in his shoes, and projectile weapons."
"...Yeah well...um...that's o--Holy cow! Holy--Why didn't you mention the zombies, Batman!"
"I--"
"I woulda brought my helmet, we'd be done before supper. I could've made 'em do a conga line! That's always fun, right?"
"Except for when they shake their groove thangs right off," Goldie said.
"That was one time," Junior protested. "And anyway, a little adhesive and it was good as new. Better, even!"
"Those aren't zombies."
"What? I can see the rotting flesh from here! I know what decomposing corpses smell like, and those smell like it to high heaven! I used to have a pet zombie. I know from zombies, Batman. Don't tell me those lurching figures down there aren't zombies!"
"Preach it, sister!" Goldie cheered wryly.
"Y--wait, what?"
"...Are you done?" Batman asked.
"Yeah I'm good."
"Sure?"
"Sorry, been a day. Please, continue."
"Thank you," Batman said dryly. "The smell and appearance are illusions. Those are actually ordinary people, they've just been brainwashed."
"...Zombies because of brainwashing still counts as zombies, Batman!"
"Fine, whatever. Trickster."
Glancing at each other, Ted and Booster grinned. Their boy was annoying Batman. There was just something very right about that.
"Yeah yeah, yeesh," Junior muttered. "I oughta write a paper or something. The academic research on the undead is woefully lacking. And biased towards vampires. I mean, who cares about vampires? They suck blood, big whoop. Zombies have variety, man!"
"Much less sexy, though," Goldie remarked thoughtfully.
"Necrophilia is necrophilia, and illegal in most states," Junior said primly.
"I'll tell you what's woefully lacking. It's how little recognition the undead get in the eyes of the law. Eat a little human flesh and suddenly you're an unholy perversion unto God. Let's have a little separation of church and state, here, people!"
"Hey, you know what would stop me worrying about how much sense that makes to me right now? Beating the bad guy."
"Ooh, yes let's."
"Sounds like our cue to check the news," Ted suggested, reaching up to switch on the small TV.
"Bonzai!" Junior shouted excitedly over the comm.
"--ooks like the team of Blue and Gold has joined the fight, with Blue Beetle jumping into the midst of this army of undead. Can we get a close-up?"
"Is it me, or are these zombies unusually happy?"
"Say again, Blue Beetle?" Batman said.
"Well they're--hngh!--smiling. Big smiles. Phaugh! What is that stench?"
"Zombies, Blue," Goldie pointed out. "Zombies stink."
"No, it's not zombie-stink," Junior argued, sounding thoughtful. "It smells like...heh...like..."
"--has released a cloud of unidentified gas," the TV reporter was saying.
"Joker gas!" Junior shouted, then snickered. "It smells like--ha!--Joker gas!" When he spoke again, his voice was muffled like he had something over his nose and mouth. "This is Blue Beetle to anyone! The Trickster has released Joker gas! Me and Gold can try to evacuate civilians, but we can't contain it. I need anyone who can safely dispose of nerve gas to get here like NOW!"
"--appear to be evacuating people in the area--"
"Is the filter working?" Goldie asked worriedly.
"Fine, I'm just a little giggley," Junior assured her, then snickered again. "Sorry, sorry. ...I repeat! This is Blue Beetle to anyone in the vicinity who can safely dispose of nerve gas! Hustle your buns over here like ten minutes ago! And get some anti-toxin, someone! These people are looking way too happy about being evacuated!"
"I think I can extend my forcefield a little," Goldie suggested. "That could buy us some time."
"If I've never told you you're brilliant before, it's because it's a given," Junior praised her. "Do it!"
"Need a hand?" a new voice spoke up.
"Joey!" Junior greeted in relief. "I've been happier to see you before, but not very. Can you do something about the--"
"Way ahead of you, pal," Joey replied cheerfully. "Just get those people to safety."
"On it!"
"And it looks like the Elemental has arrived in time to contain the g--We're getting reports it was Joker gas. Elemental is disposing of the Joker gas while team Blue and Gold evacuates the area. We go now to Milo Bloom who's--"
"It was the volcano, wasn't it?" Joey, the Elemental, asked.
"Eh?"
"When you've been happier to see me. That time with the Rainbow Raider, and the volcano..."
"Oh yeaaah." Junior laughed. "Yeah, I remember that. Wow. Who would've thought the Rainbow Raider could kick butt, huh?"
"Look out it's--!"
Something suddenly streaked across the TV screen to impact explosively against a building, sending it toppling over.
"Get out of the way, people!"
"Whoa! What was that? Milo, can you tell us--It's just fallen on Gold Star! The unidentified object has collapsed a building on Gold Star and...was it three? Three people--"
"Goldie!" Junior shouted in panic.
"Blue!" Batman cut in. "Civilians!"
"I can panic and do my job, thanks!" Junior snapped.
"Booster?" Ted whispered, staring at the screen in horror. "Could you survive something like that?"
"Can, have," Booster muttered, wrapping his arms around the man and resting his cheek against Ted's hair. "She's...She said she was my plucky young sidekick, right? So she's probably...Well she said she had a forcefield, at least."
Ted nodded silently.
"--see? Wait, it looks like...it looks like there's some movement from the rubble--Can you zoom in on that?"
On screen, the remains of the building did appear to be moving. Bricks and smaller chunks of concrete were trickling down the sides of larger piles and slabs in one localized spot. After a moment, a golden glow could be seen through the wreckage, and a moment later Goldie appeared, heaving a flat slab of concrete off her back.
"Goldie!"
"...givin' me a headache, Blue..." Goldie's weakly complained as her forcefield disappeared and she started helping some people out of the debris.
Junior just laughed, and on TV Ted and Booster could see him hopping over the rubble to join her in helping the people. They seemed shocky, but unharmed.
"They're okay! And what's this?"
Reaching into the debris once more, Goldie lifted out a puppy and flew out of the hole to stand next to Junior. To show its gratitude, the puppy enthusiastically licked her face, barking and wagging its tail.
"Ha, look at that little guy go. Looks like she's earned a gold star in his book, huh Milo?"
"I hate you."
"...What was that, Milo? I'm getting some static here."
"That's right, Tucker! A gold star. Ha."
"You did good, Goldie," Junior said affectionately, reaching over to pet the puppy in her arms.
"Think I pulled something," Goldie muttered.
"I'll rub your shoulders when we get home, babe."
"Ppftt! And there's dog spit dangerously close to my mouth."
Junior laughed. "Yeah, but puppies are very photogenic."
"Huh?"
Throwing an arm around her shoulders on screen, Junior grinned and waved from behind the smiling reporter. "Smile for the camera, Goldie."
"This is Tucker Gleeson reporting. Back to you, Jack."
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Ted and Booster stared at the TV as the image of a cheerfully waving Blue Beetle and a surprised Gold Star behind the vapidly smiling reporter was replaced with an image of another reporter in the news station's studio. In the background, they could still hear chatter from the communication box. The fight was winding down elsewhere, without photogenic puppies, and everyone was checking in.
"They won," Ted remarked.
"They're okay," Booster agreed, gently squeezing his arms around the man.
"You know...I always forget how hard it is to just...watch."
Booster sighed and buried his nose in Ted's hair, breathing deep. "Looks like we have a lot of watching to look forward to."
"Damn," Ted muttered, leaning against him. He reached up to wrap his arms around Booster's and they stood silently for a moment, letting the sounds of the TV and the comm wash over them.
Finally, Booster said, "They're good."
"Yep."
"Doesn't make it easier," Booster sighed.
"Nope."
A loud bark from the comm startled them and they started listening again.
"Blue, Gold, you're on cleanup," the Batman voice said.
"Look, normally I'd love to," Junior said. "But I gotta cut things short here, I've got a family emergency and--"
"Blue..." Batman sighed.
"So help me Eris, if you don't shut up I'm gonna stick a numbing dart in your butt," Junior snapped. "...I'll help with cleanup. Just... Blue Beetle out."
"Something's up with that," Ted said musingly.
Booster shrugged. "Maybe Batman's just being a dick."
"That doesn't explain the 'went missing' part, though," Ted argued. He frowned suddenly. "Booster?"
"Yeah?"
"If he's on some sort of crazy, obsessed quest to bring the future us back from the dead?"
"Um...yeah?"
"I'm blaming you."
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(For those wondering, Eris is the goddess of discord. She is the "matron deity of the modern Discordian religion," a "Chaos-based religion." Junior, as it happens, is a Discordian.)