This is a little AU one-shot kind of thing.
Google Translations:
Ne ostavlyay menya. = Don't leave me.
YA zdes', detka. YA nikuda ne poydu. = I'm right here, baby. I won't go anywhere.
/
Slow afternoons were a luxury back at the Compound. Even if Natasha did not have to work on a particular day, the energy buzzing around her as everyone else went about their business was enough to keep the spy on alert, often getting pulled into helping with one thing or another. But at the farm, Nat got to sit at the kitchen table with her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. The only energy that buzzed around her was the joyful, whimsical hum made by children. A small smile graced her lips as she watched Wanda color with Lila at the other end of the table.
Whenever they went to visit the farm, it was always the same pattern. The little witch would be initially hesitant when they first arrived. It was apparent that she was not ready to live on the farm permanently as she asked every time if she would come back with Natasha, only marginally relaxing when the woman confirmed that she was. Once they were there, the teenager would trail after Nat for the first few days before she got comfortable enough to leave her side. This time it was only their second day and the girl already seemed more at ease, allowing herself to be dragged into drawing with crayons by Lila.
Jumping out of her seat, the Barton middle child scurried over to Nat, presenting her with the paper she had just finished her picture on, "Look Auntie Nat! I made a zoo!"
"Wow!" Natasha grinned as she looked at the flat, crude yet charming drawings of animals done by a child's hand. She pointed to an orange blob with an exceedingly long neck as one of the more recognizable images, "I love your giraffe."
"I made it for you." Lila wiggled a little in excitement.
"Thank you, sweetie." She said as she accepted the drawing from
"What have you drawn, Wanda?" Laura asked, coming over from the sink where she had been finishing up washing the breakfast dishes. The teenager moved her hand so Laura could see, and the mother beamed, offering the same enthusiasm Nat had just given Lila, "Wow, that looks very interesting!"
"I want to see." Lila declared and Wanda held up her piece of paper. On it was not a particular image but a swirl of warm hues, reds with orange highlights and maroon shadows, that radiated outward to the edge of the page. The Black Widow smiled at the beautiful mess of colors, recognizing it immediately from the starbursts of red during training and the glowing loop that lazily encircled her wrist most nights when she tucked Wanda into bed, but Lila tilted her head to the side in confusion, "You're supposed to make a picture, not just color the page."
"Oh, sorry. It's supposed to be my magic." Wanda shrugged awkwardly.
Before Nat could tell her she loved it, Laura placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I think it's wonderful. Nice work, Wanda."
"Thank you.." Wanda dipped her head shyly then glanced up at the woman, offering with careful casualness and a little uncertainty, "You could have it, if you want."
"Of course I want it. Thank you, honey." Laura effused again with her smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. The little witch returned the smile and suddenly the contentment that Natasha had been feeling was extinguished, like a candle going out in her chest.
It did not quite make sense, when the scene before her should make her happy. It looked like a perfect snapshot of a young teenager preening under the attention of a proud mother. This was the ideal scenario for Wanda. It had always been the intended outcome for her to be comfortable enough to come live with the Barton's, for her to thrive under the maternal warmth of Laura. Nat's only role was to help her with the transition while giving the family time to prepare for her to move in permanently with them. So she could not explain why seeing the sweet exchange made her blood turn hot and uncomfortable. Suddenly her green eyes keenly observing them reflected more than just their color.
"Nat?"
"Hm?" The redhead realized that Laura was looking at her curiously.
"Just seeing if you would like more coffee."
"Oh, no thank you. I'm good." She looked at the black, now cold coffee in her mug then stood, needing to get away for the moment, "I'm actually going to grab a shower."
"Alright." Laura acknowledged and wandered back over to the counter to finish wiping it down. Taking her newly gifted drawing that would be stuck in a drawer at home where she gathered all the mementos the Barton children gave her, Natasha turned to head upstairs and hopefully better sort through her feelings.
She knew she had grown fond of Wanda over the last few months as she watched after the Sokovian until she was well enough to go live on the farm and the Barton's were settled in enough with the new addition to their family before throwing another kid into the mix. And fond really felt inadequate to describe the fierce protection, the infinite warmth, the magnetic pull like it was a part of the rules of physics that governed the earth that made her care so deeply for Wanda. It was easy to forget when they were sequestered away at the Compound, making blueberry pancakes with Steve, and going over English homework and cuddling up to read a book before bed, that Wanda would someday soon be going to live with the family away from her. For the first time, Nat felt confronted by this reality and some place inside her already went hollow even thinking about it.
As much as it hurt, the Widow understood that Wanda being adopted by the Barton family was the best thing for her. With an affectionate set of siblings, a doting father and the greatest mother in existence, the teenager would be a part of a perfect family, she would be loved. It was far more than Natasha could offer her, she thought ruefully. It would only be herself and it was a life of training and missions and isolation from her peers that she could offer, and every time the woman went to work she risked not coming back. If she was all Wanda had, how cruel would it be to keep tempting fate until the girl lost her as well? She would be alone again. How many more times did she have to suffer through the same fate? That was no life for the girl who had suffered so much and deserved so much more than what life had given her. When the time came, she would let the little witch go. She would give up her role to Laura.
But it still hurt, and jealousy reared its ugly head. It was not a cruel jealousy, but rather a sad one full of longing for what could not be. Nat sighed and stepped under the beckoning hot spray of water, bargaining with herself. She would feel sorry for herself in the shower and then she would shove down the emotions, allowing herself to forget once again to just enjoy the time she had left with Wanda.
And her plan worked out perfectly until later in the evening. The spy had come out of her shower feeling refreshed and Wanda had slipped back into staying attached to Nat's hip, so she indulged in spending time with the girl- leisurely putting an intricate braid in her hair and afterwards Wanda fell asleep with her head on her lap as they watched a movie that afternoon. So the day had been recovered until right before they were going to sleep.
Natasha finished dressing into her pajamas and was getting ready to go say goodnight to Wanda. The teenager slept in the blue room across the hall from her. Previously she would have stayed in Nat's room with the woman, but this was their second visit that the teenager felt confident enough to stay in her own room instead of sharing. Not that she stayed in it every night during their visit, but it was progress. The redhead opened her bedroom door to see directly across into Wanda's open door. She had a clear view of Wanda sitting up against her pillows already under the covers with Laura next to her on the edge of the bed. The two seemed to be having a heartfelt conversation with Laura oddly holding the coveted drawing Wanda had given her earlier in the day. She must have come in to talk a little about the girl's magic which she tended to be rather secretive about with Natasha being the exception.
Whatever was said made the little witch tentatively slip her arms around Laura's neck in a nervous hug while the woman easily accepted it, patting Wanda's back with her free hand. When they parted Laura noticed Natasha and smiled, "Hey Nat. I'm just saying goodnight."
The redhead stayed rigidly in her door frame, returning the sentiment woodenly, "Night, Laur."
"You two sleep well." She said sweetly as she rose and walked down the hall to the opposite end where her and Clint's bedroom was. Natasha felt stuck in place as the fact that her presence would no longer be needed in their nightly routine suddenly seemed all the more imminent. She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
"Tasha?" Wanda brought her back to the moment.
She gave her a smile that felt like it was on the brink of cracking as she crossed the hall and went to the girl's side. Instead of offering to read to her like she might usually do or sit down to linger and talk about their day as she stroked her hair, Natasha only offered her a quick kiss on the forehead, telling her softly, "Goodnight, Wanda."
"Goodnight, Tasha." The little witch replied, not shifting to lie down as she watched Nat go until the woman shut the door behind her.
It was a couple hours later after Natasha settled into her bed and had been lying in the dark unable to fall asleep when she heard a quiet tapping on her door, immediately followed by the slow rattle of the doorknob turning and whiny creak of the hinges. Wanda's voice floated into the room in a whisper, "Tasha?"
She propped herself up on her elbow to see the girl dimly lit in moonlight, hovering in the small space in the doorway she had cracked open, "Yes, milaya?"
"Can I.." The question trailed off, but the Widow did not need her to finish it to know what she was asking. Wanda was always welcome in her bed, but now she wondered if it was what she wanted. Laura would let Wanda in her bed as well. That was probably what Wanda really wanted, really needed, and she was still just a little too shy to make it all the way down the hall to the other woman. She could tell her that it would be alright for her to go and ask to share Laura's side of the bed, even walk her over there if she wanted her to. If she were a better person that was what she would do. If she were the kind of person who would make a good mother she would do what was best for Wanda, but selfishly she wanted one more night with her little witch.
"Of course. Come, get in, malyshka." Nat turned over the covers, inviting her to join her.
Wanda slipped in the room and shut the door behind her, then came over to climb into the bed. She curled against Natasha, resting her head on her chest and the woman brought the blankets back around them. The Widow exhaled in relief as she wrapped her arms around the girl, "Hm.. did you have a nightmare, baby?"
"No.." Wanda rubbed her face into Nat's nightshirt, "Just couldn't sleep."
Natasha started stroking soothing patterns onto the teenager's lower back where her t-shirt had ridden up, "Do you want a story?"
They did not have the book she was reading to Wanda right now, but she had become pretty adept at talking nonsense until Wanda fell asleep.
"No. Could you sing please?" The girl tilted her head up to press her nose gently into Tasha's neck.
"Of course, malen'kaya ved'ma ." Nat held her tighter. Enjoy the time you have left, she thought sadly before softly starting the familiar tune, singing them both to sleep.
/
"Hey Wanda, I'm going out to the barn to feed the animals. Want to come?" Clinton stuck his head in the living room where Wanda sat with her book and a glass of Laura's lemonade, which had become her new favorite beverage of choice as the weather warmed. Natasha was there as well, sitting on the other side of the couch and doing a little work on a Stark pad. The Sokovian perked up with excitement at the prospect of going out to see the animals.
She turned to Natasha hopefully, "Tasha?"
"You go ahead, milaya." The agent gave her a pressed smile, "I've got some work to finish up."
Wanda deflated slightly. She wanted Tasha to go out with them.
During their visit, the Black Widow had seemed a little off, a little melancholy and it was making Wanda want to stay in her vicinity more than usual. Or maybe it was more that she picked up on something from the woman that Natasha wanted her nearby. She could not really tell what it was, only that it made her gravitate towards the woman more than usual. Yet Tasha kept insisting on sending her away whenever the opportunity presented itself. Not in a way that made the little witch take offense, rather it seemed more encouraging. Like when she asked for Nat to braid her hair after her shower the other day, she told her she could not at the moment since she was about to do a conference call with Steve, Maria, and Mr. Fury. She would have waited the hour or so it would have taken for her to be done with the call, but Natasha told her to go find Laura to help her and Wanda felt she'd sound too childish if she insisted on Nat being the one to braid her hair.
Then after lunch the other afternoon they decided to go into town to get ice cream, but Nat had decided to stay behind. Wanda had been ready to forgo the treat as well in favor of staying with the woman, but she again instructed her to go with the Barton family and to have a nice time. She did as she was asked, not wanting to disappoint her even though she would have really rather stayed. When they came back, Nat was sweaty in her workout gear and had to explain that she had broken a punching bag, and she immediately offered to replace it, though Clint did not seem particularly worried over the damaged property, saying it must have been time for a new one.
Whatever was happening with the Widow, she did not like it. Because as she pushed Wanda to spend more time with the Barton's, Nat distanced herself from everyone in a way she had not with previous visits. They were not supposed to leave back to New York for another few days, but maybe the teenager would ask for them to go back early, hoping that things would go back to normal at home.
"Go on. Have fun with the animals." Tasha reiterated, smiling wider though it still did not quite reach her eyes. Again, Wanda wanted to protest yet she also did not want to miss out on helping with the animals. It was her favorite activity on the farm, especially since they did not have that back at home. Nat had taken her to the zoo once, which had been cool, but she had not liked it as much as the aquarium or the farm. So eventually Wanda nodded, marking her book, and leaving it on the arm of the couch to join Clint.
The pair headed outside into the spring afternoon. It was a perfect kind of day with a warm breeze and blue skies and fluffy clouds ambling overhead. Laura was already outside watering the garden and Cooper and Lila were taking turns on the tire swing, having been ordered outdoors while their baby brother took his nap. When Clint and Wanda entered the barn, the first thing they found was that Jellybean Jack the donkey had gotten out of his stall. The man cursed, "Damn jackass is always busting the latch."
The archer made a grab for the animal, but the wily beast dodged him and made a break for outside. Clint swore again, "Shit. Wanda can you go up to the loft and get some rope. I'll have to tie up the stall until I can come out and fix it."
He made the request as he was halfway out the door to give chase to the donkey. Wanda nodded, but the man did not see this as he had already gone. She giggled, hearing more cursing from the generally formidable Hawkeye getting bested by a barnyard animal then walked to the back of the barn where a ladder led up to the loft. She climbed the wooden rungs and emerged into the storage space, looking around old farm equipment and tools and bags of feed, and sneezing a couple times from the dust until she found a coil of rope. Throwing it over her shoulder, Wanda carefully started her descent. She was still close to the top when the escaped donkey came bursting back through the barn door and braying loudly.
Wanda jumped a little at the sudden intrusion, tightening her grip on the ladder to stay steady. Unfortunately, no amount of holding on could stop Jellybean Jack from barreling ahead and plowing into the ladder in his bid to remain free. The ladder started to tip over and then it was falling down to the hard-packed dirt floor taking Wanda along with it. Her careening downward happened too fast. The little witch was unable to get her powers underneath her to stop her fall in time before she hit the ground with a sickening thud. Pain exploded along the side of her body she fell on, especially her left arm that had taken the brunt of the impact. She could not even cry out as the air was knocked out of her lungs. Gasping for breath, Wanda tried to orient herself as Clint came rushing over to her, having come in right behind the donkey.
"Wanda, are you okay?" He knelt down and frantically looked her over. The teenager could only whimper and yelped when she accidentally put weight on her throbbing arm as she tried to sit up.
Clint reached for her, "Easy, let me take a look at your arm."
"No!" Wanda scrambled away from him, backing herself up against a haybale and glaring at him through tears. It hurt and she was scared, and she wanted Tasha.
"I have to look at it, kiddo. It doesn't look good." He attempted to move in again, but she cried out even more adamantly than before.
"No! I want Tasha!" Her voice was high-pitched with desperation. He tried to reach her one more time but her eyes flashed red warningly at him and she sobbed, "No.. Tasha!"
"Clint, what's going on?" Laura peered into the barn with concern lining her face, apparently having heard the commotion from the lawn.
The man turned to his wife, "Go get Nat. Wanda fell and got hurt."
Without further prompting, the mother hurried off, leaving him to watch over the distraught teenager as she cried and held her arm to her chest. Clint tried to talk to her to calm her down, but his words were not getting through to her. She just kept asking for Tasha. Finally, the woman appeared, running through the door with wild worry in her eyes. At the sight of her, through her sobbing, the girl wailed, "Tasha!"
"What happened? What's wrong, sweetheart? Where does it hurt?" The redhead skidded to a halt in front of her, falling onto her knees and reaching out for her. Clint moved out of the way just in time before she ran into him. Natasha scanned her frantically, her gaze falling on the bent arm she cradled against her body. Wanda did not answer as she launched herself at Tasha, wrapping her good arm around the spy's neck, her bad arm protected between their bodies. Nat helped her settle across her lap and held her snugly against her torso.
"Sh, it's alright, malyshka. I'm right here." One of her hands soothed up and down her back.
The little witch whined and fisted the fabric of her shirt on her shoulder, "Tasha.."
"I'm right here, baby girl. It's alright. You're alright." Pain still radiated through her body, but her fear began to ebb away with Natasha there and she knew it would be okay. Tasha would make it so. She always did.
/
She had been staring at the same document for a solid ten minutes, unable to actually retain any of the information on it, when the front door banged open, startling her in a way that was unbecoming of the spy. She was so busy pretending to be distracted she had not noticed when she actually became distracted enough to not sense Laura coming. In the last few days, she had been distancing herself from everyone. It was not like declassifying old files was a really pressing matter, but it was a good enough excuse to avoid everyone, especially Laura who she could barely stand to be around without feeling some woozy, pulsing feeling of inferiority to the mother.
Since her gutting realization that her time with Wanda was rapidly winding down, she had begun the painful process of extracting herself from all the activities they would normally do together, giving the chance for Wanda to be a part of the Barton family, to be a part of a family without her. As much as she wanted to spend time with the little witch, the superspy had to start adjusting back to her lonely existence of rigorous training and endless missions, which meant minimally furnished apartments or bleak hotel rooms and eating takeout in front of trash TV by herself. Natasha would so desperately miss these months she had been able to spend with Wanda, but hopefully knowing how well Wanda was being cared for and how happy she would be, would be enough to make her isolation worth it.
Now though, her glum mood was replaced with alarm as she got up and out of her seat just as Laura came into view in the foyer. Panting and looking frazzled, Laura told her, "Wanda got hurt in the barn. She's asking for you."
The Black Widow was gone in a flash, leaving the less agile woman behind her. She sprinted across the yard and through the barn door. The second she stepped foot inside, Wanda cried out her name, "Tasha!"
It was the kind of shrill, anguished cry children made and it echoed in the woman's chest in a terrifying way, rattling her down to her bones. She did not break her stride though, keeping almost at full speed until she could drop down in front of the weeping and trembling girl. Her voice shook a little as she urgently asked, "What happened? What's wrong, sweetheart? Where does it hurt?"
She only had a few seconds to assess Wanda, seeing how she held her arm against her torso and the gruesome dip in her forearm where it should be straight. Natasha wanted to better inspect it, but the little witch shifted forward and threw her arm around Nat's neck, drawing their bodies together. The woman automatically pulled her in, her clearly broken arm becoming trapped between them so she could not see it any longer. Forgetting any further physical inspection, the Widow quickly transitioned to calming Wanda down first. "Sh, it's alright, malyshka. I'm right here."
"Tasha.." Her girl whimpered and tugged at Nat like she was trying to get impossibly closer.
"I'm right here, baby girl. It's alright. You're alright." She rubbed the girls back and almost instantly her crying began to diminish. Her ragged, panicked breathing became quick but deep pulls of air. While Wanda calmed down, Natasha worked on calming herself down as well. She relaxed her muscles and focused on her own breathing, tamping down the adrenaline spike she had received until she felt the both of them were sufficiently at ease. Then she ventured to ask the girl, "What happened, sweetheart."
Wanda sniffed then started haltingly, "I was o-on the ladder, an-and the donkey-y and I f-fell.."
Tasha could not quite follow her meaning, but she understood the basics and managed to make the connection between her injury and the ladder lying on the ground next to them. "Where did you fall from?"
"The t-top." The teenager shuddered at that.
"Did you hit your head?"
"I don't- I don't know."
"It's important, Wanda. Can you think about it for me?"
"It hurts so bad. My arm, and side, and leg hurt." The girl managed to get out. She spoke a little haltingly but that seemed more from being overwhelmed. Her words were not slurred, and she seemed alert, so a head injury was not likely.
"Alright, alright. You've just had a little scare is all. You're okay. But we do have to go to the hospital though, baby. Your arm is broken, and we need to make sure nothing else is."
"No." Wanda begged, "I don't want to go to the hospital."
Nat pressed a couple kisses to the side of her head to console her, "I know, baby, I know. I'm sorry, malyshka, but we have to.. Clint, go start the car."
The man stood from where he had been crouching nearby and dashed out of the barn while Natasha worked on carefully getting them off the floor. Keeping her demeanor calm and assured for Wanda, the woman said evenly, "Wanda, I'm going to carry you to the car, okay? Moving you might hurt a bit, but I'll be as quick as possible, alright?"
The girl nodded in agreement and Natasha wrapped her one arm tighter around her torso and hooked her other arm over the back of her thighs then slowly stood with Wanda. The teenager winced, holding onto Nat tighter with her one arm. The woman murmured an apology and with the girl securely lifted in her arms she walked them out of the barn and up the lawn toward the drive. They passed by Laura who stood by the porch with Nate and Lila both clinging to either side of her, both seemed worried by the accident they heard in the barn. Their mother just petted their hair, explaining it would be alright and Wanda would be better after seeing a doctor. When she approached the car Clint had pulled around, he leapt from the driver's seat and opened the passenger door so Natasha could slide both of them into the backseat.
As Clint took off to the road, Natasha tried to shift Wanda away from her a bit to better look her over, "Can I look under your shirt at your side, malyshka?"
After a beat, Wanda nodded, and the woman carefully lifted up her shirt to see her left side. Reddish bruises had already begun to mottle her ribs and disappeared into her jeans that covered her hip. She ran her hand over her side, not pressing hard but enough to feel if there was any give to her bones. Everything seemed in place though. Satisfied, she eased her shirt back down, catching Clint glancing back at them in the rearview mirror with a remorseful expression. Her gaze narrowed at him and adjusted Wanda more closely against her once again, "What the hell was she doing up the ladder, Clint?"
"Jack broke out of his stall again and ran out. I asked her to go up and grab some rope so I could tie off the stall. The idiot donkey found his way back into the barn and knocked over the ladder." Clint barely paused at a stop sign. "I'm sorry, Wands."
"It's okay, Clint." The witch said, her voice honest and quiet as she closed her eyes, her brow a little furrowed even as she tried to relax on Nat's lap and breathe through the waves of pain using the same technique Tasha taught her to help her through a panic attack.
The Widow sighed and her scowl faded. She rested her cheek against Wanda's forehead, repeating the girl's words, "It's okay… It was just an accident."
When they reached the hospital, the little witch did not protest anymore about going in, but she also would not move on her own volition. Natasha issued soft reassurances that everything would be alright while she carried her into the Emergency Room, settling in one of the waiting room chairs with the girl hiding her face in her neck as Clint went to check them in. The ER was blessedly not full, just a woman with a coughing child, a man with a bright red rash on his face that looked like poison oak and another man sitting with whom she assumed to be his unimpressed wife as he held a towel over his hand covering some probably avoidable wound.
Nat was glad Wanda kept her face concealed against her as they drew some curious stares. Wanda was still smaller than Natasha, but at the same time Nat was not exactly tall and they probably looked strange with the teenager draped across her lap. While the woman could care less about what other people thought, she did not want to cause the injured girl any more undue stress, and Wanda hated unwarranted stares and attention from strangers. It made the little witch uncomfortable. But now with her face pressed against Natasha's neck, she remained oblivious to the attention she was getting. The trio waited in silence until a nurse came over with a wheelchair, "Wanda Maximoff?"
"Yes." Nat confirmed, getting to her feet again with the girl, "I can carry her back."
"Sorry, policy says she has to ride in the chair." The nurse had to insist but tried to offer helpfully. "However, you're both welcome to come back with her."
The urge to dispute the nurse was on the tip of her tongue. She managed to curb the instinct though and moved to place Wanda in the wheeled seat, telling her gently, "Okay, malyshka, we're going back to see the doctor now. You've got to let go."
Even as the Sokovian did as she was told, she asked in a trembling voice, "Can't we go see Helen?"
"It will take too long to get back to New York, milaya. And even if we were there, Dr. Cho is in Korea right now." Natasha reminded her and said contritely, "We have to get this taken care of here."
Wanda gave a tentative nod and Tasha offered her hand for her to hold while the nurse pushed the chair through the set of swing doors, taking them to an area with beds partitioned by curtains. The nurse left them with instructions to have Wanda put on a hospital gown and to settle into the bed. Clint waited on the other side of the curtain while Nat helped her into the backless gown and got her settled in the bed as instructed. The teenager limped a little, favoring her right side that she had not fallen on, but Nat was glad to see she moved well enough that probably nothing in her leg was broken.
The Widow sat next to her on the bed once she was settled and Clint came to stand at the edge of the bed, "Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?"
"Okay." Wanda chewed on her lip, her eyes darting around nervously in the enclosed space.
"You don't have to be scared, milaya. The doctor will be here to help." The older woman soothed.
"I know." The girl claimed but the worry around her eyes stayed.
"Hello, how are we doing in here?" A woman pushed back the curtain and stepped through, distractedly looking at a chart in her hands. She appeared young, but Nat could tell she was a doctor from the white coat and the air of confidence she gave off. The woman finally looked up, "I'm Dr. Thomas. Wanda, is it? I hear you had a fall."
The Sokovian just stared at Nat and the redhead answered for her, "Yes, the ladder she was on fell over. Her left side took the brunt of the impact."
"That sounds pretty scary, huh?" The doctor had an easy, blithe demeanor, "Well that arm is definitely broken. We'll have to get you upstairs to have it x-rayed to see how badly, but I'm going to give you a checkup first. See if we need to be worried about anything else, okay?"
Again Wanda kept her eyes locked on Natasha who smiled at her, "It's alright."
She moved to the other side of the bed to allow the doctor to begin her examination. Dr. Thomas inquired about her head, shining a pen light in her eyes to check her pupil dilation, and listened to her lungs and heart with her stethoscope, and rotated her left leg around to test her mobility. Wanda winced but did not make a sound. The doctor laid her leg back down on the bed, "I'm going to look under your gown at your ribs, okay Wanda?"
"I'll step out." Clint volunteered to give the girl some privacy, adding, "And give Laura a call to update her."
When the man was gone, Natasha helped roll Wanda onto her right side and the doctor inspected her. The Black Widow grimaced as she saw the bruising had already darkened since she had looked in the car. Purple splotches covered from the top of her ribs down her side to her hip and thigh ending at her knee. The little witch reached for Nat's hand and squeezed it tightly as the doctor did her examination. With a mask of professionalism, Dr. Thomas gently prodded the area longer than Natasha thought was necessary as tears gathered along Wanda's bottom lashes. Finally replacing the gown over her body the woman announced, "You've got some severe bruising. Nothing seems broken but we'll do a full x-ray and CT of your head to make sure everything is okay in there.. How did you say this happened again?"
The teenager who still had not spoken since the appearance of the doctor remained tight-lipped, looking uncharacteristically afraid as her eyes once again darted to Natasha before looking back at the doctor from the corner of her eye, keeping her gaze trained on a spot just over her shoulder. The Widow understood the silent request just as she understood that it was Wanda's fear of doctors coupled with her being in a lot of pain that made her reluctant to address the woman let alone look at her directly. Natasha went to explain for her, "She-"
"I really need to hear it from Wanda." Dr. Thomas interjected before she could get any further, her tone suddenly feeling cold and accusatory, "In fact, perhaps you better step out so I can speak with her alone."
"No-o, Tasha.." The girl immediately cried out, her finger clamping more firmly around Nat's hand. " Ne ostavlyay menya. "
The Black Widow blinked in confusion before quickly connecting the dots as to what the medical professional implied and why. It was easy to see how with specific prompting, Wanda's reluctance to speak could be viewed as having a completely different reason. Over the months of taking care of Wanda, especially in the beginning when the girl had been traumatized and weakened by grief, Natasha had gotten used to helping the Sokovian and gotten to know her body. She knew that on her back Wanda had her fair share of scars which would be enough to raise alarms to any outsider. The spy did not really know the story behind the scars since there were many opportunities for her to have received them- Hydra, the abusive orphanage, the bombing, or a combination of the three. The girl could have gotten the marks at any time in her harrowing childhood. For the doctor, she was looking at an underweight, hurt child with evidence of egregious previous injuries, who showed all the signs of being terrified and refused to speak directly to anyone but her caregiver. It was not difficult to understand how she could come to suspect abuse. And generally abuse came from the primary caregiver.
" YA zdes', detka. YA nikuda ne poydu ." Nat first assured her, ignoring the sting that the accusation from the physician caused. Even strangers realized she was not the ideal person to take care of Wanda. Letting the girl pull their conjoined hands toward her so her lips rested against the back of Tasha's hand, she took a deep breath and turned her attention to Dr. Thomas to explain, "Wanda is a Sokovian refugee. She was in a bombing when she was 8 and then spent time in an orphanage then on the streets.. I understand you're just doing your job, but it isn't what you think it is."
Natasha left out the potentially largest factor of her scarring to protect their identities, though the part of Wanda's life she did reveal would honestly have been enough to have done the damage several times over. The little witch's glittering, green eyes bore into her, like if she did not acknowledge the doctor and focused solely on Natasha everything would just go away. Stroking her hair with the hand not currently clasped in the girl's firm grip, the woman hummed soothingly, "You're okay, malyshka. It's alright."
The doctor who had been observing them with sharp eyes held her distrustful gaze for only another few seconds before her face softened and the warmth in her voice returned, "Okay, I understand. I'm sorry, Wanda. Your mom can stay with you."
The Widow did not have time to correct the doctor's statement before she continued on, "She's going to be very sore the next week or so. Not just where the bruising is but in her neck and back when whiplash from the fall sets in. You'll have to take it easy and rest up, okay Wanda? Lots of pizza and ice cream on the couch. Doctor's orders."
Dr. Thomas gave her a sly wink and Wanda shifted her attention to the woman for the first time, the flat line of her lips almost giving her a smile. The doctor left them then, saying nurses would be by in about 15 minutes to take her up for the prescribed tests. Clint came back and took a seat in one of the available chairs while Nat stayed perched on the bed with Wanda. Things moved incrementally then.
The x-rays went quick and relatively easy as Wanda could see Nat through the large glass window she had to stand behind.
Then they went back to wait for the next step.
The CT scan was more fraught since the little witch's head had to be entirely enveloped by the machine. Wanda shook so badly that they could not get a clear image until it was decided that Nat could go in and hold her hand.
They were put in a private room after that to wait again for the results.
Dr. Thomas came in after about an hour to give them her diagnosis. She said her CT scans looked good, more than good actually. The doctor was fascinated by the results, telling them that Wanda had the most interesting activity in her frontal cortex that she had ever seen, asking if she could forward the results onto a neurologist for more analysis. The Black Widow maintained her stoic exterior but internally cursed, having not considered how Wanda's powers would appear in the scans. She politely declined, then more insistently declined when the doctor peppered her with more questions, asking if Wanda had been tested before, what her language aptitude was, if she would be interested in doing more testing. Natasha deflected the inquiries and the doctor let it go. The agent made a mental note to hack into the hospital database to strike the results from her records.
The news about her x-rays was a little more complicated. She had some hairline fractures in her ribs, which would extend her discomfort but otherwise nothing had been broken through with the obvious exception of her left arm. Her radius bone in her wrist had indeed snapped and it would need to be reset.
"We should be able to do the reset without operating. We can do it with local anesthesia but that can still be a little.. traumatic. So we can put Wanda fully under if you think that would be better for her." Dr. Thomas addressed Natasha. She turned to the girl prepared to ask her what she wanted to do but stopped short at the uncertain, frightened look on her face, clearly looking for her guidance. Tasha thought of all the bones she had broken and had set with and without pain medication and she could not imagine her little witch having to suffer through that. She began speaking carefully.
"I think it would be a good idea to have you asleep for it. You'll go to sleep and when you wake up everything will be all over with. But it's up to you. We'll do it however you want to, milaya." Wanda chewed on her lower lip, seemingly holding back tears. The woman cupped her cheek, brushing her thumb over the smooth surface and lowered her voice for only Wanda to hear, "I wouldn't take you anywhere I didn't think was safe. Remember when I promised you that, baby girl?"
The girl sniffled and pressed into her touch, finally answering softly, "Asleep."
"Okay." Nat smiled at her then confirmed with the doctor, "Let's do full anesthesia."
"Alright, I'll make the call for the anesthesiologist, and we'll get started in about a half hour." After some follow-up medical questions, Dr. Thomas left to get everything put in motion. Clint stepped out right before the doctors and nurses arrived to call Laura again. An older man, introduced to them as Dr. Bowser, quickly got Wanda set up on an IV while Dr. Thomas briefed the nurses on their plan of action. The Sokovian became nervous and antsy with the influx of medical staff in her room, but they let Natasha stay by her side and simply worked around the Widow.
"Alright, Wanda." Dr. Bowser said situating a ventilator breathing mask over her face, "Take deep breaths and count backward from 10."
"No.." The little witch whined in last minute panic, "No, Tasha.. please.."
"It's okay, baby. I'll be here when you wake up." She promised as Wanda dropped off against her will. With the teenager unconscious, Natasha had to leave the room to let the doctors do their work and whilst she was asleep they would take her back up to be x-rayed to ensure the bone had been set properly. Dr. Thomas promised she would make sure that Nat would be in the room with Wanda before she woke up. A nurse led her out of the room and down the hall to the waiting room, leaving her on the other side of a swinging set of doors.
The Black Widow stared at the clinical, unyielding doors wondering how parents could handle letting their children out of their sight. Logically, Nat knew that Wanda was in good hands. But another illogical part inside of her spasmed with white-hot fear that the world had just swallowed up her little girl and she was gone forever.
"Nat."
The redhead whipped around at the sound of her name to see Clint and Laura already sitting in the lobby. She had not even realized Laura would be coming by the hospital. She swallowed hard and approached them, "Hey. Who's with the kids?"
"I got the neighbor down the road to watch them. She babysits for us sometimes. I just wanted to check in and bring you something to eat." Laura said with a sympathetic gaze, "How are you holding up?"
"I'm.. fine." Nat lowered herself into the seat next to Clint. "They have Wanda under now. The nurse will come get us when they are done."
"Good.." Her friend smiled but her eyes were probing, "Are you hungry?"
Laura offered her a brown paper bag presumably with a loving packed dinner inside. Between the tests, the moving, and the waiting dinner time had come and gone. Yet the spy felt nauseous thinking about eating. She still accepted the bag from Laura, setting it in the seat next to her, "Thanks. Maybe later."
She rested back against her chair then, staring straight forward, her mind both blank and entirely consumed by worry for Wanda. At some point, Laura asked for Clint to go find them some coffee and he went in search of the cafeteria, leaving them alone. The women were quiet for a long moment. For Natasha, the silence between them felt like a huge cold chasm, so when Laura spoke she was startled to hear it so close and warm, "You've been avoiding me this week."
She glanced over to Laura across the chair that separated them. The brunette was not looking at her, rather inspecting her nails with calculated interest, like she knew giving her full attention to Natasha would send the Widow running and she was not wrong. Nat sat back in her chair again, licking her dry lips.
"I've- I've had work to do this week." She replied lamely.
"Hm." The sound was both skeptical and vaguely amused as Laura said dryly, "You've been working to avoid me, but that's not why you're avoiding me."
Now Natasha examined her nails, needlessly tracing the oval shape of her thumbnail with her other fingers, unable to meet Laura's eye. The older woman sighed and pleadingly requested, "Talk to me, Nat. We can always talk to each other. What's going on?"
The redhead heavily puffed out her breath. Before her allegiance to Fury, before her friendship with Maria, even before she had completely trusted Clint, it had been Laura who really pulled her back to humanity. She never treated her with caution, never treated her like a deadly assassin who was not to be trusted. Instead the mother welcomed her into her home with her small children and fearlessly gave her a place in her family. After the Red Room had tried to strip her of everything, Laura reminded her she had a place in the world, and it was hard to find the words to tell her that it was not enough anymore, that she wanted more. Finally she looked into Laura's soft brown eyes and gave her a rueful smile, figuring she might as well just be honest.
"You know, despite everything that's happened in my life, I've never wished I was someone else.. I mean there was no point in trying to change who I am, no point in wishing for things I couldn't have. But this week I've been -she exhaled softly as she admitted- I've been jealous of you."
"Of me?" Laura leaned over then, placing her hand over Nat's, "Honey, I don't understand."
"I see everything you have. You've got a beautiful home, a beautiful family, Clint and the kids adore you. And you deserve those things, because you're the most wonderful mother, Laur.. And soon, you'll get Wanda and I know it's what is best for her.. but it hurts so much to think about her not being with me."
Laura was silent for a long minute after she finished speaking. Natasha averted her eyes, a feeling of shame for what she had just confessed to warmed her cheeks. The Barton matriarch then stated flatly, "Nat, for being one of the smartest people I know, you are completely oblivious."
The Black Widow looked up in surprise at her words, her brow wrinkled in confusion at the earnest look on the other woman's face. She went on, asking incredulously, "After all this time, do you really think that it's best for Wanda to come stay on the farm?"
"I know it's best." Natasha turned away from her genuine question. "A happy home, a real mother to love her.. Wanda has been through so much already. She deserves that life. She deserves more than I could give her."
"You're wrong."
"Laura.."
"No, you listen to me, Natasha Romanoff." The woman said sternly, "When Wanda got hurt, who did she ask for?"
When Nat stubbornly did not reply, she forged on ahead, answering for her, "You. When Wanda needs a hug or reassurance, who does she go to?"
Laura did not pause that time to give her a chance to respond. "You. And you remember the picture she gave me earlier this week? After you left to shower she seemed a little off, so I asked her about it before bed and she said she had wanted to give the picture to you. You should have seen how excited she got when I offered to have it framed as a gift for you. It was going to be a surprise. You are the moon and the stars to that kid."
As the other woman spoke, all of Nat's denials and arguments moved to the back of her mind and a single hopeful notion surfaced in her mind. Would Wanda really want to stay with her? But no, even if the girl wanted to, she could not let her stay. She loved Wanda more than anything in the world, but she was not capable of taking care of her the way Laura could. Natasha was a dangerous assassin raised without the ability to care about anything except the next mission. She could not be a mother. Floundering in her thoughts, with tears pricking her eyes the agent said, "I'm the Black Widow."
As if she could follow the thoughts perfectly in Nat's head, Laura gave her soft rebuttal, "You're the Black Widow. And you're Natasha. And Auntie Nat and Natalia. And Tasha.. The only thing stopping you from being more is you accepting it."
"I'll mess it up. I'll hurt her." Her voice sounded small and unlike herself.
"You think Clint and I never mess up? Never said or did the wrong thing and ended up hurting one of our babies in the process? No one is a perfect parent, Nat." The brunette pointed out. "At the end of the day what matters most is that they know they are safe and loved. We love our kids with everything that we've got the way you love Wanda, and all you can do is hope that they know it too."
"I love her." Her words cracked with emotion, "So much."
Laura gave her a wistful, understanding smile, "A happy home, a real mother- she already has those things with you, Nat. You're enough, okay?"
"..Okay." She returned the smile as a few tears escaped from her eyes. Though she was not convinced that Wanda would ever truly see her as her mother, it was like Laura said- she loved Wanda with everything she had and hopefully that would be enough.
"Good.. Now come over here, idiot." Laura jerked her head in a beckoning motion and Nat gave a watery laugh, going to sit in the chair between them and resting her head on the other woman's shoulder as she slipped her arm around Nat. If Clint could tell that the women had just had an emotional conversation when he returned back with a tray full of coffee, he did not let on. Instead he walked up to Nat and nudged her foot with his, telling her she was in his seat. In a slightly antagonistic and jokingly childish way she claimed she did not see his name on it and refused to move. Smirking affectionately, he took the seat next to her and comfortingly patted her thigh.
The wait to be allowed back with Wanda felt indeterminately long, though in actuality it was less than two hours. During the time Natasha had her coffee and Laura guilted her into eating the turkey sandwich and apple slices she had brought for her, lecturing that not taking care of herself would do no good for Wanda. She used her mom voice, and it always amused Nat when Laura resorted to it, finding it entirely endearing. Later on the Widow would come to realize that she was guilty of pulling the same stunt with members of her team. When the nurse finally arrived to tell them everything had gone well, she also told them only one of them could go back to be with Wanda as she came out of anesthesia. Clint and Laura decided to go back to their children for the evening and after long hugs, they left for Natasha to eagerly venture back on her own.
Upon entering the hospital room, the Widow found Dr. Thomas checking her vitals, "Ah, there's Mom. Everything went perfectly. The x-ray shows that everything is set, so we don't have to do anything more invasive. After she wakes up, we should have you out of here in the next few hours."
The woman smiled at her kindly. Nat had been staring with relief and concern and warmth at Wanda, who was still fast asleep with her arm in a sling and wrapped in plaster and the red casting tape that she had picked out before they put her under, but she startled a bit at the doctor's statement. Standing at the end of the bed and gently resting her hand on her foot, Nat admitted quietly, "I'm not her mom. I mean, I'm her guardian, but I'm not her mom."
"Mm," The noise Dr. Thomas made implied she was not convinced. "I see a lot of people come and go through here. I think I know a mom when I see one."
Nat had nothing to add, and the physician once again smiled at her, "Hit the call button on the side of the bed if you need anything. She should be waking up anytime now."
Nodding and thanking her, the spy sat in the chair next to the bed to continue her vigil and as the doctor promised very soon Wanda began to stir. The little witch first started to shift around like she was uncomfortable, then she began exhaling heavily from her nose and her brow dipped in some expression of unease. With her eyes still closed, she whined, "Tasha.."
"I'm right here, malyshka." She reached out and rubbed her upper arm. "It's all done. You're alright."
Struggling to open her eyes, Wanda pouted, "Tasha, don't go."
"And leave my brave little witch? Never." Natasha moved closer to sit on the edge of the bed, stroking the worry lines from her face, "Can you open your eyes for me, sweetheart?"
Slowly, the teenager's eyes fluttered open, and she drowsily focused on the Widow. Nat beamed at her, "Hey, malyshka. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"
"No.." She answered, though frowned again, clearly still out of it, "Tasha.."
"What is it, baby? What do you need?"
"Need you."
"Alright, hang on." Natasha cooed to her and went to the right side of the bed to slip into it. Wanda immediately pushed her face into the woman's chest as Nat wrapped her up in her arms, mindful of the new cast cradled delicately between them. She kissed the little witch's forehead, "How's that?"
"Mm.." Wanda sighed with contentment and went lax against her. Natasha carded her fingers through her silky hair while the girl stared off at a middle distance with half-lidded eyes, adjusting to her surroundings as the effects of the drugs wore off.
Finally Wanda pulled her attention, sounding more alert than she had before, "Tasha, can we go home?"
"Soon honey. The doctor said we can leave in a couple hours."
"No, can we go home?" She pressed more meaning into her words and Natasha understood what she was asking. Wanda wanted to go back to New York, back to the Compound.
"Yeah, baby. We'll go home."
/
Wanda was so glad to be home. Steve and Vision had greeted them on the tarmac, both of their energies were anxious with worry until they saw Wanda was okay minus her arm kept secure in the sling. Then Natasha got her settled on the couch in her preferred entertainment room and everyone else came by to see her too. Sam shared the story about how he broke his arm when he was a kid and Sharon assured her that she was cooler now that she had broken a bone. The Sokovian was not sure how breaking her arm made her cooler, it had hurt a lot, but she trusted Sharon's judgment. Maria told them that Helen had nearly come back as soon as she found out about the accident to make sure her favorite patient was not maimed by some quack doctor. She had convinced her that it was unnecessary before she made the extreme flight back to the States. Wanda said that Dr. Thomas was nice but looked forward to seeing Helen when she returned next week.
When Sam came back from making sandwiches and fruit salad for lunch, with the trayed up food he also had a black Sharpie. He held it up excitedly, "I almost forgot the best part of having a cast. It's tradition to have your friends sign it. What do you say?"
Wanda nodded with interest, "Yeah, okay."
Before Sam could come forward, Natasha came in behind him with a large bowl of popcorn and deftly snatched the marker from his hand, declaring, "Ladies first."
"Hey!" The Falcon acted offended but did not try to fight her for it, "You are a very rude lady."
Natasha ignored him and helped Wanda out of her sling and got her arm situated on top of some pillows. Picking the most prominent spot on her wrist, the Black Widow wrote out Tasha with a heart at the end. Everyone lined up and took turns signing then before they settled in to eat their lunches and watch a movie.
Wanda cuddled underneath Tasha's arm while an unrealistic heist movie played on screen with the spy occasionally grumbling in her ear how it would not happen like that, but Wanda was not really paying attention. She was distracted by her cast and all of the names that adorned it now. Steve had written his full name 'Steve Rogers' in tall thin letters. Vision wrote his name in near perfect block font. Sharon in bubbly cursive. Maria was barely legible. Sam took up the entire space on the top of her hand. The name that drew her in the most was Tasha, her finger tracing over the bold 'T' then following along the pleasantly looped letters of the rest of her name and ending with the heart. She supposed it was odd to pick a favorite signature, but she liked Tasha's best as she repeatedly traced over it. Still there was something peculiarly disappointing about it too. The Black Widow suddenly harrumphed, "He would not be able to hack into the computer like that. And they're in Dubai, none of it would be in English."
Wanda giggled and looked at the woman's name one more time. Her finger went back over the letters, this time not following along with the black lines rather writing new, unseen letters over top of them.
M-A-M-A.
Finally she focused on the movie or maybe more focused on snuggling into Natasha, letting Tasha's presence and being home carry her peacefully through the afternoon.
/
Google Translations:
Ne ostavlyay menya. = Don't leave me.
YA zdes', detka. YA nikuda ne poydu. = I'm right here, baby. I won't go anywhere.
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