Another instalment. xx
(from a stack of letters tied up with string in Fraulein Maria's carpetbag)
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Dear Fraulein,
Oh, you mean me? I am being unusually candid. I suppose you are right. There must be something about writing to someone halfway across the continent that makes even disgruntled sailors contemplative.
Yes, I remember the canals of the old city well, though my memory is not so good I can remember a little boarding school tucked amongst all the shops and homes. I'm glad you like your new home and feel you are well suited to living by the water. I seem to recall differently, unless tipping yourself into the water is one of your preferred pasttimes. I'm joking. Though I always did imagine you as more at home in the mountains.
I'm happy to hear you enjoy your work and the students. It sounds like you are doing far more than simply teaching them music, which seems to be a recurrent theme for you. Your description of "abundantly enthusiastic but very sweet girls" made me chuckle. It sounds like you fit right in. I do not appreciate the insinuation that your girls are better behaved at mealtimes than my lot.
Thank you for the stroopwaffles you sent. They were delicious. The children devoured them like vicious little piranhas (I seem to be conceding my point) before I could have more than one.
Yours in thought,
Captain von Trapp
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Dear Fraulein,
I did not mean for you to send another box of stroopwaffles, but thank you nonetheless. The children certainly had no interest in a parcel you labelled "confidential documents".
But was it strictly necessary for you to send my children a giant box of chocolate sprinkles? Just because you have discovered the Dutch take sprinkles on their morning bread (and not the majority of them, I guarantee), does not mean you need to pass on this particularly frivolous element of Dutch tradition.
Yours in revulsion,
Captain von Trapp
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Dearest Fraulein Maria,
I know you promised to write to us once you settled in Holland, but we didn't expect such a fat envelop with a letter for each of us! Gretl was so excited she ran around the entire house and showed all the staff how you had written, "dearest Gretl" especially on hers.
We all miss you terribly, but your letters make it feel like you are not so far away. Groningen sounds like such a strange little city – can you really get from one end of town to the other by rowing a boat? And they even have entire markets on boats along the canals? I should like to see it. I've never been out of Austria.
You know, Fraulein Maria, I was worried with Baroness Schraeder returned to the villa that father wouldn't pay us much attention anymore, but it hasn't been like that at all. He and Baroness Schraeder do go out sometimes, but father really has been trying to spend as much time with us as he can. It's strange, he has been agreeing to so many things I thought he would never allow. Our school is putting together a concert to raise money for the new Salzburg library and father is letting us sing! He lets us practice in the parlour after supper, unless Baroness Schraeder has guests, and then of course we practice in the nursery. The other day, he even let us have the chocolate sprinkles you sent us on buttered bread for breakfast!
This weekend he took us to the Salzburg fall fair for the first time. Baroness Schraeder didn't go. She said fairs were far too loud and wild for her and she was sure to step in manure. She said she hoped none of us would get lost. Father joked it was impossible for him to keep track of all of us, and he would have to tie the seven the us together like pack animals. Baroness Schraeder said it was a pity the countrified governess was no longer here to help, for she should surely fit right in. Father looked confused for a moment and did not answer, but I told her we would have had a grand time at the fair together. It was pretty loud and there were so many people, but father let us have cotton candy and gave us each money for the carnival games. Friedrich won a giant stuffed giraffe playing ring-toss – it's taller than Gretl! Louisa and Kurt won the three-legged race. Gretl and Marta liked the animals best. In the end, nobody got lost. We even found a stand selling schnitzel with noodle in little cardboard boxes, just like you described. Even father agreed it was delicious.
Love,
Liesl
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Dear Fraulein Maria,
Thank you for your letter and for the treats you sent. I should like to visit Groningen if only for the chocolate sprinkles. And you, of course! I am also curious about the raw herring, the wheels of cheese – can they really be as big as the wheels of father's car?! – and those pancakes you wrote about that are as thin as paper. Perhaps you can ask father to take us on a trip to visit you in Groningen?
Yours sincerely,
Kurt
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Dear Fraulein Maria,
I wish I was old enough to attend college! I should like to be accepted to the University of Groningen. Then I could live the tour you described – sleep in a dormitory and eat at the mess hall and bike to visit you on the weekends. Did one of your students really get accepted into their medicine program for next year? I thought your girls were all… well, girls. I don't know of any doctors who are women in Austria, but it's such a fascinating thought, isn't it? I told father at dinner last night I'd like to study medicine too. He said it was an excellent idea for an ambitious girl like me. Fredrich said it would never work because I never study. It's not my fault school is so boring and I hardly need to study. If it were interesting I'd study quite a bit more. Baroness Schraeder only looked scandalized. I'm sure she doesn't approve of women becoming doctors and I almost wanted to tell her I would study aviation electronics and be the first woman in space!
Oh Fraulein Maria, that really is such a problem. I wish I could tell you everything's straight sailing here, but I don't think that would be quite honest, and you're always saying we must always tell the truth. No matter what I do, it feels like I can never please Baroness Schraeder. I don't needle her on purpose – much – but it always puts her in a sulky mood, and it makes her and father bicker. Not the outright arguing he and Uncle Max do – when father and Baroness Schraeder are cross it's more of a very loud sort of silence and the way they look at each other. I do feel badly for it, Fraulein Maria. I don't mean to get under her skin, and I don't want father to be unhappy.
I don't know if there's anything you can do all the way in Groningen, but I'm glad I can still write you about it. It does make me feel better.
Sincerely,
Louisa
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Dear Fraulein Maria,
I knew you would understand. You always let me be who I am, even though I might not be ladylike enough, or when I'm too loud ("oh dear me, are your girls always so boisterous, Georg?"), or get into too much trouble. You might even be worse than I am, sometimes, and that's why I like you so much. Oh, don't misunderstand, I don't mean I like you getting into trouble (the way father used to glare at you!) or any of those things, but that you are so… you!
Baroness Schraeder brings up the idea of boarding school from time to time. Liesl and Brigitta hate the idea. I don't think I'd mind it too much, as long as my brothers and sisters were there, but I would miss father. Though I'm sure what the Baroness really thinks is I ought to be at finishing school.
Oh yes, I have been enjoying some things! I'm having great fun preparing for the concert. We're all going to sing together, and the teacher has allocated four slots in the programme for us. Friedrich and I have been making props in the woodshed. We cut the wood ourselves and screw it together, and the little girls paint it. Father hovers about nervously and I'm sure he thinks we're going to amputate a finger or something, even though we're just using handsaws.
I miss you very much and hope you write soon!
Sincerely,
Louisa
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Dearest Fraulein Maria,
I didn't want you to worry. Nothing is wrong, precisely, but it's true, it's sometimes hard to get things just right with Baroness Schraeder. I can tell she's trying, she asks after our days and offers to play games with us. I think she's just still not used to having children around. She does like to talk about going to school aboard – she herself went to one when she was a young girl! – but I know father would never send us away, now. I think it's one of the things they disagree on.
Please don't mention how Louisa is feeling to father when you write him. He really is doing his best, and so often now he gets that faraway, sad look in his eyes. I know he misses mother, and taking charge over the seven of us and preparing us for a new mother hasn't been easy for him, either. The only times we see that gleam in his eyes and his crooked smile is when he gets your letters (same as all of us!) I feel sure you can always cheer him up.
Love,
Liesl
PS. Getting mail from you is one of our favourite activities of the week. Thank you for the darling wooden shoes you sent for me! I did try them on around the house and boy, did they clomp! I am going to display them on the shelf in my room.
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Dear Fraulein,
I feel very blessed in my old age to have you feel the need to check in on me. How did you know my arthritic bones were flaring up? Ah, but I'd forgotten, you, too, suffer from rheumatism. (Incidentally, I will never forget the moment you sat on that ridiculous pinecone.)
I know too well that bone-chilling damp weather you're describing. It's typical of the North Atlantic coast at this time of year. Do stay away from the water, as the narrow canals channel wind and can become quite unsafe. I would suggest you stay indoors as often as you can, but knowing you, you could never manage it. Don't worry, it hits in waves.
We have been experiencing a cold draft here, too. The children are already anticipating the first snowfall. They want me to buy a felt hat for making a snowman and have already picked teams for hockey on the lake. I'm proud to say Captain Gretl picked her father first. But I balk at tobogganing. Surely my geriatric joints would never recover.
Have the children said something to make you worry? I get the sense you are fishing – subtlety has really never been your strong suit – but I can't exactly put my finger on what for. Did Fredrich inform you we went bicycling the other day when it was warmer and I may have pulled a muscle in my leg? Or was it Kurt mentioning that a particularly indulgent schnitzel cook made recently gave me a terrible case of indigestion? (It did not, but that was the day it rained heavily all weekend. The children were wreaking havoc and I desperately needed a quiet evening.)
Rest assured Fraulein, I am in good health and soldiering on every day. I hope you, too, are staying well and warm.
Yours in health,
Captain von Trapp
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Dear Fraulein,
Too cheerful?
I am not putting on an act, Fraulein. I have never put on an act in front of you. Unless you're suggesting I am also deceiving myself.
You would pick up on that. I used 'soldiering on' as a figure of speech. Perhaps I did at one time, but I no longer think of the villa as a battlefield, or a minefield. Unless you are fishing for compliments, I don't think I need to remind you what changed, or who changed it.
I suppose you might say there has been a certain heaviness lately. This time of the year is a difficult one, with the bleak weather certainly, but there is also the timing of Agathe's passing immediately followed by Christmas. I'm sure Liesl, and perhaps Friedrich and Louisa as well, are aware of it. I haven't spoken to them about it. I don't know what they've been doing to remember their mother all these days past. I know I should, and we'll all find some way to move forward so we can celebrate the holidays.
Fraulein, I am happy to be home with the children. They've helped and grounded me, there is no question about it. I am proud of them, and I am glad to be present. Of course I worry about them, and I suspect like every parent, I succumb to the usual uncertainties when it comes to raising children. Are they happy? Am I doing right by them? Here is Liesl changing into a woman and Friedrich becoming a man, and the rest of them growing up as we speak. Elsa means well, and the children's behaviour in public leaves little to be desired these days, but even still, I can't help feeling three steps behind in learning what each child needs. I've been listening to you Fraulein, and noticing more, but I have been quite humbled and I confess this is all rather unfamiliar territory.
There now, I've laid myself bare to you. I hope you don't think less of me.
Yours,
Captain von Trapp
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Dear Fraulein,
Thank you. More than you know.
CvT
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