A/N (Calum the Angel): Basically, the same author's note from the last chapter, only regarding Yuri. This also incorporates a Kaede/anyone pairing that someone requested. Please, do enjoy! Kekeke...

"You're such a jerk!"

"Oh, I'm the jerk?!"

"Yeah, you are the jerk!"

"Why don't you just go home if you think I'm such a jerk!"

"Maybe I will, jerk!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Shippou grabbed the sides of his head painfully. "Oh boy, talk about a case of deja vu... If those two get any louder, my head is going to split open!"

"It's so strange how their behavior towards one another can change from day to day," Sango commented. She shot a glance at the monk next to her. "So, Miroku, feeling any better today?"

"Yes, much better," Miroku responded. "I don't know what came over me. It's just like Sesshoumaru said: I would return to normal after the sun rose for the following day."

"That means you're attracted to women again?" Sango asked hopefully.

"Indeed."

"That's a relief..."

Stroke, stroke.

SLAP!

"NOT THAT RELIEVED!!!"

"Hey, what's the hold-up?!" Inuyasha demanded of Kagome. "I thought you said you were going home! Why don't you collect up your things and go cry your girly-tears all the way through the well!"

"All you men are the same, you know that?!" Kagome screamed. "You're such a chauvinistic creep! You're always rushing off into battle, swinging your sword like it's some big representation of your manhood!"

Miroku arched an eyebrow.

"What, are you afraid the poor little women are going to get hurt?!" Kagome continued. "Always thinking you need to protect us from the big bad demons! What makes you think we actually need protecting? I hate it when you protect me! Stop protecting me, you jerk! I don't care if I would get killed five time before I hit the ground if it weren't for you protecting me, I still say it's chauvinistic!"

"Uh, Kagome," Sango began.

"You should be highly offended, too!" Kagome snapped.

Sango shrugged and sighed helplessly.

"What do you mean, she sighed helplessly?!" Kagome shouted to no one in particular. "Are you saying that women are helpless?! You're as sexist as the rest of them!"

But, uh... I'm a girl.

"A sexist girl! Girls can think that women are helpless too, if they're some kind of low self-esteem male-attention-seeking scum!"

A large boulder fell from the sky and landed directly on Kagome's head.

"Ha! Luckily, I was carrying an umbrella!" Kagome crowed, holding a tiny paper cocktail umbrella in her fingers. The boulder was repelled effortlessly...onto Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku cried. "Are you alright?"

Inuyasha lifted the boulder up, grunting painfully, and tossed it off of him. He got to his feet painfully and dusted himself off.

"And I'm not even done yet!" Kagome shouted.

Oh, yes you are.

"No, I'm not! Why are they called manhole covers?!"

"What's a manhole cover?" Inuyasha wondered.

"Don't play dumb!" Kagome snapped, sticking her finger in his face. "Just because you're a dumb male doesn't mean you have to play the part!"

"Now see here!" Miroku cut in.

"Oh, don't you start!" Kagome raged, whirling around to face Miroku. "You're the worst of them all! You think you can just walk up to any woman and ask her to bear your child?! I don't care if you're going to die! You think women are a bunch of floozies?! Only good for making babies for your own selfish reasons?!"

"Oh, they're good for far more than that..." Miroku sighed dreamily.

"What, cooking and cleaning?!"

"No, that's...not quite what I meant..."

"And that's only half of it! You think you can put your hands all over a woman without her caring?! You have no right to do that! Keep your hands to yourself! Everyone learned that in Kindergarten!"

"What's kindergarten?" Miroku inquired delicately.

"AAGH!" Kagome screamed. She grabbed Sango by the wrist and dragged her off into the forest.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha called after the enraged girl.

"Uh... I'll be back!" Sango called. "...I think..."

"Wasn't it horrible how they just kept mouthing off at me like that?" Kagome demanded of Sango when they'd reached a clearing. Kagome was pacing fervently.

Sango watched her with her eyes. She muttered, "I'm not sure it was them doing the mouthing off..."

Kagome didn't seem to notice. "You should agree with me more than anyone! Miroku puts his filthy male hands all over you all the time, doesn't he? Don't tell me you enjoy it!"

"Of course not!" Sango snapped. "I don't think it's in good taste at all. It's especially uncomfortable since I work with him all the time."

"A classic case of sexual harassment in the workplace!" Kagome nodded.

"But Kagome, that's no reason to harangue them like that. You were awfully hard on them. Everyone has their faults. Miroku's just happen to be a little more physical than most... You don't need to yell at him for me. I'm quite capable of handling the situation on my own!"

"What about Inuyasha?"

"He protects you because he cares about you," Sango explained exasperatedly, "Not because he thinks he should because you're female!"

Kagome suddenly burst into tears. "Oh, Sango, is that really what it is? I'm not sure of anything anymore! I'm so lost! I... I...feel like I don't know who I am anymore!"

"Almost like..." Sango gulped, "...you're having a crisis of identity?"

"Exactly!" Kagome shrieked. She sobbed into Sango's shoulder. "You're the only one who understands me!"

"Uh oh..." Sango mumbled, squirming uncomfortably in Kagome's grip. Sesshoumaru had never mentioned that identity crises could be inflicted upon bishoujo, too...

"I never want that nasty, chauvinistic old Inuyasha to protect me again!" Kagome cried. She looked lustfully up into Sango's brown, seriously worried eyes. "Will you protect me, Sango? You're so strong, and know how to fight demons just as good as any stupid man; even better. And you look so hot in your demon slayer uniform!"

"I have to go!!!" Sango screamed. She squirmed out of Kagome's embrace and sprinted out of the forest.

Kagome stared after Sango a moment before sighing heavily.

"I can't go back now... Not back to stupid chauvinistic Inuyasha, and stupid chauvinistic Miroku, and Shippou, to whom I am fairly indifferent..."

Kagome turned around and walked degenerately into the deepest parts of the forest.

Enjoying the sound of her shoes crushing the poor, innocent leaves under her feet, Kagome soon came to a peculiar part of the forest. It was very dark, as if night had suddenly fallen. As she wandered deeper into the woods, she was faced with a translucent wall of swirling blues. She had seen strange things like this before.

"This looks like one of Naraku's barriers," Kagome gasped. "Well, I'll be!"

She felt a chilling breeze cross behind her back. When she inhaled sharply from the shock, her eyes locked on the source of the chill. A long, white, serpentine dragon had just flown past her and was now returning to its master.

Kikyo stood not far away, standing next to the barrier and inspecting it carefully.

Kagome studied the ancient priestess for a moment. "You know," she mused to herself, "Kikyo isn't half bad-looking. No wonder Inuyasha keeps cheating on me with her! Not that I care or anything. I hate Inuyasha. Wait a minute... Kikyo hates Inuyasha, too! We have so much in common!"

Without any kind of sense left in her brain, Kagome marched right up to Kikyo and stood next to her, before the looming barrier. Kikyo slowly turned her head to look at Kagome, her neck squeaking. She was a rusty old clay pot, after all.

"Hi, Kikyo!" Kagome greeted cheerfully, taking a page out of Hojo's book.

Kikyo blinked. "Once the spider's hair has become tangled in its own hairbrush, it must brush its teeth at once or the metaphysical tungsten filament in the cosmic lightbulb will bathe the world in darkness."

It was Kagome's turn to blink. "...Huh?"

"I said, what do you want, kid?"

"I was just thinkin'..." Kagome said innocently, scuffing her toe in the dirt. "I think you're kind perty an' all, an' I was wonderin' if you wanted to be my girlfriend!"

Kikyo cocked an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"Give us a snog, you old clay pot!" Kagome gushed, arms outstretched in the offering of a hug.

Kikyo chose not to accept it. "Why would I want to kiss you? I'd rather kiss Inuyasha. How I love him so... No, wait, that was last week... Yes, that's right, I hate him this week." Kikyo pulled out her day planner and began leafing through the pages. "And next Monday appears to be Try And Kill Inuyasha For Some Inexplicable Reason Day, so I'll still hate him then, but after that... I'm free on Wednesday to try and kiss him. And I suppose that will set you off into a jealous rage... That way, I can kill two demons with one arrow."

"No, it's changed!" Kagome insisted. "I hate men now! Inuyasha is history, baby, you're the only one for me!"

Kikyo looked up from her day planner, intrigued. "You...hate Inuyasha? Well then, we have much to discuss. However, I'm afraid I can't talk here. I have a very important meeting beyond this barrier. Would you care to join me?"

"Of course!" Kagome chirped. "I would follow you anywhere!"

Kikyo stepped through the barrier. It parted for her, leaving her completely unscathed. Kagome was right behind her, equally capable of passing through the barrier without a hassle.

Kikyo sighed and shook her head slowly. "If only Inuyasha was that agreeable..."

The two travelled uphill to a large castle. On the outside, it appeared to be nothing more than the average noble's abode, but Kagome knew that the thick, purple atmosphere that hung over it was nothing but average. It was none other than Naraku's miasma, surrounding one of Naraku's illusory castles.

Kikyo led the way up the hill and into the castle. There was no one else to be seen.

"Sure is dark..." Kagome mumbled as they set foot in the castle vestibule. "Kikyo, give me your hand! I can't see a—"

Kagome halted when she realized that Kikyo was nowhere to be seen.

"—thing? Kikyo? Kikyo, where are you? I can't see you! Kikyo!"

There was no reply from the miko. Kagome was all alone in the dark of the castle.

"Oh, great. Now she's gone and lost me! Don't tell me I have to hate women now, too! There's no one left! ...Except maybe Naraku. He has no gender..."

"What have we here?" a voice purred from beyond the shadows. A figure in a traditional kimono stepped out into the light. Her hair was up in a type of bun, accented with a pair of feathers. Red eyes were hooded with eyeshadow of the same shade, and she held a fan in her right hand.

"It's Kagura...!" Kagome gasped. Then she hesitated. That cruel, exotic look in her eye. That swagger in her step. The fact that she was female. She was perfect!

"A candidate for some lovin', that's what we have here!" Kagome exclaimed. She ran up to Kagura and grabbed her free hand. "I've never noticed before how lovely you really are! How do you get your hair like that?"

Kagura's eyes widened in fear. She tried to jar her hand from Kagome's grip, but it was futile.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Kagura demanded. "Let go, you freak!"

"Never!" Kagome exclaimed. "I will stay with you forever and ever and ever and ever and EVER!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Kagura cried desperately. She finally managed to wrench out of the lovesick girl's grasp and run for dear life through the corridors of the castle.

"Come back!" Kagome called after her, chasing her down the darkened halls. "I love you!"

Kagome pursued Kagura all the way to the opposite end of the castle, where a lone chamber rested at the end of a long corridor. Kagura came sprinting into the chamber, the door rolls flying out in front of her with the force of her run.

"Naraku! For the love of the gods, help!"

Naraku looked up scandalously from his, erm, ministrations on Kikyo's neck.

"I told you to knock first!" Naraku shouted.

"Ugh!" Kagura gagged. She flicked open her fan and covered her eyes from the horrible sight of what could have been considered her father making out with Kikyo, of all people.

Kagome ran in moments later, and beheld the sight herself.

"K-Kikyo!" she stammered. "You're... You're cheating on me with another woman!"

Naraku lifted an eyebrow. It lowered as a smile crossed his face. "You know, you're welcome to join us."

Kagura's eyebrows shot up.

Kagome, on the other hand, pursed her lips doubtfully. "That voice... Sorry, I didn't realize you were a man."

"Dammit!" Naraku cursed. "That's the third time this week! First that drunken peasant, then the monk, now you!"

"Oh, Kikyo!" Kagome blubbered. "How could you do this to me?!" She ran sobbing out of the room and back out into the dark corridors.

There was an awkward silence back in the chamber. Kagura's eyes shifted nervously.

"I'm, uh..." Kagura mumbled, "gonna go now..."

She disappeared out of the room just as quickly as she had entered it.

Meanwhile, Kagome had found her way out of the castle and was now wandering through the forest again. How did she manage to get out of the castle without getting lost down the long, dank, dark, dusty corridors, you ask? Why, she's Kagome! Need a better explanation than that? Well, too bad. You're not getting one. So m'leah.

Anyway.

When Kagome emerged from the forest, she found herself near the village by the Bone Eater's well. Everything seemed normal and peaceful, until she spotted a strange shape in the sky. A chill went up her spine when she saw it, and knew she needed to find out what it was. She saw it land somewhere in the village, and ran to meet it.

She eventually tracked it to Kaede's hut. The strange shape had been Sesshoumaru's yellow, twin-headed dragon, which was now sitting out on the grass and looking around indifferently. Tied behind them was what looked suspiciously like a convertible. Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru often changed his mode of transportation, but this seemed...a little more unusual than was, well, usual. Kagome squared her shoulders and opened the door to Kaede's hut.

Kaede was standing opposite Sesshoumaru. The two stared each other down from across Kaede's fire pit.

"This is your last chance, old woman," Sesshoumaru threatened monotonously. "Give me what I came for, immediately, or suffer severe retribution."

"I have already told ye, be patient," Kaede replied calmly. "I will produce what it is that ye seek. But I am old, I cannot simply jump up and get whatever it is that ye need so quickly!"

"You're just stalling," Sesshoumaru muttered. "Stop wasting my time talking, and fetch it, quickly!"

"Lady Kaede!" Kagome called from the door. "Are you—"

"Kagome," Kaede said, noticing the girl for the first time. "There is no need to fear. I will get what Sesshoumaru wants. Then, I expect, he'll leave me be."

"Yes, but—!" Kagome tried to protest. She readied her bow in case something came of Sesshoumaru's threats.

Kaede produced a small container filled with a white substance. "Here. Is this enough?"

"Ah, that's perfect," Sesshoumaru purred. He strode over to the old priestess and picked up the container. He held it up and looked at it with a smirk playing on his lips. "This cup of sugar is exactly what I need to finish baking Rin a birthday cake. Thank you, old woman. This will suffice."

The demon walked out of the hut, but not before spotting Kagome, and regarding the girl for a moment.

"Of course," he said slowly after a moment. "I knew it. It's just like I said. They always come back." He winked.

Kagome's face twisted into a mask of combined fear, disgust, awe, confusion, and general creeped-out-ness. Come on, think about it. Sesshoumaru winking. Wouldn't you feel the same?

After Sesshoumaru had left and the general shock of him winking had subsided, Kagome went and attended to Kaede.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"No, Kagome, I'm alright," Kaede replied. "He is surprisingly fair, for someone who turns sibling rivalry into a life-or-death situation."

"Thank goodness," Kagome sighed. "It would be terrible to lose a face like yours."

Kaede lifted an eyebrow. "What do ye speak of?"

"Those wrinkles..." Kagome swooned. "And that eyepatch... They're just so... Kaede, I've never told you this before, but—"

"Oh, ai!" Kaede exclaimed. She shuffled around Kagome, giving her a wide berth, and scampered out the door with much more vitality than her old age would suggest.

Kagome followed her out the door. "Lady Kaede! Where are you going?"

"I just remembered that I needed to go fight Mistress Centipede!" Kaede shouted back as she ran for her life. "I mean, Yura of the Demon Hair! I mean...some demon who's not dead yet!"

Defeated, Kagome sighed. She turned when she heard a small voice behind her. It was a little girl dressed in a kimono with a side ponytail. Kagome was fairly certain that her name was Rin.

"Hi!" Rin greeted happily.

"Hi, there!" Kagome greeted back. "Aren't you the sweetest little thing!"

Kagome reached out to pat the girl on the head when she was suddenly scooped up into Sesshoumaru's arm. Rin clung to the demon's big fluffy, and Sesshoumaru glared down at Kagome with venomous contempt. He voiced his anger in one word.

"No."

"What?" Kagome demanded. "I was just gonna..."

"Sesshoumaru!"

Kagome recognized that voice shouting the name of the angry demon before her. Inuyasha and company appeared off in the distance, running towards them.

"You get away from her!" Inuyasha barked. He swung the Tetsusaiga, releasing a golden shockwave. It sliced through the convertible, but Sesshoumaru was able to leap out of the way in time. Kagome shielded her eyes from the resulting gust of wind.

When Sesshoumaru landed and laid eyes on the ruined convertible, his face showed a startling amount of emotion as his jaw dropped and his eyes widened in shock.

"M-m-my ride!!!" Sesshoumaru shrieked. His eyes narrowed dangerously, and his lower lip quivered. He lowered Rin to the ground and patted her head. "Run along now, Rin. Daddy needs to, er, collect his insurance claim..."

"Yes, Master Sesshoumaru!" Rin said obediently and ran away.

"Any last words before I kill you for what you were about to do to Kagome?" Inuyasha sneered to Sesshoumaru.

The elder demon brother shook his head. "What was it that you think I was going to do? I was only trying to help, brother. Appreciate it: it doesn't happen very often. I'm afraid Kagome's...day has come."

"That's what I thought," Sango said.

"Oh, no!" Inuyasha cried. "Kagome, snap out of it!"

"Don't worry, brother," Sesshoumaru said off-handedly. "She'll be back to normal tomorrow. In the meantime, perhaps I can convince her otherwise. Hey, Kagome. Hear that? I actually know your name now! And check this out!" He lifted up his foot and reached down to the laces. He tugged on them with a sexy grin on his face, which soon turned into a grimace as the laces refused to budge. He grunted as he futilely yanked on them, hopping around on one foot.

"Oh, no, not again!" Sesshoumaru growled. "I just got these undone a few hours ago, I swear! Hang on, just let me keep trying!"

"Inuyasha," Kagome said, approaching the hanyou shyly. "I've changed my mind. Not all men are scum, just most of them. I know that if you didn't care about me, you wouldn't have come all this way to save me."

"You mean, your identity crisis is over?" Inuyasha asked hopefully.

"Nope!" Kagome bubbled. She peered over his shoulder and winked at Sango. Sango shrieked and leapt into Miroku's arms. The monk grinned mischievously.

"Oh, well..." Inuyasha sighed. "Good enough, I guess. Come on, Kagome, let's go."

The five wandered off into the sunset, leaving Sesshoumaru still hopping around trying to get his laces undone.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" he demanded. "Fine, but you'll be back! They ALWAYS come back! JAKEN!!! WHERE ARE THE SCISSORS?!?!"