Author's Note: I do not own these characters or some of the dialog taken from the episode Dirty Blondes.
Chapter 12
Before anyone one knew it the weekend had flown by at it was Monday all over again.
Lizzie sat in her boring English class studying Beowulf but mostly thinking about Chris. She had been walking around for the past few days with a dopey smile on her face. She had even ignored Kate that morning when she had been called a twat.
Lizzie gazed out of the window as her teacher Mr. Fitzpatrick droned on and on in his monotone.
She made it though the class period with out taking a single relevant note and then she headed for study hall, which was in the library. Few students were given the privilege to look after the library when the librarian Ms. Browne went on her free period, and Lizzie was one of them.
She smirked at the thought of sitting at that huge mahogany desk in the vast library. It was a very coveted position.
She was the first to arrive; she took her place behind the huge desk and counter seating her self on a tall stool opposite one of the school's main computers. Lizzie wasn't a computer whiz or anything.
She was going to IM Gordo while he was in his typing class. They had come to an understanding the other day, Lizzie didn't expect for it to come so easy. Chris must have had some hell of a talk with Gordo.
Lizzie smiled at a group of freshman who came in for some books. She checked their hall pass and stamped it and they went looking for some books.
She was waiting for a reply from Gordo when she heard the jingle.
She whirled around leaping off of the stool to face her boyfriend.
"Chris! What are you doing? You do know that this is not Hogwart's?" she asked.
"I had to see you. I think something is wrong with the sisters." Chris said.
"More than what's usually wrong with them?" Lizzie asked.
"I'd have to say so. Paige was hitting on me and she called me 'Angel' and they sent me to the astral plane looking for places that make athames." Chris said.
"I thought the astral plane was a realm of spirit and engery." Lizzie said.
"So you do pay attention during my lectures." Chris smirked.
"What do you think we're dealing with here? Demonic possession? Alien mind control?" Lizzie asked.
Chris laughed.
"Most likely it's a spell gone wrong nothing really to worry about it was just weird. I've gotta go find an athame manufacturer in the astral plane. Later babe." He kissed her on the cheek and orbed away seconds before the freshmen returned with their books.
Lizzie sighed, she guessed that was the downside of having a boyfriend who could orb in on her whenever he wanted.
Later that evening when Lizzie was studying with Miranda and Gordo, in her room.
"If x equals y, why doesn't y equal x?" Gordo asked.
"Math is hard." Lizzie said laying her head on her arms.
Lizzie heard the jingle of orbs in the hallway and she quickly got off her bed to investigate.
"Lizzie!" a woman with reddish blond hair shouted.
"Have we met? Are you a demon?"
"I am not a demon, I'm Paige I'm a Charmed One." She pointed out.
"Ummm… no you're not the Charmed Ones are blonde, everyone knows that." Lizzie said.
"I am Paige! Okay I do not have time for this. Some imposters have stolen our identities as well as our powers, and we need you and Chris to help us get them back. We can prove that we're legit just get Chris to the Manor at nine o'clock." the woman who claimed to be Paige said orbing away.
Lizzie considered this for a moment. The woman had orbed, and Paige was a Witchlighter. Could she be telling the truth? Had some blonde imposters really stolen the Charmed Ones identities? Perhaps there were some Blonde Ones at the Manor pretending to be the Charmed Ones. It would certainly explain why they were acting weird with Chris.
Lizzie fumed at the thought of some skeezy Blond One macking on her boyfriend.
Lizzie stomped back into her bedroom ignoring the looks her friends were giving her and she went into the bathroom she shared with Matt. She locked both doors and called for her Whitelighter.
"Chris!"
Chris heard Lizzie calling and left the back room of P3 and orbed over to his girlfriend.
"Okay I think you were right something is wrong with the sisters. A woman who claimed to be Paige orbed in telling me about some blonde women who stole their identities. And I think she's telling the truth. So you've got to–"
"Lizzie slow down tell me one thing at a time." Chris told her.
"Okay well, this chick orbed in the hallway while I was studying with the guys. She told me that some blonde women stole their identities and their powers and are impersonating them," Lizzie explained.
"Okay."
"We need to go to the Manor at nine to find out who's telling the truth. I kind of believed that chick though. She did orb and I also wanna have a talk with them about hitting on you." Lizzie said.
Chris laughed, Lizzie being possessive was funny to him.
"Alright." Chris said.
"It's close to nine already I'm gonna have to get rid of Miranda and Gordo." Lizzie said.
"I can handle this." Chris said walking over to the bathroom door and opened it.
"Hey guys." he greeted.
"Where did you come from?" Gordo asked.
"Well one night my parents got drunk and had sex–" Chris told him.
"I didn't mean that," Gordo said.
"Oh I came in through Matt's room. I wanted to see my girl." Chris said.
Gordo rolled his eyes, "Well, my mom is expecting me soon."
"Yeah and I am his ride so we'd better be going. And don't do anything I wouldn't do." Miranda said smirking as she put away her books.
"Laters guys!" Lizzie chirped.
"Okay we need to get going," Chris said pulling Lizzie into the bathroom and orbing them away as soon as Miranda and Gordo had left.
They orbed into the conservatory where six women were standing having a heated argument three of them were the blonde Charmed Ones and the other three he didn't recognize.
"Chris you're here! Those witches stole–" a brunette with short hair shrieked at him.
"Wait a minute slow down lady. Who are you?" Chris asked.
"These are the witches who killed that guy across the street." Blonde Piper accused.
Both Chris and Lizzie looked over at the three blond witches.
"No, Chris, she's lying. Remember this morning when you said something was gonna happen to the book? Well, this is it. It's happening now." The witch with the long brown hair said.
Chris thought for a minute.
"Ugh, enough of this. Piper, blast them." Blonde Phoebe said.
Chris stepped in between the six women dragging Lizzie with him as he eye the three other women curiously.
"How do you know what I said to Piper?" Chris asked.
"She IS Piper and I'm Paige and this is Phoebe. Those skanks cast an identity spell and made the whole world think they're us." The woman with the reddish blond hair said.
"Everyone knows the Charmed Ones are blonde." Blonde Paige said and her sisters nodded.
Chris ignored them.
"Is she the one who told you to find me?" Chris asked Lizzie.
"Yeah. I think she might be telling the truth." Lizzie said.
"If you're really Piper show me your powers come on hit me with your best shot," Blonde Piper said cockily.
"I can't you stole them," The woman with the long brown hair said almost as if she hated to admit it.
He was starting to believe them too. Never in his life had he ever seen them wear outfits that were as skanky as what the Blonde Ones were wearing. He doubted Paige would have asked him to kiss her. Phoebe however, he wouldn't put it past her to flirt so openly. He still needed some more proof before he did anything.
He suppressed a smirk. He may have found a way to get the girls their lives back but they were sure gonna owe him; it was their own fault for not listening to him anyway.
"Okay, so we stole your identities and your powers. Wow, we must be good. Definitely worth more than a paragraph." Blonde Piper said.
"Oh yeah." Blonde Paige agreed.
"It's time to take care of you witches and your delusions," Blonde Piper said.
"Wait!" Lizzie shrieked.
Chris looked at his girlfriend.
"She can still orb. I saw her," Lizzie said.
"Okay prove it," Chris told her.
"Okay." The woman with the reddish blonde hair said before concentrating hard and preparing to orb.
But nothing happened. Chris heard Blonde Paige tell her sisters, "What do you think of my anti orb spell?"
Chris stepped out of the way, "Okay Piper hit 'em."
Chris knew full well that Blonde Piper couldn't touch them.
"Chris what are you doing!" Lizzie shrieked.
Blonde Piper raised a hand aiming at the other three women, and missed terribly blowing up half the stuff in the room but not the three witches in front of her.
"Shh…I know what I'm doing. I need you to trust me on this, in order to get them their powers back I might have to do some things. This all to keep the real Charmed Ones alive and protect the future. I hope you'll remember that and not knee me okay."
"Chris a little help here!" One of the witches shrieked ducking falling plants.
"What do you mean some things?"
"She missed!" the real Phoebe said, "When have you ever known Piper to miss." Phoebe said.
"We got them now." Blonde One Phoebe said.
"Yeah you got us now why don't you blow us up?" the real Piper asked.
"Piper! Death bad. Life good." The real Phoebe said.
"Don't worry this bimbo couldn't hit the broad side of a beauty parlor just look that shitty dye job." The real Paige said.
The Blonde Ones gasped. And Blonde Piper threw out both hands to blow up the Charmed Ones and she blew up one of the doors that sealed them in the room.
"Let's go!" Piper said as she and her sisters ran from the room.
The Blonde Ones followed.
"Lizzie stay here, I've got this." Chris told Lizzie before orbing up to the attic.
"The hell I will," Lizzie said running up stairs.
She made it to the attic just in time to see the Chris kissing the Blonde One in the skimpy red dress and the tacky shoes.
The real Charmed Ones where frozen by the door Lizzie quickly darted inside hoping they wouldn't unfreeze and bring the mace and the axe down on her.
"This is not fair! First, I get ripped off in the power department, then you bag the bartender, and the boyfriend lays diamonds on you. That Whitelighter belongs to me."
"Ow, my head. You know, you really need to learn to control your emotions. I can't help it if Chris chose me." Blonde One Phoebe said running a hand through her bleached blonde tresses.
"Did you sleep with him?" The eldest Blonde One demanded.
"No." the middle sister replied innocently.
"Yes." Chris replied at the same time.
"What!" Both Lizzie and the Blonde One shrieked at the same time.
The four of them turned to regard her. Chris gave her a conspiratal wink.
"I gave you a direct order that Whitelighter was off limits." The eldest Blonde One scolded.
"I am so sick of you bossing us around, we both are." The middle sister said.
"Stay out of my feelings." The youngest Blonde One said defensively.
"Oh are those your feelings?" the eldest Blonde One demanded.
"Hell yes those are my feelings. You boss us around like we're idiots."
"She thinks we are idiots." The middle sister said.
"I didn't say that," the eldest Blonde One tried to defend.
"Yeah but I'm sure she felt it my little Empath feels everything." Chris said stepping back and looking over at the book.
Lizzie fumed at the statement she wanted to go over and start something but she was supposed to let this play out. She could always knee Chris later.
"He's right. You despise us." The middle sister said, "I didn't realize how much you hated us until I became an Empath."
"You know what? Come on, baby, let's go, who needs them?" Chris said taking the middle Blonde One by the arm.
"Your not going any where I have worked too hard for too long. We have to stay together or the plan falls apart." The eldest Blonde One said.
"Your bossing again, let the little chippee run off if that's what she wants to do," The youngest sister chirped.
"I am not a chippee you take that back you tramp." The middle Blonde One shoved her younger sister and then the eldest shoved the middle sister and the chandelier fell down and the real Charmed Ones unfroze.
"I think you can handle these women now," Chris told them.
Lizzie watched as Piper punched, the eldest Blonde One and. Paige punched the youngest Blonde One.
Phoebe stalked over to the middle Blonde One,
"Not the nose." The Blonde One whimpered.
"I think you have something of mine." Phoebe said.
"Here anything you want, just don't hit me." The Blonde One removed the diamond necklace and handed it to Phoebe.
Lizzie ran over, "Can I?"
"Sure what the hell." Phoebe said.
Lizzie smirked and then she delivered a right hook directly to the Blonde One's nose and she fell to the ground unconscious like her sisters.
"Not bad," Chris said surveying the damage.
"I take it you two are the ones who did all this?" Paige asked.
"Well, you're the one who set it all up," Chris said picking up the Book and turning it the page.
"What was all that Mister," Lizzie said narrowing her eyes.
"That was the Yoko effect." Chris said.
"The what now?" Lizzie asked.
"The key to our powers and our destiny, lies within our sisterhood. If we don't stick together we'll fall apart like they did." Piper explained.
"Oh."
"So I wasn't just making out with that Blonde One to be making out with her. It was for the greater good."
"Maybe I won't knee you then."
"I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't."
"How'd you know to do that anyway?" Piper asked.
"In all my life I've never seen you take the bait the way that witch took the bait from you," Chris told them.
"In all your life? You've only been our Whitelighter for the summer." Phoebe said.
"He knew us from before or well from later in the future Phoebe," Piper pointed out.
"Oh,"
"And he won't tell us how." Piper said.
"Just read the spell and get your magic back. Jeez… nosey ass witches." Chris said, "I risk catching mono to get you guys your magic back and I get is more questions."
"Oh quit your bitching and let them read the spell." Lizzie said.