She doesn't consider herself a heartbreaker. Sure, she dates a lot of guys and her relationships never last long and she's always the first to leave, but that doesn't mean anything. Frankly, she's pretty sure she's just saving those guys the trouble of actually being in a serious relationship with her.

But she can't really help what everyone else says.

Either way, she's used to the rumors by now. They used to bother her, but by senior year she stopped caring. And besides, she's not the only one with a reputation.

Austin Moon might have even more of a reputation than she does. He's a serial dater just like her, but apparently he's such a good boyfriend that all of his girlfriends really are heartbroken when he inevitably breaks up with them. Ally, on the other hand, is pretty reserved in a relationship. She keeps her feelings close to her chest and her affection even closer. So when she breaks up with guys, they usually see it coming. She isn't sure if that makes it hurt any less, but at least it doesn't come out of nowhere.

She's never been all that close to Austin, but she's known him forever and he's fun to party with, plus the two of them are by far the best beer pong team at the school. So it isn't all that weird when he approaches her at his annual back-to-school pool party. He sits next to her at the edge of the pool, dangling his legs in the water.

"We were on fire back there," he says with a grin, referring to the game of beer pong they just played in which they absolutely demolished Trish and Dez. He holds up his hand for a high-five, and she obliges with a small smile of her own.

"Hell yeah, we were."

He tilts his head. "Hey, you okay?" he asks, nudging her gently with his shoulder.

She nods. "It's just exhausting being the best."

"You sure? I heard you and Gavin broke up."

"That was like two weeks ago," she says, looking over at him. "Trust me, I'm fine. But what about you? Didn't you just dump Kira?"

He frowns a little. "Yeah, right before school started. I feel really bad. I didn't think she'd take it so hard."

"Pretty sure everyone does. Getting dumped doesn't feel great."

He snorts. "Like you'd know. You're just as bad as I am."

"I dunno, I feel like you leave more emotional damage."

"I've heard you're ruthless. Nothing but tears and broken hearts in your wake."

She rolls her eyes. "You're one to talk."

He grins. "I'm just teasing you." Then he nudges her again. "Hey, why do you think we've never gone out?"

She starts giggling at the thought of them trying to date. But then she sees his face, and she stops. "Wait, you're serious?" He shrugs and nods. "Because it would be doomed from the start."

"What do you mean?"

"Austin, we were just talking about how much we suck at relationships."

He raises his eyebrows and leans back on his hands. "If you think about it, we're perfect for each other."

She looks at him incredulously. "How much have you had to drink today?"

He laughs a little. "I'm serious!"

"Then you're completely out of your mind."

"Oh my god," he says, rolling his eyes with that easy smile still on his face. And right about now she wishes he wasn't shirtless and she wishes his hair wasn't all fluffy in the way she's always sort of thought was cute and she wishes the sun wasn't hitting him at just the right angle to make him look like he's glowing. "So if I asked you out right now, you'd say no?"

Now she raises her eyebrows. "Are you asking me out right now?"

She doesn't like the glint in his eyes. "Maybe." Then he sits up and leans his face close to hers—so close she can see his pupils dilate just slightly. "Why? You scared?"

She narrows her eyes, but she doesn't lean away from him. "So I'll take that as a no."

"Ally. I want to take you on a date."

She isn't sure why she agrees, but somehow she finds herself at a mini golfing course with him the next Friday night.

"By the way, you look really pretty," he says casually as he hands her a club and a purple golf ball. "I mean, you always look pretty, but, y'know, I thought I'd tell you. Since we're on a date."

She laughs a little, the weird, awkward and confused tension in her chest dissipating. "Thanks," she says. They step up to the first hole, and she sets her ball down to aim.

"You know, I read somewhere that if you get the ball between the hippo's two front feet, it's, like, a guaranteed hole in one," he offers.

As if she's never played mini golf before.

She gets the hole in one, and she finds herself grinning as she looks back at him.

"Damn," he says. "Add mini golf to the list of things you're unexpectedly good at."

"Unexpectedly?" she says as they switch places.

"I feel like it's unexpected if anyone is good at mini golf. You could be a world champion at regular golf, and I'd still be surprised if you were good at mini golf." He hits his ball, and it bounces off one of the hippo's front feet, hits the side of the course, and then somehow still manages to get in the hole. "Did you just see that?!" he laughs, his face all lit up.

She laughs too. "Looks like you're not so bad yourself."

As they walk to the next hole, she glances over at him. "Hey, if you don't mind me asking…why did you wanna go out with me? I mean, especially with my track record."

He shrugs, and she only now realizes that his resting face is a small smile. "I've always kinda had a thing for you," he says. "And we're rarely ever single at the same time, so I figured if I was ever gonna take my chance I should do it now. Plus, if it doesn't work out, I figure maybe neither of us will get hurt. It's a win-win."

That takes her off guard, and she misses her first shot. "Really?"

He looks over at her. "And we really are kinda perfect for each other. When I was talking to Trish and Dez about if I should ask you out or not, they said the same thing. Unprompted."

Now she meets his eyes. "So you, like, planned to ask me out. It wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment thing 'cause you were tipsy and I looked hot at the party?"

He knits his eyebrows together. "Of course I did. I never ask people out based on impulse. I'm bad enough with relationships as it is; I wanna be sure about it going in. And I told you, I've liked you on and off since, like, the third grade." He misses his first shot as well, then glances back at her. "Although you did look very hot at that party." He pauses, tilting his head and closing one eye as he aims his golf club. "So, why'd you say yes?"

"Well, mine's gonna sound bad."

He laughs a little. "I can take it." He misses his second shot, then makes his third.

"I mean, I just kinda figured why not. And you were all hot and shirtless and fluffy-haired and very close to me."

He grins. "Well, I'm glad you said yes. Especially because now, I can teach you how to play mini golf the right way." He steps up behind her when they get to the next hole. "May I?"

She laughs and finds herself nodding with only a slight hesitation. "Why would I wanna learn from you?" she giggles, even as he wraps his arms around her and places his hands over hers on the golf club. "You're losing."

"Shh, semantics," he says, and she can hear the smile in his voice as he guides her hands to swing the club and hit the ball, only for it to miss by a long shot.

"See?" she says, turning her face towards his while he does the same. Their noses are almost touching, and that glint is in his eyes again.

"Maybe I was actually sabotaging you," he says.

She snorts. "I think you just wanted to put your arms around me. Oldest trick in the book."

He grins and releases her. "Old doesn't mean bad. I think it works like a charm."

"Uh-huh," she says sarcastically, narrowing her eyes even though the smile hasn't left her face. "It's your turn, Casanova."

The rest of the date goes really well. Like, weirdly well. As she replays the night in her head when she gets home, she keeps coming back to how unexpectedly comfortable she felt around him. First dates are notoriously awkward, but being with Austin just felt natural.

It's a little concerning, and she already feels a slight urge to end it in the back of her mind. But for the first time, she ignores it, and when he texts her the next day about a second date, she agrees.

She realizes a little too quickly that she really likes spending time with him. They never really hung out besides at parties, and he's actually really fun to be around. He starts hanging around her locker more and sitting across from her at their lunch table, and he grins like a kid on Christmas every time he makes her laugh.

She'd be lying if she said she doesn't like him. And frankly, she's getting a little annoyed at the fact that he hasn't kissed her yet.

He takes her laser tagging for their third date, and she wasn't expecting to have such a good time. She even tells him as much when they pause behind an artificial wall while the other teams chase each other on the other side of the dark room.

"I don't know if I should be offended or flattered," he laughs, his teeth glowing under the blacklights in the room.

She smiles. "I'm having more fun than I've had in a while. It's a compliment!"

"Well, then thank you. I'm glad you're having a good time. I am pretty awesome at planning dates."

She rolls her eyes and shoots him with her laser gun, and then giggles as his vest vibrates.

"That was rude," he says. "We're a team! You have to let me shoot you back."

She grins. "Not a chance," she says, darting away from him.

She hears his laugh as he runs after her, and she sprints up the stairs to the second level of the room. Then she immediately hides behind a wall, circling back down the stairs as soon as he passes her hiding spot.

She finds a nice little corner to catch her breath while he keeps looking for her, but then all of a sudden he appears from a different hiding spot and grabs her free hand before she can run away. And when she starts laughing, his smile gets bigger and he pushes her against the wall, intertwining their fingers and pinning her hand next to her head.

"You can't shoot me from this close," she says breathlessly, and not just from the running. She's pretty sure he can see right through her, judging from the ridiculous grin on her face and the way he just steps closer, pressing his body against hers.

"I have no intention of shooting you," he says quietly. And then he kisses her.

It's a little awkward, especially with the bulky vests and laser guns hanging loosely in their hands and the sound of screaming kids and deafening music in the background. But it's soft and sweet and good, and when she sees the smile on his face after they pull away, she giggles a little. Then she grabs the front of his vest and pulls him back in, leaving her laser gun dangling from the cord attached to her vest to wrap both arms around his neck.

Before they can get too into it, though, the lights come on to signal the end of the game. They pull apart grinning, and his pink cheeks are about the sweetest thing she's ever seen.

He takes her to get ice cream, and then on the drive home he starts the inevitable conversation. "So…Can I ask how come your past relationships have always ended so quickly?" She opens her mouth, but he keeps going. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," he says quickly. "I just…" He reaches over the console and takes her hand, glancing over at her. "I like you."

She swallows. Guys have asked her before, but it's always seemed to be out of a weird curiosity to settle the rumors rather than actually wanting to know. But Austin seems genuine, and her heart flutters when he says he likes her. Besides, he's known her basically her whole life. He already knows most of her story just because he's known her for so long.

"Well…you remember how my parents got divorced in sixth grade?" Austin nods. "They were so in love, you know? It was really hard, and it kinda…well, turned me off to the whole love thing."

"People fall out of love sometimes. Isn't it still worth a try?"

"My parents didn't fall out of love, that's the thing. They loved each other, more than anything. They still do. But sometimes love alone isn't enough, and…and I just never want to get to that point." She shrugs. "It's selfish, I know."

Austin stops in front of her house and looks over at her, intertwining their fingers. "I don't think it's selfish."

"It's just…you spend your whole childhood watching movies and reading stories about true love, how love can conquer anything and once you find your true love and you're willing to work for the relationship, everything will be happily ever after. And that was my parents, you know? I know I was a kid then, but even seeing how they look at each other now and hearing how they talk about each other…they love each other. But loving each other wasn't enough to keep them together, and if love isn't enough, then what's the point?"

He squeezes her hand, and she purses her lips, looking up when she realizes she has tears in her eyes. She will not cry over this. Not now, so many years later, and not in front of Austin, especially after they had such a good time tonight. But he rubs his thumb gently over the back of her hand and she feels a tear escape and roll down her cheek.

"Thank you for telling me," he says softly. "I knew about the divorce, but I didn't realize—I can't imagine having to come to terms with something like that so young."

She looks at him. "Please don't tell anyone."

He shakes his head. "I won't."

She sniffles and nods, and then she slowly pulls her hand out of his. "So, what about you?" she asks.

He smiles sheepishly. "Mine's kinda dumb. It isn't some childhood trauma or anything like that. I'm just looking for a connection that I haven't felt yet. I don't know exactly what it is, but…I think I'll know it when I feel it. I sound crazy, right?"

She smiles a little and shakes her head. "You sound like a romantic."

"Those two aren't mutually exclusive."

Her smile grows, and he wipes the spare tear off her cheek with his thumb. "I should go," she says quietly.

He sighs a little and nods, brushing his thumb over her cheek one more time. "Yeah, probably." Then he unbuckles his seatbelt. "C'mon, I'll walk you up."

When they get to her front door, he takes both of her hands. "There's actually one more thing I wanted to talk to you about," he says, and her heart pounds, but not in the good way. "I've really liked spending time with you these past few weeks. You're smart and beautiful and funny and you're so easy to be around I keep forgetting that this is only our third date." She can feel a but coming along, and she doesn't like it. "So, would you be my girlfriend?"

It takes her a moment to register what he said. She was really expecting that to go differently, and her heart drops into her stomach with the anticipation of him saying something bad. So when he says that, she inhales sharply and her eyes go wide.

"After everything I just told you?" she asks, her voice a little higher than usual.

"I know it's a risk," he says, squeezing her hands. "And I know it's not exactly promising that I told you I'm looking for some feeling that I don't even know yet. But I really like you, and I feel like we have something, you know?"

Wait. He thinks she's worried about his track record?

"You—you really want me to be your girlfriend, even though the possibility of falling in love triggers my fight or flight?"

He laughs a little. "It's only our third date, Ally. We can cross that bridge when we get to it. That is, if you say yes…?"

She searches his face. Again, a tiny voice in the back of her head tells her to end it. If she says no, she'll probably avoid a whole world of pain. But his soft, encouraging eyes warm her from head to toe. She exhales the breath she was holding and smiles a little before nodding.

"Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

He grins and kisses her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She drapes her arms around his neck and kisses him back, her eyes fluttering closed. Then she pulls away just slightly. "Wait. I never asked if you'd be my boyfriend," she says, and his chuckle tickles her lips.

"Oh, well, sure," he says, and her smile grows when she hears the grin in his voice.

"Okay." She kisses him again softly, and then she has to force herself to pull away before she gets lost in him. "Goodnight," she says, biting back her grin.

He doesn't try to hide his own grin, backing away from her slowly and shoving his hands in his pockets. "Goodnight, Ally."

When they tell their friends they're official, Trish actually laughs.

"You're kidding, right?" she asks. Ally gives her a hard look, but she maintains her smile. "Oh, you're not kidding. Well, congrats!"

But later, when she and Trish are hanging out after school, Trish brings it back up. "You and Austin. Really?"

Ally nods. "Yeah, really. I like him, Trish."

"Okay, but neither of you have ever been in a relationship longer than a few months. And neither of you have ever been dumped, either. You see how this looks, don't you?"

"Like a disaster waiting to happen," Ally says. "But it'll be fun while it lasts."

"Ally, this is different from all your other relationships and you know it. One of you is going to get hurt. Probably both of you, honestly."

"I'm not going to get hurt," she says. "I appreciate you, but I know what I'm doing. And we aren't even that serious."

"Yet."

Ally doesn't argue for the sake of their friendship and her peace of mind. And she doesn't tell Austin until a few weeks later. They're snuggling in his bed, her head nestled between his shoulder and his chest, and he's playing with her hair. She's actually dozing off a little, but then he asks her about it.

"Trish has been acting weird ever since we told her we're together," he says casually. "She say anything to you?"

She drapes her arm over his stomach. "It doesn't matter."

"It kinda does to me," he says. "Trish is your best friend. I want her to be supportive of our relationship."

"Who cares what she thinks?"

"You do. Which means that I do. What'd she say?"

Ally sighs. "Basically that we're doomed. What you think makes us perfect for each other, she thinks is a recipe for disaster. She thinks we're both gonna end up hurt."

"I mean, I get it." She feels him shift, and she looks up at him to see he's already looking at her. "But I think she's wrong."

Ally smiles a little. "Me too."

He kisses her, pressing his palm to the back of her head. Then he sits up a little, leaning over her until she's on her back before climbing on top of her. He pulls away a little, and she opens her eyes to meet his. He smiles softly and bumps his nose against hers, brushing his lips against hers and then pulling back again teasingly.

She pulls him back down to her, running her fingers through his hair and smiling a little at the soft, content sound he makes. Something with him is different, and she knows it. She can feel it in the way he kisses her, without any urgency or ulterior motive—he's just savoring it, savoring her, like he's been waiting for this his whole life. And maybe he has.

She can feel it in the way she kisses him, too. Because unlike with any of her exes, when she kisses him she can't think about anything else. Her mind used to wander with past boyfriends, but with Austin her mind floods with images of him. She's acutely aware of his every breath, every sound, every move, and she can't get enough of him. It's a little overwhelming, and she isn't sure if she'll ever get used to it.

He pulls away and presses soft kisses along her jawline. She tightens her arms around his neck and he takes the hint, kissing her harder.

"It's hard to make out when you're grinning all the time," she teases him, and she feels his smile grow against her skin when he stops under her jaw.

"Shut up," he mutters.

"I'm just saying," she giggles, tilting her head back a little more. "I love your smile, but it's a bit of a mood killer when you're kissing me with your teeth instead of your lips."

He snorts and sits back on his knees, laughing and coughing simultaneously. "I do not do that," he says before falling into another set of coughing and giggles.

She grins up at him. "You do. But it's okay."

"You know what, just for that, I'm gonna give you a hickey somewhere you can't hide it from your dad, and then he's gonna see it and give you a super embarrassing sex talk."

She narrows her eyes. "Don't you dare."

Once he's recovered, he leans down and hovers over her again, that smile still on his face. "Don't test me, or I'll do it."

She brushes his bangs out of his face and rests her hand on his cheek. He turns his head to kiss her palm before looking at her again and leaning into her touch.

She can tell things are different with him in the way he looks at her, too. He knows her deepest secret, the reason why she gets scared off in relationships, and he still wants to be with her. Not only that, but he never looked at her with any kind of pity or hesitation. His eyes have always just been full of acceptance and hope and promise.

"What?" he asks softly. "Getting lost in my eyes?"

She smiles. "Something like that. You're really not worried about what Trish said?"

He shakes his head. "I told you, we have something. And if for some reason, down the line, we end up breaking up, it will have been worth it. You, Ally Dawson, have full permission to break my heart."

She frowns a little. "I don't wanna break your heart."

Now he smiles, leaning down to press another kiss to her lips. "Then don't."

i didn't quite finish this in time for a&a day but. y'know. failing 2 classes means writing is actually Procrastination and i procrastinated my procrastinating. but i appreciate all the well wishes on my last post and i got put on some new meds so hopefully they will help me. also winter break is literally a week away so hopefully i'll get a Brain Break and also have time to write the 4 one shots currently in my head right now.

anyway happy 10 years of a&a that cast still has me in a chokehold and i'm glad you're all right there with me. no but seriously whether you've been reading my fics since i joined this hellsite in 2013 or just binge watched the entire show on disney plus and happened upon my little corner of ff dot net, i seriously appreciate every last one of you so so so much. austin & ally helped me discover how much i love writing and it gave me a safe space to bring the stories i used to keep locked in my brain to life.

thank you for being so kind to me and for indulging my dreams a little bit by actually reading the things i write. thank you for giving me a safe place to practice my writing and grow and improve and become a better writer. thank you for helping me give purpose to doing the thing that i love by reading and reviewing even after all these years. thank you for allowing me to vent and for validating me when i channeled my creative energy into processing shitty things i go through by romanticizing the hell out of them with my comfort characters. thank you for giving me confidence in my writing that i never had before. thank you for all the friendships and memories i've made. thank you for supporting me through middle school and high school and college, through all my growing pains, especially as i've tried to figure out who i am as a person and a writer. thank you for dealing with my typos and years-long update hiatuses and all my plotless indulgences. thank you for making me feel like my writing and the hard work i put into it is actually worth something.

thank you, every single one of you, for every read, every favorite, every review, and every minute of your time that you decided to spend reading the things i write-it's because of you that i'm still here, almost 9 years and 82 stories later, writing fanfiction about this decade-old disney show. thank you for growing up with me, and for allowing me to grow up with you. thank you, thank you, thank you. for everything. seriously. i may write, but all of you rock. together, we might just make it :')

(this is not a goodbye, the show's 10th anniversary just has me all sappy)

i love each and every one of you more than i think you'll ever know.