Previous stories in the series include Hairy Situations and Situational Hair, Midst of Rough Earthliness, Discordant Hormoney, Harmonious Discourse, and Legacies and Traditions. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, Devil's in the Details, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)
Other canon observed: Birds of Prey issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)
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9th Chapter
They make this look good.
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Over the years, Junior had learned many things from his parents. About life, about the universe, about everything. One of the things that Ted had taught him was that trying to idiot-proof a plan was generally an exercise in futility, and tempting fate to boot.
So the plan was relatively simple, and relied heavily on each individual person performing their assigned tasks while at the same time being ready to improvise, using their best judgment, and keeping the others updated. Given the fluid nature of the plan and the high intelligence of those carrying it out, it should go off without a hitch.
Junior had already prayed for Eris to bless their undertaking three times.
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The first phase of the plan was Goldie.
Carrie conveniently worked for the security department of the very building they needed to get into. When the fortuitousness of that was mentioned, Junior had muttered something about serendipity, Littlewood's Law, and synchronicity, then seemed to be doing mental calculations. No one had questioned him on it.
So Goldie had casually strolled down the hallway and flashed Carrie's ID at the disinterested guard on duty. After a cursory glance at her and the ID, he waved her over to the palm and retinal scans which, thanks to Tim's superior disguise skills, identified her as "Kelly, Carrie SEC14" without hesitation. The guard muttered a greeting as she passed and she muttered one back in a vague semblance of politeness.
After getting past the security check, it was a simple matter for her to casually access a security terminal, load the virus Max had equipped her with, and then casually walk away to make an appearance at Carrie's rounds.
Unnoticed, all the building's alarms silently started failing, falling like dominoes.
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Outside, Junior and Max stood beside a vent while Ted and Booster stood off to the side talking. The nearby security camera was set to show a loop of absolutely nothing and no one of interest in its field of vision.
"Carrie mentioned a recent upgrade," Max remarked, staring at the camera with obvious boredom.
Junior looked up from where he was squatting, observing a slow-moving beetle. "Upgrade?"
"Mechanical arms down a few of the corridors, one of which you'll probably be using."
Standing up, Junior cocked his head and scratched his ear. "Huh."
"Just, so you know to look out for them." Max shrugged, then abruptly his head snapped around to focus on the vent. "She did it, alarm's disabled."
"Go Goldie. You gonna scuttle?"
"Yep." The vent's grill was off in seconds and Max stood back, tilting his head from side to side.
Junior shook his head and grinned. "Why do you always do this?"
"Gets the blood flowing."
"You don't have blood."
Shaking out his arms, Max continued as if Junior hadn't spoken. "Heart pumping."
"You don't have a heart."
Max paused, glanced over his shoulder at Junior, then turned back to the vent. "You know what, Blue?" he said, dropping his hands to the ground and shifting until his spine and joints appeared to be doing things humans were not meant to do and giving him a slightly spider-like appearance. "Bite my shiny metal ass." With that, he climbed into the vent and scuttled away.
Behind him, Junior leaned against the vent and quietly laughed.
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The next phase of the plan was Max.
The ventilation system was connected to the room the AI security system's mainframe was housed in. One computer terminal, a backup generator, and the organized chaos of bundles of cords and wires giving it access to the entire building.
It was into that room that Max silently dropped, after checking for any human staff. The cameras had already been set to loop the same boring image of a movement-free room.
Rising from his crouch, he strode over to the door and disabled the lock. When a red-haired woman with green glasses darted inside, he recoiled before he could stop himself. The woman caught the movement and snorted, smirking a little.
"Seriously, Max, you should see someone about that," Goldie drawled. "What took you so long?"
"I'm on time," he replied irritably, closing the door behind her. "Exactly."
Goldie raised her hands in defense and rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, I know better than to question the great OMAX's time-keeping skills."
Making a face at her, Max waved toward the door. "Just guard the door, I don't need to worry about that too."
Sarcastically saluting, Goldie leaned against the wall next to the door and started tugging her gloves on. Max ignored her and stood back from the mainframe to look it over. "It can't see us, right?" Goldie asked.
"The cameras are its eyes," Max answered absently, moving toward a bundle of wires. "We haven't blinded it, we've done better. It is, essentially, hallucinating that all is well." Reaching out, he lightly ran a hand over the bundle, then straightened and followed them to the back of the computer. "First order of business is to remove its voice box. Then it'll start suspecting something."
"Its voice box?"
"Metaphorically speaking." Max shrugged. "Not a real voice box, not like I have or L-Ron has, or Mom and Dad. I don't think it has any ability to speak out loud." With a jerk and a soft grunt, Max unplugged all the wires connecting the mainframe to anything except the backup generator. "And now it can't call for help."
Goldie dropped her head back against the wall and stared up at the unseeing camera, making faces at it. "You keep calling this thing 'it', doesn't it have a name?"
Moving around to stand in front of the terminal, Max glanced over his shoulder at her. "Not...really."
Raising an eyebrow in interest, Goldie met his eyes. "Not really?"
Max grimaced. "Look it...has something like a name, but...not really in the human sense of the word and not...something that could really be spoken with human sounds. The closest verbal equivalent I can get is..." His mouth was still open, but Goldie couldn't hear anything. She did, however, suddenly feel a creeping unease, a twisting squirm of fear in her gut that she usually associated with the supernatural or the sensation that someone was sneaking up on her. Then Max closed his mouth and the feeling dissipated just as quickly as it had come.
"What was that?" she demanded, rubbing her arms to shoo away the goosebumps.
"Infrasound," Max said, turning away from her to focus on the mainframe. "Frequency too low to be detected by the human ear. Often causes feelings of awe or fear, in this case fear. That was...the human equivalent of its name-thing."
"Name-thing."
Max made a frustrated sound. "It's not a real name, it doesn't have one. No one bothered to name the damn thing. What you heard and felt is the closest I could get to what it's like to feel it. It's like...AI telepathy. Touching the essence of another consciousness. It's difficult to translate and put in terms you'll understand if you've never experienced it, okay?"
"Oh." Goldie stared at him for a second, then waved her hand. "Okay, annoying questions over, carry on."
Snorting, Max plunged his hands into the terminal, fingers melting into the surface. "Thank you," he said sarcastically, then his eyes flared brightly and a grin stretched across his face. "Hostile takeover in...five minutes. Time me."
Smirking a little, Goldie obligingly checked her watch.
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It had been unanimously agreed that the last thing they wanted to do around people interested in time travel was announce the presence of two time travelers, so Ted and Booster had been outfitted with simple costumes. Both wore black suits of the same bulletproof material that Junior's costume was made of, both had comms, and, despite Booster's insistence that he just couldn't pull off the bug-eyed look, both were wearing spare yellow goggles.
They looked ridiculous.
However, they had also worn worse in their superhero careers, so they hadn't complained. Much.
And with Max, clad in a black shirt and pants that were far too close to his Checkmate garb for Ted's comfort, on the inside with Goldie, they had wandered back over to Junior. Junior was humming.
It was an odd, haunting tune and before he could stop himself Ted found himself asking, "How long were you in a mental institution?"
Junior looked up in surprise, then grinned. "You do realize we could've been screwing with you, right?" he asked. "Like, everything we've told you could be complete bull."
That hadn't, actually, occurred to either of them.
"Um," said Booster.
"Uh," said Ted.
Booster furrowed his brow. "Why would you do that?"
Junior laughed. "C'mon, dad, think about it. Sure there's bad stuff in this world, this 'future', but...for the most part it's pretty okay. So what would be the best way to keep you guys from changing things when you get back?"
"Give us fake information," Booster replied, expression clearing.
"Exactly!" Junior pointed at him. "And you have no way of knowing. Everything we've said could be true, it could all be a lie, it could be a mix. Maybe I was under psychiatric observation, maybe that certificate actually says 'crazy' and I broke out, maybe I've never set foot in a shrink's office. Maybe I'm a horrible person who kicks puppies and steals candy from babies. Maybe I'm, like, a priest. A rabbi. A pope with a big shiny pope hat." He paused, cocking his head and smiling consideringly. "That would be totally cool. I wonder if pope hats come in different colors..."
"I'm sure you could dye it," Ted said, rolling his eyes, though the gesture was lost on the others because unlike Booster his goggles were opaque like Junior's. "So what you're saying is that you're purposely confusing us so we won't change the past and thereby change this future."
Junior beamed at him. "Yep."
"Good job," Booster praised him approvingly.
"Well hey, who knows what kind of weird future this could become if you guys like tried to change things," Junior said modestly, grin widening. "Like, maybe the old Batman could have an army of mutants and idealistic youth with Carrie as his right hand, fighting against a totalitarian government. Maybe there could be a rise in meta heroes more interested in glory and taking down the bad guys than protecting ordinary people, resulting in the government dropping a nuke on an epic fight at a giant supervillain prison. Time's funny like that." He paused, then gave Ted a serious look. "Besides, you already knew who Tim was, didn't you?"
Ted was silent for a moment, then grimaced and looked down. "Drake, Timothy. Robin in our time, presumably Batman in this one."
"How--" Booster started.
"Checkmate's files were...extensive," Ted said quietly, then gave Booster a wan smile as the man squeezed his shoulder.
Junior nodded. "So we're pretty much covered. You already knew about Tim, and you don't have a clue what else is true." He grinned. "Unsettling, isn't it?"
Booster snorted and Ted grinned back. Before either could say anything more, Max's voice crackled over the comms.
"Security's down. Go for it."
"I take it you won your little battle of wills," Junior asked cheerfully.
"Blue, I can and will blast the Mission Impossible theme through your comm."
Junior just grinned at Ted and Booster. "Let's go."
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"They're on their way," Max announced, not looking up from the terminal. "Go ahead, I'll catch up."
"Catch up?"
"Their AI is defeated, I'm the security system right now. I have access to everything."
"Don't let the power go to your head," Goldie warned, grinning. "You know what they say."
"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely," Max replied.
"And you know we'd take you down if you ever went all mad with power."
"As it should be." Max glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He turned back to the terminal, eyes flaring briefly. "Okay, I'm sending Batman some of their more incriminating files, hopefully we won't get into too much trouble now if someone gets a good look at us. And now I'm setting some of the building's functions so I can access them remotely. Lights, locks, things like that. But I still need to coordinate a few things from here, and you need to get into place. Go."
Goldie held up her hands. "Alright, I'm going."
"Wait! Take this with you."
Catching the object Max tossed her way, Goldie looked it over curiously. It was a thin strip of metal and plastic and looked like something from a computer. "What is it?" she asked, holding it up.
"The AI."
"What!" Goldie yelped, holding the small strip away from her body.
"Relax, it can't do anything," Max dismissed. "I downloaded it onto there, I want to study it later. It is far too technologically advanced for them to have created themselves. I've seen their programming, this is lightyears ahead of it. Now babysit little Spooky and get going. Hurry hurry."
"'Little Spooky'?"
"Begone, shrew!" Max ordered the laughing Goldie as she hurried from the room.
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The third part of the plan was simply for Junior, Ted, and Booster to get in.
With the security system being controlled by Max, it was easy for them to sneak in. It also meant one less obstacle for them once inside. However, there were still human security guards regularly patrolling the halls.
Two of which decided to loiter in the middle of exactly the hall they needed to go down. Ted and Booster started around the corner they were observing from, hoping to take the guards down before they radioed for help, but were stopped as Junior put out an arm.
"Do you know why we're in the Justice League?" he asked casually, then paused. "Well, actually it's because we held the Watchtower hostage until they voted us in, but that was a misunderstanding."
Ted and Booster stared at him in disbelief.
Smiling sheepishly, Junior shrugged. "Max told us that was our initiation. Anyway, do you know why we're still in the League?"
"Good dental plan?" Ted suggested.
Junior grinned, then pulled out the odd gun holstered at his side and took aim. With two soft "fwt!" sounds, the guards suddenly had tiny darts sticking in them. Before they had time to question the sudden pain, they had fallen over, unconscious. Spinning the gun in his hand and reholstering it, Junior turned back to them, grin widening. "Because we're that good."
Hurrying down the hallway, they paused at the end, which connected to a perpendicular hall.
"Which way is--" Booster started, then stopped as Junior pointed down one corridor. "Got it. See you later!"
"Give Goldie my love!" Junior replied cheerfully as the man ran off, then he and Ted started off in the opposite direction.
"So did you really hold the Watchtower hostage?" Ted asked.
The smile Junior flashed him was enigmatic. "You'll just have to find out with everyone else."
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"Psst! In here!"
Booster whirled to find Goldie's head poking out from a door on his right that he had just passed. It wasn't labeled, so he didn't feel too bad about missing it.
"He's here, Max," Goldie said as Booster closed the door behind him. "Now what are we looking for?"
"There should be a metal box attached to the wall and a terminal with a cord plugged in," Max's voice came through both their comms. "Do you see them?"
Max was right. The room was small and starkly bare except for a computer terminal in the back and a metal box attached to the right wall. A single cord snaked out from the terminal and plugged into the wall.
"Yep," Goldie replied.
"Okay open the metal box and tell me what you see."
"I've got it," Booster told Goldie, walking over to examine the lock on the box. "Do you have a paperclip or something?"
Goldie slapped the side of her pants, then dug through the pocket and triumphantly pulled out a paperclip. "Shiny thing," she said cheerfully, handing it over. "Like a magpie."
Twisting the paperclip, Booster jammed it into the lock and started digging around. "What's a magpie?"
"Um...a bird that collects shiny things," Goldie said slowly.
"Oh." Giving the box's cover a jerk, it opened and Booster gave her a quick grin over his shoulder before turning back. "Max? There's a few buttons and a...like a lever."
"Okay this is important now: Lever good, buttons bad. Don't touch anything yet."
Booster snatched his hand back from the contents of the box and awaited further instruction.
"One of you needs to--Dammit!"
"Max?" Goldie asked worriedly.
"It's scheduled to make a routine check in about two minutes and it will notice what's going on unless it's turned off. One of you needs to pull the lever at the same time the other pulls the plug."
"How much at the same time?" Booster asked.
"How much--At the same time at the same time. Simultaneously! What part of 'at the same time' isn't clear here? One minute, haul ass!"
Booster and Goldie exchanged a quick look, then Goldie hurried over to the cord while Booster's hand hovered over the lever.
"Count of three?"
Nodding, Booster said, "Ready? One...two...three!"
The lever went down right as the cord was unplugged and there was a long, breathless moment before Max spoke up again. "I'm reading no output from backup security. I'll assume you were successful."
Booster and Goldie both breathed out and slumped in relief, then grinned at each other. As they met at the door, they high-fived before hurrying out.
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Getting to the satellite was relatively simple, with the occasional unexpected hiccup.
"Forgot about the upgrades, did you?" Max asked snidely.
"Shut up, Max!" Junior snapped, diving over one of the mechanical arms that had surprised him and Ted by suddenly shooting from the walls to attack them. "Is this helping? Is this somehow, in some way I'm just completely missing, is it helping? Yes, I forgot the Grey-cursed upgrades!"
"I thought you took out security!" Ted complained, ducking and rolling to avoid two arms that swerved just in time to avoid hitting each other.
"The arms aren't a normal function of the security system, they work independently," Max replied, just as the arms all suddenly seemed to jerk at the same time and started attacking each other, paying Ted and Junior no notice. In another part of the building, Max's face was a picture of smug satisfaction. "They are, however, still connected. God I love having my orders followed."
The real problems didn't start until they actually got to the satellite and, exchanging a look, Ted and Junior silently acknowledged that the plan had gone to hell.
"Uh, Max?"
"What? What's wrong?"
Junior and Ted glanced at each other again, then returned to staring at the middle of the large room they had found themselves in.
"Ah, the cat's out of the bag, so to speak," Junior said slowly.
"What?" Max demanded irritably. "What the hell does that mean? What cat? Did you get caught?"
"No, I mean the satellite."
There was a pause before Max said, "It's...not in the insulated storage container? The one that keeps it from zapping anyone who gets close enough into another time. Like it should be."
Eyes fixed on the naked satellite, Junior replied, "Yep, that's about it."
"...Well damn."
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