Disclaimer: All rights of all the characters herein belong to Rumiko Takahashi and the various syndicates that publish her works. I am but a poor writer that doesn't get paid for her work.
Shadowed Edge writing
Presents
Black Dreams
By Shadow Dancer
Chapter 2
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I'm dreaming.
I must be dreaming.
I'm pretty sure I didn't fall asleep to navy blue mountains, a grape purple sky, or lemon yellow trees.
The blade I rescued from the pool lies on the silver grass before me, and I am sitting, facing the blade.
---Cut---
The thought comes from no-where, and everywhere. I feel an urge to cut those who have hurt me. To hurt them as they have hurt me, over and over, to return the pain they have gifted unto me.
"No," Soft words from my lips. I'm female right now, but I'm still male. Everything shimmers slightly, and I'm male again. My fingers seem to waver, as though seen through a heat haze in the height of summer.
---Why? ---
Again the thought drifts in from everywhere. I stare at the blade in front of me, frowning.
Pink rain falls around me as I ponder the question. "Because it isn't right," I finally answer. And it's true; it isn't right to injure people for hurting me in this way.
---You want to---
I roll my shoulders and look up at the fluffy green clouds, "Yes, I do. But cutting isn't the way. If I could show them the pain they give me, then..."
---Can---
I shake my head, closing my eyes, "No, I can't." Even with my eyes closed, the off-coloured world sits in my view. More proof that I'm asleep.
---I can---
I open my eyes, and look down at the blade.
"How can you?" I query, "You're just a blade, a pretty one, but still just a blade. I don't even know what kind of weapon you are."
---Not blade. Just weapon. ---
I snort, "Yeah, right. You're a weapon with an edge, so you're a blade. You couldn't make them feel my pain either, not unless you were..."
---Magic---
I look at the blade closer. I want to reach out, touch it.
"You're still a blade," I whisper, "I can't cut people. I just can't."
The blade shimmers in front of my eyes, and it's now a metal glove.
---Hit? ---
"Nnnnnnn...no." I reluctantly reply, "I can't hurt them more than they deserve. It's hard to gauge the damage with a weapon, you know?" I gaze at the glove, almost hesitant to reach out to touch it.
It shimmers again, becoming finer, more delicate. Looking almost like jewlery. Similar to the glove it was before, it goes around each finger, but not the entire finger. No, now it looks like rings, attached by chains to an ornate bracelet. Almost a bracer, if it weren't so thin.
---Touch---
I smile at the bracer-let. Or whatever it is. "Touching is fine, but can you...?"
---Yes---
A thought crosses my mind, "How long?" I want them to understand the pain they are giving me, but I don't want to hurt them unduly, not really.
---All---
"No," I reply quickly, "I don't want to hurt them like that. I just want them to understand."
---Understand? ---
"Yeah," I whisper, "I just want them to realize how it hurts when they do what they do."
---Day---
My eyes close as I think, and then I reach out, touching the silvery metal before me, "A day of knowing...sounds about right." I open my eyes, watching the bracer slip around my arm, the rings clipping to my fingers...and then fading away.
I stare at the sky, and fall back asleep.
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I stir as I slowly slide to consciousness. I hear birds chirping, and soft breathing beside me. I roll over, wrapping my arms around something big, but not huge. Not Father. Not the guide either. My fingers twitch a bit, feeling fur underneath my admittedly indelicate fingers. Reminds me of a stuffed animal I had years ago, when I was still a little kid. I squeeze it gently, and my efforts are greeted with a soft whuff of expelled air. I curl closer around the furred thing, and try to slip back asleep.
Something wet in my ear defeats that idea, and I roll away from whatever it is, pulling my bedroll tighter around me.
Again the wet whatever, but in my other ear now. I swat at it, and come into contact with a muzzle of some kind. I blearily open my eyes, and look up at a black and white dog that seems strangely familiar.
"Shirokuro?" I mumble sleepily. The name reminds me of someone who owned the dog, but for some reason I can't remember. The dog whuffs, and then licks my ear again. Shirokuro is apparently wearing a yellow and black bandanna, which again reminds me of someone for some reason. No matter, I'll remember, eventually.
Same as the day before, the rustle of grass alerts me to my father's attempt to sneak up on me. I grin faintly at Shirokuro, and then slip outside of the tent, trying to see if I can sneak up on Father instead, this time.
"Stupid boy, you should be prepared for attack from any direction!" Apparently he's off to the other side this time.
I roll, and then jump, narrowly avoiding a kick. Blow after blow is parried or dodged, until I have my balance back. Strange, I'm not aching as much as I was yesterday...maybe I'm starting to heal faster, now. Block block punch block-parry-counter STRIKE!
Father falls back, slightly, then grins, "You'll have to do better than that, boy!" as he jumps and attacks once again.
After at least ten minutes of heavy sparring, Father finally decides to finish the bout by knocking me into another tree, and rushing for the breakfast that the guide had so helpfully set out. I manage to get a small portion of food, maybe enough for a single normal person, before Father eats the rest.
"We shall be moving on, now," Father declares as he finishes the portion of the food that he has claimed.
The guide grins and nods, "Yes sir. We go to Nyuchezu next, yes?"
"What's that?" I ask before Father can reply.
"Is village of Chinese Amazons," The guide's grin has that oily sheen to it that I've begun to notice on certain people, Father included.
"Can you tell us about them?" I ask, again before Father can reply. He glares at me as if I was spiting his supposed superiority.
"Women warriors, very strong," It is hard to keep from hitting the guide from his smug attitude. He notices my glare, and then adds, "is time for tournament, very good you watch."
Father scoffs, "Women warriors can't be strong. But it would be good to watch them. Right, boy?" I hate it when he does that. Asking me a question, then calling me 'boy', as though no matter what my answer is, it doesn't matter anyways.
"Yeah, whatever, Pops," This new voice of mine still sounds off to my ears. Maybe I'll get used to it in time.
We set out for the village, and stopped at noon for some food. Naturally, I had to fight with Father for my fair share of the food, and I held my own, for about two bites.
My stomach started roiling, and I had to quickly spit out everything I just ate, for fear that I'd bring up what was left of the dinner from the night before as well.
"What's the matter, boy? Can't stand to lose?" Father is enjoying himself, as usual. I don't mind the training, but I shouldn't have to compete for food as well as everything else. But today, something just seems wrong with the food. Nothing tastes quite right, and it's reacting badly with my stomach.
"Yeah, Pops, whatever." Again I just brush off his verbal assault, and then shrug, "You can have the rest. I guess I'm just not hungry."
They finished their meals rather quickly, and then we doused the fire, and continued on. I think it took us another three hours of steady marching to reach the village. Sure enough, the guide was right about there being a tournament here.
We step past the outlying buildings, and into a large open space, with houses all around. In the centre of the space is a large log suspended between four wooden poles. On top of the log are two girls...no, I should say women...fighting. One wielding what looks like a pair of brightly coloured balls on sticks, and the other one is wielding a pair of long curved blades. The one wielding the balled sticks looks to be at a severe weight and strength disadvantage, as the other girl towers over her and has a lot more muscle on her body. But even I know that appearances can be deceiving.
The two trade blows for nearly a minute, the one girl catching the blades of the other on her balled sticks, and the shimmering clash in the air tells me that those aren't wooden balls, but metal of one kind or another.
A growl catches my attention, and I look away from the fight, down at the dog at my side. Shirokuro is glaring and growling at something off to the side. I look over...and see Father eating from a huge pile of food that has a sign in front of it. Something tells me I shouldn't eat it...but I'm so hungry. I stumble over to the food, and I'm about to reach for some meat...when Shirokuro pushes my hand down. I look at the dog in confusion, and reach for a bun...and again the dog pushes my hand aside.
"But...I'm hungry," I whisper. Shirokuro looks into my eyes for a second, and then whuffs. She nudges my hand to the side from where I was reaching, over to the fruit. I blink, and then hesitantly reach for an apple...and she doesn't do anything. I pick up the fruit, and grimace at my stomach's grumbling. Shirokuro then pushes at me, over to the bench where I was sitting before. I smile at the dog, and then sit down, almost about to take a bite...but then something stops me. What if this reacts the same as before? Fear and doubt clouds my mind, until I resolve to try just a little.
Funny, there is a knife in my hand that wasn't there before. And a moderately familiar constriction on my arm makes me look...at the bracer from my dream. Something seems wrong, but I can't think about it anymore, as my stomach growls louder. I carefully slice a section of apple, and look up, startled, at a final ringing smash, just in time to see the girl with the ball-and-stick weapons knock the larger girl off of the log. All the women around me cheer as another female climbs on the log. Her weapon looks to be like a steel staff, with an oblong head at the top, also made out of steel. The smaller girl looks at me, and I look down, at my apple.
I stare at the slice of apple in my hand, and I raise it slowly to my mouth. Placing it on my tongue doesn't at first cause my stomach to rebel, but that could just be a trick of my mind. I chew the sweet fruit, and then swallow it and its juices. I sit there, trembling for a second, afraid that my stomach will keep me from eating anything, starving me. After a few seconds, I look down at the apple again, and grin in happiness. Something that will stay down!
I'm about to start cutting another slice, when I hear some shouting from the log. I look up, and both girls there are staring over towards where Father is eating. Surprised, I look around, and all the women around me are glaring at Father. I groan softly, and am about to stand up when a voice beside me speaks up.
"Sit down, and finish your fruit, girl." I look over at the voice, startled, and see a very old woman perched on a gnarled cane.
"But my father..." I try to get out.
"Has caused his own problems, and possibly some of yours as well. Finish your fruit, you have enough time for that before you defend him." The aged woman stares me in the eye...until I nod. "Good," she cackles, "You can listen to your elders, I'll be interested to see how you fare against my Xian Pu," She then hops away on her staff, disappearing into the group around me quickly.
I look up on the log, and the girls there shout something else at Father, before turning to each other and bowing. A split second later they are trading blows fast and furious. I want to watch them, until my stomach growls again. I look down at the apple again, and continue eating it, savouring the tangy sweetness as it settles in my stomach without a complaint.
All that is left is the core and pith, when a resounding crash tells me the girls are done fighting. I set the core on the bench, and try to put the knife there as well, before standing up. I blink as the second my fingers leave the knife it disappears from sight. I then walk over to where Father is stuffing his face, and yell at him, "Stupid old man, didn't you hear the guide tell us this was a tournament? You're eating their prize!" I twitch, knowing that I ate some of it myself, but I set it aside for now.
"Well then, boy, if this is the prize for the tournament, you should enter and win it! Then there aren't any problems, right?" I turn over to the guide, and hear him translating Father's words to the girls around. I almost think he's trying to pull something, as I still get that oily feeling from him and his words.
"Is that what you want, girl?" I turn and look at the elderly woman from before, and then slump.
"I don't want to spend my life cleaning up his messes. I just want to get out of trouble for the last time, and stay out."
The woman stares at me for a minute, and then says something to the girl up on the log. She then turns back to me, "My name is Ku Lon, and you will fight my great granddaughter Xian Pu for the tournament. Do you accept?"
"I do," I smile softly.
"Good, then get up there, and don't hold back." Ku Lon is grinning at me for some reason.
I jump up onto the log, and hear a few startled gasps. I look at the girl in front of me, and then give a full bow, knowing that while my unarmed skills might be better, she easily has at least as much skill with her weapons of choice. So to those who understand as such, I gave her a bow as though to an equal, and held it for maybe a touch longer than necessary. I stand up straight again, and the girl's eyes glint in the light, as she performs her own style of bow. When she is straight as well, I slip into my normal combat stance, and she falls into hers.
We stand there, watching each other, until someone says a single word. I don't know what the word is, but I know what it means, as Xian Pu surges into motion, striking with her ball-and-stick weapons. I duck from the first, twist to the side from the second, and jump over the third strike. I grin for a second, and then just as I land, panic surges through me as one of the balls is heading straight for my stomach. I grab the ball and stop it, maybe millimetres from my skin, and then anger suffuses me.
I drop below the weapon, even as it is pulled back, and then swipe at her legs with mine. A quick hop puts her over the first leg, her legs curling underneath avoids the second, and then we are both standing again. The girl looks at my face for a second, down to my stomach, and back, and I shrug. I then strike out on my own, and wince as the metal of her weapons stop my fists cold for the first three blows.
I jump up, and back, and Xian Pu grins, and then rushes forwards, her weapons readied for another attack. I strike out thrice, once with each hand, pushing her weapons aside, and the third time with my foot, kicking forward and up, knocking her into the air. She hangs there, surprised for a second, before she flips over, getting her feet ready to catch the log at the other end. Surprise again, when she touches down, on the ground, a full length farther from the log than she thought she would land.
I jump down off of the log, and a girl rushes up to me, holding my hand in the air. I look over to Xian Pu, and a mix of sadness and anger clouds her face for a second, until I motion her forward. She steps up, surprised, until I grab her hand, like the other girl did mine, and raise Xian Pu's hand in the air. I grin at her for a second, and then my eyes go wide in shock as the taller girl leans forward to place a kiss on my lips.
My fingers slip up to touch my mouth, as I stare at her.
Until my arm is grabbed by the guide, and he runs, shouting, "Very bad you win, sir, she just give you the kiss of death!"
"What are you talking about?" Father growls at the man as they run.
"Is promise to chase you to the ends of the earth and kill you!"
Fear gives my legs strength that hunger could not, before, as I follow them, running away from her.
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The guide abandoned us half a day later, as we passed the valley of springs. Shirokuro vanished some time after; I hope she didn't get lost. That night, Father wanted to stay in a town, but I put my foot down. "I refuse to pay for your comfort," was the only answer he received.
The next morning, I awoke in my tent, and found an orange, peeled and sectioned, sitting on a silk cloth beside my pillow. Father denied leaving the fruit, even as he tried to steal 'his share' of it (I ate half before asking him, just to settle my stomach first) and no other sign was seen of my mysterious benefactor.
For two weeks, we ran, hoping to outdistance the one who apparently wanted to kill us. For two weeks, I awoke each morning to a small fruit, sliced and sitting on a cloth, waiting for me. After that first day, I never told Father again about the fruit. Thankfully, I could eat without losing my food anymore, no matter how hard Father and I trained in the mornings.
Although, my stomach area seems sensitive recently, and I've been spending a bit more effort to keep from getting hit there, ever.
On the first day of the third week, however, Father decided to again bring up the idea of 'getting over my pain' from what he had done to me before.
Seconds later, and not long ones at that, Xian Pu landed in the clearing, screaming, wielding two big swords, slashing around, with hate and fury in her eyes.
I was VERY glad right then that we had already packed up, and were just about to leave anyways.
Strange, however, that the swords never came close to me. Almost like she was aiming at Father for some reason...
For two days after that, we ran. For those two days, I didn't wake up to my recent morning gifts.
For two days, I couldn't eat a single thing, no matter how tasty it looked, because if I tried, it all came back up again. Father insisted it was a bug of some kind, but I don't know.
We didn't run quite so hard after those two days; Father insists that we lost her. But when we stopped running like the wind itself was after us, I awoke again to little fruit gifts in the morning.
We travelled like that for another month, maybe a bit more. We never stayed in towns, and when we had to restock our food, I had to either trade what few trinkets I had...or I traded my body. I always felt dirty for days after that happened. I would bathe in streams daily, sometimes more, when I could. Thankfully for my sanity, I only had to do that twice.
After the first time, when I was in the stream trying to clean the feeling away, I looked up to see Xian Pu sitting beside my clothes. I was about to run, when she placed something on the pile, and then slipped into the forest. I stayed in the water, freezing, for several long minutes, before taking a chance and slipping up to my clothes.
Sitting on my clothes, were the trinkets I had pawned for food before, and a very small pile of coins.
I never told Father that Xian Pu was still following, after that day.
After that month of long travel, Father and I hired on to a trawler going to Japan. I enjoyed hot baths for the first time on that part of the trip. After the baths, I told Father I didn't want to let my secret out, so I changed back.
I didn't want to tell him I couldn't change back to a boy in the first place.
A week and a half of sailing, of decent an honest work, and we arrived in Tokyo again.
And now...
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"A fiancee?" I look at my father, "You want me to marry someone after all that's happened to me?" The sheer idiocy of the situation has already gone over what I can handle. After a second, I ask, "What about Xian Pu? She's not going to give up, remember. That promise was to follow to the ends of the earth, and we aren't anywhere NEAR the end."
"Stupid boy! Of course she isn't following us anymore. We haven't seen her for at least a month!" I haven't said anything to father about the incident at the stream, and I have no intentions of ever telling him. Father continues, "She won't follow us here for any reason, she'll just tell her village that she killed us and be done with it. Anyways, you need to marry one of my friend's daughters, our family honour depends on it!"
I stare at him incredulously for a second, and then ask, "So, why does honour mean something NOW? Why didn't it mean anything when you were cheating those farmers out of their food?"
"We didn't cheat them," Father glares at me, "We are martial artists, we earn that food just by practicing our art!"
I want to rip his head off, screaming. Almost do I give in to the temptation. Then the moment passes. I take a deep breath, then reply, "Whatever, Pops. I doubt anyone would want to marry me as I am." A woman, not a man. A woman who has been defiled. No, I'm certainly unfit for marriage, Father. You just don't realize what you've done yet.
A quick rain shower takes away Father's humanity, and I again fight the urge to do something stupid. The irony doesn't escape me, now. Here I am, a man who's no longer a man, trained by a man who isn't even human, being promised to another man's daughters. Someone is getting a good laugh at this, somewhere.
After another hour of wandering (I know Father's lost, I've seen that same building three times now) we finally reach what I think is his friend's house. And that only because he's currently walking into the place. A sign beside the gate says 'Tendo Dojo' and another sign underneath it says 'Please take challenges to the back entrance.'
We get up to the front door, and a man, and a teenage girl run up to the door. They stare at Father for a second, and then run back where they came from. Father follows them. After a heartfelt sigh, I slip in after Father, leaving my shoes at the door.
"Hey leave off, old man, you're scaring them," I growl at Father. He looks over his shoulder at me, then waves me forward. I look up at the man before me, he's at least a foot taller than myself, with shoulder length hair, and wearing a black gi. Behind the man are three girls, one tall girl with long hair and a calm expression, another girl, shorter than the first, but still taller than me, has hair cut to just below her ears and she looks halfway frightened, and a third girl, only barely taller than myself, with longer hair, and a furious expression.
"Are these your friends, daddy?" The tallest girl asks in a faintly surprised voice.
When the man shakes his head rapidly, the middle girl sharply demands, "If they aren't your friends then what's a panda doing here?"
Again the man shakes his head, and then Father pushes me around in front him and holds my shoulders. The man slowly leans forward and hesitantly asks, "You wouldn't be...Ranma?"
"Saotome Ranma. Sorry about this." I look away from the man's eager face. What did Father sell me for THIS time?
"So, you're Ranma!" the man cries in joy. He then hugs me close to his body...squishing my breasts against his...that.
"He's cute!" I hear the second girl comment through the man's clothes. Panic is starting to set in as the man squeezes me against himself. Once, twice, three times...and then he pushes me away again, staring at my chest. The middle girl leans close, and then pokes at my breast, and then feels it, all over. "Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!" she states in outrage. Whether her outrage is real or not doesn't matter to me right now, as MINE is quite real.
I push the girl's hand aside and mutter, "Please ask before playing with my body." Quite frankly, I don't care what Father sold me for this time; I'm leaving as soon as I can find a reasonable place to go to. I look up, to see the man staring at me in shock, and then he keels over in a dead faint.
"Father!" The eldest girl calls out as the man hits the floor.
All three girls pick up the man, and carry him into the dining area, setting a pillow under his head, and a light blanket over him.
"Oh poor Father. He must be so disappointed," The eldest girl sighs, kneeling beside her father. She looks at me in a faintly disappointed manner, and I wonder if it is her, or her father, that she is talking about.
"I'm the one who's disappointed," the middle girl replies in a sulky voice, "I was looking forward to see what kind of man he was. Then I get a look at him, and it turns out he is a girl." She glares at me, even as I drop my head and sigh.
"Leave her alone big sister," This is the first I've heard from the youngest girl, or at least I think she's the youngest, "She came a long way to visit us!"
"Oh look everyone, Father's waking up," Again the eldest girl comments. Does she have any mood other than calm, I wonder.
"It's all your fault, Father!" The middle girl complains, "Couldn't you have checked if he was a boy or a girl?"
Her father replies, "Saotome told me he had been blessed with a son."
The middle girl grabs my breast again, and comments, "What part of this looks like a boy to you, hmm? What part of this?" Several feelings go through me as she squeezes, but one common one is louder than the rest.
Revulsion.
"Will you please ASK first?" I growl, shoving her hand away from me again.
"She's right!" the youngest girl agrees with me, "So what if she's a girl, she's a guest!" She then places her hand on my shoulder and queries brightly, "Hey, would you like to see our dojo?" I look up at her in confusion, and she smiles, "My name is Akane, would you like to be friends?"
A...friend? I haven't had a friend in a very long time. I just hope... "Yes," I whisper, a hesitant smile on my face.
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Akane and I slip into the dojo, and I look around at the calm interior. "You study kenpo, right?" Akane asks me as we step inside. When I nod in agreement, she continues, "How about we have a little match?"
"A match?" I ask, dubiously.
"Yeah! For fun." She grins at me, and then steps into a combat stance. I look at her, smiling, as I stay in my normal 'stance'. It is a stance, that isn't, which is designed to make people underestimate me. It usually works fairly well. "Don't worry, I won't attack you for real."
Akane's arms are in a classic offensive position, and I already know which moves she's limited herself to. For a second, I'm tempted to just dodge everything...
Then I remember. I'm not a boy anymore. Unlike Father, I can't change back.
And because I'm a girl now...
There's nothing really holding me back.
Akane steps forward, throwing a punch...that I jump over. Akane then kicks, and I slip to one side, and a punch goes to my other side. Anger seems to seep into her visage, and with her next punch, I duck backwards, grab her wrist, and fall. Akane seems surprised that I would use a beginner throw, even though I try to make it light.
"You're good," she grins at me as she stands up again, "But you won't do that again!" Her speed starts to increase, and every third attack of hers I would respond with a light punch or kick of my own. She manages to avoid every throw I try to set her up for, but she doesn't avoid my other strikes.
I think she's getting a little better as she tries to hit me, and so, just as she sets herself for a real punch...
I block the punch, and wince as even with my strength, her strike shoves my blocking hand back into my shoulder. The push she gives me with her punch gives my rotation a bit more strength than I intend, as I return the punch in kind, striking her collarbone. Unlike her strike, mine goes through unopposed, and Akane falls to the ground with a thump.
Akane starts laughing, and I join in with a quiet giggle. As she stops, she stands up again, "You're pretty good," She comments, smiling, "I'm just glad you're a girl." I blink at her in confusion, with a wordless query slipping from my throat. She shrugs, "Well, I just couldn't stand losing to a boy."
Akane steps out of the dojo, leaving me behind. With my thoughts of what once was, and might never be again.
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